Chapter 02
TOSCA
As soon as I’d felt my heat coming on, I’d left the pack.
I didn’t know a lot about what to expect – this was my first heat, after all - but I’d seen what had happened to the other omegas when they’d had theirs.
Or at least, I’d seen the state they were in when they eventually came back to the omega house.
It was heartbreaking, and a little bit terrifying.
They were distressed, cried a lot, and steadfastly refused to talk about what had happened to them. Except for my best friend, Owen.
Owen was large for an omega, and he presented a tough exterior, but he’d befriended me from the moment I got here, and I knew the truth of it – he hid a sensitive soul behind a hard shell. Owen had experienced several heats by the time I joined the pack, and he was realistic but stoic about it.
“It’s shitty,” he’d told me. “But it’s three or four days every three months, so I can put up with that.
” He’d explained a bit about the physical manifestations, and how it was necessary to have an alpha help the omega through it and that it could even shorten the duration, or if there was no other choice, a beta would do, though they weren’t as effective.
We only had one alpha in our pack, plus his friends from time to time, so for our omegas it was usually betas, which meant the heat dragged on for longer.
When I’d pressed him for more information, he’d shrugged.
“Just don’t resist them,” he’d said, “that makes it worse. If you’re lucky they might assign one of the kinder betas to take care of you.
” He’d sighed, then added, “But some of them like to share. And if Alpha gets involved, well, he’s…
not the best. But like I said, it’s only three days. Endure it and then forget about it.”
It hadn’t been reassuring, and the last time he’d come back from a heat, he’d been paler and quieter than normal.
I inferred from that, that he’d had a rougher time than usual and we didn’t speak about it, but I noted that Alpha’s friends had been here at the time and I wondered if that had something to do with it.
Owen didn’t leave our shared room for several days after that time.
I was younger and smaller than most of the pack omegas, and that was probably why I hadn’t had a heat yet, but I wanted to put it off as long as I could, so I barely ate, letting my body weight drop.
I knew that some biologic functions wouldn’t happen if I was significantly underweight, and I hoped this was one of them.
I was also trying to make myself as unattractive as possible to the betas and alphas of the pack, so I would also avoid any non-heat unpleasantness.
It wasn’t just during an omega’s heat that they demanded the omegas submit to them.
When the betas or Alpha or any of his mates felt like having an omega, they just came and got one from the omega compound, didn’t matter if they were in heat or not.
I’d noticed the plumper, meatier omegas were selected more often and I was doing everything I could to not fit that profile.
I huddled in a corner of the compound when they came, making myself as small, pathetic and undesirable as possible, and if Owen was around, he often sat his large self down in front of me, concealing me.
So far, I’d been lucky. Never selected, never in heat.
But it was only a matter of time, and now here it was. My first heat.
When I detected the first early signs of impending heat, I’d crawled away under cover of darkness, desperately hoping none of the betas would see me.
But they’d become very slack since the pack had moved further into the mountains and weren’t mounting any patrols.
Maybe they figured there was nobody else out here, so deep into the wilderness.
Whatever the reason, it had worked in my favor.
No-one saw me slink away, no-one came after me.
Chances are, they wouldn’t even notice I was gone – I really was that insignificant.
I would eventually have to go back – I couldn’t survive out here alone – but I was used to eating so little that I knew I could wait out here for three or four days…
The first of the pangs hit as I made my way down the mountainside. The shock of the spasm as it hit me forced me to the cold ground. It felt like a knife had sliced through my belly, and I lay there gasping, face and belly pressed to the cold earth, while I waited until the worst had passed.
I dragged myself to my feet and continued on.
I had to reach my cave before the heat progressed to the point where I couldn’t walk.
Even in wolf form I wouldn’t survive a heat outside without shelter.
I’d be an easy prey. I knew where I had to go, just had to force myself a little further.
I’d prepared for this in advance, knowing I’d have to deal with it someday.
Some time back, I’d found an unoccupied cave and hidden some basic supplies there in anticipation of the day I would need the refuge.
