Chapter 21
CHAPTER
TWENTY-ONE
Liam
As much as I wanted her to spend the night, I thought we both needed some time to process what to do next. And she wanted to get home so she could get Seraphina early in the morning.
But I haven’t been able to sleep at all since she left.
Not because of what happened between us, but because of what comes next.
Meeting her. Seraphina. My daughter.
The word still feels unreal in my head. Like something I’m afraid to touch, in fear that it will disappear.
I stare at the ceiling, thinking of her sitting on Alie’s office floor—tiny sneakers, crayons, a smile that could light up a room.
Two years.
A little life I didn’t know existed.
As the sun comes up through my window, I know today is the day. I need to meet her today. I’m not waiting any longer to meet my little girl.
I pick up my phone what feels like every ten minutes. Just waiting for a decent time to text Alie.
By eight, I can't wait anymore. I feel like I’m crawling out of my skin as I pace around my kitchen.
Liam: Hey. Are you free today?
The reply comes a few minutes later.
Alie: Yes. You want to meet her today?
Liam: I do.
Three dots appear.
Then disappear.
Then return.
Alie: Okay, we can do that. Can you come by around noon?
My heart kicks up instantly.
Liam: Your place?
Alie: Yes, I think that would be best.
Liam: I’ll be there.
Alie: I’ll send a car for you.
Liam: I can get my own ride.
Alie: No, it’s okay. I promise it’s not a problem.
Liam: Okay, I’ll see you then.
I set my phone on the counter and take a deep breath. I’ve never been more nervous in my life.
By the time the driver pulls up to one of the fanciest buildings I’ve ever seen, my hands are aching from clenching them so hard.
I’ve played championships in front of eighty thousand people. I’ve handled critics and press conferences after tough losses. I’ve signed life-changing contracts.
But none of that compares to this.
I sit in the car for a minute and stare at the building.
“Sir.” The driver holding the door for me prompts.
“Right, sorry.” I climb out and straighten my shorts and shirt.
When I walk in, I take in the ambiance. I imagine what my little girl sees when she walks through here every day. But I guess this is all she’s known, so to her, it’s just home.
The doorman guides me to where I’m supposed to go, and then I’m on my way up to Alie and Sera.
I inhale a deep breath in the elevator. You can do this.
As I exit, I see Alie standing against the wall in shorts and a short-sleeved sweater. She looks as nervous as I feel when her eyes meet mine.
“Hi. Reggie, my doorman, called and told me you were here.” She smiles softly.
“Ah, okay.” I nod.
“Come on.” She holds her hand out to me.
I take hers in mine, and we walk down the short hallway.
The door is cracked open, and when we walk in, Alie drops my hand.
I look around, noticing the cozy feel of their home. It smells like clean laundry and cookies.
Then I hear a tiny voice say, “Mommy?”
My chest tightens.
“I’m right here, baby,” Alie says.
Small footsteps sound, and then she appears.
She’s holding a stuffed football, her hair is slightly messy, and she’s wearing leggings and a T-shirt that has some Disney princess on it.
When she sees me, she stops in her tracks. Her eyes are wide, but not like she’s scared. More like curious and assessing.
“Sera, this is my friend, Liam,” Alie says, gently.
She tilts her head. “Hi.”
My throat goes dry.
“Hi,” I manage to squeak out.
She’s real and mine. And I have no idea what to do. I always thought I was good with kids. I can handle Archie and Emma’s like a champ, but I’m completely lost right now.
Sera walks closer to me, slow but confident. Not afraid. More like she’s trying to decide if I’m interesting enough.
“You tall.” She points at me.
Alie laughs. “He is tall, yes.”
I crouch down instinctively so I’m closer to her level.
“Yeah,” I say. “I guess I am pretty tall.”
She studies my face.
“You play football?” she asks.
My chest pinches.
“I do.” Christ, why can’t I say more than two words at a time?
“I wuv football. I watch Twitans,” she says proudly.
“Titans, baby,” Alie corrects.
“Poppy’s team.” She smiles.
“That’s right; it is.” I nod.
Sera looks at my hands, my shoes, then back at my face.
“You pway with us?”
