12. Cole
Chapter 12
Cole
X avi had disappeared into the hallway as I came back down it, mumbling something about needing to find Samson before Cecelia sunk her claws into him, too. Colton had peeled off toward the kitchen with a half-assed excuse that he was in search of the drink he’d abandoned. But I wasn’t stupid. I knew both of them were giving me space, or her space, or worse, us space.
But I wasn’t going to take it for granted. I’d steeled myself back up, pushed down my embarrassment as much as I could, and was ready to talk to her again, even if it was uncomfortable. I’d screwed up, but I could at least try to fix it and get myself back in the game.
I leaned against the wall beside her, one hand in my pocket and the other curled around a sweating solo cup of water. No more alcohol for me. Not when it, apparently, set me off and made me ask incredibly stupid questions.
Annie looked up at me. She smiled. Not the overly happy, bright kind she’d flashed at Colton when he made her laugh, and not the sad, crooked one she’d given to Xavi when he cheered her up earlier. No, this one was smaller, warmer, the kind that hurt you right down the middle of your chest to look at.
“Hey,” I said softly, swallowing down my discomfort. “Are you doing okay?”
She hesitated, her gaze drifting back out toward the crowd. “I think so. I’m getting there. Maybe.”
We settled into an uncomfortable silence, the space filled only by the annoyingly heavy bass of whatever EDM beat was pulsing through the speakers. She didn’t mention what I’d said earlier — she didn’t need to. It was hanging there between us, heavy and unsaid, but I wasn’t going to press her. I’d already made shit awkward enough.
“I just…” She glanced at me, her mouth tightening as she tried to find the right words. “Thank you, for earlier. You didn’t have to step in, you didn’t have to say anything to him, you didn’t have to help me or distract me or try to make me feel better. But you did.”
I shrugged, raising the glass of water to my lips and chugging down half of it. “Of course I did,” I said, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. “You needed it. You deserved it.”
She went quiet again, that sad little smile creeping back up, but there was a hint of something else in it this time.
I cleared my throat and pushed off the wall, feeling the words coming before I could think twice about them. “Want some air?”
Her gaze met mine, blinking once, twice, before she finally nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that.”
The sliding glass door onto the balcony squeaked softly as I pulled it open, the cool but humid night air sticking to my skin like a cold sweat. She stepped through behind me, and I closed it, the bass from inside dulling and replaced by the distant hum of traffic and the rustling of the leaves on the live oaks below. I walked across the wooden deck and turned, leaning back onto the wooden railing. The stars above were faint from the city haze, but they were there, scattered and hanging through the dusting of clouds.
Annie stepped beside me, her drink abandoned somewhere, her small hands wrapping around the wood, eyes tracing the sky like she was searching for something. Anything.
For a moment, a long, stretching moment, we just stood there in relative silence. But then her mouth opened, the hint of a thought threatening to come out, before she closed it again.
I understood. I needed to do something. “You don’t have to?—”
“I didn’t know what to say.” Her voice was quiet, barely audible over the light wind, and I realized I’d gotten it wrong. I hadn’t needed to speak at all, she’d just been trying to come up with the right words.
“To what I asked you?” I guessed, but I already knew.
She nodded, her auburn hair shifting around her face, her fingers tightening their grip on the wood. “You… you and Colton and Xavi, you’ve all been so nice to me tonight. I didn’t expect that. I didn’t expect any of this. I barely even know what I’m doing here.” Her lips pressed together, her voice a little breathy, and I could tell it was costing her something to keep her speech steady. “Look, it’s obvious, with all three of you. I’d be stupid if I didn’t see it. I just don’t want to make things messy between you guys, you’re all clearly close and I don’t want to cause any issues.”
I glanced down at her, studying the slope of her shoulders as they sagged a little, the way her jaw tensed as she looked out over the tops of the live oaks. “Look,” I said, keeping my voice as low and even as I could. “The three of us have been through a hell of a lot together. We’ve had screaming matches, fights that turned physical, nights where one of us didn’t come home ‘cause we were too pissed off — usually me. But we’ve always made it out on the other side. We’re not exactly fragile. If things get a little messy, we’ll deal with it.”
