Chapter 12
Zara
I don’t know what to think. I don’t even really know why I’m angry. Drew has been nothing but wonderful to me, and that makes me feel ungrateful. But I think that may be the problem. I don’t want to feel gratitude to anyone. I’ve had it drummed into me how lucky I’ve been to have the life I’ve had.
Lucky isn’t a word I’d use, but it’s what they used. My parents. My father is a bully, and my mother . . . I don’t think she ever really wanted me. But that doesn’t answer the burning question in my mind.
Why?
Why is Drew being so kind? I was disgustingly awful to him, yet he doesn’t seem to remember it. I’ve brought trouble to his door, yet he doesn’t seem to care.
I shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth, as my father would say, but I can’t shake the feeling that all this runs deeper than I know.
There was some sort of underlying meaning to my father buying a horse from Drew, a man who my father has decided he hates. And my father wanting Richard to train it. It doesn’t make any sense.
As we pull up at the stables and get out of the car, I can see that Drew isn’t as happy as he was before. I didn’t want to annoy him or make him upset with me. I’d just had enough of being pushed around in front of people—not physically, but when he told the assistant to bag everything up, I felt like a child, someone who couldn’t make a decision if my life depended on it.
Maybe he’s right. Maybe I am so pathetic that I need him to buy my clothes for me.
He doesn’t speak as he opens up the doors and lets me inside. He locks and bolts them again after us, and we head upstairs to his apartment.
“Do you want wine with it?” he asks, taking out some plates from the cupboard.
“I’m fine with water, but if you’re having wine, I’ll join you.”
He puts the plates down harder than I would have expected, and it makes me jump a little.
“Did you just flinch?” he asks, his eyes staring in to mine.
“You made me jump, that’s all,” I reply, my chest tightening as I look into his deep dark eyes.
He steps closer to me, and I can feel myself starting to panic. “Zara, I am going to get annoyed, I am going to be pissed off at times, and I’m going to bang shit around. I’m human. But I will never, ever take my anger or annoyance out on you. If I bang a plate or slam a door. It’s normal. What isn’t normal is me grabbing you or hitting you, and that will never happen, not while I’ve got breath in my body. Do you believe me?” he asks, his tone sincere but firm.
I nod. I know how my father treated me isn’t normal. Laura has been telling me for years to run away.
“I think you’ve had a lot to deal with, and I’m sorry that I took over tonight. I was getting bored. I’m sorry. Men and shopping don’t go together. Carlos tried to warn me, but . . . I thought I could handle it.”
“So, you weren’t mad at me for not picking any of the clothes?” I ask, looking him straight in the eye, wondering if I’ll know if he lies.
“I was a bit. My stomach was starting to rumble, and I was getting pissed off with being cooped up in that room,” he says truthfully.
“Why didn’t you say so? We could have left at any point.”
“Because you own one bra and one set of panties, and I’ve seen you in those. I wanted to see you in different ones, too.”
“You don’t like my underwear?” I snap, feigning being offended.
“Oh, I like you in underwear, but I’m a man that likes variety. It’s the spice of life, or so my mom says.”
“So, you took me shopping to by me new knickers?”
“Those, amongst other things. Look, Zara, you’ve been to hell and back in the last two days, and I shouldn’t have pushed you so hard, and I don’t want our first argument to be over panties.”
I nod and smile. He’s made it all sound so trivial and unimportant. I move into the kitchen, collect the silverware from the drawer, and pick up the plates and take them to the dining table.
Drew follows with two large carriers of food, which he lays out around the empty spaces.
“Help yourself and eat as much as you want. I will finish off what you don’t eat.”
I look up at him and blink. There are at least four full meals here, with side dishes and prawn crackers.
“I normally eat a lot. And I’ll need the extra calories for all the extra exercise I’ll be doing.”
I feel the heat in my face. He’s talking about sex again. It’s only been a few hours.
“You’ve got a dirty mind, Princess. I was meaning the longer runs I’ll have to put in. I’ve had a few days off, and I don’t want to be getting a dad bod anytime soon.”
“You run?” I ask, trying not to sound disappointed that he didn’t mean sex.
“Ten miles a day usually. You can join me in the morning if you think you’ll be up to it?”
I shake my head. “No, I’m not good at running. I’ve never had to. I don’t see the appeal of getting out of breath and sweaty.”
