Chapter 26
Julie
Helena insisted I wasn’t cooking anything for her tonight, not after all the work that happened over the day, so we ordered in once we’d gotten back to her apartment at the end of the day.
I complained that I wasn’t just living off takeout and that I would make myself useful and prepare a meal at some point, while we were sitting over Nepalese dumplings together—Helena just smiled at me and agreed with that slightly patronizing tone—but it wasn’t like I minded her giving me food.
Especially since I’d never had Nepalese dumplings before. The eating-out offerings in Benley, Missouri were more along the lines of, you know… a single Subway or a single Taco Bell. I think I inhaled like three servings.
“So,” she said, once we’d finished eating and we sat in the living room together, Helena’s feet kicked up on the coffee table, and she looked hot being that casual. “First day of the project. How do you think it went?”
I laughed. “You know something?”
“Tell me.”
“Maybe I’m out of my goddamn mind, but I think it’s going to work.”
She grinned at me. “Oh, maybe you are?”
“Okay, I take it back. I know I’m completely with it. There’s never been anyone of sounder mind than me.”
She laughed. God, her laugh sounded so… happy.
She was incredible when she was happy like that, just lit up like she was when she got to use her skills, her actual skills, got to be a part of this—of everything she really wanted to be.
God, she was luminous. “All right, princess,” she said.
“Well, with that confidence, I guess we should really just be planning how we’re going to celebrate it all going perfectly. ”
“I will cook you a meal. A really big, fancy one. Hell, I’ll bake you a cake. It’ll have your name and mine.”
“Which one will be on top?”
“Oh, well, I mean, mine’s shorter, so mine should probably be on top, but you probably should get first billing, since, you know, you’re the one who knows what you’re doing.”
She smiled wider. “So, despite your better judgment, you just can’t help wanting to be the bottom?”
“Oh—uh.” I blinked, opened my mouth, closed it, feeling myself warm. “I mean, what would be the use in lying at this point?”
She laughed, giving me a playful push. “You know I see through all your secrets now.”
“I think I know a couple things about you now too,” I managed to say, being cool about it and not blushing. She smiled.
“Did you know I hate Estelle?”
I stopped, furrowed my brow, and I laughed. “I picked up on it after the whole, surprise, it’s Julie Branch thing.”
“Hm. Mostly it’s because she’s always right in the end, and then she’s always smug about it.” She settled back in the seat, looking up at the ceiling with a faraway look in her eyes. “I am really glad to be doing this. Instead of sitting here wallowing.”
My chest fluttered, and I was either very brave or very stupid, because I shifted closer to her, laying a hand on her arm. “It’s amazing, getting to see you come alive when you have a project you’re passionate about… you just light up the world.”
“Listen to you flirt.”
“Listen to you flirt.”
She laughed quietly. “I’m glad you came back.” She turned to look at me, eyes sparkling. “I really… quite… enjoyed the song.”
“Oh, Christ, I didn’t really think about the logistics of you hearing the song knowing I wrote it for you.”
“You’re a hell of a songwriter, Julie,” she said, and her hand fell to my knee. “You’re built for the music industry after all.”
“I am not,” I laughed nervously. “I never even thought I’d go into music! I mean, I always liked music. I just never thought… it was literally just something Kingmaker foisted upon me because his office is right above a music studio and he knew some people there.”
“Well, you take to it like a fish to water. Just like you do to business. To networking and negotiating.” She let her hand fall to my cheek, and I couldn’t breathe right. “I hate you almost as much as I hate Stellie, just so you know.”
“Oh. How do I get it higher? I want to at least be number one.”
She laughed. “I hate that you’ve talked yourself down, believing you can’t do incredible things, when you’re…
I mean, look at you. I can’t think of anybody else who could pull off what you have, all from that place you were in.
With no money to your name, all that debt, and even with all of that…
still putting your neck out there to help me pursue my dreams. Do you have any idea who you are? ”
“Um.” I was so nervous my heart was going to explode. “I guess actually I’ve been relatively bad at identifying correctly who I am.”
“You’re Julie Branch. The woman who can do anything.” She brushed her fingers over my cheek. “I’m lucky I met you at that party.”
“Helena,” I whined quietly. “You… you know how I feel about you, it’s… if you say things like that, it’s really…”
She laughed. “I do know how you feel about me,” she said, voice low. “As a hot supermodel…”
“Oh, god.” I buried my face in my hands. “Oh, my god, Helena, it’s not like that, it was literally just something flippant I said while I was trying to brush off Kingmaker and he ran with it in his stupid diagrams—”
“I know,” she laughed softly, brushing my hair back.
