14. The Preparation
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
THE PREPARATION
The next day, I woke well past sunrise to a puffy face and a pillow damp with tears. I’d nearly forgotten how much those memories hurt. But although I coped, I’d never fully healed; the nightmares were a reminder of that. They always came back with a vengeance when I was emotional, as though my brain was a sadist that liked to throw more challenges at me during times of stress. I lay there in bed, deep in thought, before it registered that the sun had risen a while ago and no one had come to get me.
After throwing on clothes, I checked the hallway and brought in the tray that was waiting for me. The day’s breakfast was a trio of white balls smothered in fragrant syrup. The inside was dense but moist, with a cakey texture and nutty taste. The syrup was thick and sweet with a floral, honey-like quality to it. It was so delicious that I forgot where I was until I was licking leftover syrup off my fingers.
When the knock came, my heart damn near burst out of my chest. Wiping my hands down the front of my shirt, I leapt up and made my way across the room. My chest began to tighten with anxiety as I debated how I would face Riel given the events of the last twelve hours, but to my surprise, it was not him on the other side of the door.
“Luenki!” I exclaimed, my shoulders dropping in relief. “Good morning.”
“ Ishamenarin , Avery,” she greeted with a warm smile. “Are you well this morning?”
“Yes, thank you. How have you been?” I stepped aside to make room for her to enter, figuring that she had come by to say hello and chat for a bit.
“I am well,” Luenki replied, lingering in the doorway. “Are you ready?”
“Oh!” I hesitated. “Is, um… is Riel not…?” I trailed off when I realized I wasn’t sure what I wanted to ask. Was he busy, or was he avoiding me because of the weirdness last night? And… did his not being here make me feel relieved, or disappointed?
“The second prince is otherwise engaged.” Luenki’s tone was apologetic. “But I am happy to be your companion today. A woman’s company is perhaps more appropriate anyway—I am taking you to our clothier to have new attire crafted for an event.”
I’d begun to lean against the doorframe, but her words made me straighten in interest. “An event? What kind of event?”
“The king has been away for many weeks, but now we celebrate his return. Guests will be coming from the city, and there will be food and entertainment. Do you like to dance?”
Those niggling worries started up again. Somehow, I got the vibe that she didn’t mean freestyling. “Uh, you mean like ballroom dancing? Waltzes and stuff? I can’t say that I do.”
Luenki waved away my concern. “Not to worry. It is informal. Most people use these events as an excuse to wear nice clothing and socialize. Shall we go?”
“Oh, yeah.” Trying to keep my thoughts optimistic, I focused on looking forward to the nice clothing as I stepped into the hallway and shut the door behind me. Another thought occurred to me unbidden. “Heard anything from Vivian and George recently?”
“Not since we were last in touch,” Luenki responded. “Our exchanges remain cordial. They are glad you are feeling better, but… well, there is not much news to share.”
She didn’t say it, but I heard what was left unspoken—they were hoping to hear that my powers were back in full force. Any other news was inconsequential. Although I’d been meditating almost daily and had more energy than ever, I still hadn’t managed to make any progress toward drawing mana . When I tried, all I felt was my familiar little spark of magic. Riel assured me it took time, but I couldn’t help but feel frustrated at the lack of progress, even as the part of me that wanted to stay as long as possible was secretly pleased.
“Consider what style of dress you would like,” Luenki suggested, interrupting my brooding. “Our clothier works quickly, so it is a good idea to have an image in mind.”
I examined her peachy A-line gown as we walked. She often wore dresses, as she did today, the style somewhere between ’90s prom and costumes out of a Renaissance Faire catalog. But I had seen some of the female employees wearing slacks, so perhaps something with pants would work, like a romper. Having this kind of design power was daunting.
“I’d appreciate some guidance,” I admitted, not ashamed to rely on Luenki at this point. “I don’t even know much about fancy clothing where I’m from, much less what sort of styles would be acceptable here. I always just wore what I was given.”
Luenki beamed, pleased at the thought of assisting me with my selection. “Long skirts are popular for events such as these. Sleeve length depends on the weight of the fabric. A shapely waist and low neckline would be good, to show off your figure. As for color, blue would suit you nicely.” Her gaze raked critically over my form. “Or green, perhaps. Something deep and vivid to complement your light coloring. ”
“Sounds good to me,” I agreed. “Anything that I should avoid?”
