Chapter 10
Rain
I wake to a shifting layer of warmth surrounding me.
"You are awake?" his voice murmurs against my skin as he presses a soft kiss to my neck. The sudden tickle of his lips causes a quiet giggle to bubble out of me.
"So, what are we having for breakfast?" He digs his fingers lightly into my waist, teasing me, and a burst of laughter escapes my throat.
"I don't know, Cody," I say, my words breaking in between the fits of laughs. "Let me go wake the kids."
I make a move to push myself up and stand, but he easily anchors his weight, pressing me back down into the mattress. I giggle at the display, the soft morning light making him look too charming. The lingering fear from last night vanishes from my thoughts.
"You smell so good," he murmurs, burying his face in the crook of my shoulder to sniff my skin.
"Why are you doing that?"
"I could inhale your scent all day."
A playful smirk touches my lips. "It definitely isn't that blue ocean perfume you got me, that's for sure."
A low chuckle escapes his chest. "Oh, I see where you are going with this."
"I see where I am going with this, too," I counter.
We trade a bit of back-and-forth banter, punctuated by a few lingering kisses, before I finally manage to untangle myself from his limbs. I slide out of bed, leaving the warmth behind to get the children prepared for school.
***
Two weeks later, it is afternoon. The bedroom is quiet.
I sit at the small desk, buried in a mountain of digital documents my father forwarded earlier.
Cody is out cold on the mattress, having fallen into a deep sleep a while ago.
By the time I finish sorting through the flurry of files and acquainting myself with the contracts, the early evening light is already deepening across the floor.
"Hey," his voice carries from behind me.
I turn around to find him already dressed.
I stand up from my seat, stepping toward him to wrap my arms around his shoulders in a full hug.
It feels surreal. Two weeks ago, I would have never imagined myself being able to hold him this freely, or being able to lean in and kiss him just like I am doing right now.
His sprained ankle has improved significantly; the heavy brace is gone, replaced by a neat bandage wrapped securely around the joint, and he moves without the support of his crutches.
His hands find my waist, pulling me closer to deepen the kiss.
"Let me go get the kids," he breathes against my lips.
I reach up, framing his jaw with my palms to pull him back down into another kiss. A low moan catches in his throat. His hands shift, sliding down the length of my back to firmly squeeze my rear. A giggle escapes me at the playful swat of his palm against my skin.
He pulls away slowly, a lingering grin on his face as he limps toward the door.
I watch his retreating back until the front door clicks shut.
Instantly, the memory of our nightly cuddles floods my mind.
I drop backward onto the cushions of the couch, letting out a muffled squeal into my palms while kicking my legs in the air like a teenager.
Then, the fear returns. The exact same doubt that follows me to bed every night creeps back into my chest. I freeze, my legs hanging mid-air as the excitement drains away.
I grab my phone and dial my mother.
"Hello, baby," she answers on the very first ring.
A breathless chuckle escapes me at how incredibly bright her tone sounds. "How are you, Mummy?"
"I am alright."
"How is your family? How are my grandkids?" she demands, her voice full of energy.
I laugh, leaning my head against the armrest. "Your grandkids are alright, Mum. Where are you?" I ask, catching the distant hum of voices and background noise through the receiver.
"I went to cut my hair," she says.
"Oh, send a picture."
"Sure, you know I always do."
I take a deep breath, the lightheartedness fading as I grip the phone tighter. "Okay... so, Cody and I have been pretty close. And... I'm scared that it might just end."
"Baby, just don't think of failure, okay?" her voice softens, dropping the playful edge. "Do you feel happy?"
I nod into the empty room before answering. "Yes, I am."
"Then walk with it," she says firmly. "If he messes up, then come home. We will take care of you and give you all the love you would ever really want to receive."
A soft laugh escapes me at the fierce, protective shield wrapped around her words. "Thank you, Mom."
"Oh, please, shh, child. Aside from the fact that we love you, we are the ones who pushed you into that marriage in the first place."
"Mum."
