Chapter 20
TOSCA
I fingered the collar around my neck, running my index finger over the soft, lightly frayed edge and underneath where it brushed against my throat.
The leather was supple; the surface slightly cracked in places and a little dry.
I’d need to oil it, to keep it in good condition.
I ran my finger along it, thinking of the alpha who’d given to me.
The buckle was cool against the back of my neck, a constant reminder.
My reflection smiled back at me.
“You’re not in there again, are you Tosca?” demanded an impatient voice outside the bathroom door. “C’mon, you’re not the only one who wants to use the restroom!”
I sighed. I had been in here at least ten times this evening.
I knew I was being ridiculous, but I’d never belonged to anyone before, and I liked seeing the tangible reminder of it.
I hadn’t had a chance to tell Owen about it because there’d been no chance for a private discussion since I’d gotten back.
We’d passed each other in the house several times, but he hadn’t been alone, and each time I’d looked away, afraid my face would give away my secret.
“Coming!” I called back and flushed the toilet even though I hadn’t used it. I ran the taps and splashed water on my face, taking one last look at the flushed, heated image looking back at me. Goddess, I was so gone for that man! It was a wonder everyone couldn’t see it.
I kept my head down as I exited, Irvin brushing past me with a muttered “Goddess!”
I hurried out to the kitchen and started helping out with preparations for the next day’s meals. Dinner had been served in the food hall already, but we liked to get ahead with the prep for the next day while the others were serving and cleaning up.
Moments later, a chopping board thumped onto the bench beside mine, and I felt a solid presence at my shoulder.
I didn’t need to turn my head to know it was Owen, we were so close I’d recognize his scent anywhere.
He always smelled of sunshine and pine. It was a happy, hopeful scent that perfectly complemented his cheery nature.
“Hey, what’s going on with you?” he kept his voice low. There was no-one close enough to hear him over the rhythmic chop-chop-chop of our knives slicing through the vegetables.
“Uh, wh-what to do you mean?”
“Come on, Tosca, I know you. I’m your best friend. You can’t hide stuff from me. Something’s going on, you’ve been weird since you got back from seeing that alpha. But you keep smiling, so I know it’s not bad.”
I paused the knife mid-stroke and looked around. The kitchen was filled with the buzz of conversations, the clattering of pans in the sink and pots on the stove, as the others moved around the kitchen doing their tasks. Nobody was paying us any attention.
“He said he wants to take me with him when he leaves. He wants to keep me as his.” Then, as my usual self-doubt kicked in, I added, “For a while anyway.”
Owen eyed me sideways. “You… you’d leave the pack? To go with an alpha?”
“With him… yeah. Yeah, I would.” I smiled quietly to myself.
“Zarbius wouldn’t let you go,” Owen frowned, lips pursed thoughtfully. That dampened my spirits. I hadn’t thought that far ahead. “Anyway, he’s gone, hasn’t he? He left with Sharkey earlier. I saw them go.”
“Yeah, but he’s coming back.” I hoped he would. He’d told me he would. And he’d given me the collar to keep me safe until he could come back for me.
“Yeah? Did he tell you that?”
“Yeah. Of course, maybe he won’t, but…” I bit my lip and sliced the knife down viciously through the carrot.
The knife bit into the board with a satisfying whump and a chunk of carrot rolled free.
“I really hope he does.” The rounded end of the carrot rolled off the board and landed on the floor, and I leaned down to pick it up before it disappeared under the benches or somebody slipped on it.
“Hey!” Owen squeaked. “What’s that?”
His eyes had fixed on the collar of my shirt, where the edges had slipped down as I bent over, revealing a glimpse of the faded collar around my neck. I put my hand to my throat, pulling the shirt collar up around it.
“I haven’t had the chance to tell you yet. After we’re done here, okay?” I whispered. It was true that I rarely, if ever, kept secrets from my best friend, and I was excited to tell him about developments with my new alpha, but not where the others could hear.
Owen looked intrigued, but from the wrinkles across his brow, he might also have been concerned, but I couldn’t imagine why. We didn’t get a lot of secrets, so this was the fodder of dreams. “Okay,” he said, grudgingly. “I’m not gonna forget though.”
I grinned and went back to chopping vegetables.
