Chapter 28 Catfish
CATFISH
Itighten my arms around Wren’s shoulders, pulling them closer and pressing a kiss to the top of their head.
There are two parts of me listening to their story.
The part that hates the fact Wren has battled these levels of confusion on their own since their mom died.
Wondering why people can’t just be more accepting instead of judging.
And the piece of me that’s wondering how what the two of us do together changes.
“I can only imagine what it feels like to feel so displaced in your own body. I’ve always had it easy. Once I was big enough, no one fucked with me. Did that happen a lot?”
“So much about gender is about other people’s perception.
You can’t really tell a person’s gender just by looking at them.
You can’t know if someone is intersex on the subway.
I’ve had to grapple with the societal expectation that, as someone who is non-binary, I should present more androgynously to the world to avoid their confusion.
Like, if I don’t seem other enough, I won’t be treated as non-binary.
Because of the way I look, people often treat me as a woman.
But I’m proud of how I present, even though there are things I want to change.
I’ve made peace with who I am and how I might evolve.
Some days, I wish all this was a non-issue.
That no one ever asked for an explanation of who I am, so I could just spend my time fishing instead of justifying my existence. ”
I place a palm over my heart. “You love fishing?”
Wren nods. “Bait, fly, spinning, trolling. One day, I’m gonna do deep-water big-game fishing.”
Love the idea we could do it together. Because of the ranch, Atom can’t get away as often as he’d like, so sometimes I come up here alone.
Many a time I’d sit here at night and wonder what it would be like to find a wife to sit with me.
Guess maybe that was the only detail I got wrong in the daydream.
It won’t be a wife. It’ll be someone more special than that.
“Never done big game. Done a lot of everything else. We’ll do it. When all this is over. Heard the Keys and Miami are perfect in January. I’ll make plans.”
“Or I will. I’m happy to be the breadwinner, the protector, the builder of our home.”
“Guess we’re going to have some interesting conversations in our future,” I say.
“About what?” Wren sits up a little, and I miss having them snuggled against me.
“Because some of the things you’re saying rub right up alongside things I’ve always wanted to be and what I want to provide for my family. I want to take care of you. Protect you.”
“Then you do that. And I’ll take care of you while you’re busy taking care of me. Fifty-fifty split, remember.”
“How about seventy-thirty?”
Wren grins. “I’m not renegotiating this with you. Stop being demanding.”
“Then maybe that means we’ll be millionaires in the next couple of years because we’re both hustling for each other.
” I reach for their arm and squeeze their tight bicep.
“And as for the protecting, I’m sure with muscles like this, you throw a mean punch, but if there’s ever a gun fight, I’ll pick you up and throw you behind me just like Hammer did when I was a kid before I’d let you fight my battles.
And I’ll take you fishing all the time. Atom and I do a lot of it in the summer, and you’re a darn sight prettier to look at than he is.
Wait, is it okay to call you pretty? Handsome isn’t how I think of you. Is that wrong?”
Wren looks up to the ceiling, biting on their lip, for a moment, and I’m worried I committed some fucking awful sin in thinking of them that way.
“You’ve called me pretty before,” I say. “So, I hope it’s not as bad as your face tells me it is.”
Wren shrugs. “It’s a weird word for me. I hate it when someone calls me that, but I can see when someone else is. And I get that it’s a compliment, which might feel counterintuitive, but then, I’m not sure dysphoria is a rational thing either.”
“Got it. Pretty is so last year. Tell me what word works that gives the right vibe and makes you feel good about yourself.”
“Would attractive work?” Wren says finally.
I place my finger beneath their chin. “Yeah. Attractive works. You’re a darn sight more attractive than Atom is. A darn sight more attractive than most, I’d say.”
Wren reaches around the back of my head and grips my hair like I grab theirs. Our lips collide, and then Wren bites my lower lip.
“Be playful with me,” they whisper against my mouth.
I reach for Wren’s hips, gripping them hard, as I lift them over my thighs. Who knew that an honest and open conversation could make a person horny as fuck? Because there’s no slowing Wren down now that they’ve started.
They straddle my lap, thighs tightening around my hips, hands braced on my shoulders, like they’ve always belonged there. It’s not urgent, yet. It’s teasing.
Wren grabs the elastic that holds the end of their braid and unravels it, letting their hair fall down around us. While I’d want them even if they shaved their head, I hope they keep their hair. I love the way it feels in my hands and drags across my body when they move.
Their lips brush mine in the softest of teasing kisses, and I groan as I feel the heat of them drag over my cock. It’s not enough friction, but I resist the urge to grab their hips and force them to grind.
Be playful with me.
Wren grins down at me, knowing full well what they are doing. “Still want to look after me, Mr. Protector Man?”
I give in and grip their hips. “Always. Doesn’t mean I won’t let you ride me down into the mattress.”
Wren glances at the rug. “We’re sitting on the floor.”
“Happy to let you ride me into that too.”
Without another word, Wren begins to take off their clothes, and I’m glad the fire has caught, making sure it’s warm enough for us to get naked. I spread my arms out on the sofa and watch.