"Mmm."
"Stop," I say, my voice steady. "I chose to get into this. Remember, I liked him back then."
"Yes," she sighs softly. "I remember."
***
Dinner is loud and full of movement, but my focus keeps fracturing.
I watch Cody from across the table. He stares back at me, a distinct glint dancing in his dark eyes.
The kids are seated on either side of us, leaving the two of us facing each other directly, making the blatant looks we exchange impossible to miss.
I offer a small smile, and his lips mirror the expression instantly.
"Kids, make sure you don't disturb Mummy and Daddy tonight," Cody says, his tone perfectly casual.
My breath hitches. I know exactly what that implication means.
"Especially you, Rose," he adds, turning a warning look toward our daughter.
Rose prances her shoulders, lifting her chin. "Oh, please, I am a big girl."
A shared laugh breaks around the table.
"No, you're still a small girl, Rose," Samuel chimps in from his seat.
"No, I am not!"
Her face puckers, and she lets out a loud, theatrical sob, rubbing her knuckles against her dry eyes before looking up at her father to check his reaction.
Cody catches my eye across the table, ignoring her display.
He has mastered the art of withholding attention during her tantrums; he knows that acknowledging the fake tears will only encourage the performance.
"Babe," he calls out.
My fork freezes mid-air, the metal clicking against the ceramic plate. Babe, the word repeats in my mind like a strange chord. Just what game is he playing right now?
"Let's retire early tonight," he says, his gaze locked onto mine, unwavering. "No movies."
After the dinner plates are cleared, I usher the kids upstairs to brush their teeth and tuck them into bed. I am just smoothing the blankets over Samuel's shoulders when I turn around and find Cody leaning against the doorframe, watching my every move.
I step out into the hallway, closing the door softly behind me. His eyes follow me in the dim light. "Hey, stranger," I greet him, my voice a quiet whisper.
His lips curve. "Hey, stranger to you, too."
I lean my back against the sturdy wood of Samuel's door, anchoring myself. Cody steps closer, lifting his hand toward my face. His fingers are gentle as he begins to arrange the stray strands of my hair, tucking them back from my forehead.
"Remember the night I told you it won't be hard to fall in love with you?"
"Yes," I whisper, my heart beginning to pace. "I remember."
"So, I'll start with all the reasons first, before I go through with the actual confession," he murmurs. "Come."
He takes my hand, his grip warm and secure, and guides me down the stairs into the empty living room. He sinks onto the sofa, pulling my arm until I slide onto the cushion right beside him, our shoulders touching.
"Remember the other time I stayed for an extended period here at home?" he asks, his dark eyes searching mine. "The time you gave birth to our son?"
I nod, my pulse already running a marathon.
"When I watched you birth him," he says, his voice dropping into a lower register, "I felt a piece of my hardened heart crack. In that moment, the only thought in my head was, ah, the beauty of motherhood. And then you looked up at me, and you smiled."
A soft chuckle escapes me at the vivid memory.
"I remember," I say as Cody continues, his fingers tightening around my hand.
"In that moment, your eyes were searching the room for someone.
When they landed on me, it was as though you had found exactly what you were looking for.
I felt deeply honored, Rain." He bows his head for a fraction of a second.
"It might sound cliché, or even cringe, but I didn't think I was deserving of that look from you. "
He lifts his head, his gaze intensely focused. "It was that look that made me extend my stay beyond that first week. And then... I remember when your mother left for two days to attend that conference. I walked down the stairs and saw you breastfeeding our baby."
My breath catches. A sudden warmth stings the back of my eyes. Cody reaches up, his thumb gently wiping away a tear before it can trace down my cheek.
"That was the very first time I felt like this house was a home," he confesses, his voice turning rough. "It was a scary feeling because, like I told you, it was Toria or no one else. It had always been her for a very long time."
I freeze, the name scratching harshly against my ears. Toria. The shadow finally has a name.
