20
Cody
Although a chilly day, Pepper River looked fresh and inviting, and the spruced-up kiosk for the Boat Hut appeared ready to open to the public. Large fluffy clouds floated slowly in the light-grey sky, as the end of October had approached.
Cody knew his grandfather’s old hut would no longer be used for the business his brother was set on rebooting, but it still sparked so much joy just staring at the wooden shed.
With Heath’s help, Cody had restored the building so it was good enough to remain and secure enough to use as storage.
Cody sat outside, wrapped in a padded coat and blue scarf, simply staring at what used to be his life. He could hear the laughter of his mother and see his grandad selling tickets and helping customers into the boats.
Why does everything have to change?
His mood had been all over the place since staying at Willow’s, and his only theory was it had to be because he was so close to home. Memories were flooding him from all angles, bringing a lump to his throat and stinging his eyes.
Cody had hated the day Zach rehomed him in London, not understanding why his brother couldn’t just carry on as normal. It took years for him to come to terms with the decision, and having Willow remain in his life helped more than she would ever know.
Missing his mum never faded, but he had learned to live with her not being around. He often felt she was watching over him. He only wished he could be in her arms for one more snuggle.
Cody gazed up at the sky, feeling ever so deflated and worn through.
Oh, what the hell is wrong with me lately?
Receiving another rejection that morning on his board game really wasn’t helping raise his vibe. He’d seriously had enough of that dream.
Maybe I should run off with the circus .
Lance had made the offer, stating Cody would make a splendid edition to the theatre group. The pitch was on point, adding in the opportunity to travel the country and make a name for himself, which was only tempting because Cody was sure if he was famous his board game would be snapped up.
A travelling show wasn’t for him, and now he figured the world of gaming wasn’t either. There were more companies he could reach out to, but he wasn’t sure his spirit could take any more slaps. He really wasn’t cut out for the harshness of competition, only now realising his skin was as thin as rice paper.
Cody flopped his head into his hands and roared, thinking no one was around to hear his cry of frustration.
‘Oi! What’s wrong with you?’
He shot up to see Zach walking towards him. A lone ray of straining sunlight peeked out from the clouds to highlight his brother in a dusky blue hue, casting a ghostly shadow close to the bridge, and Cody’s brain took a few seconds to wake up and realise it wasn’t an apparition he was witnessing.
‘Zach?’
Jeans and a dark wool-blend coat lessened Zach’s usual suited serious look that Cody was used to seeing. Whenever his brother lost the suit, he’d become more human and relatable, so Cody thought. But even without the shiny shoes and stylish tie, Zach still oozed authority in every step. Something Cody wished he could muster up from time to time.
Throughout Cody’s childhood, Zach had stood strong, bringing nothing but stability and security to the table, and always making sure his little brother knew what love looked like.
Seeing Zach whilst feeling so low brought Cody to his feet, sprinting over to grab him into a bear hug. Without warning, his breath hitched, and he shuddered into Zach’s hold.
It was all too much, the highs and lows he was experiencing lately, missing the life he once had, being rejected in areas he wanted to succeed, seeing Willow kissing an idiot, kissing her himself, then his brother showing up just when he needed a hug.
Cody sobbed, and it seemed needed, as he started to feel the relief immediately.
‘Hey, hey,’ whispered Zach, holding him tightly. ‘What’s all this?’
Zach wasn’t just his big brother. With fifteen years difference between them, he was more of a father. He had been there for him, raised him, took full guardianship, paid his way, even read him bedtime stories when he was a kid.
‘I’m just having a moment,’ said Cody, with a slight laugh into Zach’s coat.
‘Come on, let’s sit down.’
Cody peeled himself away and went to fetch another chair from the hut. ‘I don’t know what came over me. I’m all right. Honest.’
The breeze blew through Zach’s light-brown hair, causing him to rake it back into position. He sat by Cody’s side and smiled softly. ‘Life can get to us at times. You overwhelmed lately?’
Cody nodded. ‘A bit.’
‘Here.’ Zach handed him a tissue from his coat pocket. ‘Blow your nose, snotty.’
Cody chuckled as he cleared his sinuses. ‘I wasn’t expecting you till tomorrow.’
‘I thought I’d take a couple of days. Watch your play, check this place out while I’m here, see if I can spot anything else that needs fixing.’ He motioned towards the hut. ‘That looks good. Grandad would be pleased.’
Cody smiled. That’s what he thought too. ‘You didn’t really have to come here for the play. It’s no big deal.’
Zach tapped Cody’s boot with his own. ‘It is a big deal. You’re in it.’
‘I’m not the main star.’
‘Doesn’t matter.’
Cody knew that but always felt the need to tell his brother he didn’t need to go above and beyond for him, even though he secretly loved always having him around, especially as he didn’t have a father, as his dad had left his mum when she was pregnant with him.
‘Talk to me, Code.’
Cody saw piercing blue eyes peering into his soul, studying each and every movement his face made. He never could hide from Zach. ‘I feel all over the place and can’t seem to figure out exactly where I belong.’
‘Too many roads, not enough direction.’
Cody shrugged. ‘Maybe.’
‘There’s no maybe about it. You need to pick a lane.’
