Incident 5 Welcome to My Lair #2
“I kind of want to say yes. Just to watch the show.” Ross had never seen a room full of adults so abashed before.
After the incident with Dunham getting turned into the pound and Ross’s subsequent passing out from exhaustion, Glenn had decided to have words with the clan.
Even Ross had felt guilty, and the lecture had mostly been for his sake.
Glenn hadn’t been happy Ross hadn’t put his foot down before that point, but he mostly blamed his clan for not acting like the adults they were and being responsible.
Their habit of shoving most of the responsibility onto Ross had irritated the master vampire and he’d had many, many words to say about it.
Glenn edged in closer by a few inches, eyes burnished gold in the dimmer lighting. “Is that right? Did it so amuse you?”
Ross found himself leaning a little in return, wetting dry lips as a soft thrill chased its way under his skin. Glenn’s gaze dropped to follow the motion, that hint of hunger deepening.
“Amuse isn’t the word I’d use.” Ross had been incredibly touched, in fact, that Glenn thought so much of him to be that angry.
That protective. And seeing Glenn in full orator mode had given Ross chills again.
He’d had the worst time stilling the urge to grab Glenn, haul him into some deserted room, and ‘thank’ him properly. Alpha males really were his weakness.
“Stop flirting, please!” Annabella called to them. “We’re past time, let’s open the doors!”
Glenn’s smile flattened into a Not-Amused-Frowny-Face. “I will do something evil to her later.”
“I’ll help.” Ross felt just as irritated. “But for now, let’s get those doors open before we have unhappy people outside.”
Glenn’s expression was resigned. “If we must. Annabella, the doors!”
The first group through was the usual mix.
There were the horror junkies, eager for a thrill.
With them were the scaredy cats who had somehow gotten dragged into this.
A few were on dates, the guys eager for the girls to scream and jump into their arms. Ross saw one gay couple holding hands in a death grip and looking at each other as if they weren’t sure whose idea this was but it suddenly looked like a poor life decision.
Probably just as well Ross had an EMT crew standing by.
After they paid their entrance fee, a group of four approached the curtain. Glenn fell into character and intoned, “Welcome. For those brave enough to enter, approach the curtain.”
Ross stepped to the side, as if to draw the curtain back.
And that’s when their pale zashiki warashii in her white gown, dark hair deliberately styled to come over her face, popped out. She crouched on all fours, head tilted at an unnatural angle as she looked up at the nearest people.
Then she smiled.
Even the adrenaline junkies jumped, and ones not good with horror let out a piercing scream.
“We didn’t start yet!” one man complained in a high, panicked tone. “We didn’t even fucking start yet!”
Giggling—Akari was enjoying this far too much—she slunk back into the darkness beyond the curtain.
Just to up the ante, one of the werewolves let out a plaintive howl from somewhere in the maze.
A few faces went white, the already nervous people alarmed by what they’d gotten themselves into. Ross swept an arm to indicate the right. “We have a waiting room prepared for anyone who wishes to sit and wait for their party to finish.”
He’d actually meant that as a sincere warning and an offer to sit this one out. People took it as a challenge instead, as if Ross had said ‘anyone too chicken can sit over there.’ Even the people scared got their backs up and marched right in.
Ross watched the first go through with a shake of the head. Well, he’d tried.
“This isn’t—this isn’t bad—” one of the men started.
A high-pitched scream, sounding strangled, cut him off.
“The hell, don’t scream unless it’s something!”
“Something’s coming!” the woman who’d presumably screamed protested plaintively.
“You’re good, just go—JESUS. Go, go, go!”
“That’s not real.”
“It’s real! It’s real!”
It probably was. Ross hid that thought behind a bland face.
“That’s a person, oh my god, that’s a person!”
“It’s not a person, it’s just a distraction—”
Three startled yelps, which involved a lot of swearing from everyone in the group, quickly followed by, “I told your mother-fucking ass that was a person!”
It took years of customer service for Ross to be able to turn to the next group, which looked petrified, and keep his expression and tone neutral. “Is the next group ready?”
“Momma, no! Momma, no!”
“Someone tell me when it’s over.”
“You know I’m a strong black woman, but if you get behind me like that one more time, I’mma have to hurt yo’ ass.”
Glenn had to turn his face into his cape to disguise a laugh.
