16. The Confession
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
THE CONFESSION
I braced myself as Riel resumed speaking.
“From the moment I saw you, I wanted to know you,” he admitted in a low voice, sending the butterflies scattering. My eyes flicked upward hesitantly, hopefully, but he still looked away from me. “At first, it was innocent intrigue. The existence of a Goddess-blessed human goes against our teachings. But you were so… genuine. I understood why you’d been given Her blessing. You put others before yourself—strangers, even. It’s incredibly foolish.”
I frowned and opened my mouth to defend myself, but he cut me off before I could.
“I’ve never met someone like you before,” he confessed. “Someone who doesn’t pretend to be something else. Someone who’s willing to set their own wants aside to do what’s right, no matter how uncomfortable. Someone who’s willing to share their own secrets to put those around them at ease. During the time we’ve spent together, I’ve watched you try your hardest to make the best of things, putting your whole heart into everything you do. Somewhere along the way, I realized that I wanted to be on the receiving end of that.
“Our lessons are more than just lessons for me, Avery. Of course, I want to help you—don’t ever doubt that. But the more I learn about you, the more I want to know. Our respective situations do make things complicated, but I hope that we can overlook that. I hope that we can continue to speak on equal terms and get to know each other further. And… if the Goddess has willed that you feel the same in regard to me, I hope that you will allow me to court you. Perhaps, someday, we might be able to be more than we are now.”
Shit. My eyes were getting moist, and I couldn’t blame these feelings on the wine.
“That’s…” How do I even respond to a confession like that? “That’s very nice,” I said weakly, cursing myself as soon as the words left my mouth. I cleared my throat to dislodge the lump there and tried again. “I’m… I do feel the same way. I want to get to know you. To keep getting to know you, I mean. I would like to be more with you.”
When Riel didn’t say anything more, I chanced another glance his way. His eyes were closed—whether in pain or relief, I couldn’t tell. He muttered something under his breath before opening his eyes and turning back to me. Some of the tension had left his body.
That is, until a female voice purred, “The blessed human! Riel, introduce us?”
I stiffened, all the fuzzy, warm feelings gone in an instant, and my attention snapped to the woman approaching us. She was about as tall as Luenki and held every inch of herself with grace and poise. Her dress was a stunning mass of silver and white that clung to her form unlike any other in the room, and her blond hair was coiled around her head and finished off with a silver circlet. Over her dress, she wore a metal accessory not unlike Riel’s corset, except that hers went from her neck to her ribs, decorating her breasts and shoulders. She also had piercings on the bridge of her nose and both cheeks.
Riel’s hand touched my lower back, startling me—I hadn’t noticed him come to my side. “Mother,” he said in an even tone. I stiffened further, suddenly regretting all that wine. “This is Avery Nelson, the Goddess-blessed human from Washington, D.C. Avery, this is Elokima, Lady of the House Wysalar, the Right Hand of the Goddess, and… my mother.”
“At last!” Elokima exclaimed, fitting her forearms on top of each other and bowing. I quickly mimicked the action, sending up a silent prayer to whatever powers that be that I wasn’t making an utter fool of myself. “It is such a pleasure to finally make your acquaintance,” she continued. “My son has been doing his best to keep you hidden away.” Her words were friendly, but the look she directed at Riel made me nervous.
“The pleasure is all mine,” I said quickly, hoping to keep things light. “It’s such an honor to finally meet you. Ah… Riel’s told me so much about you. Thank you for your hospitality these past few weeks. I’ve been having such a blast, and I’ve learned so much. And your English is so good! Everyone speaks such great English here. It’s really impressive…”
Elokima tittered, interrupting me just as I’d begun to spiral. “Aren’t you a sweet thing?” Assessing eyes swept over me from head to toe, lingering on the glass in my hand and the legs of my romper/dress. I kept a smile pasted on my face in hopes that it hid my crumbling nerves.
“How are you enjoying our celebration?” she asked, her gaze returning to mine. Something about her expression bothered me. Was it just my imagination? I couldn’t shake the feeling that if I gave the wrong response, I was going to be eaten alive.
