32. Colton
Chapter 32
Colton
V iktor clapped me on the back so hard I nearly spilled my beer on the sticky floor of Smokey’s. “You look like a man at a funeral,” he said in his thick Russian accent, eyeing me with amusement. “What’s the matter? Too many pretty girls throwing themselves at you and you just don’t have the time, Miller?”
“Or maybe he just doesn’t want to risk an STI tonight,” Sam said, rolling his eyes as he leaned forward onto the standing table. “Just be glad the three of them even came out at all. Buzzkills lately.”
A cluster of flames were hovering nearby, their dresses tight, their makeup done perfectly, fake laughs and giggles aimed our way. But I was barely paying attention to them, barely paying attention to anything besides Annie behind the bar. “Just been tired lately,” I said as an excuse, raising my glass, trying to keep my glances at her few and far between to not draw too much attention.
“Bullshit,” Viktor said, slamming his beer down on the table with a massive grin on his face. “You scored two goals tonight, Miller. Broke three sticks. You deserve to get laid. Are you in love with your right hand or something now?”
I didn’t answer. I glanced over at her again, just briefly, watching her move behind the bar like she’d never been gone, mixing drinks, tossing jokes, managing orders without missing a beat. There was a glow to her now, one I was acutely aware of but couldn’t share. Her hair was tied up for once, little waves of auburn falling loose around her face, and when she laughed with one of the other guys from the team, my chest pulled tight.
Viktor was right. But it wasn’t my right hand he was right about.
I pounded back my beer to give me an excuse and pushed back from the table, raising my empty glass as an indication of my intentions. Cole met my gaze briefly, his brows furrowing, but I didn’t pay it any mind.
She noticed me before I reached her, her eyes softening a little. “Need another drink?” she asked.
I leaned forward on the bar, keeping my voice low. “Need a minute. Can you take a quick break?”
She looked back at Gabriel, the old man flitting from customer to customer. “Gabby,” she called. “Mind if I step away for five?”
He looked back at her, spotted me, and waved a hand as if to say go ahead . I was pretty sure Xavi had already told him everything — there wasn’t a lot he kept from his dad.
She pulled the string on the apron around her waist and left it on the counter in front of her, shooting me a soft smile. “You good?”
“Yeah,” I said, but I knew she could see through it. My normal jokey upbeatness wasn’t out in full swing right now, not when I knew I needed to lay myself bare. “Come on.”
I led her toward the door for the bathrooms and staff area, and she took my hand once we were behind the swinging door, passing the signs for Pucks and Sticks, further into the back and through the Staff Only door. “Outside or bag room?” she said, offering them like they were both golden options.
I snorted. “Bag room.”
She pulled me inside and shut the door behind us, a handful of purses and jackets clanging against it as she leaned on the wall beside it, crossing her arms over her chest. “What’s up? You don’t seem?—”
“I don’t want to pretend like I’m not in love with you,” I blurted, the words tumbling out of me, nothing prepped and only emotion surging me forward. Her brows shot up immediately. “Or—shit, that’s not what I mean. Look, I’ve been out there for the last forty-five minutes being flirted with and egged on by my teammates to act on it, and I, I, shit , I would have before you. I would have. And I’m having to stand there and make excuses for why I’m not, and I don’t want to do that.”
She blinked at me, her arms falling to her sides, her throat working.
“I don’t want to have to say that I’m tired or that I’m not feeling it tonight, sweetheart, I just want to fucking look at them and be honest and say that I love you. I want to look at you and say that I love you.” I crossed the space to her — all of one single step in this tiny box — and took her face in my hands. “I love you. I love you and I don’t care if this is too fast and I’m so sick of pretending like I’m not.”
Her eyes watered, her lips quirking up at the edges. “Really?”
I nodded, pressing my forehead to hers. “Yeah. I do. And I know I’ve got fuck all to base that on, but I’m, like, ninety-nine percent positive that’s what this is. And I want to be able to say it, at least to you.”
She huffed out a little breath that sounded almost like a sob, her hand coming up to wipe away the stray tear. “Fucks sake, Colton, I didn’t wear waterproof mascara tonight,” she laughed breathily. “And for the record, it’s not too fast. Cole’s already said it.”
My mouth fell open. “ What ?”
Her arms slid between mine and wrapped around my neck, holding me down to her. “How’s second place feel?”
