Chapter Seven
Seven
Monday. After my first week, it was evident that Gary was the most pleasant on Mondays. Although, that wasn’t saying much considering he was just as ornery and demanding as ever, but I observed these past two Mondays that he smiled more quietly to himself. It made me think Gary was probably an all right guy outside of the office.
Tuesday. By my second day, I got the hang of inputting invoices into QuickBooks. I still wanted to go back to school, but I was learning what I needed to for free now that I had specific things to look up required for my job. I learned that Martin, Nick, and Ryan all went to OU and were part of the same fraternity. They had a very strange bromance going. They did everything together—work, eat, bathroom breaks. It was a club I’d witnessed all my life and had never been invited to, nor did I have any desire to join their ranks. Lisa kept to herself and ate at her desk always.
Wednesday. I really loved Wednesdays. I ate lunch with Phoebe and Danuwoa every day, but on Wednesday, Phoebe had to eat quickly and run off, so it left Danuwoa and me to sit together. It was something I shouldn’t have indulged in. His smile and singular attention for those thirty minutes left me giddy, but I regulated our conversations to simple, friendly topics. No flirting and no hint of romance. I felt like I was teetering on a very thin tightrope of what was friendly and what was romantic, but as long as we never crossed any physical lines, then we weren’t breaking any of the company rules.
Thursday. I found our payroll specialist, Becky, crying in the bathroom. If she had been in a stall, I could have quietly backed out and left her undisturbed, but she was at the sink splashing water on her face and saw me. She fell prey to a phishing scheme. She really thought Natalie had emailed her asking to change Mr. Stevenson’s bank account. Natalie did not email her and had confronted Becky in the lobby. That’s what I gathered between her sobs. I didn’t even know people could do that to companies. Auntie was always clicking suspicious links emailed to her, but I didn’t realize there was a network of these kinds of scams cashing in on mistakes made at big corporations. I triple-checked every email in my inbox now.
Friday. Becky was not fired, but we all had to watch training videos on how to spot phishing schemes and avoid them. They were more interesting to watch since one of the videos was made by Danuwoa. His deep voice narrated one about spear phishing, which is what happened to Becky, who had thought an email came from a trusted source.
Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Every day blurred together to be much the same, save for Becky falling victim to corporate phishing that one time. I had been at Technix for two weeks now, and this was what I had to say about all the red tape, gatekeepers, and requirements to get this job—all that was pointless. Anyone could do this job. Ember, who only graduated high school, could do this job. Joanna could learn to do this job. Hell, even boneheaded Sage could do this job. That thought made me bitter and a little resentful.
Years, tears, and beers were wasted over me getting to this point. This was boring. I mean, I liked the money, but I honestly didn’t see how any of these people I worked with were better than me for having a four-year college degree. Had I sold myself short with this dream of being an accountant? Maybe I would take up bowling to have some sort of hobby outside of accounting. I was getting my first check today, so I would reserve judgment until I saw the amount—which was going to be a lot. Real money.
I was broke for years because there wasn’t a single company that would hire me without the accounting classes. Then there was all the money I lost because Sage didn’t show up to his hearing. That was some shit. Then there was the fee to get my car out of impound. But my brother was family, as my Auntie liked to remind me, and family was family. We stuck together. Even if my credit score was involved, then I’d like to say To hell with family , but I couldn’t.
Even after everything he’d done, I still sent Sage money and a letter every month. I was practically a saint, I mean really. It was bad what he did, and I was still pissed at him. But there was nothing I could do about it now, and there was no use dwelling; I had things to do. Like errands for Gary.
Gary wanted me to pick up his wife’s dry cleaning. Unbelievable. That was nowhere on the job description, and this woman who stayed at home all day couldn’t handle this herself? Meanwhile, I had to drive my crappy car clear to the other side of town and back. Then I had to run several reports and dashboards for him when I returned to the office. So, what did a vice president of accounting actually do? From what I observed of Gary, he delegated everything and sat in his glass office and attended a lot of meetings.
I finished lunch and was accosted by Gary to immediately “zip out” and do a “quick favor” for him. I will forevermore be wary of any person who describes a task as zipping out for a quick favor. It would inevitably not be quick, and there would be no zipping with traffic downtown. I gathered my things and rushed to my car to get this rich white lady’s clothes before Gary needed me for yet another thing.
There was a line out the door for the dry cleaner’s, and it took me twenty minutes to get to the register. I would have to push my luck with my car and speed all the way back downtown.
“Thirty-two dollars,” the young woman demanded.
“I was told this was paid for.” I couldn’t believe Gary would send me here with no money on a personal errand.
“No, these were thirty-two dollars, and Horowitz still owes for this. It’s been here for two weeks.” She put a plastic-wrapped suit on the counter. “Suits that are cleaned and pressed are fifteen.”
