14. Riot
Riot
C hildlike eagerness pulsed through me, anticipating Nicolette’s return from the Farmer’s Market so I could hear how everything sold.
Getting all those pieces loaded up and out of the backyard provided me with a sense of cleansing.
The extra space gave me a small surge of inspiration.
I was working on a new line of birds when a vehicle rumbled to a stop in the driveway.
When Nicolette said she’d gotten a ride home, I had been curious who she’d run into but I assumed it was Chelsea or one of the committee members. When I peeked around the corner, a shot of fear ripped through me, spotting Blackwell’s police cruiser parked in my driveway.
Did he know I had left the county to take Nicolette to the hospital?
It was a stupid chance to take but it was right on the border, and she needed the ride.
Did someone tell him I’d had a beer at Benny’s?
There were no policies against it but I knew it was frowned upon.
Fuck, Nicolette made me forget myself. Made me forget what I was supposed to be working toward.
As Nicolette hopped out of the passenger side, a small wave of relief eased my tension but quickly simmered into something darker. An unfamiliar feeling withered around the knot in my gut. She gave him a friendly wave, bouncing toward the house. He grinned back at her, lowering his sunglasses.
He wasn’t here for me. That meant he was here for her. Was she interested in him? That would be bad news. Only because that meant Jeremy would be around more often, of course .
A few minutes later, the smack of her screen doorjoltedme, and Itriedto shake the dark cloud thatmatchedthe size of the dust cloud that Jeremy’s cruisermade,gunningdown my road.
Whatwaswrong with me? A minute ago, Iwaschompingat thebitto see how the Farmer’s Marketwent, now I couldn’t look her in the eye.
“I have to give it to you, Asher. I thought you were one cocky son-of-a-bitch, but you sold out within two hours!” Nicolette came bounding up to me, a wad of cash in her hands. “I didn’t move on a single price.” Pride radiated from her and my chest tightened.
I nodded and muttered “thanks,” burying my attention into the piece on my bench. She stood, shifting her weight back and forth, waiting for more from me but I kept working.
“Who peed in your cornflakes?” she asked, frowning.
I sat up and let my eyes rake over her. Her hair was pulled up into a messy knot and she had rust stains on her shirt along with grease marks. But her smile was loaded, almost like she was trying to rein it in. She tapped a fork I recognized from the diner in one hand. So, they’d gone to breakfast.
“I brought you this,” she said, notably less enthused after taking in my brooding scowl.
“Thanks?” I offered.
I was playing it down like I didn’t understand but I was once again floored at how observant she was.
When we went to the diner that morning after the Center, I noticed how well-balanced the forks were.
They would make great strikers, but it had been my first meal out in public, and stealing from a restaurant wasn’t the first thing I wanted to do.
But here she was handing me one. She really noticed me toying with it? A small shred of guilt planted itself in my ribs at how I’d greeted her.
She ignored my sour attitude. “Hey, is Brennan home? I have a favor to ask.”
“No,” I clipped, going back to work on the hubcap that was in front of me.
She shifted her weight to one leg, crossing her arms .
“No, he’s not here?” She drew her words out, irritated.
“No, you can’t ask him for a favor.” I stopped and looked up, ignoring the momentary look of surprise on her face.
“I told you when you moved in. You and Brennan aren’t friends.
You’re not going to be buddies. And he’s certainly not going to do any favors for whatever you and Jeremy Blackwell are up to. ”
Ipunctuatedmy last words, standing up and moving around to the other side of the workbench. Shenarrowedher eyes at me but Iavertedmy gaze,catchingthe light scent of lilac and metal on her. God, shesmelledgood.
Sheshiftedher weight to the other leg and I could feel her eyes boring into me. The air in the tentfeltwarm and itemanatedfrom her like a brewing hurricane.
“Well,” she clipped, turning to leave. “ Someone needs to be his friend because the only other house guest he gets to interact with is your little girlfriend and she treats him like he’s mentally challenged and you, of all people, should have corrected her.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but she held a hand up, silencing me.
“And don’t piss on my leg and tell me it’s raining.
She’s not my girlfriend .” Her voice mimicked mine, and I felt my breath quicken with my angry heartbeat.
I threw daggers at her with my eyes . “I heard her talking at the bar before you got there. Your little redemption project? Ends with you proposing. So, congrats. Sorry if I spoiled the ending for you. But I hope you live happily ever after.”