Her gaze slowly turned to me, her brows knitting together. “But I don’t want to come between you guys. I don’t want to be a wedge.”
I shook my head, turning my eyes upward toward the smattering of stars, staring straight at the big dipper. “You’re not,” I said simply. “You’re not a wedge, Annie. You’re a person. And you’ve got every right to choose what, or who , you want.”
I could feel the heat of her stare lingering on me.
“No pressure,” I added, glancing back down at her. She looked as if she didn’t quite believe me, like I’d said something insane.
“How do you just… say things like that?” she murmured, shaking her head slightly as if to shake off my words. “You sound like you’ve lived a dozen lives. Like you’re some weird monk in the forest giving me advice.”
I snorted then, the ease of conversation coming a little more naturally now, and bumped her shoulder lightly with my upper arm. “Didn’t you hear? I’m old.”
She laughed then, really laughed, her nose scrunching and a genuine smile breaking across her lips. “You don’t look old.”
“Flattery won’t get you out of this conversation,” I tried to deadpan, but the grin tugging my lips up definitely gave me away. That damn laugh had done something stupid to my chest, had cracked it open and flooded me with something warm and dangerous that I almost wanted to run from, something I hadn’t felt in years.
I felt it before I saw it. The softness of her fingers, light and small and gentle, grazing my forearm as if they had every right to be there before they settled just beneath my elbow, squeezing almost sympathetically.
My thumb brushed against the inside of her wrist, over her soft skin and fluttering pulse, lingering on the way her vein pounded beneath it. She didn’t pull away as I leaned a little closer, but her breath caught in her throat, stuck like she didn’t know what to do with it, and god, I felt that sound go right through my chest and settle between my hips.
Her eyes flicked between mine, looking at me like I was either something dangerous or something incredible, like she was thinking of running or standing her ground at the same time. Her lips parted, her throat working on a swallow, and I could barely fucking think straight when she looked at me like that. I was gone for her.
“You’d think with how ancient I am,” I said quietly, my voice barely more than a whisper, “that I’d know better than this.”
She didn’t move a muscle, but I caught the way her eyes flicked down to my lips before coming back up to mine. “Better than what?”
I could barely hear over the roar of my pulse in my ears as I leaned a little closer, her breath warming the space between us, my nerves tucked neatly away in a box where they couldn’t stop me. “Better than kissing you right now.”
I could feel her heartbeat jump beneath my thumb and her shaky breath against my lips, my chin, my jaw. Her eyes didn’t leave mine even as they became unfocused with me so close, not even for a second, and she didn’t move away.
So I kissed her. Harder than I meant to.
All the restraint I’d been holding onto since I’d realized I wanted her snapped in an instant.
Her gasp hit the back of my throat, swallowed up as my mouth claimed hers, hungry and urgent and unfettered, like I’d been waiting for this longer than I could bear to admit. Her lips were so goddamn soft and warm, parting easily beneath mine, and she didn’t even hesitate , not even for a heartbeat. She kissed me back like she’d been holding her breath all night and I was the only air left.
I tightened my grip on her wrist as my other hand came up to her jaw, cupping it, feeling her warmth against more of me before sliding my fingers through the soft waves of her hair at the back of her neck. I held her there, deepening the kiss further, exploring her mouth, claiming it as her hand fisted the front of my shirt, anchoring herself to me, pulling me closer, and fuck , I let her pull me. Crowding her against the railing, I pressed my body flush to hers, instinct and need driving me entirely as the cooler air whipped around us. But she was burning hot beneath my grip.
She whimpered, just a little, into my mouth, and my god, I felt it everywhere. It went straight to my cock, blood already pooling, and I didn’t fucking care if there was a chance she’d feel it against her. I groaned against her lips, my hand releasing her wrist and wrapping around her, sliding down her spine over Xavi’s hoodie and stopping at the small of her back. Desperation screamed at me to pull her closer, to crush her against me, but I was still clinging onto that last thread of control that I was barely keeping a hold of.
She tasted like cola and warm rum and something purely her, something that was already starting to feel addictive with every swipe of my tongue and move of my mouth. Every brush, every squeeze, every nip of her teeth, every soft and eager little sound she gave me unraveled me in pieces I knew I wasn’t going to get back.
I wanted more.