Chapter 70
‘What?’ said Jack, and I could tell he was shocked.
‘I don’t believe her. There were so many inconsistencies in what she told us. Kids these days, they experiment with all kinds of sex, even violent sex.’
‘But I met him, I confronted him. And he quit his job. If that’s not an admission of guilt –’
‘Yes, he was an asshole, but you said he denied it. Maybe he quit his job to save his marriage. You threatened him. But that doesn’t mean he raped her. And that email she sent him –’
‘But the bruises, the bite marks.’
‘Maybe that’s the way she likes it.’
‘What? Why are you saying this? Whatever happened to “hashtag I believe her”? Whatever happened to the sisterhood? What kind of mother are you?’
‘Jack, her behaviour since it happened, it’s not normal.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘She went back to work last week. It’s been twenty-six years for me, and I can’t even go back to Boston. She’s not acting like a real rape victim.’
Even as I said the words, I knew how twisted they were. How twisted I was.
‘I don’t think there’s a rule book for how rape victims are supposed to behave.’
‘Did you see her eating last night? She has her appetite back already.’
‘So what?’
‘I didn’t eat properly for months.’
‘Why are you saying this? Why don’t you believe her? She told me everything. There’s a lot she doesn’t want you to know. There is no way she made this up.’
They were keeping secrets from me.
‘What do you mean? You’ve been talking behind my back?’
‘Yes, because you can’t even look at her. She trusts me.’
‘Is there something going on between you and her? You’re not her birth father, maybe –’
‘Fuck you,’ he snarled. ‘Please get out of this house.’
‘What?’
‘Your insinuations are disgusting. Please leave. I don’t want to be around you any more.’
‘I think you’re forgetting that Lucy is my daughter. And this house was paid for mostly by me.’ I knew these were low blows. We had been through crises before, but these were red lines, and I had crossed all of them. There was a pause.
‘I’m sorry, Jack, I shouldn’t have said any of that.’ I reached out to him, but he backed away.
‘You don’t believe for one second that I have any romantic interest in my daughter.
You’re trying to hurt me. Well, congratulations, it worked.
As for you paying for most of this house, what a joke.
Your rich daddy paid off the Inchicore house, and you might remember that I strongly objected to moving here.
We’re always behind with the mortgage payments.
Right now, the bank owns most of this house.
And when I tell Lucy that you don’t believe her, who do you think she is going to want as a parent? And who will she want to come home to?’
‘Where am I supposed to go?’
‘You don’t even care about her. I couldn’t give a damn where you go.
You’ve always been a liar, from the first moment I met you.
Who was it that said, “When people show you who they are, believe them”?
You treat me like an idiot. I have never known what’s going on with you.
Even when you’re sober, you’re acting like an alcoholic.
It never made sense why you wouldn’t go to Boston, even when that bastard was in prison.
You didn’t go for your sister’s wedding or your dad’s funeral.
Your mother asked me to persuade you, but you shut me out.
When we got together, I thought your recovery was going well, but there’s something not right about you –’
‘Jack, please –’ He did not let me interrupt him.
‘And I can’t trust you to be faithful to me.
I can’t trust you to be sober, and you know what?
That affects my recovery too. All this drama.
I’m two phone calls away from getting a few grams and a bottle of Jameson and I’ve never been more tempted than now, but you know what’s stopping me?
Lucy. She needs me. And she needs you, a rape survivor, to be on her side, but you have chosen not to believe her. How can I possibly live with you?’