Chapter Fourteen
Fourteen
The first few weekends not at the bowling alley were a nice break, but when Joanna was busy working, I had nothing to do. I was conditioned to wake up early and had already brought my laundry back from the laundromat. My pent-up energy needed a release before driving down to my auntie’s home. My home. She was a late riser on the weekends.
I was dreading this visit. I knew she would ask me about Sage, and I just didn’t have the mental or emotional capacity to be understanding. Sage had burned her time and again, and yet her doors were always open to him. But that bail money was my college fund. I’d scrimped for years to save enough for school, and him skipping out on his hearing meant my money was forfeit. The wound was still too raw.
I bleached the tub and toilet, vacuumed and dusted all six hundred square feet of the apartment. I couldn’t delay the inevitable any longer. I hopped in my car and got on I-40 East. It was hot and perfectly clear. Not a single cloud floated in the sky.
I loved driving out to the country. Honestly, I missed living in the country. There was a lot of criticism about Oklahoma. I’d heard it all my life. It was flat. There were tornadoes. There was nothing here. Yes, it was flat, but driving on these country roads, you could see the expanse of the plains. The tall grass, the wheels of hay for cattle. The red earth wet from the rain. It smelled fresh and clean. It was quiet and peaceful. This was what Oklahoma really was. Beautiful.
It would be nice to one day buy a big house out here. Maybe even get a pet, like a goat or something. When I couldn’t sleep, I loved watching videos of baby goats in pajamas hopping around.
I zoomed on 3 West, as fast as my car could go, toward Ada. I was pushing my luck with the car, but I wanted to get to Auntie’s house as fast as I could. The drive was nice, and I was beginning to relax when a loud, fizzy sound started coming from the engine. That couldn’t be good. Then— pop! —smoke started spewing from the hood.
I was hacking and couldn’t see shit as I swerved my car to the shoulder along the side of the highway.
This was probably the worst-case scenario. The car itself was trash, but getting out of it to check what was going on under my hood could be life or death. I would be an open target. Easy for someone to grab and drive off. I could end up as one of the missing and murdered. I rolled my windows up to offer myself some protection, but I was already coated in sweat from the summer heat. My cell phone had half a bar of reception out here. Most people I had encountered were friendly, but girls like me didn’t know who we could trust. Anyone could stop and offer help, but then grab me the next second. I’d grown up hearing so many stories about this exact situation.
I tried to calm my breathing, but the car was too hot. I rolled the driver’s side window down another half an inch. Any potential murderer would have to have very skinny fingers and arms to get through the gap and unlock the door.
I hadn’t even wanted to come, and now I would either have to die of heatstroke or take my chances walking to the gas station that I knew was a mile up ahead.
I slammed the wheel. The impact made my ugly freaky lizard key chain swing back and forth. I ripped my keys from the dead ignition and screamed at the thing. “You were supposed to be good luck! Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!” That felt good, but I needed to take action and save myself. Joanna didn’t answer her phone, but I sent her a pin of my location. If anything did happen to me, someone had better know exactly where I was when I stopped and where I was going.
I called my auntie. “Sweet girl, you on your way?” she asked me.
“I am close…ish, but my car broke down. Could you come get me?”
“Shit, Sage is running an errand in my car. Let me call him and have him come get you.”
Sage. My brain froze. As if this day couldn’t get any worse.
“Sage is out of jail?”
“Yeah, he was let out early for good behavior and overcrowding. That’s what I have been trying to tell you.” I ignored her tone. I was in no mood for a lecture.
Sage was better than being left stranded. “Okay, I am like a mile or so from the gas station on Highway 3.”
With my auntie on the line, I braved getting out and opened the hood.
“Fucksake!” The hood was so hot, it was a miracle I was able to take the stand and lock the hood up. The poor car hacked and coughed as it spit out gray smoke.
“You think maybe it’s time to buy a new car?” She laughed. “No weirdos have stopped, have they?”
I suddenly heard honking that grew louder by the second.
“No, but I think one is about to.” I ran to my trunk to get my emergency baseball bat.
“Stay on the line with me.” Her voice grew scared, and my stomach was in knots.
I waved the smoke away from my face with the bat to see what I was in for, and a familiar hunter-green Chevy slowed down and pulled over in front of my car.
Danuwoa hopped out, squinting against the sun.
“What the hell are you doing?”
I pointed at my phone lodged between my shoulder and cheek with the bat and said, “Calling for help.”
“Can I give you a lift?”
Creator was testing me, tempting me to break the stupid Technix no-dating policy. But I could really use a ride, and it was almost fate that Danuwoa had happened upon me. And it was better than being stuck in a car with my brother.
“Yes!” I beamed at him. Into the phone I breathed, “Don’t bother Sage. My friend was driving by and is giving me a ride. I’ll see you soon.” I ran to my passenger door and grabbed my stuff. “Thank you so much. It’s dead. It died a horrible and painful death,” I told Danuwoa as he approached me.
“It lived a long and fulfilling life. A valiant effort that should be commended. The Ford Contour is no more.” He placed his hand over his heart, and with his other sent a kiss up to Creator. At my laugh he gave the smoking car a small bow.
More laughter bubbled out of me once my body realized I was safe.
“It might be a tight squeeze. Walela is with me, and she’s in her regalia.” He pointed, and I followed his thumb. Poking out of the window was the smiling face of a young woman wearing thick black glasses, with a tin crown on her head reflecting the bright sun like a safety beacon. Relief washed over me.