“Hmm… yes.” I was taken aback as Luenki leaned in and lowered her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “You should avoid the king and queen as much as possible. The first prince as well, if you can. They will be greeting guests over the course of the evening, so it should not be difficult. It will be best if you stay close to me during the festivities.”
Of course. Because why would a party here be a chance for me to relax and enjoy myself for once? “Got it.” My chest tightened in a familiar way, and a sense of frustration and dread began to brew. Damn it all—couldn’t I catch a break? “I don’t suppose anyone would notice if I just hung out by the food for a while and then turned in early?”
“We shall see. You are a guest of our House, so it’s important that you are seen, but I may have the opportunity to make an excuse for you at some point. Though I hope that you will be able to enjoy yourself before it comes to that.”
I made a sound of agreement, but it came out more miserable than I had intended. Luenki slowed her steps, perhaps noticing the shift in my mood.
“You will be looked after,” she assured me with gentle confidence. I nodded, feeling a swell of gratitude for her supportive presence, and elected not to meet her eyes lest the waterworks start up. Her footsteps halted, and the hallway fell silent.
“Is there… something else I can do for you?”
Her question was so genuine that I almost poured my heart out then and there, but after everything she’d done for me, the last thing I wanted was to pass my worries onto her.
“No, no.” I took a deep breath and faced her with a smile on my face. “You’ve been so wonderful. I honestly don’t know what I would do without you.”
Luenki returned my smile, but her eyes continued to study me.
“Does Astonriel treat you well?” she surprised me by asking. Of course, my traitorous brain responded with memories of last night: the sight of Riel half naked in his room, his presence filling my doorway, and his confusing departure. The bath that followed.
“Oh, yes,” I said quickly. “He’s great. So nice. I mean, he’s a very professional teacher. Patient and… and knowledgeable. I’m learning a lot from him.” Internally, I couldn’t help but cringe. Real smooth, Avery. The word vomit will definitely throw her off the scent.
Luenki cocked her head. “I am glad,” she stated, her tone bright and innocent. “Although he has always been fascinated by humans, I will admit I initially found his interest in you curious. Even concerning. I am happy to hear he has not forgotten his place.”
It was a bait; I was sure of it. Nonetheless, I latched onto her words like a drowning man.
“What about his interest was… uh… curious?” I tried to be casual about it, but Luenki was giving me a knowing look, her eyes swimming with mirth. She knew Riel better than most, right? And she should understand where I’m coming from. Desperate to get my most recent dilemma off my chest, I dropped the pretense and started babbling. “Okay, here’s the thing. Respectfully, I find him attractive. I mean, he’s objectively hot, right? But I don’t know if the flirting is just something he does or if it means something. I just don’t want to misunderstand things and make an ass of myself. Do you think… I mean, you know him better than I do, right? Is he just being himself? Or is there something I’m missing?”
I had begun to cross into frantic territory toward the end of my spiel. After casting a glance down the hallway to be sure we were alone, Luenki stepped forward and grasped my hands in hers. “Breathe,” she ordered. I obeyed, sucking in a big breath. At her pointed look, I released a forceful exhale and repeated the calming motion.
“You are young,” Luenki remarked, drawing soothing circles on my hands with her thumbs. “When you are young, emotions are wild and strange. Nonetheless, you are their master.” She waited until my breathing had evened out before continuing. “I was not born here. When I was young, my parents both passed away, and the leading family took me in. I have known the second prince since he was barely able to stand upright, and he has always been kind, thoughtful, and well-mannered. But he appears to be more than that with you.”
“We’ve only known each other for a couple of months,” I said in a broken whisper.
“You spend every day in each other’s company,” Luenki pointed out. “I only know what I have observed, and that is that he rises early each morning in his eagerness to see you again. Whenever you are together, the two of you share smiles like old friends. It has been a long time since he has had someone so close to him, someone he can be at ease around.”
“It’s not like that,” I protested. “But… even if Riel does like me too, what do I do with that? We’re from two different worlds. It’s not like we can ride an avida off into the sunset, settle down in a nice cottage in the woods, and have beautiful magical babies together. Or… or live out our lives enjoying pi?a coladas on a beach in Bora Bora.”
