Chapter 26
Jack appeared occasionally at different meetings. Gradually, he could see I was sincere about staying sober. When it came time for him to share at a meeting we both attended, he talked obliquely about being taken advantage of as a child actor. Afterwards, I approached him.
‘You’re an actor?’
‘How long have you been in Ireland?’
‘Six years.’
‘Yeah, I’d been written out by then, but I was in a long-running TV drama series shot in London when I was a youngster. I’m Jack Brady.’
The name meant nothing to me except that it was the same name as Tom Brady, the most famous quarterback in the world. Jack had never heard of him. ‘Quarterbacks only exist in America, so he’s hardly world famous.’ He was putting me in my place.
‘And are you still acting?’
‘No. That lifestyle doesn’t exactly lend itself to sobriety.’
‘You know I’m a drama student, right?’
‘Well, I know you’re a drama queen.’ He saw the hurt in my face. ‘Sorry, I mean you were a drama queen, back in Longhurst, before you got kicked out.’
‘You’re the one who got me kicked out.’
‘I think I did you a favour.’
‘I think you probably did.’
The conversation was becoming a little intense. He took a step back. ‘When are you due?’
‘Just a few weeks to go.’
‘Is Daddy sober?’
It took me a few seconds to decide how to respond.
‘None of your business.’
‘Good answer.’
‘Yeah, well, I needed somebody to get sober for.’
His brow furrowed. ‘Well, that’s a shitty reason to have a kid.’
I was startled. The conversation had started okay, then turned a bit awkward, and now it was horrible.
‘You asshole. That’s not why I got pregnant.’
‘Sure,’ he said, then turned on his heel and left.
Was I using my child to stay sober? No. By now I really wanted someone to love.