The innocence of her questions hits like a punch.
I glance at Alie. She just smiles.
“I do. I’m the quarterback for the Titans now,” I explain.
She seems satisfied with my answer.
“See my room?”
I laugh shakily. “Yeah, I’d love to.”
She holds out her little hand to me, and it nearly does me in. I look at Alie, and she nods, encouraging me.
We walk hand in hand to her room, and it’s the biggest kids’ room I’ve ever seen. Chaotic in the best way, with stuffed animals, crayons, books, and dolls. And very pink.
Sera sits on the floor and starts talking a mile a minute.
“This bunny Luna. This my book. This my horse,” she says, holding up a drawing of what looks like a possible horse.
I sit cross-legged on the floor, listening like each word matters more than anything else in the world. And it does because I missed all these little moments. But I’m here now, and that realization hits me hard enough that I have to take a breath to steady myself.
Suddenly, Sera crawls into my lap, like she’s done it a hundred times.
“Read,” she says, holding out a book to me.
I look over at Alie, who just smiles a little tearfully.
“She loves that one.”
So, I read. And my voice shakes a little at first, but Sera doesn’t notice. She just leans back against me, completely comfortable, flipping pages and pointing at pictures. Like I’ve always been here.
A while later, Sera’s in the living room watching a cartoon, and Alie takes me into the kitchen.
We stand there quietly for a second, watching Seraphina.
“Well?” she asks. “How are you doing with this?”
I exhale slowly. “She’s … incredible.”
Alie smiles through watery eyes. “Yeah, she is.”
I shake my head slightly, overwhelmed. “I don’t know how I missed two years of that.”
Guilt flickers across her face. “Liam—”
“I’m not here to fight today,” I say gently. “I just … want to figure out how to be here now.”
Relief floods her expression. “I want that too,” she whispers.
I glance back toward the living room, where Sera’s laugh bubbles at something on the screen.
“She hugged me,” I say quietly.
“I would say she likes you.” Alie sets a hand on my arm.
“Thanks for letting me come over today.” I cover her hand with mine.
“Of course.”
I drop my hand, but wrap my arms around her waist, burying my head in her neck.
“I just can’t even tell you how I’m feeling right now.”
“I know,” she says, sounding a little choked up too. “It’s the same for me, but in a different way. I’ve been doing this on my own, and now you’re here.”
I pull away and look at her face. “I’m not going anywhere, just so we’re clear.”
“Okay.” She nods.
“We’ll figure out what works for her in terms of getting to know me. I’ll let you set the pace, but I want her to know I’m her dad. Soon, Alie.”
She nods and swallows. “Okay, I agree. She needs to know you’re her dad.”
“And I want to see her as much as I can.”
“I understand. I will need to tell my parents, too, so we’ll need to decide how to handle that.”
“Do you want me to do it with you? I would like to be there. I don’t want them to think I abandoned her.”
“Let me think about it. It might be best for me to handle that alone first.”
“Alie,” I start to argue.
“Let’s enjoy our day, and I’ll come up with a plan and let you know.”
I look at her for a minute, assessing. “Okay, but that’s a conversation that needs to happen immediately.”
“You’re right, and I will.”
“Mommy,” Sera calls from the other room. “Lunchtime?”
“I’m working on it now,” Alie answers.
“I want nugs.”
“Dinosaur nuggets?” I ask Alie.
“Yep. We’ll eat something else; don’t worry. I had some sandwiches delivered before you came.”
“Thanks.” I turn, looking at my daughter.
She takes a drink from her sippy cup, then looks over her shoulder and sees me. Her little hand lifts, and she waves with a toothy smile.
And when our eyes lock, I feel like time stops. She has my eyes. They’re brown, and her lashes are long. Same sharp assessment in the way she looks at people, like she’s trying to figure out who they are.
I feel like I’m looking in a mirror.
“Time for lunch,” Alie calls from behind me.
Sera hops up and rushes over to us. Alie lifts her and puts her into a booster chair at the table, and I see her kicking her little feet back and forth, like she’s got nowhere else she’d rather be.
I take a seat across from her, and I’m captivated by this little ball of energy.