I almost laughed — almost. “That fucker,” I hissed, pressing my lips to hers just briefly, needing to feel it. “Kissed you first. Said it first. Could have knocked you up first. Absolutely ridiculous?—”
“Hey, hey,” she laughed. “Listen to me for a second before you get all worked up and annoyed.”
I pulled back enough to look down at her, my lips quirking up at the corner. “You have the floor.”
“I’m going to tell you the same thing I told him.” She took a deep breath in, her arms locking a little more around me, her body pushing out a little to sit flush against mine. “I’m not saying it back yet. But not because I don’t want to or because I don’t feel the same, because I do. I do feel the same.”
A rush of warmth spread over me in an instant, dampened quickly by the words she’d said before — I’m not saying it back yet. “I don’t understand.”
“Xav’s not said it yet,” she said softly, her fingers playing with the ponytail at the back of my head. “I don’t want him to feel like I’m putting you two above him by saying it to you guys, and I don’t want him to feel like he needs to say it if he’s not there yet, just to catch up. I don’t want to freak him out?—”
“Annie. Sweetheart. Light of my fuckin’ life. Mother to our baby. You know damn well he’s in love with you,” I chuckled, leaning into her again, pressing a kiss to her cheek, her jaw.
“I… Okay, yeah, I know he probably is. But I want to let him get there on his own,” she said softly, but I could feel the way her cheeks tugged beneath my lips, a grin spreading across them.
I nipped softly at her neck, my hand snaking back to grasp her by the back of her neck. “I know you’re thinking smart about this, but it’s going to kill me. I have to wait to hear you say it back to me? Can’t you just whisper it in secret?”
A little chuckle bubbled up her throat. “Nope. Not doing it. It’s not fair.”
“So, what, you’re just going to let us all say it and then have some big moment where you say it back to all of us at once?”
She shrugged. “Maybe. Or maybe last place gets to hear it first. I haven’t decided yet.”
“That’s diabolical, sweetheart,” I growled. “You trying to set me off?”
“Maybe,” she murmured.
I dragged my hand down her side and around to the back, digging my fingers into her rear through her jeans. “How many minutes do I have left?”
She laughed breathlessly. “Like, one.”
“I can do a lot with sixty seconds.”
I didn’t wait for her to say another word.
I caught her mouth with mine like I was starving for it, kissing her deep and hard enough to make her gasp against my lips. I gripped her tighter around the back of her neck, pushing my body against hers and driving her into the wall a little harder than I intended, but I was rushed.
She whimpered into the kiss, her hands moving to my shoulders, her fingers twisting in the fabric of my shirt like she wasn’t quite sure if she should rip it off me or just anchor herself with it. My tongue moved greedily against hers, devouring the laugh she didn’t get to finish.
“Fuck,” I rasped against her lips. “I love you.”
She barely had time to react before I kissed her again, rougher this time, like I could brand the words into her mouth. Her nails dug in through my shirt, dragging down across my chest, practically begging me to take her right here, and I groaned. I bit down on her bottom lip, savoring the way her hips twitched into mine, like she was seeking friction she knew she didn’t have time for.
“Say it back, sweetheart,” I begged, my voice raw, my mouth moving to her jaw, her neck, sucking a mark into her skin that I didn’t give a shit about anyone seeing. “Say it before you have to go back out there.”
“No,” she laughed, gasping at my little growl against her skin. “You’ll drive yourself crazy if you keep begging me?—”
I kissed her again, swallowing the last of her words whole, my hands moving everywhere I could reach — her waist, her hips, her spine, dipping beneath the little gap in the back of her jeans, memorizing every part of her in the seconds I had left.
She pulled back with a smirk. “It’s definitely been a minute.”
“I need an extension,” I grunted, chasing another kiss like it might destroy me not to.
Annie gave it to me.
Her hand moved on the door handle, but she still kissed me all the same, and I led her backward out the door, my mouth on her, my hands grasping the sides of her head like I couldn’t let go. I kissed her through the hall, down the narrow walkway, past the Pucks and Sticks signs, not caring if any of my teammates were back here anymore. Let them see.
Just before I managed to get her through the swinging door at the end, she broke it off, her lips swollen, her eyes heavy.
I dragged my thumb across her smeared lipstick, wiping it away with ease. “I love you. Say it back,” I tried again.
“Nope.” She grinned. “Be patient.”
I nearly shoved my fist through the drywall.
————
Xavi was officially too drunk to control.