Holy shit, the little… soft… tender touches.
The way she looked at me like I was all those things she was saying about me.
Oh my god, if Helena Warrick thought that about me, I was a fucking goddess.
Odysseus voyaging home had nothing on me getting into this woman’s apartment.
He might have carved their bed into a living olive tree, but I blew up an inflatable air mattress in Helena’s office, so he could get in line.
“If you did just want me as a hot supermodel, you’d hardly have put yourself out there so much to help me break into something that’s actively taking away from my time for modeling.
But it’s very cute to see you blush, so I will keep bringing it up. ”
“Helena…” I said, my voice wavering. “Oh my god. You know I really, really…”
She smiled. “Yes?”
“You know.” I laughed awkwardly. “I, uh… really like you, so if you keep teasing me, I’m gonna… die a little bit. Probably a lot.”
“Well, we can’t have that,” she said, shifting closer and putting her fingers to my chin. “You dying is not… an ideal outcome. I guess I’ll have to stop teasing and follow through.”
“Oh. Um.” My stomach dropped through back to ground floor, and I let out an awkward, nervous laugh. “So you’re not… too… mad at me?”
“I’m furious,” she said, smiling wider. “Now can I kiss you furiously?”
“Wow. Yeah, you can… I mean, you can kiss me… in whatever way makes you happy. Or angry, if that’s what you want.”
She laughed, and she brushed her thumb over my lips once before she leaned in and kissed me, and I figured she was probably just drunk on sentimental feelings today, being back on track for her dreams, for what she really cared most about, and that her better judgment wasn’t present right now, or…
Or fucking hell, maybe she liked that I came back and risked everything to work with her to build something we both cared about. Maybe she liked me. Could you fucking imagine? I couldn’t. But she was kissing me, so holy shit, I didn’t have to imagine.
I softened into the kiss, slipping my hands to her back, and she guided me towards her, pulling me up into her lap as she kissed me, her lips so perfect and soft and warm against mine, and I wanted to cry because I really really liked her and I’d been so sure I’d never see her again, and…
She pulled back, her brows furrowed. “Julie?”
“Yeah?” Oh, shit, I was crying, judging by how that sounded. She wiped my tears away.
“What’s wrong? Are you okay? We can stop.”
“No, please don’t. Just… oh my god, I’m going to sound like a fucking loser.
I was just thinking how sad I’d been that I wasn’t going to see you again and that I wouldn’t know if you managed to make your dreams come true and everything and then I’m here and you’re kissing me and you’re just perfect and I’m talking too much but I don’t know how to stop now that I’ve started. ”
She smiled wider, eyes crinkling, and she laughed through a thin shimmer of tears. “Now you’re making me cry, too, so thanks for that particular magic trick, Houdini.”
“Ah, shit. Well, it’s not like I’m going to judge you for crying. I mean, can you imagine? Kind of hypocritical to judge you for having that one perfect picturesque tear on your cheek while I’m over here ugly wailing like a baby on a plane—”
She kissed me again, crushing her lips against mine, and I guess she didn’t think I was too ugly when I cried. We alternated crying and kissing like a couple of weirdos, wiping our eyes and laughing in between kisses, and she broke off with her forehead against mine to speak softly.
“I don’t think you’re a loser for your feelings,” she said. “So do me a favor and don’t hide things like that.”
“Okay,” I sniffled. “Can I tell you something else, then?”
“Of course.”
“I mean, you just had me straddling you in your lap making out, so I’m kind of horny now too, and crying and horny is a weird combination but I guess here I am.”
She laughed, wiping her face one last time and taking a breath. “Go take a shower,” she said. “Freshen up well. Use some perfume, I have a thousand samples of them in the drawers.”
“Oh. Uh. Do you think I’m gross?”
“No, I’m just going to fuck you and I want my possession to be dolled up nicely for me.”
“Oh. Holy shit. Wow. Okay, yeah, I can do that. Do you want me to wear that, um… underwear you got me again?”
“No. I want you to wear a ribbon so I can unwrap you.”
“You—you don’t think I’m going to look a little silly?”
She shook her head. “No. I think you’re going to look like a perfect little treat I’m going to savor well into the night tonight.”
I swallowed. “You know, it’s, um, it’s really hot when you just like… tell me what to do and how you’re going to… um…”
“Use you?”
“Well, yeah, in so many words.”