So I turned up the charm, the same way I did when I was meeting a dignitary that was “very important.” “I’m having so much fun,” I gushed, focusing on keeping my hand steady and my smile genuine. “The music is fabulous, and the wine is delicious. We don’t have a lot of events like these where I come from, and it’s such a shame. Then again, I’m sure our efforts would pale in comparison to yours. You make an exceptional host. ”
Elokima chuckled again. “Be sure to try the food, if you haven’t already,” she suggested, inclining her head in farewell before turning away. “Enjoy.”
“Thanks, you too!”
As she drifted off, I whirled about to face Riel. “That was awful,” I hissed, my shoulders slouching with misery. “Wasn’t that awful?”
“Far from it,” Riel remarked as he watched his mother disappear into the crowd. His hand returned discreetly to my back. “You did fine. That went about as well as could be expected.”
Just then, my nape tingled with the sensation of being watched. Somehow, my eyes caught surly sapphire ones through the tangle of bodies between us. Solois stood on the other side of the room, his back rigid and his expression tight as he observed Riel and me. Riel noticed him at about the same time I did and snatched his hand away as though I’d burned him. It bothered me, but I could understand where he was coming from—he probably didn’t want his brother to see how close we were. That would raise tricky questions.
“I need to mingle,” he murmured apologetically. “Go to Luenki. I’ll find you soon.”
“Okay,” I agreed, trying to keep the disappointment out of my voice. “But you’re going to have some explaining to do later.”
“I will,” he promised. He looked like he wanted to say something else. “Later,” he ground out instead, the tension and frustration returning in force.
Not wanting to leave things like that after such an emotional breakthrough, I sidled closer and reached between us to pinch his sleeve in a way I hoped conveyed my affection for him. “Whatever’s going on, things will work out,” I said softly, only just resisting the urge to give him a hug. “They always do, one way or another.”
“I truly hope you’re right.” Riel breathed a sigh brimming with unsaid words and inclined his head before striding off in the direction his mother had gone.
I finished off my—fourth? Fifth?—glass of wine and, deciding that was plenty, opted to refill it from a pitcher of water instead. Then, I took the queen’s advice to explore the food tables. I didn’t recognize everything that was there, but it all looked delicious. One table featured a spread of petite sweets in all manner of shapes, while another bore savory finger foods.
Once I’d had my fill, I was off to find Luenki. I circled the massive room twice before I found her chatting away with another fae woman by one of the pillars. Not wanting to interrupt their conversation, I hung out awkwardly nearby. When her companion moved on, Luenki turned her attention to me as though she had known I was there the entire time.
“How is the prince?” she asked knowingly.
“Ooh, things are… things are something, that’s for sure.” I shook my head, not having the words to sum up what had happened. “I met his mom,” I offered.
Luenki’s lips drew together in a tight line.
“It went well,” I was quick to clarify, not wanting her to think the worst. “Or, as well as can be expected, Riel said. I figure I can take his word for it.”
Luenki made a sound of agreement, though she didn’t appear convinced. “I am glad. If we are lucky, she will not feel the need to approach you again.”
“Is she that disagreeable?”
Luenki’s head cocked as she considered her response. “Not disagreeable,” she hedged. “But she is wary of outsiders. Our leading family is responsible for the protection of our people, after all. There is much at stake at any given time.” One hand indicated the people around us.
“Sure, I get that.”
If it was anything like being president, being queen probably came with a host of annoying responsibilities, from mundane things like paperwork and blessing babies to high-stakes duties like drafting treaties and ordering missile strikes. Or… whatever the equivalent was here, anyway. Did they have missiles? Magic ones?
“Well, I’m not about to let them bring my mood down.” I proclaimed, rolling my shoulders back and extending an arm out to Luenki. “May I have this dance?”
Eyes twinkling, Luenki accepted my offer, and we joined the other revelers on the dance floor. After an hour or so of chatting and dancing with Luenki, Riel came to find us. By then, my buzz had faded, but I’d managed to resist the lure of the wine table. The three of us danced together for a little while longer before I had to call it quits.
“That’s enough action for one day,” I wheezed, putting my hands on my knees to catch my breath. “I think… I think I’ll head back to my room now, if it’s not too early.”
