Chapter 29 #2
‘I’m sorry I had to go. Someone was coming back to the house.
Someone I didn’t want to see. But, anyway, that’s in the past. I’m another person here and it’s all good.
’ She sat down at the table, as the scant afternoon light came in through the basement window, diffusing round her face.
‘Tom, I think you want me to help you find Teddy. But I can’t. ’
‘I know where she is. But I don’t want to go up there out of the blue. You know her, don’t you?’
‘Yes.’
‘She knows you.’
‘Of course.’
‘Okay!’ He clapped his hands, smiling. ‘Alice, look. I wanted to ask you if you could telephone her, tell her about me, find out if she’d like me to go up there.’
‘Why?’ she said, her voice gentle. ‘I don’t understand why you have to go up there.’
In his pocket he felt for the ring. He had been carrying it since he left the UK, like Frodo Baggins. Where should he start? How?
Teddy is my mother. She met my father during the war. They had an affair. My father was married to someone else. He opened his mouth, then shut it. It wasn’t the right time.
‘I have to give her something. Something important. I’m the only person who can give it to her. Can you help me? Will you call her for me?’
She tore off a piece of bagel. ‘I can’t, sorry.’
‘You can’t?’
‘She’s away. She goes away every winter, to Miami, and she doesn’t come back till – till May.’
He peered forwards, to try to see her expression, but he couldn’t. ‘Miami?’
‘Yes, she’s – got a – a house there. It’s right on South Beach. The place upstate is shut up in winter. So I could call, but there wouldn’t be anyone there. And, if you write, someone else might open the letter and –’
‘Oh,’ said Tom, crestfallen. ‘No, I wouldn’t want them doing that. Oh.’ He looked around the kitchen, not quite sure what to do next. ‘That’s fine. I might just hang on in New York until May – will you let me know, when she’s back? From Miami?’
He could feel her eyes on his. ‘Yes, sure,’ she said. ‘Sure. Listen – why don’t you stay a couple weeks? Since you came all this way. You could explore the city. Hang out.’
‘Where?’
‘Here. You can stay here, okay? But just a couple of weeks or until you find a place. You can sleep in Ginger’s room, or on the couch if Ginger’s here.’
‘Who’s Ginger?’
‘I met her at the poster shop I work in. She waits tables in a club on Bleecker too. Sometimes she’s in Brooklyn but if her boyfriend’s drunk she’s here.’ She looked him over again. ‘She actually pays Jack rent, unlike the rest of us. She was here earlier – hey – that’s her. Hey, Ginger.’
The kitchen door banged open and a flame-haired girl sloped into the room.
She picked up a mug on the table and drank heavily from it, seemingly not caring what was in it, then wiped her mouth.
‘Hey,’ she said, and gave Alice a hug. ‘Hey, brother,’ she said, turning to Tom. She hugged him too. ‘Good to see you.’
‘This is Tom; he’s from England,’ said Alice.
‘England!’ said Ginger McKenzie in an exaggerated fashion. She had on false eyelashes and a load of thick eyeliner, but she gave him a friendly smile. ‘Hey, baby.’
‘He’s cool,’ Alice said. ‘He’ll stay in your room if you’re not using it – is that okay?’
‘Cool,’ said Ginger. She leaned against the table. ‘Hey, Alice honey. Merlin wants a beer.’
‘Sure, sorry,’ said Alice. ‘I’ll get it now.’
She turned and walked past Tom. His headache had stopped; he was no longer dizzy; the black spots in his vision had gone; and she was a few feet away, her hair out of her face, and he saw her properly for the first time.
For the rest of his life he remembered that first sight of her.
He actually inhaled sharply, as though he’d been punched.
She had one tiny dark mole below her left eye, almost heart-shaped.
Her eyes were blue-green, fringed with thick dark brown lashes, and curiously far apart; her brows were dark.
Her wide, rather flat face was serious, her expression almost blank, as though she were holding herself back, but when she smiled, as she did briefly as she passed him by, her beautiful eyes shone, apples appeared in her cheeks and a dimple formed on the left side of her face, and, oh, it was like the sun breaking through clouds after a storm.
She was possibly the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen.
He frowned, embarrassed, aware that he was blushing.
‘So, hey, Tom,’ Ginger said. ‘You can have my room tonight. I’m working then I’m in Brooklyn. It’s the first floor, at the back.’
‘Can I pay you? I’m probably going to get a job and then I can –’
But she stopped him, shaking her head. ‘It’s cool.
Make it right sometime. Don’t worry, Tom.
Peace, and love.’ She gave him a kiss on the lips and left, trailing a scent of pot, cigarettes and sweat with her.
Tom sank back into the chair. He stared up at the red plastic flowers draped around the fizzing, swaying light bulb.
He could hear the sounds of Alice laughing with Merlin, someone coughing, police sirens.
‘Well, I’m here now,’ he said.
He told himself it was fine that he had no idea what came next. He hadn’t known the other times either.
Hey Dolo
Thanks about the posters. I drew a new poster for a women’s group that meets in the church on Astor Place. I got JOIN OUR FRIENDLY COVEN in newspaper print again and put it against a background of pine trees like witches’ hats. I’ll save you one.
Your date with the bartender sounds neat.
I think a guy who one day could own a bar is a good person to know.
Can you please write me and tell me how the next date goes.
I didn’t mean to be rude about him – I just think a guy who is at Beauty School training to be a beautician is maybe not a guy who likes girls that way.
Yes, I think you look cute in jeans and I think flares would suit you.
No, I don’t think you should cut all your hair off – I don’t think you are a Mia Farrow kinda gal.
Yes, I love Lady Madonna, it is definitely in my top five of their songs.
Dolo, I wish I could talk to you. There’s a guy who’s turned up asking questions about Teddy.
He’s called Tom and he’s from England. I spoke to him on the day I left – he called Valhalla, but thank God he didn’t get through when they were there.
He wants to meet Teddy, to talk to her. I don’t know why he wants to meet her. No one goes to see Teddy.
Anyway, I lied to him, Dolo. I said she was in Miami for the winter and wouldn’t be back for a while.
It just came into my head. I have never lied before!
!!!! I pray he doesn’t know hurricane season starts there in a few weeks.
I don’t want him asking questions, but most of all I’m scared, Dolo.
I’m afraid if I tell him about her and how to get there that something bad will happen to Teddy; most of all I’m scared my mom and Him will find out where I am and make me go back there, and I’ll end up like her. Like I’ll be trapped.
I’m free here. I won’t go back, Dolo. I will die rather than go back . I’ve seen what they did to her. My dad explained it once. He was her only friend. I wonder how my dad could stand to stay there knowing what happened. But maybe it’s what made it so hard for him?
So I’m putting him off, this guy Tom, I mean. I said he could stay a couple weeks and I’ll work out what to do.
I can’t believe I lied. He is a really nice guy, Dolo.
He has something wrong with his eye. He has a nice face, dark eyes; his hair is really thick, and he’s kind of broad-shouldered but not a beefcake, you know?
He has a sort of Jim Morrison vibe but darker.
Also, he is kind. Really kind. I hate lying to him.
I have started biting my nails again (my mom would be so mad).
Two postcards – I will have to get an envelope. I’m going to dash to catch the mail. All my love, Dolo – come and see me in the city if you can? I miss you.
Allie xx