Luenki blinked as she processed my words. “I cannot assume what your future may hold,” she hedged eventually. “But if this bothers you, I suggest you speak with him so that you may work out a solution together. You are clever and brave, Avery. Your heart is gentle, and your manner is kind. I cannot find fault with his interest.”
My cheeks warmed at her praise.
“Nor yours,” she added matter-of-factly. “He is, indeed, objectively hot.”
An unattractive snort of laughter burst out of me. “Hey, now, I called dibs,” I joked, pulling my hands from hers and giving my cheeks a quick pat to get the blood flowing again. It felt as though a heavy burden had been lifted from my shoulders. “Thanks, Luenki. I really needed to talk about this with someone.”
“I am happy to be of service,” Luenki responded with her signature grace and warm smile. She started walking again, and I followed, relief making my steps light. This event would be another matter entirely, but with a clear sense of direction now, I felt a little better equipped to cross that bridge.
We arrived at the elegant double doors of the banquet hall, with palace soldiers in white leather armor stationed on either side. I was surprised to see them indoors. Luenki nodded a greeting to the men as we approached, and they eyed me up and down but made no effort to respond. Perhaps like the other castle employees, they had been asked to leave me be.
Luenki paid them no mind, striding forward to set her palm on the wooden door above the handle. It swung open soundlessly, revealing a large room with a line of banquet tables covered in rich fabrics of every imaginable color and type. A tall, painted screen obstructed one corner at the far end of the room, and three ladies waited before it with armfuls of materials. They had been chatting but fell silent as Luenki and I entered.
“See if anything catches your eyes.” Luenki gestured broadly at the assortment of choices. “Take whatever you like. When it is your turn, we will show them to the clothier and she will design and fit your dress behind the screen.”
“Wait, like she sews the dresses on the spot?” I wasn’t sure I understood correctly. How was anyone supposed to create an entire custom dress in a day? And for more than one person?
Luenki examined a handful of shimmery sky-blue velvet. “With the Goddess’s blessing, anything is possible,” she remarked with a twinkle in her eye.
“Man, you guys give new meaning to fast fashion,” I muttered under my breath. Running my hand over a thick, patterned red-and-cream fabric, I thought about what I might like to wear. The idea of something vibrant appealed to me. If I was honest, having to wear a big, heavy ball gown did not. I’d had enough of those kinds of getups back at the White House.
I shifted a pile of burgundy fabric to the side to reveal a light, flowy material that was colored deep indigo with a slight sheen to it. The blue-purple color reminded me of the night, dark and mysterious. It wasn’t something they ever would have let me wear at the White House—they liked to put me in things that were bright, cheery, and innocent, like whites and pastels; things that suited my supposed image. I stroked the fabric thoughtfully.
A bolt of rich green was thrust into my line of sight as Luenki held it up to my shoulder. “This would be stunning,” she said, nodding approvingly.
“What about this?” I asked, lifting up the indigo fabric. Luenki set the green aside to examine it.
“Yes, I think this will do well,” she agreed. “Several layers, perhaps. With the right accompaniments. Let me…” I stepped back for her to gather up my selection, and then she was breezing past me to another table, which held a collection of accent fabrics, straps, gold and silver chains, lace, and other accessories.
I looked past her to the fitting area at the end of the room. The screen had been pushed aside, revealing a slim woman in layers of yellow examining her reflection in a floor-length mirror. Another shorter woman stood behind her, running her hand over the back of the gown with a length of extra fabric tucked into the crook of her arm. As I watched, a sash appeared in her hand as though it had sprung from her palm.
Of course. Magic.
Luenki came to my side, arms overflowing with items she’d collected. Full of wonder, I took the opportunity to examine her dress. I hadn’t noticed it before, but the piece was without a single visible seam. Fabric joined fabric as if adhered by glue.
“Magic really is convenient, isn’t it?” I mused aloud, returning my attention to the remarkable sight of a gown being formed before my eyes.
“A blessing,” Luenki concurred, seeing what I had noticed. She shifted on her feet to knock her elbow against mine, shaking me from my fixation on the clothier. “Come, let us join the line,” she suggested. I followed her toward the fitting area. As we approached, the two ladies who had been waiting changed their minds and rushed past us for the exit. I might have been insulted if I didn’t find their over-the-top reactions so ridiculous.
