Chapter 25 Wren
WREN
The tree-decorating party with all the families of the club is more entertaining than I would have assumed.
There’s more candy than is required, which means there are one too many kids hopped up on sugar. And there’s a lot of alcohol flowing.
Plus, this is my reminder that club girls in want of a biker husband are everywhere, and this clubhouse is no different. In a way, I admire their unabashed efforts to repeatedly put themselves out there to every single man in the room.
The sad thing about this room is that I’m not sure where I fit. The women all got the same memo to come looking sexy. And the men are all bikers. No in between. I long for a day when this world operates in grays.
I glance down at my slouchy denim pants, sneakers, and black tank top.
“I remember that voice,” Greer says, coming to stand beside me.
“What voice is that?” I ask.
“The voice that’s currently telling you that you don’t belong and don’t fit.”
She’s wearing a black jumpsuit with silver boots. She should look like an extra from a David Bowie album cover, but with her white hair and red lips, she looks…stunning.
I smile. “Greer. I’ve known you two minutes, and I wouldn’t think you had a problem fitting in anywhere.”
She shrugs. “I’m socially awkward, point out the annoying and irritating, and generally have a low to nonexistent filter.
I’m educated, privileged, make my own money, and pride myself on making stellar life choices.
When I first got to the club, I thought no one here could accept me, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to accept them.
And yet, here I am, pregnant, engaged to a man I didn’t know last Christmas, no longer a surgeon…
and happier than I have been most of my life. ”
I don’t think she realizes that Butcher has stepped up behind her and is listening. The smile on his face says he’s as happy as she is.
He kisses the side of her face, keeping the two beers he’s holding away from her as he does so. “And I love you too, Doc.”
Greer grins as she watches him walk away. “Sometimes you find love and family in the most unusual places. You look like you’re doing better.”
“I am. Fresh air, wide spaces.”
She glances around us, and when she’s confident we’re alone, she whispers, “I want to be your friend, but I’m happy to be your doctor too. I can keep them separate if you can.”
“I decided. I’d like to try testosterone. Can I come see you?”
Greer nods in understanding. “Absolutely. Whenever you’re ready.
But for today, come sit with me and Lucy.
We’re trying to avoid Quinn because she’s trying to get us to read some book she swears is women’s fiction, but we all know is going to be some kind of erotic alien monster smut or motorcycle club romance that runs a little too close to home. ”
Catfish is sitting at the bar with Atom, and as I walk by, his eyes follow me, but there are worry lines on his forehead.
I want to ask him if everything is okay, if something’s bothering him.
Especially if it’s something I can help with.
But he’s been quiet since the call with King and Grudge.
In the kitchen, earlier, he whispered to me that he’d explain everything to me later, but that we should keep our distance today.
And that’s made me feel like a dirty secret.
Plus, Grudge hadn’t wanted me to be here this afternoon with so many extraneous club members and family around. He’d thought it too risky until both Lucy and Catfish had pled my case.
Earlier, Catfish disappeared for an hour, but it was crystal clear he’d asked Jackal and Shade to keep an eye on me. They did a good job, taking me to the gym, where we lifted some heavy weights.
The more time I spend with them, the more I think I’m right about those two. There’s something about the seamless way they interact, and how Shade looks out for Jackal, that tells me they’re utterly familiar with each other, more than just friends.
I nurse my Coke. When I was younger, I went through a wild phase, drinking more than was healthy. Occasionally, I left myself wide open to the reckless behavior of others and a pathological need of my own to fit in.
But now, when everything’s shifting and moving in my life, it makes sense to keep my wits about me.
“Wren,” Lucy says when I take the seat opposite her as Greer pulls out a stool. “How are you settling into the ranch house?”
“It’s perfect. I hope you don’t think I needed to get out of the bakery because of you.”
She smiles at Grudge, who has just entered the bar area from some corridor. “I don’t. But I know he might have played a part in it. He’s a good man. Just a little tightly wound right now.”
If I’m being sympathetic, I know that. Knowing he was incarcerated for something he didn’t do must be hugely painful, and now he has the pressure of becoming president of the club. “I understand. But really, I just needed some…freedom.”
Greer rolls her eyes. “I’m not sure these men understand the meaning of the word, sometimes.
Butcher gets his panties in a knot whenever the medical center truck is approached by more than two people at once.
The man has taught me to fire a gun, has given me some basic knife-fight lessons.
And he vacillates between me locking the door or leaving the door unlocked when I treat someone inside. ”
The music changes, as does the mood. Some old band singing about changes. It’s low and melodious, but the singer has the rasp of an old rocker.
“Hey, Luce, get your ass over here.” Grudge’s voice echoes through the clubhouse bar.
Some of the men start to whistle and clap and cheer.
