14. Xavi
Chapter 14
Xavi
C oach Casey had already blown the whistle on me twice before I’d even broken a sweat.
One bad slash, one check that bordered on high-sticking. Nothing bad enough that would actually injure anyone, but it was enough that his voice had boomed across the ice with a bitterness I didn’t often hear from him. “Xavi, box. Now. Sit your ass down or I’m pulling you.”
I wanted to argue. I wanted to blame the sharp pulsing behind my eyes on the too-bright lights overhead or my gear not sitting right, anything but how much I was struggling to not think about Annie.
I’d dropped her backpack off at Dad’s bar this morning before coming to the rink. She’d left it in the car after the party, and I knew it was at least somewhat important and had her cables and microphone inside. I’d carried it in, letting myself in with the spare key Dad had given me, and hung it in the staff room for her in the dead quiet of the empty space. I hadn’t stayed, didn’t know what time someone would get there and if it would be her, and left within a minute of arriving, my heart racing like a goddamn middle schooler with a crush.
I’d been tempted to leave a napkin with my number written on it inside, but I’d held out.
And Cole had said thanks to me for it as if he hadn’t tried to ask her out.
“Someone’s got a temper this morning,” Colton drawled from the benches as I skated toward the penalty box, his legs spread and his upper body leaned back on the boards behind him, tapping his stick on the ground. “What’s wrong, man? You jealous Cole got to kiss her first?”
The words slammed into me like a puck to the fucking sternum. I skidded to a halt in front of him, Cole off to my left, his cheeks going red the moment I turned my gaze on him. “Dude,” Cole snapped at Colton.
“You didn’t tell him?” Colton asked hesitantly, sitting up a little. “Shit?—”
“You kissed her?” The words came out before I could stop myself, my voice too low, too sharp, too dangerous.
Cole’s gaze slowly turned back to me, his jaw tight. “Yeah. I did.”
A second passed. Maybe two. I didn’t even realize that I was pulling my gloves off, abandoning my stick against the boards, and moving toward Cole, my body squaring up. Every part of me screamed to punch something, and Cole was unfortunately close.
“Okay, hey, hey!” Colton was on the ice and gliding between us in an instant, one gloved hand coming up in front of me, palm out, and I came to a halt, my skates shifting sideways and spraying snow. “Dial it the fuck down, Xav. This isn’t what we’re doing.”
My chest rose and fell far harder than it had during plays. “You knew.”
Colton shrugged, half of his body blocking Cole who was barely even looking at me now. “He told me after it happened. I thought he’d told you too,” Colton said, shooting a glare over his shoulder at Cole before turning back to me. “Hell, I’ve been trying not to think about it too much. But you’ve gotta calm down.”
“In my defense, I was going to, but I hadn’t found the right time to bring it up,” Cole mumbled.
“Oh, no? Maybe when you were thanking me for dropping off her fucking bag this morning would have been a good?—”
“ Xav ,” Colton hissed. “Take a deep breath, man. We all talked about this. Every man for himself. We all like her. She might like us. But we ,” he motioned between the three of us, “are friends first. And we’ve gotta respect her choice. Period.”
Cole exhaled hard through his nose, his face still cherry red, but he gave me a quick nod. “I should have said something sooner. I’m sorry. I’m not trying to play dirty here.”
My jaw worked as I fought to keep my head on straight, heat boiling in the back of my throat. Or maybe that was bile. Every man for himself sounded like a joke right now.
“Fine,” I bit out, pushing off and grabbing my stick before Coach could shout at me again, heading straight for the penalty box. At least I could think in there.
I slammed the door behind me and dropped onto the bench, ripping my helmet off in one quick motion. I hated this, hated that we’d for some godforsaken reason decided to make this a competition, one I was absolutely going to lose. There wasn’t a single part of me that thought I had a chance, and why would I? If anything, I knew damn well that Cole was her best option out of the three of us. I’d beaten it into my skull for days now, forced myself to come to terms with it. He had the most experience. He was the best of us in terms of relationships. But knowing that he’d kissed her when the most I’d done was hold her for a few minutes still felt like a kick in the ribs.
At least if she was with Cole, she’d still be around. But I wasn’t sure how I’d handle that.
————
The locker room stank of sweat and damp gear, but none of it could drown out the frustration and tension boiling behind my ribcage. I’d skated like hell, my anger on full display, and left a pretty purple bruise on one of the guys during scrimmage.
Coach didn’t say a word after the third time he’d told me to cool it. I was pretty sure he figured that if I didn’t get it out here, I’d take it out on a wall somewhere or on the other team at the game on Sunday.
I’d ripped off my pads like they were burning me, steam rising off my skin as I dropped onto the bench between the lockers like I meant to break it. Colton whistled low and lazy, laid out on the bench beside me, one leg hooked over the other like he hadn’t been skating circles around the rest of us all practice. The asshole looked like he’d been on a casual stroll through a field of wildflowers.
Cole peeled off his jersey and undershirt across from me, his skin red and blotchy from practice, his cheeks still tinted pink — but I wasn’t sure if that was from the workout or from me still looking at him like I was out for blood. He didn’t say a word, his gaze locked on something in his locker, not even making eye contact.
Good. I wasn’t sure I’d hold myself back if he wanted to argue.
But of course, because the universe and the world and God himself hated me, he opened his damn mouth. “Have you considered the possibility that she likes all three of us?”
I could feel my face contort briefly, my brows coming together and my nostrils flaring. I hadn’t considered that at all.
“Maybe she wants a little bit of everything,” he continued, watching me closely. “I mean, sharing’s not so bad. Wouldn’t be the first time we?—”
“She’s not a flame,” I snapped, jerking my head toward him, my voice dripping with irritation I was barely keeping under control.
Colton held up a single hand in surrender, all faux innocence and a cocky little grin. “Easy, man. It was just a thought. Options and all that.”
“Well think quieter,” I grumbled, tearing my other skate off my foot in one clean motion. “You two shits wanted to include me in this, but I’m not here to play nice. I don’t share unless they’re flames. I’m playing to fucking win.”
Cole glanced at me before shooting Colton a look I didn’t quite catch on to.
I pulled off my jersey and leaned forward on my knees, clad in nothing but my underclothes, and huffed out an irritated breath. “I want her,” I said, the words feeling like gravel in my throat, the admission nearly choking me. “I want her for myself, in my bed, alone .”
Silence stretched between us for a moment, nothing but mine and Cole’s heavy breaths from the workout and Colton’s somehow calm ones. But Cole’s low whistle cut through it, his brows raising. “All right then,” he muttered.
Colton snorted. “Guess it’s official. The race is on.”