Chapter 4
ELIZA
‘Don’t throw it!’ Eliza screamed and pointed to the brick.
Howard stood stock still, studied the brick and his face crumpled. ‘You really think I’d do that?’
Eliza pressed herself farther against the oven, sliding down onto the floor, curling herself up into a ball. She closed her eyes and waited. Howard’s heavy breathing crossed the kitchen. Then footsteps. She braced herself. Strong hands lifted her up.
‘Open your eyes,’ said a trembling voice.
Mouth dry, Eliza did as she was told. His eyes glistened. ‘You’re leaving me?’
She didn’t reply.
‘Don’t. Please, my darling girl, I’ll change.’
‘Darling girl’? He used to call her that when they first started dating, back in the late sixties, with his trendy bowl cut and Hollywood smile.
‘Socks…’ she stuttered, not daring to move in case his mood changed.
‘You made me do that!’ he said, and… burst into tears?
‘I never wanted to hurt a hair on that cat’s head.
But you lied, Eliza – went somewhere without telling me.
I waited. And waited. You couldn’t have just nipped to the shops so I realised you must have been meeting friends – those friends who aren’t good for you, who give you ideas about a life that wouldn’t suit us.
Sometimes you’d quickly end phone calls – now I suspect they could have been to them.
’ He wiped his eyes and she caught sight of the cufflinks in the shape of crowns, wholly suited to his pathetic, fanciful ambitions.
‘Socks didn’t deserve that,’ she said, surprised at being so brave.
‘I didn’t want to do it, but what choice did I have? I never hide from you where I am. I needed to do something to show how strong my love is, how we are soulmates, how honesty is everything. You could have been having an affair.’
She went rigid as he took her in his arms. But maybe he was right.
If she hadn’t lied, Socks would have been okay.
Perhaps her plan to leave had been a bit rash.
He’d often told her no one would ever love her like he did.
What if he were right? Without him, how would she manage?
And he seemed so very sorry; those tears were real.
Howard needed help. How could she go now?
He held her by the shoulders and looked her in the face, his cheeks wet, a brief glimpse of the caring man she married all those years ago shining through.
‘Don’t leave me, Eliza. Things will be different. I promise.’
But Socks, dear Socks. And it wasn’t only about the cat. What had happened to that animal represented everything that had gone wrong with her life since being with Howard. Yet he sounded like he meant it this time. Eliza wiped her eyes and grasped the suitcase’s handle.
Howard stepped back and gazed at her hand. ‘That’s to take the case back upstairs, darling girl, isn’t it?’ He lifted his head and smiled. ‘I knew you wouldn’t really break our wedding vows and leave. What we’ve got is too special to let go of, right? You and me together. Forever.’