“You saw the appeal earlier. You were certainly out of breath, and both of us were sweaty.” He fills another fork full of food and practically inhales it. “Why don’t you give it a go? I’ll do one mile with you, and then I’ll do the rest on my own. You got some pretty fancy running shoes in that haul.”
I smile. I might as well get some use out of them, even if it’s only one time. “Okay. But don’t get mad if I’m sick.”
He laughs, shakes his head, and inhales more of the food.
By the time we’ve washed the dishes and cleaned up, I’m so tired. Drew is right, it’s been a damn awful couple of days. I thought my father would have come back again today, but he hasn’t, and that’s more unnerving than him banging on the door.
“I’m going to head to bed. I can hardly keep my eyes open.” I yawn at the thought of a comfy pillow. I’m just about to open my bedroom door when Drew’s fingers wrap around my wrist gently.
“Where do you think you are going?” he asks, leaning in so close, if I reached up, I could kiss him.
“I didn’t want to assume that you’d want me in your bed again. I know we’re not an item.”
“Oh . . . Right . . . Okay . . . Well then.” He steps away from me, and I know I’ve hurt his feelings. “Good night, Zara. Sleep well.” He opens his bedroom door and closes it behind him.
You’re such an idiot. Why did you have to say that?
I change into the T-shirt that Drew gave me last night. It’s not dirty; I only had it on for a couple of hours, and it makes me feel closer to him. Even though I’ve probably just blown it completely.
I brush my teeth and notice that my bathroom has been stocked with female products, and when I turn and look in the shower, there is coconut shampoo and conditioner. How did he know that’s my favourite fragrance, and more importantly, where did it come from?
I try to get comfortable, but this bed is not as soft as Drew’s. I toss and turn, and eventually, I get up and walk to the kitchen. I need a glass of milk. Milk always helps me sleep.
“Can’t sleep?” Drew asks from behind me.
“No, and I didn’t mean to say what I said. I don’t know what we are, and I shouldn’t assume.”
“I’m not a fan of labels. So, let’s just take it a day at a time. There’s no rush to declare our feelings or even our lack of them. I’d like for you to get to know me and me to get to know you before we take that step. Does that make sense?”
“It does, but can I just ask one thing?”
“Yeah?” he asks as he pours two large glasses of milk.
“Please don’t bring anyone back here.”
“You mean another woman? To have sex with?”
I nod. He’s so goddamn handsome, he must have women queuing around the block, and from the two times we’ve slept together, I could understand why.
“Do you think so little of me? Why would you think I’d do that?”
“It never stopped my father. Even with mother in the house.”
“Zara, I like you a lot. I’m just not ready for a label on us yet. You might hate me in a week.”
“And you could send me back in a week also.”
“I will never send you back. Now drink up so that we can get to bed.”
***
The sun blares in through the windows. Drew must have opened the curtains when he got up. I check the time, and it’s nearly 9:00 a.m.
Why didn’t he wake me?
I shower quickly in my own bathroom with my coconut gel and shampoo and try on some of the work clothes we bought last night.
I still don’t have good work boots, but I feel a million times better than I have in a long time. Drew didn’t pin me to the bed last night, but he did hold me close until I fell asleep.
As I enter the stables, I can hear raised voices. Carlos and Drew are both shouting, and the horses are getting anxious and making noise.
I walk out of the stables and turn the corner into the yard, where I see what all the noise is about.
“Get off my property before I call the police and have you arrested for assault!” Drew is right up in my father’s face. He towers over him, and the sight is frightening.
My father spots me. “What bullshit have you been filling him with?!” my father screams at me.
“Don’t fucking go there. I’ve got the proof. You even think about laying a finger on her again, and I’ll make sure you regret it for the rest of your sad, pathetic life.”
“You little bitch. You need to come home. Your mother is sick, and she needs you!” he yells again, but there is something in the way he said Mother was sick.
“What’s wrong with her?” I ask. “And why do you need me to come?”
“She wants to see you. She misses you,” he says, and I know instantly he’s lying.
I laugh loudly, and Drew and Carlos both glare at me in surprise. “My mother has never missed me. She’s been away on holidays for months on end and not even a phone call. You think because I’ve been gone for two days, she’s going to declare her love for me? I am not going to that place you call home. This is my home now.”