She talks in determined toddler half words as she picks up a nugget, dipping it in some kind of yellow sauce.
When she finishes eating one whole nugget, she lifts up her little arms above her head and claps.
“Bite one down. See?”
“I see,” I say, leaning forward in my seat like this is the most important play of my career.
She beams, and in that moment, something in my chest caves in. Because that smile was for me. And I know without a doubt that I would burn the world down for her.
“Good job, Sera. Now eat the other ones on your plate,” Alie instructs.
I look between them. The love clear on their faces. And instead of jealousy for missing out on all these moments, I feel … content, peaceful. Because I know that even though I wasn’t here, this little girl of mine has been loved and cherished.
She dips another nugget into the sauce, and some of it drips on to her shirt while she lifts it to her mouth.
“Uh-oh, Mommy.”
Alie reaches for a napkin at the same time I do, and our fingers touch. She looks at me and smiles in offering, but I pull my hand back. I’m not sure if Sera would want me to help yet.
So, I watch as she tries to help her mom clean her shirt, only to make a much bigger mess, making me laugh before I can stop it.
She freezes and looks at me. Then she starts laughing, too, and I’m done for.
After she’s cleaned up—the best Alie can get her anyway—we finish our lunch, listening to Sera tell me about her favorite color, her school, and her eyes light up when she asks me about football.
So, I talk to her about throwing the ball to different players in the easiest way I can explain my job. And she just stares at me the whole time, like what I’m saying is the best thing ever.
Once she finishes her last nugget, she starts to rub her eyes.
“I think someone is ready for a rest.” Alie stands and starts to clear the table.
“No nap, Mommy.” She pouts.
“Yes, you need to rest just for a little bit because we have to go to Mimi and Poppy’s later for dinner.”
“Oh, cake!”
“Yes, we’ll have cake for my birthday.”
Taking this as my cue to leave, I stand and join Alie in the kitchen to help clean up.
“I got this,” she says, trying to wave me off.
“I like helping.” I look down at her and smile. “Thanks for lunch.”
“Of course.”
“Mommy, down.”
I look over at Seraphina, and she’s wiggling in her seat.
“Go ahead. I’ll finish cleaning this up,” I say, nodding toward Sera.
“Thanks,” she says, smiling.
I take care of the dishes and trash, then meet them in the family room.
As much as I would love to stay and just be near her—and if I’m honest, Alie too—I think it’s time for me to go.
Sera wiggles out of Alie’s arms and over to me.
“You come back?” She looks up at me with her big brown eyes.
“Yeah,” I say. “If that’s okay with you.”
She nods enthusiastically. “Yes, we play football.”
I can’t help but laugh, and I look over at Alie, who’s watching us, eyes a little watery.
“We can absolutely do that the next time I see you.”
“Sera, you’ll get to see Liam on the field at practice on Monday.”
Sera claps her hands. “Yay!”
I look at Alie. “She will?”
“Yeah, she’ll be with me while I’m working. She likes all the pictures and drones and the snacks that all the players sneak to her.” She winks at Sera, who giggles.
I nod. “Good. Then I’ll see you both then.”
Sera walks over to me and wraps her arms around my leg, like it’s the most normal thing in the world.
Shocked, I look at Alie for guidance, and she nods with a smile.
I squat down, breaking her hold on me, but before she can move away, I open my arms in invitation. She dives into me, almost knocking me off-balance.
“Oof, you’re strong,” I tease.
She giggles the sweetest sound. “Bye,” she says, then releases her hold around me.
I swallow hard.
“Bye, Seraphina,” I say as she skips away to the couch.
Alie walks me to the door, and we stand there quietly, just looking at one another.
“You were really great with her,” she says softly.
I shake my head. “I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing.”
“None of us do.” She shrugs. “We just figure it out.”
“Right.” I nod.
“I’ll talk to you later?”
“Yeah, that would be nice.” I lean down and kiss her cheek.
Then, with one last look over Alie’s shoulder, I see Sera watching us carefully, a stuffed football in her hands.
I wave at her, and she waves back with a smile.
Something settles deep in me. It’s not fear, or anger, but something … steadier and protective. And I can’t wait to see them both again.