14. Autumn
CHAPTER 14
AUTUMN
H e’s right. I do like him. I like the way his hand feels around mine. I like how he seems to be in a perpetually good mood and how quick he is to smile or laugh. I like how easy having a conversation with him is. For someone like me, who doesn’t like making small talk, this is huge. I think it’s really sweet how whenever we’ve been alone, he’s gone out of his way to make sure I’m comfortable—emotionally as well as physically.
We take our time as we wander down the beach. With our hands clasped, we probably look like a couple to the other beach goers. My lips curve at the thought until I glance down at my rounded stomach. No, they’re most likely thinking, why is he with her?
“We haven’t really spoken much about your family. The only thing I know is you’re an only child. Do your parents live in Rhode Island?”
“No, my dad’s in the military and they’re currently in Germany.”
“Were you born in Rhode Island?”
“No. He was stationed in California at that time.”
“Did you have to move around a lot?”
“Yep.”
“That must’ve been difficult for you.”
It wasn’t great. “I survived.”
“There’s a difference between surviving a situation and thriving in it.”
“I definitely wasn’t thriving, but I don’t know if I’m a ‘thriver’ in general. Not everyone’s meant to live their life largely. Some of us are content to quietly plug away.”
“There’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to personalities or the way we choose to live.”
“Right. And I’m sure my nomadic upbringing has a lot to do with that and many other things.”
“Actually, that explains a lot. I thought you were just mean.”
I scoff and push my shoulder into his. “Now you’re the mean one.”
He laughs. “I’m just messing with you. Are you a little grumpy at times? Sure, you can be. But you’ve never been outright mean to me.”
I glance at him. “That can change at any time.”
“Thanks for the warning. But I bet fired-up Autumn is sexy as hell.”
“What?”
“You heard me. I bet your cheeks get all flushed and your bosom heaves.”
I suck in a choked gasp and then a laugh bursts from me. “Bosom? Someone’s been reading historical romance novels.”
“Actually, I haven’t read one, but I’m not against it. We could read one together and act out the steamy parts.”
I glance up at him. “You just want to see my bosom heave.”
“Guilty. But can you blame me?” His blue eyes lower to my generous cleavage, then climb back up to meet my amused gaze. He waggles his eyebrows and grins.
Laughing, I shake my head and move my focus back to the seemingly endless shoreline that stretches out in front of us. The wet sand is pleasantly cool under my feet and the sensation of my soles sinking into the soft surface is pure bliss. The cloudless sky is a deep blue that matches the color of Rogan’s irises. And every once in a while, a sea breeze washes over my sun-drenched skin like a gentle caress. Capping all that off is the fact that I’m holding hands with the hottest man on earth. I’m in the midst of one of those perfect moments life has to offer, and I’m thankful I’m recognizing it as so. This is something I’ll always remember. However, there’s a drawback with memories. They’re never quite as sharp as the original moments are.
“What are you thinking about?” Rogan’s deep voice pulls me from my thoughts. “You look so contemplative. Are you working out the mysteries of the universe?”
I smile. “No. Nothing that complex. I was appreciating how nice this is.”
He stops walking and our tethered hands keep me from moving on. “This?” he presses, moving in front of me.
I squeeze his hand. “This. Us taking a walk on this beautiful beach with the sun brightly shining and the sounds of the ocean all around us. It’s…”
“Perfect,” he finishes for me.
I nod slowly. “Yeah, it is.”
He releases my hand, framing my face between his palms. His eyes intensely search mine, as if he’s not sure what he’ll find. There’s a pull between us, an electric charge to the air that can’t be denied, and I’m tired of resisting him.
His face lowers toward mine, accelerating my heart rate so much, I’m convinced it’ll pound free of my chest before I can experience his kiss. My eyelids shutter right before his warm lips briefly settle on mine.
He draws back slightly, nuzzling the tips of our noses together before he presses forward, kissing me again. All gentleness evaporates with the first meeting of our tongues. My hands move up to clutch his shoulders and I push up onto my toes as the kiss deepens.
Wrapping an arm around my back, he draws me closer, licking the salt from my lips. A large hand lowers, gripping my ass. His other hand slides down from my cheek to possessively circle the front of my neck. The world around us falls away, leaving just the two of us sharing the kiss of my life with the waves rolling in to lap at our feet.
When we finally part, my lips are swollen, and they’re not the only part of me that’s tingling. We stare at each other in stunned silence. I dare say he’s just as surprised as I am at how powerful our physical connection is. I knew I was attracted to him, how could I not be? And I knew he was interested in me, but this could change everything.
He rests his knuckle under my chin. “What could possibly be wrong after that kiss?”
I smile. “The kiss was amazing.”
“And now you’re freaking out?”
“No, I wouldn’t say that. I’m just worried this will change everything between us.”