The clothier was finishing up with the lady in yellow, who examined her reflection appreciatively in the mirror. She said a few quick words that sounded like thanks and spun around, letting her gaze linger on me before inclining her head to Luenki and sweeping past us. The sound of the door shutting behind her reverberated in the room. With her other customers gone, the clothier’s attention turned to me, and I stiffened under her critical stare.
She was shorter than most of the fae I’d seen thus far, only a couple of inches taller than my 5’5”. Her hair was even lighter than Riel’s, just barely off-white, and smile lines accented her eyes. That got me wondering how many years had to pass before a fae started showing outward signs of old age. Luenki stepped forward, a greeting dropping from her lips. I echoed it.
After a moment, the clothier graced me with a small smile. She and Luenki began to speak in their language, and Luenki leaned in to show her the items she’d picked out. As they talked, I awkwardly studied the toe of my boot and shifted my weight from one foot to the other. Except for a term here and there, Riel always spoke to me in English, so I hadn’t been picking up the language at all. If I was honest, it was a little frustrating to not know what was going on.
The clothier flicked a hand in my direction, drawing my attention.
“Are you comfortable removing your clothes?” Luenki asked, turning toward me. “I can wait on the other side of the screen if you would prefer privacy.”
“Oh, yeah. No, you’re good, I have underwear on.” I went to undo the button on my jeans. The clothier tutted and moved to orient the screen so that we were hidden from view. Once I stood before the mirror in my mismatched, everyday-wear bra and panties, she began rifling through the pile of fabrics and accessories Luenki had selected.
The first piece she held up was a shiny dark gray. She started by wrapping that around my waist and having me hold it in place. Then, she added a layer of the indigo fabric I had picked out. She went around a few times with that one until there was a bit of poof to the skirt’s shape. When she pulled the bolt of fabric away, the cloth split effortlessly.
The next few minutes passed in a blur. She ran her hands around my hips to secure the skirts and then had me spread my arms while she fitted the bodice and sleeves. Every so often, she would check in with Luenki for directions. The fabric around my middle firmed up as she handled it, providing a structured waist and neckline. When the sleeves were complete, she attached finishing touches—midnight-black laces to close the back and delicate silver chains to line the neckline, wrists, and waist. Finally, she pulled out a box full of rhinestones and knelt to attach them to the bottom of my skirt.
When she straightened and stepped back, I felt like I was Cinderella, and my fairy godmother had just waved her wand over me. The result was significantly better than anything I could have come up with. The dress flattered what few curves I had, accentuating the dip of my waistline and the modest swell of my breasts. The dark color and silver accents lent an edgy feel that I loved. I would have never been allowed to wear this at the White House.
“Beautiful.” Luenki beamed as she adjusted the lay of my skirts with one hand.
“It’s gorgeous,” I breathed, admiring the way it sparkled when the stones on the skirt caught the light. I meant the words, but a part of me worried that it didn’t suit me. Big, floofy dresses had never been my style before, and now I was dressing myself, so I could choose what I wanted. A thought occurred to me, and I ducked my head sheepishly. “Is it too late to change a few things?”
Luenki translated for me, and the clothier shook her head with an accommodating smile. I explained what I envisioned, describing the best I could with words and a series of gestures. The clothier nodded along and played with the design while Luenki translated. A few minutes later, I couldn’t stop smiling at my reflection, even as my cheeks began to ache.
“Yes, it’s perfect,” I exclaimed, giddy with excitement. “Oh my God. It’s giving… moon goddess meets goth witch at a high school formal. I love it.”
“This is different,” Luenki said slowly, sounding uncertain.
“I never liked fancy dresses,” I admitted, still unable to drag my gaze away from the mirror. “I used to wear them for my healing sessions, and it was a headache more often than not. But this is perfect. If it’s not inappropriate, I’d like to wear this.”
“It is not inappropriate,” Luenki assured me. “It is not a style we have seen before, but it is a lovely idea to make it your own. Though… you may attract unwanted attention.”
I shrugged and swayed back and forth, admiring the outfit as it moved with me. That was something to consider, but I’d have to get over my fears eventually. And what I felt looking at my reflection in the mirror—not to mention embracing my freedom and doing what I wanted for a change—that was more valuable right now.
No matter what, I wanted to enjoy this feeling as long as I could.