Not sure there’s anything sexier than being with a person who finally feels confident in their own skin around you.
When they tug their binder over their head, it lifts their hair with it.
“Up you get for a second,” I say, tapping their thighs. And when Wren stands, I slowly remove their boots and socks. Then, my hands move to their waistband, and I undo the button and zipper of their jeans.
They’re so oversized, they slip down their body as soon as I’m done. Without a word, I help Wren step out of them. They’re wearing a pair of boxer briefs that are tight fitting and hug their ass.
“You know,” I say, running my finger beneath the waistband. “You could wear just about anything, and I’d still find it hot.”
Then, I instruct, “Turn around,” and Wren does as I ask.
I palm the cheeks of their ass, squeezing them before playfully spanking them. Wren gasps. But I don’t intend to hurt them. I tug Wren back to me and bite their ass cheek through the soft gray cotton.
They bend forward slightly, and I see a wet spot blooming. I press my thumb over it, rubbing back and forward.
“Mmm,” Wren says. “This feels foolish, given someone could be looking for us.”
“But so good, right?”
Wren chuckles. “It is.”
I slide their underwear down their legs and run my tongue between the cheeks of their ass. Not enough that I can reach that spot.
I release them for a second and undo my belt and jean’s button and zipper before shoving them down, along with my own underwear, so my cock is exposed. There’s something nasty and honest about Wren being naked and me being dressed. I grab the condom in my cut pocket and put it on.
“Ride me, Wren,” I say, offering them my hand as they turn.
They lower themself slowly, I place my hands gently on their hips. Even though everything in me wants to buck up and bury myself deep. Their breath catches, and their pupils dilate enough to make my cock jump.
They reach between us and guide me to their entrance. Slow and confident in their actions.
Wren sinks down slow, inch by inch, head tipping back as a soft grunt spills from their lips. My fingers dig in as I hold still, letting them take what they need at their pace.
“Goddamn,” I say through clenched teeth. “You feel good.”
Wren’s eyes meet mine. There’s nothing coy there. Just the same kind of rawness I feel. That every time we touch each other like this, it matters. And when they’re fully seated, I can feel their muscles fluttering around me, like their body is still adjusting to the intrusion.
“You okay?” I ask, my thumb digging into the crease of their hip.
Wren leans down and presses a kiss to my mouth. “Better than.” They begin to move, painfully slowly, setting a rhythm that’s all about connection.
“Love the way you clench every inch of me. Drives me out of my mind.”
I slide one hand up their back, tangling my fingers in their hair so I can guide their mouth back to mine. The kiss is wet and messy and perfect, and they whimper into my mouth when my other hand trails up their body inch by inch until I can cup one of their tits.
“You good?” I murmur, my thumb brushing lightly across their nipple.
They gasp, nod, and I do it again.
“Can I?” I ask, tugging gently on the soft nipple in my fingertips. It hardens beneath my touch, and little goose bumps flare on their chest.
“Yes. Please.”
I pull their nipple to my mouth and suck, soft at first, and then, with a little more pressure. Using my tongue on them until they cry out and grind down on me a little harder. Nails that have grown a little longer dig into my shoulders.
The move sends sparks sizzling along my spine.
“Fuck, River,” Wren says.
“I love your body,” I say, brushing my lips across the gap between their nipples before sucking the other one into my mouth. “I love every inch,” I say between licks. “Love that you trust me to touch you like this.”
Wren’s rhythm falters, their body trembling.
The fire crackles around us, the mood shifting to something deeply connected and intense.
“I love that you look at me like I’m enough,” Wren says.
“Because you are.”
They move again, hips rolling faster, and I thrust up into them, meeting each movement.
Wren slides their hands into my hair. “Talk to me.”
“You’re the most incredible person I’ve ever held in my arms.”
“Yeah?”
“You’re mine, Wren. I want to take you apart like this every night. Want to spend every goddamn day building a life with you. Not what the world expects, but what we want to build. Just you and me.”
Their mouth crashes to mine, and I feel the tension coiling between the two of us. My hands are everywhere. Over Wren’s hips and ribs and chest.
Wren is gasping and moaning, riding me like they want to live up to their promise of riding me into the rug.
Their knees must hurt.
“I’m close,” they whisper against my lips. “I need…fuck…I need…”
“I’ve got you. Come for me, baby.”
I place my thumb over their clit and rub firmly. The increased pressure is exactly what Wren needs, and they fall apart, their cry ricocheting around the cabin as they clench so tightly around me that I lose it too.
“Wren,” I groan.
We collapse together, forehead to forehead, Wren slick with sweat and shaking. I pat around on the floor to find the hoodie they took off and cover their back with it while we catch our breath.
Wren pulls back just far enough for me to be able to look into their eyes. “I’ve never let someone do that with my chest before. Not like that.”
“Did you enjoy it, though? I don’t want to do anything that ever makes you feel shit about yourself.”
“I did,” Wren says quietly, the corners of their mouth turning up in a shy smile.
They curl themself into my chest, and I wrap both my arms around them, hoping I’m strong enough to do what I have to do to keep them safe.
And I know I’ll give up everything I’ve got to do it.