“I fucking hope so,” he says.
“I fucking hope not ,” I counter.
A flash of annoyance crosses his face. “Would it be so bad if we got romantically involved with one another?”
“I don’t know. It could be good. Or it could be horrible.”
“Or maybe it’ll be mostly fantastic with some bad mixed in. Isn’t that what life is all about?”
“Yeah, it is, but we need to be smart about this. You’re at a crossroads in your career. You’re on the verge of making your goal your reality, and you don’t need anyone or anything to distract you from doing that.”
He nods. “I am, but I hardly think caring about someone else will prevent me from achieving what I want.”
“Do you really want to take that risk?”
He unblinkingly stares into my eyes. “Yes, I do.”
“You do?” I imagined he wouldn’t want to.
“Yes. I told you I’m confident in my ability to handle my job and a relationship with you. Unless you’re a high-maintenance mess who’ll make unreasonable demands of me.”
“I might be,” I tease.
“No way. I don’t get that vibe from you at all.”
“How about we hang out as friends before we decide anything?”
He sweeps a damp lock of hair away from my eyes. “Haven’t we been doing that?”
“This is only the second time.”
“Third if you count dinner at your place,” he corrects.
“Even so, that’s not much.”
He groans. “I can’t believe I’m asking, but what are you thinking?”
“We hang out as much as we can and get to know each other better.”
“Isn’t that taking a step backward? We just got to our first kiss and you expect me to be content in the friend zone?”
“I didn’t mention no kissing.”
“What about a little gentle caressing?”
“Above or under the clothes?”
“Whatever I can get,” he says.
I laugh. “Let’s stay above the clothing for now.”
He wraps his arms around me, holding me close. “I’m not a fan of rules, especially these, but I’ll do whatever you need if it means I get to spend time with you.”
We stay at Rogan’s until it’s past my bedtime. But with it being Saturday, I’ll get to sleep in.
“Want to do something with me tomorrow?” Rogan asks.
“Maybe. What do you have in mind?”
“I’m not sure yet, but I’ll think of something fun for us.”
“You’re asking me to trust you to show me a good time?”
His grin is purely wicked. “Oh, I’ll show you a good time. You can count on it. Even following your asinine rules.”
I tap my index finger against my lips. “Hmm.”
He yanks me into a hug. I squeal as he squeezes me tightly and rocks me from side to side. “I’m picking you up at eleven. I’m even letting you sleep in.”
“Okay. I’ll be ready. But it would be helpful if I knew what to wear.”
“Something comfortable.”
I give a perfunctory nod. Casual and comfortable are my go-to look. “I can do that.”
Scarlett walks over to us. “Thanks for the invite. I had a great time.”
“You’re welcome anytime. Thanks for dragging this one over.” He tips his head toward me.
“I’m good at giving her a kick in the ass when she needs one,” Scarlett says.
I shake my head. “Get in the car before I leave you here.”
“As if you would,” she says, walking down the driveway. Once she’s closed inside the car, I turn to Rogan.
“I wouldn’t really leave her but it doesn’t hurt her to wonder.”
He laughs. “Yeah, she seemed really worried.”
“Zip it,” I say with a smile.
He presses his lips to my forehead in the softest kiss. “Drive safe.”
“I will. See you tomorrow.”
He winks. “You bet.”
I practically float to my vehicle. I’m still flying high from that epic kiss we shared. I slip into the driver’s side and close the door.
I sense Scarlett’s gaze locked on me before she speaks. “Well, well, well. Someone had a lot of fun.”
“You?” I say, starting my car. I carefully back from the driveway, avoiding his teammates’ vehicles parked along the side of the street.
She laughs. “Stop dodging and admit it.”
“I’m not afraid to say I had a great time.”
“You two disappeared for a while. What happened?”
“We went in the water and then took a long walk on the beach.”
“Did he kiss you?”
“Yep.”
“And? How was it?”
“Mind freaking blowing.”
“Yes!” she shouts. “So what’s the deal with you two now?”
“We’re friends.”
“Friends?”
“Yep. I told him I wanted to take our time and build a friendship before we progress to more.”
“How does that even work when you’ve already kissed?”
“We’re going to be kissing friends.”
“You’re crazy if you think you’re going to be making out with that man and nothing else is going to happen.”
“We agreed we can also touch each other over our clothes.”
“Jesus, Autumn. You’re heartless. The poor dude’s balls will be so blue he won’t be able to play football.”
“If his game suffers at all, I’ll have to walk away. I won’t be the reason he doesn’t achieve his goal.”
“Yeah, because it’ll be that easy for you to do. You seem to think by limiting the amount of physical contact the two of you have, it’ll make it easier to get over him if the two of you don’t work out. But in the meantime, how do you plan to keep your heart from getting involved?”
That’s a great question. One I don’t have an answer for.