Chapter 34
MAGGIE
It’s late, but I’m resisting sleep. I run my fingers through the dark hairs on his chest, his thoughts a gentle beat of joy, tenderness and wonder.
‘What are you thinking?’ he asks me, twirling a lock of hair around his finger.
‘That I don’t think I’ve ever felt this happy. That I never thought I’d ever be able to have this.’
He pulls me against his chest, wraps an arm around me.
‘I can hear your heart beating.’
The weight of our feelings for each other flexes into the silence.
‘Do you need some space?’ he says gently. His hand stops drawing circles on my arm.
‘No.’
‘It must be loud in there.’ He taps my forehead gently.
‘It’s not actually. You’re calm; your thoughts are quieter than normal.’
‘And while we were…’
‘We were both loud, Jack. I couldn’t tell who was who most of the time.’
His phone buzzes from somewhere on the floor.
‘Do you need to get that?’
‘Nope.’
He shifts, facing me. I hook a leg over his hip as he kisses me. ‘No it’s not too fast and yes I want you again,’ I say. He deepens the kiss but the phone rings again.
I grab the back of his hair and pull him closer.
Shit. Ignore it, ignore it.
The phone rings again, demanding to be answered. He draws back and shakes his head.
‘Sorry, I’d better take it.’ He kisses me again. ‘Don’t move, OK? Stay right there.’ And then he’s pulling on his jeans.
I wave away his apology.
He leaves the room, phone clamped to his ear. ‘Hey…’ The rest of the conversation stolen by the closed door.
I lie back and starfish across my bed. Relishing all the aches in my muscles. I let out a little laugh, pulling up the covers over my mouth.
The door handle creaks as Jack walks back into the room. ‘My brother.’ He wiggles the phone in explanation. ‘He has some news and wants us all to go for lunch at Chadders next Friday.’ He chews the inside of his cheek, looks distracted.
‘Oh. Flicks is showing Sense and Sensibility, but I’m guessing you already know the plot to that one. It’s not one of my top ten…’
‘Hmmm? Oh. Yeah. I’ve seen it actually.’
The air cools around us quickly.
‘It’s late,’ I say. Giving him an escape route.
He nods, eyes still on the phone in his hand.
‘I’ll call you a—’
His eyes flash back up and he sits on the edge of the bed.
‘I don’t suppose Romy would let you have next week off?’
‘Oh, when I mean it’s not in my top ten, I’ll still go and watch it…’
‘No. I meant…’ He shuffles his phone between his hands, the groove between his eyes deepening like he’s thinking of what to say. ‘Do you want to come? To lunch?’
‘But I thought you were going to your parents’?’
‘I am.’
‘Oh! I… I don’t know, I mean…’ I gesture to my body with a grimace.
‘I can tell them about, you know, the germ thing. And I can be by your side, ready to bounce them.’
‘Bounce?’
‘I can be your personal bouncer.’ He pushes down on the bed, making it spring up and down. I let out a snort and he laughs. ‘You know what I mean’ – he lies back beside me, head propped up in his hand – ‘bodyguard. I can be your bodyguard.’
‘I mean, sure? If… is it not a bit too soon?’
‘I think it’s about the right time to meet the parents. And, well, the rest of them.’
‘The whole family is going to be there?’ I pull the covers further up beneath my chin.
‘Yeah. George asked for a full house.’
He brushes my hair away from my forehead. ‘So what do you think? Will you be my date?’
My heart is knocking so hard against my ribcage I’m sure he can hear it too.
‘But…’ What if they see the real me? Someone weird and not good enough for the man lying beside me. ‘What if I’m not…’
‘Maggie?’ His hands are near my face. ‘Close your eyes.’
I do as he says.
‘I’m going to touch you, OK?’
I nod.
His hands settle around my jaw, his thumb stroking my cheek.
This is what I see.
A feeling of calm, happiness and belonging floods through my system.
He describes our time together, like a rolling tape of highlights, directed with the love and adoration of someone who cares deeply about the scenes.
The first glimpse of me in the cinema as the lights came on; my head thrown back laughing; my side profile as I watched the film by the fountain; the rush of need as he kissed me the first time, and the feeling of calm and belonging as I read to him.
He takes his hands away and I open my eyes.
‘They’re going to love you.’