“You will regret this, Blackmoore. And you better not have defiled my daughter. She’s promised to someone else.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Drew screams in my father’s face. His hands grip holds of my father’s jacket.
“Drew, stop! Stop him, Carlos!” I cry as Drew throws my father to the floor.
“You are fucking piece of shit. Get off my property. If I catch you, or anyone connected to you snooping around, you’ll be sorry.”
Drew walks over to my father, and I think he’s going to kick him, but he kicks dust in his face. “If you even think about coming after Zara, I will ruin you and your associates. Do I make myself clear?”
“I will never back down, Blackmoore,” he says as he finally gets to his feet.
“Bring it on. You want to ruin everything you’ve got, be my fucking guest. I might be some horse trader to you, but you have no idea who or what you’re dealing with.”
“I have more of an idea than you think, and you will regret ever being born by the time I’ve finished with you.”
My father gets into the back seat of the car, and the driver pulls away.
“Why didn’t the driver get out to help?” Carlos asks me.
“He probably was rooting for Drew. None of my father’s employees like him.
“Good to know,” Drew says and then wraps an arm around my shoulders. “Anyway . . . did you sleep well? You were completely out of it this morning.”
I nod, but I’m totally flummoxed. He’s just gone from nearly fighting with my father to asking me if I slept well.
The day goes by with no further interruptions, and I do my light duties of making coffee and sandwiches for lunch. It’s all good, but I’m bored to tears.
“Drew, please, can I help with something? I don’t like standing around like a spare part.”
“Not today, but maybe tomorrow. I forgot to ask; you didn’t bring your passport with you by any chance?” he asks.
“No, I didn’t think I’d be staying here,” I reply, wondering where this conversation is going.
“No problem. You do have one, don’t you?” he asks.
“Yeah, but I don’t know if it’s in date. I don’t get to see it, other than walking through security and passport control.”
“Hmm . . . then I think we need to get an appointment at the passport office. That’s a job that’ll take you a few hours. Give them a call and tell them that you’ve lost it.”
“Why? Are we going somewhere?” I ask stupidly.
“We are going to visit my family in New York. I think getting you out of the country for a few weeks might be a good idea. I’ve got a few horses to look at in Texas, and I’ve got one of my horses running in Kentucky.”
“One of your horses? I thought they were all here.”
He shakes his head and smiles. “I have facilities in the States, too. I’ve not been to visit them in a while.”
I’m surprised. I never thought about him having other places. “Oh, right, and you want me to come with you?”
“I’m not leaving you here. You saw how fucked-up your father was this morning. Carlos found him trying to sneak in. If we’d both been in the paddock, he could have made his way upstairs. Which reminds me, I need to make sure we put a security system on the gates.”
“You don’t need to go to all that trouble, Drew. I feel like I’m causing you more problems every day.”
“Your father already has a grudge against me for a reason only he knows. If I’m not here and you’re not here, he might lay off for a while.”
“Or he might completely combust. He’s a nasty man, Drew, and I don’t want to drag you into this anymore.”
“What are you saying?” he snaps.
“I don’t know. I know I don’t want to go back, but I don’t want you to lose your businesses.”
He steps forward and takes my hands in his. “I won’t lose my businesses, and even if I lost everything—which I wouldn’t let happen—but if I did, my family would step in. Collectively, we have a fifth of the world’s wealth.”
I stand there not understanding what he’s saying, and then it hits me hard in the chest. He’s not just rich . . . he’s untouchable.
“You’re . . . one of those Blackmoores. You’re in the Forbes rich list,” I stammer.
“Yeah, I thought you knew. I don’t walk around with a placard, but it’s not a secret.”
“I never put the two together. You don’t dress like a billionaire.”
He laughs and smiles at me. “And what do you suggest a billionaire wears to shovel horse shit.”
“I wouldn’t have thought you needed to shovel horse shit yourself.”
“I don’t need to do it. I want to. It’s grounding. It reminds me of something my dad said to me.”
“What’s that?”
“You only get out what you put in.” He laughs and releases my hands from his to wrap around my waist and presses a soft kiss to my lips. “And this conversation has gone far enough. Go upstairs and ring the passport office and get an appointment. I want to get out of here as soon as we can.”
Four hours on hold, and I have an appointment for tomorrow.
The apartment door opens, and Drew walks in looking tired, hot, and sweaty. “Hard day?” I ask, smiling.