“So, you need forty-seven dollars?”
“And the six-dollar storage fee.”
“Storage fee?”
“I’ve had to hold on to this for two weeks. Does it look like I have extra space?” she asked me.
“Fifty-three dollars? For dresses and a suit? One moment please.” I stepped aside so she could help the next person in line.
I called Gary’s cell and grumbled when it went straight to voicemail. It was 1:50 p.m. and he needed my reports by 3:00 p.m. I was going to have to eat it. I got back in line, and when I made it back to the front, my hand shook as I gave the cashier all the cash in my wallet. I carefully folded the receipt and placed it in my purse. Gary had better reimburse me for this. I snatched the garments and ran out to my car.
The old bastard didn’t start. This was so not the time for it to be acting up. I smacked the engine with my shoe once and tried the ignition. Nothing.
Twice, and tried again. Dead.
The third time I just kept hitting the engine over and over and over again, picturing Gary’s smug face.
Fifty dollars was a lot of money for me, and I couldn’t believe the thoughtlessness of my boss to send me on a personal errand while also expecting me to pay for his wife’s clothes and the suit he forgot about. I was not raised that way. Auntie taught me never to expect any favors from anyone and to pay my own way. She even told me if I couldn’t pay for a meal myself, then I had no business going on a date and relying on someone else to pay for me. She taught me that women had to protect themselves and men expected a lot for a twenty-dollar dinner. I still lived that way.
I slapped the hair out of my face and tried to calm my breathing. The other customers in the shitty strip mall stopped and stared at me. It was the nicest and cleanest strip mall I had ever been to, and that made my anger worse; it was like this neighborhood tried everything to make it seem wealthier and set apart from the rest of Oklahoma. I prayed my engine turned over. I slammed my door shut and took another breath. “Please work,” I begged, and patted the dashboard and then turned my key in the ignition.
It roared to life. Thank fuck!
I never pulled out of a parking lot faster than I did from that one.
The cherry on top of the shit cake was that when I made it back to the office, my laptop would not power on. I snapped it into the dock that was supposed to charge this thing for me and pressed the button.
Could this day get any worse?
“Ember!” Gary’s bark made me jump.
“Yes, sir?”
“Where’s that presentation?”
“Working on it. I’m having computer problems.”
“Well, get IT and fix it. I have to head into the conference room. My part is last on the agenda, so hurry up, then bring the computer to me.”
“Of course.”
I grabbed the desk phone and dialed Danuwoa’s extension. This was the first opportunity I had ever had to call his direct line. The buzzy feeling in my stomach was from stress and nerves and totally not from the rich voice on the other end of the line.
“What can I do for you, Bucky?”
“Don’t call me that,” I groaned. “Can you come to my desk? I’m having a computer emergency.”
“Sure, be right over.”
The seconds stretched for an eternity, and my leg was bouncing a mile a minute as I waited for him to arrive.
“How can I be of service?” Danuwoa asked, casually leaning against the partition.
“My computer won’t turn on, and I have to get this presentation for Gary ready for his meeting that is literally happening right now.”
“Right, sit back, and I’ll take a look. Try to take some deep breaths. It’s all going to be fine; none of our jobs are life-or-death. They can wait a few minutes, or he can email the presentation out after the meeting and mention the technical error.”
My feet pushed off from the carpet, and I wheeled back to give him some space. “With Gary, everything is urgent and a priority.”
I watched as Danuwoa fiddled with my laptop and the docking station. Then he ducked under the desk. “Got it.” He turned his head back to me. “Your foot must have unplugged the power supply. Your laptop is dead; it’ll need a few minutes before it can boot up.”
“The little people,” I cursed under my breath. My leg was bouncing again. “I don’t have time for this.”
Danuwoa got up from his crouched position and sat on the desk, moving Gary’s dry cleaning out of the way, his hands out like he was afraid to startle a skittish horse. “Yes. You. Do.”
I looked at him from under my eyebrows. Not. Helping.
He crossed his arms. I’m. Trying. To.
We both jumped and looked at the screen as it loudly came back to life with the ahh noise. “Finally!”
“Shhh!” The angry sound came from Lisa’s cubicle.
“Sorry!” I whispered loudly, and batted Danuwoa out of the way so I could log in to my laptop.
“Is everything there?” he asked me.
I double-clicked my folder, and the presentation was there and in order.
“Yes!” I went to eject my laptop from the dock, and Danuwoa’s calloused warm hand covered mine, halting me.
“It’s going to die again as soon as you lose power. You need to keep it plugged into the power source to use it.”
“That’s fine.” I slipped under my desk and unplugged the power cord. Popping back up, I unplugged the top part of the charger from the docking station, took my laptop, and headed right for the conference room, thanking Danuwoa over my shoulder.