“If you like,” Luenki agreed. Her forehead shone with the faint sheen of perspiration under the light of the sconces, but other than that, she showed no signs of physical exertion. And rather than detract from her appearance, it only made her glow all the more. Ridiculous. “You have more than fulfilled your obligation. It is doubtful anyone would notice if you slipped out.”
“Let me walk you to your room,” Riel offered, ever the gentleman. Excitement sparked at the thought that we could continue our conversation from before.
“Is that okay?” I murmured, not wanting to get him in any trouble. “It won’t cause any problems if they see you leaving with me…?”
Luenki examined the platform where the musicians sat with their instruments. “I will make sure that their eyes are elsewhere,” she said, a hint of mischief in her voice.
I could only watch, baffled, as she whirled about and strode past several dancers to interrupt the performers before the next song began playing. Mounting the two wide steps in a graceful bound, she took up a position in front and addressed the crowd in a booming voice.
“‘We are grateful for the safe return of Ralif, Second of His Name, Lord of the Northern House Wysalar, Guardian of the Goddess’s Chosen,’” Riel translated for me in a low voice as he gathered my arm to lead me from the room. “‘May the Goddess continue to smile upon our leading family, and their reign deliver us greener pastures and brighter days.’”
On our way up the steps to the living quarters, one of the stringed instruments started playing. Its sweet music and an angelic voice combined to fill the room with an emotional ballad. I looked back to see Luenki seated where one of the musicians had been, her mouth open in song. She played a large stringed instrument that resembled a horizontal harp.
I turned back to Riel with wide eyes.
“Our ambassador is a woman of many talents,” he said, smiling at my surprise.
“So it would seem! Man, you think you know someone.”
“She is competent with a blade as well.”
“Are you serious? She can fight too?”
“Having a diplomatic attitude is important in matters of foreign policy, but it is equally critical to choose someone who can handle themselves in a fight should anything go wrong.”
“I… suppose so.” I couldn’t help but feel a touch of envy. Apparently, it was obvious on my face, because Riel felt the need to highlight some of her flaws.
“She’s a shameless cheat at several games, however. And she loves to make sweets, but has no talent for it. She refuses to follow the recipes; it’s nothing short of complete chaos.”
“Well, not everybody can be as perfect as you.” A grin took over my face.
“Indeed.” Riel mirrored my smile. We arrived at my door then, despite the way I’d been subconsciously dragging my feet to prolong the walk. I hesitated to reach for the handle when I still had so many questions .
“Would you, uh… would you like to come in?” I dared to ask.
“I shouldn’t.” Riel’s voice was so near, I could practically feel his presence at my back.
When I turned to face him, it took me a moment to register how close he was. Only a few inches separated us. I pressed my back against the door in an attempt to give myself some breathing room, and he looked down at me with such a fond expression that my pulse sped up. When he didn’t make a move like I expected, I moistened my lips and ventured another question.
“You… you said you wanted to court me. What does that mean, exactly?”
Riel was quiet. “What would you like it to be?” he asked.
“It’s not fair to answer a question with a question,” I pointed out, raising my eyebrows and pursing my lips in a pout. He flashed me another arresting grin.
“It should be illegal to be that pretty,” I muttered, turning my head so that I didn’t have to see his face. “I guess… I guess I need some things cleared up before I can answer that. But I don’t think things need to be all that different. I like how it’s been between us so far, and I’d like it if it stays that way. Instead of getting awkward, you know.”
“I’d like that too,” Riel responded softly. “As for the answers I owe you… I’m still finding some things out, I’m afraid. What I can tell you is that my family has some concerns about whether or not your nation—and you—can be trusted.
“I have told them that these concerns are unfounded,” he assured me just as I opened my mouth to interject, “but they can be stubborn. I didn’t want them to do anything rash out of a belief that you are somehow manipulating me, so I thought it wise to turn my attention somewhere else for a while. Believe me when I say that it was difficult to leave you alone.”
My mouth closed with an audible snap , and a swell of pity swept through me .