My skingrewhot. Therehadbeena time in my life when marriage and a familywere all I everwanted. I should be happy. Grateful, even, to hear that someone like Katie could see a life with me. But all Nicolette’s words didwasturn the ugly shade of dread into more anger.
Nicolette spun around and shoved the curtain back, disappearing around it.
I had more questions about what she heard Katie say but now was not the time and, truth be told, Nicolette wasn’t the source I should be hearing it from.
It was a conversation I needed to have with Katie but Nicolette tossed it out there so callously, it made my frustration boil over.
“Hey!” I stalked after her, catching up just as she reached for the screen door. “I don’t need you spreading fake rumors, okay? I don’t know what you think you heard, but it’s none of your business.”
Shemetme toe-to-toe and I could feel her hot breath on my neck. My stomachclenchedagain. From rage, of course.
“I’lltell you what Iheard.” She took a step toward me, pointer finger outstretched.
“Iheard all about her plan to make you the ultimate redemption story of Godot. You’ll spend a few more months doing community service untilshe’sready to startdatingyou publicly and then by next Christmas,you’regoingtopropose in the town center.
Then you’ll build a large house and you’ll move in together and pump out at least four children.
” Her mockeryranglouder with each word and shewashard to hear over therushingblood in my ears.
“But you’llhaveto get to work on that ,” shegavea lascivious wink, “as soon asyou’reengagedbecause time’s a tickin’.
”Shescoffed. “God, itwaspathetic and basic and just so… predictable. No surprises, no nothing. Who, in their right mind, wants that life alllaidout for them?”Herdisgustedexpressionevaporatedwhatwasleftof my restraint.
“Me! Okay? I wanted that, Nicolette,” I said her name derisively, and the skin on her neck started to flush.
“I wanted all of it. All I wanted was to play football in college, maybe warm a bench in the NFL for a few years until I saved enough money to buy a massive piece of land for my sweet , homemaker wife and our basic, predictably beautiful litter of children.”
I was using all the words I knew would piss her off, and I took a step closer to her with every breath. The fury in her eyes blended into something sadder. I continued spewing all the things I had kept bottled up over the last few years.
“I wanted that life, Nicolette! I couldn’t wait to live out my days, fat, happy, and predictable . I wanted lots of babies and I wanted to coach Little League and host garden parties, okay? I wanted it. And if that makes me pathetic then so be it!”
I had to turn around and clench my teeth to keep from screaming.
It wasn’t fair. I was being unkind and it shouldn’t have been directed at Nicolette.
These were all things I had kept gurgling inside of me and I wasn’t sure why I was hurling it all at the one person who didn’t tap dance around me.
The one person who treated me like an equal.
Irakedmy hands through my hair and my stomach did furious flips. Itooka breath andstalkedinside, halfexpectingthe little pain in the ass to follow me so she could get the last word.
But she didn’t.
And that was almost worse.
The next morning, I got in my truck and drove around, trying to clear my head.
I had tossed and turned the rest of the night, replaying my outburst over and over like a skipping record and I still didn’t know what to say when I saw Nicolette.
I knew I owed her an apology, but she had been so judgmental, turning her nose up at the idea that someone would want to settle down here and raise a family.
My anger was misplaced. Katie never came out and said it, but somewhere I knew she expected the two of us to end up in a relationship.
So I was mad at her for helping me and then holding it over me.
For trying to mold me into some little Play-Doh Ken doll, despite the fact that her dream for me had been my own once upon a time.
I was mad at my mother for being the reason I couldn’t have all those things I had wanted. And I was also a little mad at Nicolette, for showing me a hint of a world beyond, dangling new possibilities in front of me that I’d never considered, never knew I could have.
Pushing my conflicting thoughts to the side, I took my time at the scrap yard and then took a long way home, still feeling anxious about how I should apologize to Nicolette. If I should apologize to her.
When I got home, I didn’t find her in the house or her screen room.
Her room was empty and her laptop was still open on the breakfast bar, a half-drunk cup of coffee sitting next to it.
Brennan’s digital camera sat in a few disassembled pieces on the other side of the breakfast bar and nervous concern washed over me .
Faint shouts cut through the backyard. I didn’t see anyone and my stomach dropped realizing the yelling must be coming from Brennan’s place.
I threw open the screen door and sprinted across the lawn, my heart hammering in my chest. The only sound piercing through Brennan’s carnal roars was the high-pitched sound of Nicolette screaming.