I waited outside the glass for an opportunity to knock. I didn’t want to disturb the man talking. Gary knew I was there because he shot me a glare through the see-through door, and he motioned with his hand to get over there. I knocked anyway to be polite.
A blond man had his back to the door, but at my knock, he swiveled around in his chair and welcomed me in with a dashing smile.
You know, if Gary had a smile like that, I would gladly get his dry cleaning. I mean, wow. Unreal.
“Come in,” the grump ordered. His voice was sharp. I fucking hated Gary.
I tiptoed my way across the conference room while one of the guys in finance was reporting to Mr. Stevenson and Natalie Sanchez. Oh god, I would have really liked to slip by my whole career and not garner her notice. I could feel her questioning gaze on me as I sat next to Gary and opened my laptop, then I dived under the conference desk to find the outlet hidden in the floor. Was it dignified? No. The man speaking paused for a moment but then resumed.
I popped back up and smiled at Gary. He tried to eviscerate me with his eyes. The feeling was mutual, man. I didn’t want to be there, and I sure as shit didn’t want to get his wife’s dry cleaning, but here we were.
The older gentleman to the blond’s right kept flipping through his slides as Gary asked me sharply under his breath, “Where the hell have you been?”
He couldn’t be serious. “I was getting your dry clean—”
“Shut up. Open up the reports and don’t say anything,” he ordered in a hushed whisper.
I sat there absorbing everything that was said in the meeting, typing copious notes. I surmised based on the material and the slides that this was a joint finance-and-accounting meeting. The blond was Kyle Matthews, director of finance. He was upbeat and engaging, garnering everyone’s attention as he provided a quick update on the forecast. I made a note to google forecasting . Then Mr. Stevenson took over talking. My fingers could barely keep up typing. I couldn’t believe I was sitting in a meeting with the CEO of the company.
I glanced at Gary, who was sitting stone-faced. I was unsure how he could sit there doing nothing while the CEO was telling the finance and accounting teams the project he wanted completed for improving our systems and efficiency. I didn’t understand all of it, but I did understand that if a directive came from the chief executive officer, then it was a big deal.
“Horowitz, you’re up. Tell me how we’re doing cleaning up the disaster that was our Portland office. What’s going on with the accounts payable?”
Gary turned his head to face Mr. Stevenson. “I have my new assistant to help me comb through the documents, but it’s a huge mess and it will take time.”
I gave Gary some major side-eye—was he serious? All the files he dumped on my desk my first day were for Portland. I finished those. In fact, those were the reports I had pulled up on my laptop.
“Actually, I finished those. We reconciled one hundred twenty-five thousand dollars in accounts payable.” I turned my laptop around on the table toward Mr. Stevenson and Natalie.
“It looks like you have no idea what’s going on in your own department, Horowitz,” Mr. Stevenson said as he stretched his arms overhead.
“She’s new and we are still working on communication,” my boss said, giving me the fakest smile. I had seen that predatory smile countless times in my life from various men. It promised retribution.
“Marvelous. Looks like we’re done here.” Mr. Stevenson stood up and walked out of the room, Gary on his heels. The older guy who was presenting, the vice president of finance, Grayson Adams, gave me a bewildered look and left.
Then it was just Kyle, Natalie, and me left in the room.
“That took balls, kid.” Kyle shook his head to himself and gathered his things.
Kid? This was the first time I met with this man and he said that to me?
“Was that bad?” I asked. How could it be bad? I answered the CEO’s question!
“You just made Gary your enemy. My advice? Don’t talk unless you’re spoken to. That was some unnecessary attention you just drew to yourself, and you’re an accounting assistant. This was an executive meeting. You had no business saying anything. Good luck fixing that mess.” He winked at Natalie with a wolfish grin and left.
Kyle was an ass. A beautiful, belittling ass, but could he be right? I mean, I was a nobody, but to have someone tell me so to my face? I had never been so embarrassed, and I’d just come from assaulting my car in a strip mall parking lot.
I put my head in my hands, trying to muster the courage to face Gary.
“Don’t listen to Kyle,” Natalie said. She had silently moved closer to me. I had forgotten she was there.
“He’s right. I’m a big fat nobody who was lucky to land this job.” I rested my cheek on my fist; my slouch over the table would put Quasimodo to shame. I wanted to curl into myself and disappear.
“From the looks of it, we were lucky to get you. When did you start?” She rested her crossed arms over her baby bump.
“Two weeks ago.”
“In two weeks, you fixed the accounting mess that Gary had been putting off for four months. What are your goals?”
“My goals? Like in life?”
“For your career. Do you want to move up in accounting?”
“It would be nice to be an accountant and not just an accounting assistant.”
“Where were you before you walked into this meeting?”