“I’m still keeping a close eye on my parents and brother,” he continued. “As of right now, they’re still considering their next move, but I’m doing everything I can to stay one step ahead. Your well-being is my top priority. When I have more information, I’ll start working on a plan.”
“Oh my God,” I breathed, instantly thinking the worst. “Do—shouldn’t we tell someone? Vivian and George and the rest of them, they should probably be?—”
My hands flapped about in the air, echoing my racing thoughts.
“Luenki knows.” Riel snatched up my hands and held them. “Since things are still undecided, I think it’s best that your government stays out of this for now. If this develops into a real threat, we will address it then, but I’d rather not involve them if we can help it.”
I nodded slowly. “I trust you,” I whispered, adjusting my hands to squeeze his in return. But was staying silent some kind of treason?
Riel leaned in to press a soft kiss to my jawline, distracting me just as I’d begun to question if that was the right move and consider the possible consequences. I sucked in a breath as my inappropriate fantasy from a few days ago sprang to mind.
“Thank you,” he mumbled into my neck before resting his head on my shoulder. I stood frozen, hesitant to even breathe for fear of disrupting the moment. After a beat, I worked one hand out of his to reach up and tentatively caress the nape of his neck. His hair was like silk, and I was in the perfect position to admire his ear adornments more closely.
“I’ve been meaning to say so, but I like your piercings,” I murmured.
Unprompted, my mind’s eye flashed back to the day I’d caught him half-dressed. Were his ears and his nipples all that were pierced? And, come to think of it, how come his nipple piercings didn’t show through any of his lovely shirts? Was that also some kind of magic ?
“Thank you. I did them myself.”
I blinked in surprise.
“You did them yourself?” I repeated to make sure I had heard him right. He nodded.
“Traditionally, those with a primary affinity for changing magic, like myself, used jewelry as a way to carry metal with them in case it was ever needed for defense. Nowadays, it’s just a fashion, I suppose. My grandfather had many piercings, and I always used to admire them as a child. It was one of the first things I did when I came of age.”
“That’s crazy. I mean, doing it yourself. Plenty of people get piercings where I come from too, but we go to shops and have it done by professionals.”
I almost reached up to trace the beckoning point of one silver ear tip but remembered myself and drew my hand back before it made contact. “They’re beautiful. I wanted to get my ears pierced as a kid but never got the chance to.”
Riel studied my face, perhaps gauging my sincerity. “I could do it for you,” he suggested. “If you like.”
Maybe I still rode an emotional high from our conversation earlier, or maybe I had underestimated the influence of all that fae wine, but his offer appealed to me. Hell, I was a girl with magical healing powers dating an alien prince in a fantasy land. What was getting my ears pierced on top of that? Another thought occurred to me—I made my own choices here… what if I didn’t stop at my ears? What if I did something else entirely?
“You would?” I imagined little silver hoops donning my own nipples and felt the need to moisten my lips. The buzz of anticipation set off a tingle under my bodice.
“How is your pain tolerance?” Riel asked then.
“Uh… average, I guess?”
“Humans seem to be rather delicate creatures. If piercings are still common among your people, I imagine you wouldn’t have an issue, but it can be painful. ”
“Oh, please.” I waved away his concern. “Nobody’s that delicate. A little needle prick is nothing.”
Riel raised one platinum eyebrow, and the dare was written on his face. I drew my shoulders back and raised my chin in reply.
“Let’s do it,” I declared.
“Tonight?” His eyebrow stayed raised.
“Fine, tonight,” I agreed, not wanting to risk the chance of second-guessing myself. That sexy smirk made an appearance in response to my enthusiasm, and my heart sped up.
“It’s settled,” Riel decided. He glanced toward the end of the hall, then back to me. “I have to go back now, but come to my room after the sun sets.” His fingers caressed the shell of my ear, tucking a strand of hair behind it. “We’ll find something nice for those pretty, round ears of yours.”
“Okay,” I said over the sound of my heartbeat. “See you then.”
“See you then,” Riel echoed. With one last blinding smile, he left to rejoin the party, leaving me at my door. My legs became noodles, prompting me to lean most of my weight against the jamb and focus on catching my breath. My head whirled. I felt like I’d been injected with elation, but at the same time…
What did I just agree to?