This whole clan had an evil sense of humor. What that said about Ross, who enjoyed ushering the next group through, well, it was probably safer not to ask.
Group after group braved the entrance. Despite hearing the screams, and the howls, and the mad cackles coming from inside the haunted house, they still went through.
Ross’s facial muscles hurt from the effort of not laughing.
Maybe they should send a camera crew through with one of the groups, get some footage to put up on YouTube.
It would be both hysterical and good exposure.
He’d mention that to Glenn after they ended tonight.
Somewhere around ten o’clock, he took a twenty-minute break in their makeshift breakroom. As Ross walked through the back hallway, he could hear through their thin walls easily. This group near him were even louder than the first group through, and that was saying something.
“Oh damn, we’re in the crazy people place,” a high voice groaned.
A screech and then an outraged voice, “It’s light in here! You don’t come out when it’s light!”
“Okay, we see both of you. Alright? We see both of you, great performance—seriously is that real fur? That looks like real fur—HOLY SHIT NO DO NOT COME CLOSER, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.”
Without anyone around to see him, Ross busted up laughing. Seriously, camera crew. Camera crew had to happen.
“No, see, there’s feet, they’re real—”
“That one doesn’t have feet!”
“He’s on wires or something, it’s fine, they’re just real people in costume—”
“You ain’t convincing when you’re clinging on my back like a koala!”
Ross was still laughing as he entered their breakroom. To his surprise, it was occupied and Ross greeted the woman on the couch. “Hi, Maria. On break too?”
“Yeah.” The witch was tucked in with her water bottle in one hand, phone in the other. She looked up at his entrance and nodded to the fridge. “I snuck in some cold Gatorade too.”
“Thanks, that sounds good.” Ross was admittedly bad about drinking straight water.
It just had a boring taste. He preferred something flavored.
He chose a fruit punch and sipped at it as he sat on the couch with her.
It was a slightly beat up thing they’d borrowed from the werewolves’ Den, squishy and comfortable.
He could use ten minutes off his feet. “It seems like the haunted house is going smoothly so far.”
Maria nodded in agreement, but she wore a calculating look. “Every year, we get more people through. I assume it’s word of mouth, since we don’t advertise it much.”
“I really think we should get a camera crew to follow someone through. Put the footage up on YouTube. It’ll be both hysterical and good PR.”
“I don’t see the harm.” Maria waved to indicate the shenanigans around them. “We mostly do this for the fun of it, but it is very lucrative. I think last year’s proceeds is actually what bought our cemetery plot.”
“Is it really? That’s interesting. I’ll mention it to Glenn, then.”
“Ah, yes,” Maria purred as if he’d finally landed on what she really wanted to talk about. “I noticed your cozy little chat with Glenn.”
Ross watched her from the corner of his eye as he took another sip. He had a mother and a sister and that expression was one he knew. And it absolutely wasn’t one to be trusted.
“You’re looking very unapproachable right now.” Maria eyed Ross right back, also sipping at her water.
Ross sipped back. As he was not to be out-sipped. “And yet, here you are.”
“Come on, we’re all curious. We’ve never seen Glenn act like this before.
Don’t get me wrong, he liked our previous human assistants, and they were all good at their jobs.
But he’s never flirted with them or shown any interest. And you, you do the same job with this deadpan flair and it gets him laughing. Are you not interested?”
Hell yeah, he was interested. Ross dreamed of licking Glenn like a popsicle. Among other things he wouldn’t think about just now because he was in a building with people who possessed very sensitive noses and/or abilities that could pick up on sexual arousal like heavy perfume.
“So, you are interested!” she crowed, smile bouncing onto her face.
Ross had to teach his facial expressions how to use their inside voice. He decided to flip the tables. “Look, say I’m interested. I’m not the only one capable of making a move. You’ll notice Glenn hasn’t.”
“Hmm, I can’t speak for him—he hasn’t confided in me. But it could be he’s taking this slowly for your sake. You haven’t been with us long, after all. And you went through a lot of changes in a short amount of time.”
“It’s true this year has used zero lube.” Ross snorted, remembering all that had happened. “Although life improved when I took the job with the clan. It went absolutely screwy at the same time, but it did improve. You really think he’s just giving me time to get my feet under me?”
“That’s my take on it. Remember, you’re dealing with a man who’s much more mature than anyone you’ve dated. He knows how to play the long game and keep a relationship healthy.”