“It’s not been too bad. Did you get an appointment?” he asks, and I nod.
“Tomorrow at 2:00 p.m., but—”
“What?” he asks, a frown appearing on his face.
“It’s in London.”
“And the problem?”
“It’ll take up the whole day, and I know how busy you are.”
“Stop worrying about me, please. It’s actually becoming a little annoying. I’m a grown man, Zara, I have managed all these years here in the UK on my own,” he grumbles.
“I didn’t mean to upset you, but you have to remember I’ve been used to walking on eggshells. It’s not easy to turn it off,” I snap back at him.
“Well, you need to try a little harder. I’ve seen you in action, Zara. You’re feisty and strong, and that’s the Zara that gets my dick hard. I don’t like seeing you scared to open your mouth. I know your father is to blame, but I’m not him, trust me enough to be yourself. Please.”
“Has something pissed you off?” I ask tentatively.
“There you go again, asking questions like a mouse. You’re going to have to toughen up, Zara, if you’re going to be around me.”
“Drew!” I snap at him, hurt and anger bubbling inside me. “What the hell has gotten into you? If this is because I didn’t want to try all those clothes on last night . . . I did it for you.”
“Me? How the hell would you behaving like a mute benefit me?”
“If any of those shop assistants walked in on me and saw those bruises, who do you think they would blame for them? Huh? Not my father, that’s for sure.”
He looks at me like he wants to scream and then shakes his head. “Luna’s Paradise is sick, and we don’t know why. The vet said that the kindest thing to do would be to put her to sleep, but I can’t do that. Not when there’s a chance.”
“Do you have any idea what’s wrong with her?” I ask, taking his hands in mine.
He shakes his head. “No, Carlos is staying with her and will call me if I need to go back down. She was lame this morning when I went to turn her out, and now she won’t even stand. Lifting her head is a real effort.”
I pull him close to me, rest my head on his chest, and wrap my arms around him. “I’m so sorry, Drew. Is there anything I can do to help? Maybe we can give Carlos a break and go and sit with her for a while.”
“I’m sorry for being a complete twat. I shouldn’t have said all that to you. You didn’t deserve it. I promised I’d never take my anger out on you, and I couldn’t even keep that promise for a day.”
“Drew . . . you weren’t angry at me, you were upset. I think I needed to hear it, too. Feeling sorry for myself isn’t going to make me move forward.”
“You’re a special woman, Zara. Most women would have told me to fuck off if I’d spoken to them like that. I’m glad you didn’t, but don’t let me get away with shit like that. Stand up for yourself and tell me I’m being a prick.”
“I won’t, you can be sure about that, but what about the passport office tomorrow? Should I try and rearrange?” I ask in my strongest voice.
“No, I’ll get someone to take you if I can’t leave Luna. It’ll be someone I trust, so don’t worry.”
We spend the rest of the day and the evening taking turns looking after Luna. She doesn’t seem to be getting any better. She needs to stand up soon. Being on the ground for too long isn’t good for her.
It’s 5:00 a.m. when Drew’s phone rings, and he jumps out of bed like lightening. “I’m on my way.”
He pulls his clothes, and as I sit up, I say, “You go . . . I’ll make some coffee and bring it down.” He turns and half smiles at me before running out of the room, still trying to put his boots on.
I give them a good ten minutes before going downstairs. If Luna was in distress, they didn’t need me hanging around, but when I get to the bottom of the steps, I see Drew and Carlos leaning over the barrier, looking at a really happy horse.
I put the tray of coffee down and walk over to where they are standing. “What’s happened? Is she okay now?” I ask, looking up at Drew. He’s smiling, but there is something else there in his eyes.
“Yeah, she seems okay. But we’ll know more when the blood work comes back. The vet took several samples. I’m just glad she’s back on her feet.”
“Me too, but I think it counts her out of the race next week,” Carlos says, stroking Luna’s nose.
“Definitely, and I wouldn’t normally be suspicious, but it’s a bit of a coincidence that she has been the favourite to win since her last race.”
“You think someone poisoned her?” I ask, shocked.
Drew drags his hands through his hair and then down his beard. “I don’t know, but we’ll find out. Someone wanted to stop her racing, and it doesn’t take a brain surgeon to work out who. My only question is . . . how and who actually did it.”