"Then you looked up at me," Cody pushes past the pause, his expression softening. "And you smiled while cradling our baby against your chest. I felt like the most fortunate man on earth—to have a woman look up at me with awe in her eyes while holding our fruit in her arms."
A watery laugh breaks from my lips at the sweetness of the memory.
"And then I left," I remind him softly. "Why did you leave?"
"I was terrified," he admits, his eyes turning vulnerable. "I was scared that the feeling you were putting in my heart was making me forget what Toria looked like."
"But was it so bad?"
"No, it wasn't," he says, shaking his head. "But back then, I couldn't comprehend the idea of not loving her."
I give a slow nod, the historical weight of his conflict making perfect sense now.
"So, tonight, as I sat at the table and watched you," he continues, a small smile returning to his face, "your hair was shimmering under the dining light."
A genuine laugh escapes me at his poetic choice of words, and he joins in, the shared amusement easing the tension in the room.
"That exact feeling came rushing back with full force," he says, his thumb tracing the back of my knuckles.
"In that moment, my only thought was, oh, she is beautiful.
I mean, I have always known you are beautiful, Rain, but in that split second, I felt overwhelmed by how much of a woman you are.
I promise you, it might sound cringe, but I know exactly what I am feeling. "
He reaches up, his fingers tucking another stray lock behind my ear. "I felt choked up with emotions. I realized this was exactly what I had been missing out on. And then you looked back at me with those gorgeous eyes of yours, and I thought... oh, that is my woman."
A broad smile breaks across my face, stretching my cheeks.
"So, back to the question I asked," he murmurs, his face inches from mine. "Do you remember when I said...?"
I am already nodding my head rapidly before he can even finish the sentence.
"Good," he whispers. "I think I always knew I had something for you, Rain. But I was too terrified to explore it. Now, I have finally given myself permission to let go. I think I am falling in love with you."
I give a firm nod, leaning forward to capture his face. I begin peppering quick, warm kisses all over his cheeks, his jaw, and his forehead to show him how happy I am. Finally, I bring my lips to his, holding his cheek securely in my palm to anchor the kiss.
"I've always had a thing for you," I breathe against his mouth when we part for air. "And then, when we married, I fell in love with you. Because despite you having a thing for someone else, you never once treated me badly."
He leans back down, his mouth shutting me up as he takes over the kiss. Before I can process the shift, his strong arms slide beneath my thighs, lifting my weight effortlessly into his lap as he pulls me flush against his chest.
“I am sorry for not being a better husband to you,” he says, his voice a soft murmur against my lips. “But now we are trying. I promise to do better.”
He leans down, capturing my mouth again as we make our way up the stairs.
“Like I said,” he murmurs against my skin, his hands grounding me, “let's retire early for the night.”
A giggle escapes my lips, the implication of his words sending a familiar warmth through me.
***
After a night of intimacy, the bedroom settles into a lingering warmth. We are tangled together in the sheets, his breathing steady against my neck, when the buzz of his phone breaks the silence.
A woman's intuition is a strange, unyielding thing. Instantly, a knot forms in my stomach, a persistent whisper telling me the peace we just built is fracturing. Despite the urge to sit up, I close my eyes, keeping my breathing shallow and even, pretending to be deep in sleep as he stirs.
He shifts, untangling his limbs from mine to reach for the device.
“Hello?” his voice comes out low, still groggy from sleep.
A split second later, I feel his entire body go rigid against the mattress.
The change in his posture makes me scared, the comfort evaporating from the bed.
He moves with agonizing slowness, carefully sliding his arm out from under mine, trying his best not to disturb me.
He crawls out from under the heavy comforter, his bare feet making a soft, rhythmic patter against the wooden floorboards as he retreats toward the far corner of the room.
My heart pounds so loudly it feels deafening in the quiet space. I hold myself perfectly still, straining my ears to catch the shift in his tone.
“Toria?” his voice drops to a whisper.
The air leaves my lungs. I stop breathing, the name hitting my chest like a physical blow, as the first hot tear overflows my lashes and traces a wet path down into the pillow.