The crowd had died down at least, but he was trailing Annie like a lost puppy, following her around the bar and walking with her anytime she needed to dip into the stock room. She kept laughing at him, her cheeks going pink, and all I could do was stare in half-annoyance, partly entertained by just how ridiculous it was. I almost hoped he’d drunkenly confess so I could hear her say it back to me tonight.
“He’s not trying to be subtle at all,” I said, taking a sip of my beer as I leaned back in the booth.
Cole watched over the rim of his glass of water. Buzzkill. Couldn’t possibly only have one designated driver. “We should probably cut him off.”
“I think she already did,” I snorted. “At least he’s happy-drunk this time. I’d much rather see him like this than how he was.”
“True. But happy-drunk-Xavi is being a little too loud with our situation.”
“Says the one who already said I love you to her.”
His brows furrowed as he turned to me, studying me closely. “She told you I said that? She said she was going to wait to tell anyone until — ah.”
I shrugged. “Told her about an hour ago. She’s taunting me with it. Won’t say it back.”
He snorted. “Yeah, I’ve been waiting about a week.”
“A week ?”
“I said it when I went and got her,” he explained, waving a hand flippantly. His gaze caught behind him, and he squinted, then groaned. “Fucks sake, he’s making out with her.”
I turned immediately, spotting them across the bar, a pad of paper and a pen in her hand where he had her practically pinned to the wall, peppering her with little kisses in between longer, deeper ones that were far too messy to be anything but horny. “God dammit.”
I searched out the last of the team that was still here, watching the way they glanced at him, chuckling to themselves or raising a glass toward him that he wouldn’t see.
“Do we stop him, or?—”
Cole was already out of the booth. Guess that answered that.
He stalked across the bar, his footsteps heavy and determined, walking right up behind Xavi and grabbing a fistful of his shirt and yanking him backward off her. Annie laughed, clear and bright and loud enough to cut through the music and the clinking of glasses, but Cole clearly was pressed about more than just Xavi’s blatant disregard for our attempts to keep this under wraps.
Cole wrapped an arm around her, pulling her into his chest and pressing a kiss on the top of her head.
And then he pulled her through the same door she’d led me through.
I could just barely make them out through the rectangular window on the swinging door, but Cole definitely had her against the wall, his mouth on hers like he could claim her right here in this goddamn establishment.
I laughed as I set my beer down, feeling it all coming undone, a little too tipsy to care. We were being reckless tonight, apparently. Even mostly-sober Cole.
Xavi plopped down in the seat across from me, a pout on his lips, his hair a mess from Annie’s hands.
“Impressive that you managed to get her to kiss you like that while she’s on the clock,” I smirked.
He waved a hand, squinting at me like I was far away when I was no more than two feet from him. “She’s drunk. Was easy.”
I shook my head. “Xav, she’s not drunk, she’s pregnant,” I said quietly, laughing at just how bad he was. Xavi was messy when he was this inebriated, his memory fucked and his grip on reality altered. He’d once tried to tell me aliens had eaten his brains when he’d had too many tequila shots after a game.
But that gave me an idea.
“You love her?” I asked casually. He wouldn’t remember it.
He flopped back dramatically, his head tipping back on the wood. “So much,” he groaned. “Love her so much.”
Knew it. “You should tell her.”
His head snapped forward, his eyes widening. “Fuck no,” he whispered. “Then she’s got all the cards. Could take my tiny little heart out of my chest and crush it between her fingers like a ghost.”
I snorted. “Like a ghost? The fuck does that mean?”
He leaned forward, resting his face in his hands. “I don’t know. It made sense a second ago.”
I nudged his foot under the table. “You know, Cole and I already told her.”
“Told her what?”
“That we love her.”
He picked his head up out of his hands. “You love her?”
“No, we just lied to her, Xav,” I laughed. “Yes, of course we do. You should tell her, too.”
He looked toward the door they’d gone behind, squinting again, his upper body swaying a little. There was zero chance of recollection for him tonight. “No,” he said. “Wanna be sober. Wanna remember.”
My chest ached a little at that. The fucker was adorable, I’d give him that.
Cole came out with her a minute later, lipstick on his cheek and mouth, Annie’s hair a mess, and I couldn’t help but laugh at them both as they tried to pretend like nothing had happened. And it hit me, then — how happy this made me. How stupidly, ridiculously happy I was, even now, even with Xavi almost blacking out and Cole smeared with Annie’s lipstick, the girl of my goddamn dreams split between the three of us.
I was happy. I felt whole for the first time in years.
I just needed her to say it back.