I wasn’t sure if I should tell her I was running a personal errand for Gary and his wife, but seeing as how he was probably going to fire me for speaking up in this meeting, what did I have to lose?
“Mrs. Horowitz needed her dry cleaning picked up,” I said, trying to mask the disdain in my voice, but my face was an open book.
Natalie laughed. Encouraged, I kept going. “The worst part was that he had a suit he forgot about, and no one bothered to pay the dry-cleaning lady!”
“No!”
“Yes! Gary never answered my calls.”
“So, you paid for it?”
“Of course! Over fifty dollars!”
“What?! No way, why did you pay over fifty dollars in Oklahoma for dry cleaning?”
“That’s what I thought. They were his wife’s dresses and they looked expensive. I don’t know. I just created a mess.” I put my face in my hands.
“Hey, chin up. You’re doing fine, trust me. And don’t worry about Gary, okay?”
I lifted my head and watched as Natalie waddled out of the conference room before I rallied my courage to return to my desk.
Over the sea of gray cubicles, I could see Danuwoa’s head as he walked along the opposite side of the floor. He smiled and waved as he navigated his way toward me. He pushed an IT cart full of miscellaneous electrical equipment. An old printer sat on top with cords and wires sticking out each way on the cart.
“Where did you find all that old junk?” I asked him, because this was a fairly modern office.
“This is all from the executive floor. Legacy stuff Mr. Stevenson wants gone. Could you use a printer? It works fine.”
“Actually, I could. Thank you. Are you sure it’s okay that I take it?”
“It’s fine. It’s either someone uses it, or we take it out to a field and Office Space its ass.”
“Forget it, I’ve lived this long without a printer. I got a baseball bat in my trunk.” I was serious; that was my weapon for when my piece-of-shit car broke down on the side of the road.
“Skoden.” Danuwoa winked at me.
“Would it be an authentic Office Space printer ass-kicking since this particular printer has never done anything to me?”
“It does seem like an unjust fate for this beauty.” Danuwoa rubbed the plastic side of the printer like it was a tame horse.
“I could use it, and if it acts up, then we can take it to a field and beat it to shit.”
“Deal,” he said with a laugh.
I had just scored a free printer.
“Ember!” Gary shouted and pointed to my desk.
“I’ll catch up with you at the end of the day about the printer. Good luck with that.” Danuwoa wheeled my new printer and the rest of the junk away. I ran to my cubicle.
“Mr. Horowitz, I—”
“Sit down.”
I didn’t want to obey his command, but the tone of his voice and red face had my ass in my seat in under two seconds. Angry men like Gary were a dime a dozen where I was from.
As soon as my butt hit my chair, his seething face was inches from mine.
“Never, and I mean never , embarrass me like that again. You know nothing. I looked up your résumé, and you have a basic accounting certificate from a crap community college. What makes your ignorant ass think you can understand anything that is going on at a tech company after two weeks?”
“Associate’s degree,” I mumbled. I knew what I made up on my résumé.
“Excuse me?” His eyes screamed murder. I should have shut up. A smart me would have looked down and not said anything, but I was not smart. I was a smart- ass , and there was a difference.
“I have an associate’s degree from a ‘crap community college.’ Not a certificate.” I didn’t have either, but I had to defend my fake education. I didn’t want any red flags with changes in my story.
“So, you’re a smart-ass, huh?”
Obviously. I just went over this.
There was a very heavily pregnant pause. He took a deep breath, and then Gary’s voice got lethally quiet. “You better wise up and shut up. Got it? You do as I say and never speak to executives like Mr. Stevenson without my permission again.”
“I’m sorry, sir. It won’t happen again.” I wasn’t good enough to talk in a meeting, but I never ghosted my dry-cleaning person. Granted, I have only ever dry-cleaned one thing in my life—it was my high school graduation dress, which I had found at the thrift store—but I picked it up and paid on time. So, what made these “executives” so special where normal people couldn’t even talk to them?
Gary straightened to his full height, which was only slightly taller than my five feet six inches, but he was a stocky man that just took up space. I mean really, how could men just go about taking up space like that? In my cubicle no less! Why were women supposed to make themselves smaller when men like Gary got to puff up their chests and just invade spaces that weren’t theirs? He made me so mad. I wanted my fifty-three dollars back, and I wanted a boss who didn’t look at me like he promised death in my near future.
“Would now be a bad time to ask about reimbursing me for your dry cleaning?” I gave him a saccharine smile.
Gary’s chest heaved as he took another huge breath. He snatched the plastic-wrapped garments off my desk and stormed away, glaring daggers at me.
I guess that was my penance. Had I known, I would have just left the dry cleaner’s without his clothes. He was pissed regardless. I looked down at my hands, and they were shaking. I had to watch my back with Gary.