Lucy looks up, a little stunned, at first, her mouth open, and then she finds the poise I saw from her for those few days at the bakery.
“Maybe you should get your ass over here, instead,” she shouts. Her smile is wide, and I actually admire the confidence she has when it comes to managing Grudge.
And I wonder what it would feel like to have that with someone. I can’t help glancing over to Catfish, who has his eyes on me. Because everyone is looking at Grudge and Lucy, Catfish winks, and it goes a long way to reassure the vibe in my stomach.
Grudge does exactly as Lucy says and begins a real lazy walk to our table. I nudge myself back out of the way, so Lucy is front and center. Whatever this is, I have no part in it.
“Oh shit,” Lucy whispers nervously. Guess she’s picking up on the intensity in Grudge’s eyes too and moves to stand in front of our table. She smiles at him when he reaches us. “What are you up to, Zach?”
Zach.
Somehow the name humanizes him a little more.
When he drops to one knee in front of her, even I gasp. Then, cheers break out all around us. People are yelling. It’s hard to hear all of them.
“Let the man speak,” Taco yells. Catfish told me Taco helps with some of the club administrational tasks, but I haven’t spent a lot of time around him.
I see Lucy’s hands shake as Grudge takes hold of them. “Oh!” she gasps.
There’s momentary silence. Grudge looks at Lucy like the sun rises and sets with her, and for a second, I see the man behind the patch. If you ever wanted to hurt him, you’d hurt Lucy.
And when I look over to Catfish, I see it in him too. If you wanted to hurt him, hurt me.
“Bug,” he says proudly. “The first time I asked you to marry me, I thought I knew what love was. I thought the fire in my gut for you ensured we’d last forever.
We were young and reckless, and the world took advantage of us both.
It stole years from us in ways we were too young to know how to fight. ”
He coughs gruffly to let the words settle, before swallowing deeply.
“But you…you never left my heart, Lucy De Bose. Even if you left my life. Not for a single goddamn day.”
Lucy’s eyes shine with tears, and I find myself fighting back the sting of them.
“When you walked back into my life, angry and fierce, I thought I could ignore you, but I lasted all of five minutes,” he says.
The bikers seem to find that funny.
I find myself wanting to know the story of their first relationship. I gathered snatches of it from our time in the bakery, but not all of it.
He reaches into his cut and pulls out the most stunning ring I’ve ever seen.
“Like last time, I’m asking you to get married quick.
But, unlike last time, I want to marry you properly, in front of our friends, wherever you want.
I love you for who you were. For who you are.
And for the woman you’re still becoming.
I’ll spend the rest of my life making up for the days we lost and getting the most out of the days we have left. So, will you marry me, Bug? Again?”
Lucy throws herself against him as she drops to her knees. But he catches her with a familiarity that says he’s caught her before, and he’ll catch her again.
“Yes,” she whispers. “God. Yes.”
The room erupts into applause and whoops and hollers.
Some of the women are crying, especially a pretty woman in her mid-fifties that I assume is Grudge’s mom.
But Grudge simply keeps hold of Lucy, and I’m so close, I hear him whisper to her, “And this time, no one else is going to write the ending, except us.”
It’s enough to crack the frost around my heart.
When people take the opportunity to crowd them to congratulate them, I find my way over to Catfish.
He’s the only person left at the bar. I ask, “You aren’t going to congratulate them?”
“I’ll find the right time. Plus, if I stay here, I get to talk to you for a few minutes before everyone realizes we’re here. Enjoying yourself?”
His hand drops off his lap and brushes up against my thigh. The touch is light, but I feel giddy at the connection.
“I am. Are you? You look worried about something.”
He lowers his shoulders away from his ears and takes a breath before tipping his chin in the direction of Grudge. “He’s concerned that King won’t pay us for protecting you if we…”
I glance over at where Grudge has stood and is holding Lucy in his arms; they are face-to-face while her legs dangle.
“Maybe that’s a good thing,” I say. “For you and me.”
His brow furrows again. “Why is that?”
I smile softly as I focus on the happy couple. “At least I won’t have any reason to doubt your motives.”
“Not sure I understand your meaning.”
I turn to face him. “For as long as the club is getting money for me being here, you have a reason to keep me around. But as soon as the money is taken off the table, and you still keep me around, then I know it’s me you want.”
Catfish bites back a grin. “Guess so. But you don’t really think that’s why I want you, do you?”
I shake my head. “Never.”
Wraith steps away from the mass huddle to put his phone to his ear. The fat grin on his face immediately drops. He presses his fingers over his ear so he can hear what is being said down the line more clearly. And then he jolts, like a man electrocuted.
“FBI,” he yells.
The music screeches to a halt.
“What?” Grudge says, lowering Lucy to the floor.
“The FBI are on their way up Main Street to the clubhouse,” Wraith yells. “Everybody move.”