5. Deacon
Chapter five
Deacon
Nothing was worse than the smell of an apartment that had been closed up all summer.
This wasn’t in my plans for moving back in the fall. I should’ve been returning to an apartment on the other side of campus. It was a two-bedroom apartment that probably belonged to a set of long-time BFFs or a couple who had successfully moved in together for their senior year.
I wasn’t bitter. I was just irritated that I was moving into a three-bedroom apartment on North Enterprise with two guys instead of the cozy set-up on Juniper.
Andre and I shared the same unsatisfied expression and worked quickly to open all the windows. Andre was the first friend I made at BG, and when he said that he and Nathan had a spare bedroom, I jumped at the opportunity. I wasn’t technically on the lease, but their third roommate, Greg, was never there. Greg was happily taken and planned to spend most of his time at his girlfriend’s place. Maybe they were decorating my apartment on Juniper.
Again, I wasn’t bitter.
Andre pointed down the hall. “Greg’s room was the last door on the right. All his stuff was out of there when we left in May, so the room should be empty.”
I grabbed the rest of the stuff from my car and set up my room. I scheduled a truck to arrive from Detroit with my furniture tomorrow morning, so my mattress sat on the floor. I placed my MacBook on my desk and hung my clothes in the closet. It wasn’t my apartment, but I was grateful for the space. It would be home for the rest of the school year.
When I came back into the living room, Andre was testing the cable on the TV and wiggling a cord in the back of the internet modem.
“I don’t know why this happens every single time,” he said, growing more frustrated with the cord. “These idiots act like it’s this crazy process to turn the signal back on.”
I chuckled at the sight of him losing to a thin yellow cable.
Just as I was about to offer to help, Nathan walked through the front door with a giant smile. “No signal?”
“Appears that way.” I extended my hand. “What’s up, man? I’m Deacon. Thanks for letting me crash here.”
“No problem. Andre told me what happened. That’s rough.”
My stomach dipped as the memory reel from Grounds for Thought replayed in my head. Just because I had my plan for the future flipped upside down didn’t mean I had to sulk. Cassie certainly wasn’t. Her Instagram page told me she was taking trips and meeting new people. I would lose my mind if I read another hashtag that said, “thriving.”
“Shit happens,” I said casually. The last thing I wanted to be was the roommate everyone tip-toed around. “Do you guys wanna go get some food? Maybe when we come back, we’ll have some internet.”
We waited for Nathan to unpack and change before heading down the street to Beckett’s. If there was one thing I missed about Bowling Green, Ohio, it was Beckett’s burgers.
When we rounded the corner of Main, it was clear that a good amount of other students missed the hot spot too. Beckett’s opened at eleven, and since it was only five after, the line outside the restaurant moved quickly.
“So what’s the move tonight?” Nathan asked once we were seated.
Andre didn’t seem thrown by the question. In fact, he was smiling down at his phone and looked up to see my response.
“What did you guys have planned?” I asked slowly.
“Hit a few bars,” Andre said. “It’s Opening Weekend, so we usually just let the night plan itself out.”
Their unplanned evening was the exact opposite of what I did on campus last year—all the more reason to lean into the changes I needed to adjust to.
“We should hit up a gas station on our way back and get some beer,” I suggested.
Nathan smacked my arm and smiled. Andre laughed and went back to texting. My approval was clearly needed to set the tone for the evening.
When the waitress returned with our drinks, we all ordered food. I took a hefty sip of my Corona and relaxed in my chair. I listened to Andre and Nathan go back and forth about class schedules, women they hooked up with over the summer, and people they would invite for pregaming tonight before we all went out. It was amazing and saddening at the same time how the world could just go on when you felt yours was at a standstill. Everyone else was eager for another semester to start. I had a detailed image of what this year would look like, and I needed to give myself a chance to draw it differently.
Maybe space would work in my favor. Cassie would go out, meet new people, and realize how many shithead guys attended this school. College students were a toss-up, and the thought of dating anyone else right now seemed painful .
Maybe Cassie “thriving” as a single woman would bring her back to me. I wanted to see her happy, but I wasn’t ready to give up on the idea of us being together.
Just as I was about to answer Andre’s question about when I wanted to start pregaming, Cassie walked into Beckett’s. She looked beautiful—blonde hair pulled back in one long braid and shorts that cut off just above her ass. I was surprised to see her in such a low-cut tank top, but I understood when I saw the two guys that followed behind her. She was with a small group of people, and I only recognized Clara, her roommate. Since I was seated at a corner table, Cassie didn’t notice me. She walked toward the back of the restaurant and would have no idea I was in the same place as her.
My throat went dry. Even after another sip of beer, I couldn’t find the words to answer Andre’s simple question. So instead, I nodded and continued acting like nothing in the world was wrong; like my gorgeous ex-girlfriend didn’t just walk into a restaurant we used to come to every Wednesday with two guys who probably wanted to fuck her.
Okay, maybe they didn’t want to fuck her. I wouldn’t make assumptions. It was just throwing me off that Cassie and I weren’t doing that anymore, that I couldn’t just walk across the room and hug her without it being weird. As I mentioned before, I wasn’t bitter. My heart was still mending from something that only happened three months ago, while it was clear that Cassie had already moved on.