Willow sprung to mind. She was the only road home, as far as he was concerned, but that had nothing to do with work, and that was Zach’s angle, he was certain.
‘I like what I’m doing now. I don’t feel tied to one job and I’m happy.’
‘But?’
‘But, I feel bad that I’ve wasted three years and all that money on a degree I’m not using.’
‘Yeah, you and a million others.’ Zach sat forward. ‘Look, there are so many people who don’t go into a career linked to their degree. Not only is it sometimes way too hard to get a foot in the door, sometimes you simply change your mind about what you want to do or something else gets in the way. Don’t stress this.’
‘But you’re paying off my student loan.’
‘We’re paying it off together. So what? Let’s not focus on that part. Let’s just get you sorted now.’
Cody sighed deeply. ‘But I know you had your hopes set on me becoming a businessman.’
‘Not really. I just know it will come in handy whatever road you go down. Business skills are a must in all walks of life, from a weekly household budget to running a market stall to filling out tax accounts. It’s everywhere. And now you are covered in that area. So, what skills do I need to install in you now?’
Cody breathed out a laugh through his nose. ‘You training me to be a grown up?’
‘I’ve always trained you to cope on your own. You can cook, can’t you?’
‘Yep.’
‘Use a washing machine?’
‘Yes.’
‘Know how to spot a scam when you see one?’
Cody grinned. ‘I think Old Marv taught me that when we lived next door to him.’
Zach laughed. ‘Can’t beat a con artist to teach you a thing or two.’
The first flat they’d rented in London was so damp and draughty, Cody was sure the fungi growing up the walls would be how he died. Most of the neighbours were high as a kite, and police visits to the block were a frequent occurrence, especially to Old Marv. As soon as Zach got his first promotion, they were off to another part of town and an apartment that lacked mushrooms.
‘What’s really messing with your head, Cody?’
‘Willow,’ he admitted quietly.
‘Have you finally fallen for her?’
Cody widened his eyes. ‘What do you mean, finally?’
‘I expected you two to get together in your mid-teens, if I’m honest. You know, once all the hormones kicked in and suddenly she’s not the girl you just want to play football with anymore.’
Cody laughed. ‘We’d still have a kickabout if there was a ball around, but no, that didn’t happen to us then. I think it might be happening to us now.’
‘And you’re keeping quiet about your feelings?’
‘Pretty much.’ Cody raised his palms. ‘What am I supposed to say to her? She’s my best mate. We’re so close, I can’t mess with that.’
Zach shoved his hands into his pockets and sat back, huddling his chin into his coat. ‘Do you think she feels the same?’
‘I’m starting to. Things have definitely changed, but I don’t know. We haven’t spoken about it or anything.’
‘If you can’t find your words, then how about showing her how you feel.’
Cody thought back to their stage kisses. Could she tell what he was feeling during that first kiss? Their second kiss was so short and cold, he was sure if he gave out any signals beforehand, that moment swiped them away, but he couldn’t bear her on his mouth whilst wanting it to be real.
‘What you thinking, Code?’
‘I have to kiss her again tomorrow night for the show. Our dress rehearsal ones didn’t exactly go… well.’
‘I once burped when I was about to kiss a girl. Not sure that will ever leave me.’
Cody laughed at the thought of his calm and composed brother having to deal with that issue. At least he hadn’t embarrassed himself in that way. ‘I had the idea to kiss her for real on the night. Show her I mean it, but she wouldn’t know, would she? Because I’m supposed to kiss her like I mean it.’
‘How about you opt for something simple, like a bunch of flowers.’
‘You do know she owns half the flowers on the Isle of Wight, right?’
Zach smiled. ‘Okay, maybe skip the flowers, but something that’s not linked to the show, that way there won’t be any confusion.’
‘This is all too difficult. I’d rather bury my head in the sand. It’s easier.’
‘It’ll get you nowhere.’
‘If Willow doesn’t want more for us, then at least it will save my dignity.’
‘Give it a shot.’
‘Not sure I should take advice on relationships from you, Zach. You don’t do serious.’
‘I haven’t got time. I work twenty-four seven. I’m at the hotel more than the flat.’
‘What happened to that thing about work-life balance you always taught me?’
‘I can do that once I’m back here where we belong. See, you do belong somewhere. Pepper Bay is our home. I’m making the money we need to sort everything. Not long now.’
‘I can chip in.’
Zach flashed his perfect smile, which Cody knew drew women to him like bees to honey, but his brother was work focused so they never stood much of a chance. Zach Sullivan was a man on a mission, and Cody admired his focus. ‘It’s all in hand. You just concentrate on finding your tongue again, because talking to Willow is probably your best bet.’
‘You could mention something while you’re here. Are you staying at Fran’s?’
Zach laughed. ‘You want me to be your wingman now?’ He shook his head. ‘No, I’m not involving myself, and no, I’m booked in at the new B&B.’
‘I just meant you could accidently on purpose let something slip about me liking her.’
‘I think liking her is putting it mildly, and perhaps it would be best if you accidently on purpose told her the truth.’
Or I can kiss her like I mean it tomorrow night. I’m totally doing it. I have to. She’ll see. Everyone will see. Oh great, I can’t do it. Her parents will be watching. Zach will be watching. How the bloody hell do I get myself into these things? Flipping heck!