Chapter 22
JACK
The look on Maggie’s face as she flew the plane will stay with me for a long time. On the drive home, we talk about the flight, about Greg, about everything other than that moment. I park the car outside my shop and turn off the engine.
‘Hungry?’ I ask as the silence in the car pushes down on us.
‘I’m always hungry.’ She smiles but it’s guarded.
‘Pizza?’ I ask.
‘I, actually… I think I might turn in early tonight. It’s been’ – she looks up at me, green eyes almost jade in the setting sunlight – ‘a pretty big day.’
I’ve been trying to deny how I feel when she looks at me like that, like she sees the truth beneath the facade.
‘But a good day?’
‘Definitely.’ She smiles. ‘Definitely a good day.’
She opens the door and climbs out.
The physical distance feels symbolic. She’s about a metre away but it feels further somehow. The open door is between us, like a pause at the end of a chapter that I can’t read.
I’ve waited too long, or moved too soon. But in that moment, as she stepped towards me, I was so sure she felt the same. That she wanted to kiss me as much as I wanted to kiss her.
‘I guess we should talk?’ I suggest. ‘About earlier—’
‘Listen, Jack.’ She turns to me. ‘I’m not sure I can do… this.’
And here it is. This is why I’ve been holding back, ignoring the attraction I’ve been feeling for her since the minute the lights went on and I saw her standing in front of a cinema screen. I don’t want to lose this, her.
‘This?’
‘You and me. It…’ Her voice is scratchy, pained. ‘It’s not going to work. We can’t have…’ She meets my eyes. ‘There are things you need to know and, and… I can’t even touch you and—’
I was so certain. So convinced that I wasn’t ready… and now I might have blown it. For the first time in months, I’ve felt like me. But she’s scared too.
‘Maggie?’
I hate that there are tears in her eyes.
‘I like you. A lot,’ I begin.
A smile twists in the corner of her mouth. ‘I know. I like you a lot too. But—’
‘Can I ask you a question?’
She exhales long and hard.
‘If this was a scene in a film, what would you want to happen?’
‘This isn’t a film, Jack.’
‘Humour me. Let’s say we have this couple, they are friends but I think there might be something more there, but there are the usual – OK, not usual – barriers standing in their way. What would you want to happen next?’
‘I…’ She looks away, and then back to me. But there is a moment’s hesitation, a hint of possibility. ‘If this was a film? I’d want them to overcome those barriers, I guess.’
‘Even if it might be hard? Even if they’re scared to let themselves get close?’
She nods. ‘But this isn’t a film…’
‘Or a book. But they always find a way, don’t they? Our heroes? Even if it might get a bit complicated along the way.’
‘This isn’t a fairy tale. We don’t get to have a happy ever after. Fairy tales aren’t real.’
‘Who says?’
She throws her hands up. ‘Everyone!’
‘Most stories are based on the truth. And OK, the Grimm brothers were pretty Grimm, and Goldilocks was a selfish little know-it-all, but stories at their core are all about the journey. We’re at the beginning of ours.
Please don’t tear up the script. Not yet.
’ I close the car door, step a little closer, hope clutched tightly in my chest. I incline my head towards the shop.
‘It’s book club night…’ My voice trails off as I look towards the window, a display of new books matching the stickers in the window, then back to Maggie. ‘Can you wait here?’
‘I…’
I take off my jacket and hand it to her. ‘Keep this; you’ll need it.’
‘What? Jack, I…’
‘One more scene?’
She gives me the briefest of nods. ‘One more scene.’
* * *
I push open the door and rush through, taking the steps to my flat two at a time. Thoughts bouncing around inside my mind like a ping-pong ball.
I gather everything I need, shoving it into my overnight bag.
I hurry down the stairs and back into the shop, where I’d left Nell with a look of surprise and her questions about why I’m back so early and what I’m doing.
I take the two hot chocolates I’d asked her to make and pour them into a flask.
The buzz of discussion is heated; the book of the month has clearly divided the readers.
Nell springs up from where she was perched on the edge of a chair as I hurry across the room.
‘Jack!’ She tails me. ‘What’s going on?’ I stumble over my words as I explain about the events of the day, grabbing a handful of sugar sachets.
‘She’s outside?’ she asks aghast, then practically skips towards the window.
She cranes her neck, a beaming smile across her face.
I follow her line of sight. Maggie is sitting across the road on a bench, looking along the street.
Nell chuckles. ‘You’ve given her your jacket? That is so cute!’
‘It’s not cute.’ I dip my head under the counter, looking for my spare battery pack. ‘It’s turned cold outside. I’m being practical.’
‘Readers!’ Nell turns, gathering the attention of the book club. ‘Jack’s on a date!’ I fire a furious look at Nell. ‘And he’s given her his jacket!’
‘Jesus Christ,’ I mutter under my breath as the book club members rush to the window, all trying to see Maggie.
The comments from the book clubbers fire quickly. ‘Oh, she’s pretty! Invite her in. What’s her name?’ Nell deftly answers and allows me to ignore the questions as I shoulder my bag, grab the flask and push my way through the throng, Nell following me to the door.
‘What are you doing?’ I ask.
‘You don’t think I’m going to miss meeting her, do you?’
‘Well. Yes. I’ve told you,’ I say pulling her aside. ‘She has a phobia.’
‘Right, right. Germs.’
‘I mean it, Nell. You. Can. Not. Touch. Her.’ The excitement behind Nell’s eyes dims.
‘Understood,’ she replies. Her mouth opens as if she wants to say something more. I open the door, but Nell follows me, the book club clutching around the doorway.
‘Go back inside,’ I say.
‘Not in a million years.’ Her eyes are challenging. ‘I’ll keep my distance,’ she says voice lifting in innocence. ‘I don’t hug everyone I meet.’
‘You do though.’
‘I’ll be on my best behaviour. No touching. I swear to Captain Birdseye.’ She salutes.
God help me.