After meal prep was done, Owen and I slunk away unobserved to our shared bedroom. Owen closed the door, and after the lock tumbled into place, he turned to me.
“Now, spill,” he said, his cheery plump face alight with interest, although a small V had settled in the middle of his brow. The golden highlights of his hair shone and rippled in the sunlight streaming through the window, as he jiggled, cheeks wobbling, clearly impatient for the story.”
“Zarbius offered the alpha the use of an omega while he was here, of course.” I winced, remembering Owen had been required to service one of the betas the previous night, but when I risked a glance at him, he only looked intrigued.
“And he told Zarbius he wanted exclusive use of the omega. I saw him again this morning, and he gave me this collar so the betas would know who they weren’t allowed to touch. ”
I smiled broadly, opening up the collar of my shirt and displaying the leather collar around my neck. I was certain the collar meant a little more than that, but I didn’t want to make too much of having an alpha who actually cared about me.
But if anything, Owen’s frown deepened. “So… if one of the betas decides to pick you, then when they see you’re wearing this collar, they aren’t supposed to touch you, right?”
“Yeah, that’s right.”
“And… Zarbius told them this?”
“I guess. That’s what he told Agelius.”
Owen’s eyebrows nearly shot off his face, sidetracked for a moment. “Ooh,” he blinked rapidly, eyes like saucers, “you’re on first name terms with this alpha, eh?”
“Un-huh.” I felt the heat steal into my cheeks.
I lowered my gaze, hiding behind my long fringe until I got control of myself.
Just thinking about the handsome alpha and the intimacy we’d shared had the blood rushing south, and it was all I could do not to pop a boner.
I so did not want to pop one in front of Owen.
“So… this is kind of serious then?” Owen cocked his head, like he was mentally processing a lot of information and trying to put it all together in a way that made sense. “He’s not just using you?”
My breath caught in my throat. Could Agelius be using me?
It didn’t feel like he was. After all, I’d almost had to beg him to fuck me…
“I don’t think so. He didn’t force me into doing anything.
And he was as gentle as anyone can be…” when they’re railing you into the mattress (but I didn’t actually say that bit).
The deep V in Owen’s brow was really starting to worry me. “What is it, Owen? What’s going on? Tell me please…”
Owen sighed, his face taking on an unhappy aspect. For a big man, he really shrunk a lot when he felt down about something. “Well, it’s just that – well, I overheard some stuff while putting out the meal.” His lips curled in an expression of disgust.
“Go on.”
“Well, a few of the guys were talking. I didn’t understand what they were talking about - until now. But now I’ve seen your collar...”
“What were they saying, Owen?” I could feel myself breaths coming faster and faster, and I squeezed my eyes shut to stave off the panic.
Cold fear prickled at my hairline and a heavy weight formed in my gut.
I felt like a wave of panic was rushing up the shore towards me.
. I’d trusted my alpha. What if I’d been wrong?
“They were talking about picking out some omegas for the night, and someone said 'Did you hear Zarbius said we’re not allowed to take the one wearing the dog collar?
' And someone else said, 'Yeah, but he laughed when he said that, so it must’ve been a joke', and then someone else said, 'Sharkey said it meant that was the omega we should all have a turn with. ' ”
I gasped. It sounded like my alpha had been genuine, but in this pack, anything that made you stand out was dangerous. My finger ran over the scratchy leather… it reminded me of him. I did not want to take it off. I didn’t know what to do.
Owen went on, a troubled expression on his face.
His eyes never left me. “One of the guys then said that it was easy for Sharkey to say that, but he wasn’t the one that was going to get into trouble with Zarbius.
A couple of them laughed at that and said Zarbius didn’t give a shit about what they did with the omegas and worst they’d get was a rap over the knuckles. ”
An oppressive silence fell over us. We could hear the distant sounds of the others bumping and thumping around in the kitchen, the distant lilting voice as Lucey sang his favorite song somewhere else in the building.
But in here, all was still, except for the pounding of my heart and my rasping breaths.
“Wha- What do you think I should do?” I whispered, when I couldn’t stand the silence any longer.
Owen’s soft hair was a mass of unruly curls as he shook his head. “That’s not for me to answer. What do you want to do?”