That first night wasn’t too bad. I made it to the cave and huddling on my makeshift bed – a few hessian grain bags that I’d rescued from being thrown out – passed a restless night, sweating and writhing in pain, but still able to endure it. If that was as bad as it got, I thought, I’d be fine.
But the next day was worse. I was burning up from the insides out, the sweat dripping from me, and the slick!
Oh Goddess, there was so much slick gushing from me that my mat was soaked beneath me.
I’d already gone through my drinking water supplies – I’d vastly underestimated my needs - and my head was throbbing.
My tongue felt like parchment, and kept sticking to the roof of my mouth.
Shudders rocked my body, my insides cramped, my hole ached and dripped.
My head spun. I felt so sick. That night I didn’t sleep at all.
By the next morning, I would have sold my soul to stop the agony.
My head was screaming at me as if someone had driven a stake through it and my entire body ached.
Spasms rocked me with very little respite, and something was stabbing me with sharp strikes to my insides.
I whimpered and moaned, and in between the worst of the spasms, I sobbed.
I was covered in snot, sweat and slick. I felt disgusting and I didn’t care anymore.
I lay, panting and whimpering, in the gloomy cave. Beads of sweat ran down my neck. I was certain I was going to die.
“Hey.” An unexpected voice – a deep, rumbly voice – startled me. A strong, virile scent hit me.
Alpha!
Even in my misery, my pulse ticked up. Excited? Afraid? I should be afraid, shouldn’t I?
The pain made my eyesight hazy, but I could make out the terrifying outline of a tall, muscular man standing in the cave entrance. Before I could react, another spasm wracked my body.
“Let me help you,” said the man. Although his voice was deep, he spoke softly, but I didn’t trust him.
He was an alpha. I knew they weren’t to be trusted.
In terror, I scrambled back as close to the wall as I could press myself, but it was pointless, there was no way I could get away from him. Goddess, I was so hot, and I hurt…
“Why aren’t you with your pack? You need an alpha to help you through this.”
No! I screamed silently as I started to cry. He was going to hurt me. I’d run away and put myself though this for nothing. It was…
There was a growl and I found myself sitting in the alpha’s lap, his arms tightly around me.
His hard member pressed up against me. I froze, hyperventilating, my fear overpowering.
He was going to… he was going to… what? Something was muddling my brain.
I thought I was supposed to be afraid of him, but…
but… I couldn’t quite remember what I’d been so worried about.
I leaned against his chest, nose pressed to his skin, inhaling more of his alpha scent and my muscles relaxing as an overwhelming feeling of reassurance washed over me.
I had the strangest sensation that everything was going to be all right.
Until another spasm hit me ripping my breath away.
“It’s okay,” rumbled the deep voice. His voice sounded raspy, as if he were barely controlling it. “I can help you – if you let me.”
That surprised me. I looked at him, able to see him better from this close. He was… handsome in a youthful kind of way, with a mop of black, curly hair, and brilliant blue eyes, eyes that were filled with lust, but there was kindness there too.
“Only if you want me to,” he clarified. “But even if you don’t, I won’t leave you until it’s over and I know you’re okay.”
I had a choice? This alpha was giving me a choice?
Even with the lust I could see blazing in his eyes, he was giving me the choice.
Our Alpha and his mates would never have offered a choice.
Maybe he was different. Maybe I could trust him.
Goddess knew, I needed help right now. I couldn’t help myself - I burst into tears again.
“Will you let me help you?”
He was an alpha. He’d know what to do.
I was desperate. My head bobbed up and down.
He made me look at him. “I need you to actually say it,” he told me. “I need clear consent.”
I couldn’t have been more astonished, and for the briefest of moments I forgot about the pain and the fear.
I’d never seen an alpha show an omega this much respect.
Zarbius, our pack Alpha, and his buddies treated us like objects.
And Zarbius’ treatment of his mate had been no better.
That poor omega was gone now, we were pretty sure Zarbius had killed him. Something told me I should risk this.
“Yes.” I whispered eventually.
“Do you understand what I have to do?”