“Heading to a pageant?” I asked.
“I’ll let her tell you.” He opened the passenger door and said, “Walela, meet my coworker and friend Ember. Ember, this is my sister, Walela.”
“Hi, Ember! Are you okay?” Her infectious smile morphed into a concerned frown with her question. Walela’s robin’s-egg blue dress was trimmed in red ribbons, and she carried a hawk feather smudge fan. The sash across her chest read miss indian oklahoma .
Danuwoa answered for me. “She is now. Hop out so Ember can squeeze in and we can drop her off.”
“Are you coming to the ribbon-cutting ceremony too?” Walela pushed her glasses up her nose as I climbed into the truck.
“I wish! I’m going to visit my aunt. She lives outside of Ada.”
Walela followed behind me and closed the door. She adjusted her crown and arranged her dress to avoid any wrinkles.
“You look very pretty. That color looks great on you.”
“Thank you! It’s my favorite color. I’m the first girl with Down syndrome to win the title.” She nodded with much-deserved pride.
Danuwoa’s weight shook the cab as he slid into his seat. “Ready?”
The bench seat in the truck felt very small as my bare thigh pressed against Danuwoa’s denim-covered leg. My tank top was wet from my sweating buckets in my car, and even though the deodorant was advertised as extra strength and lasted forty-eight hours, I could smell that it had lied. Was this penance for all the tiny fibs I told around Danuwoa?
I was wet and stinky sitting next to this gorgeous man and his sweet sister in her beautiful regalia. I really hoped my smell didn’t rub off on her.
This was really too much. I was brought to Ada under vague and false pretenses so my aunt could facilitate some sort of reconciliation. Ha! Sage would have to apologize and admit to his wrongdoings before I could even consider that. Knowing him all my life, I was sure that it was an impossibility. He was too self-centered and reckless to ever show remorse.
“Whoa, careful. Your thoughts look like they are physically causing you pain. How do you get your eyebrows so close together like that? Walela, look. Ember gave herself a unibrow!”
She giggled while I tried to rub the tension out of my forehead.
“What’s the ribbon-cutting ceremony for?” I asked her, to change the subject.
“A new tribal youth building is opening, and the newspaper will be there. I get to cut the ribbon with the other Indian princesses.”
“Do you get to use those jumbo scissors?” I asked.
“Yes! But they only have one pair, and we all have to try to hold them. It’s annoying.”
“Do you elbow them out of the way so you can be the only one holding the scissors?” I asked her.
“No, I sometimes make them uncomfortable by mentioning that I have Down syndrome and really love holding the scissors. They usually give them up real quick.” She laughed, mischief twinkling in her eyes.
My kind of girl. I was impressed. I loved a good guilt trip.
“ Walela ,” Danuwoa warned. “You aren’t supposed to do that.” He rubbed his face to hide his smile and kept one hand on the wheel. He looked sexy driving this old truck with the window down and his hair floating along in the wind. His knowing eyes met mine, catching me as I was appreciating him. Then he flexed his bicep, subtly tightening his muscle as he casually held on to the steering wheel. I couldn’t contain the cackle that erupted from me. It was so ridiculous. I was a mess with my hair plastered to my face and neck, and he was flirting with me.
I loved it, and that terrified me. This was not supposed to happen. Danuwoa and I were supposed to maintain our distance outside of the office. After the bar and now this, my feelings were all levels of confusion.
We continued to drive, and I was silent, waiting for my exit to get out of this truck and calm my racing brain. I was carless, on my way to my aunt’s house. My convict brother was home, and it was all too much. Just pile after pile of shit. And here I was in between Danuwoa, who had never been anything but kind to me, and his sister. I was this wet, smelly mess. I felt tainted and unworthy of whatever this kindness was. If I had met Danuwoa at the bowling alley before Technix, none of this would have been a problem. I would have felt like his equal. Just two Natives in Oklahoma having fun. But what made me feel icky was that I had lied to even be in the same stratosphere as Danuwoa at Technix. He didn’t have to lie to get his job or keep it. Then there was the no-dating policy at work. This was a tug and pull between Danuwoa and me.
He had been my lifeline at the office since I joined, so kind and helpful. He was always sending me jokes on Teams. After the almost kiss at the bar, I stayed up late at night imagining what it would be like to belong to him, to really kiss him, and I think he wondered the same. The way he waited for me to get on the elevator or offered to get me coffee made me feel like he cared about me as a lot more than just his coworker. But I couldn’t trust that. Danuwoa could have anyone, and he was so good at flirting, it was probably just a casual thing for him that I built up in my head. There had been a few cute guys at work at the bowling alley over the years, and Joanna and I would get “work crushes.” And that was all they ever were, just fun distractions to flirt with to make the shift go faster.
Whatever this was with Danuwoa and me was all it would ever be. A distraction.
He mentioned he supported his sister, and after meeting her, there was no way I could allow Danuwoa to straddle the line with me. He could get in trouble or fired if people thought we were dating. I couldn’t allow that. I was resolved. Danuwoa would stay a friendly coworker.
That’s how it had to be.
Finally, my exit. I was a few minutes from home. I would be walking into a shit show, but that was normal. Bringing a man like Danuwoa home was not normal. Further, I couldn’t allow Danuwoa anywhere near my family when they could very much mention the fact that I had lied about a few things. I wanted to trust that if he discovered I had insufficient education or experience and blatantly lied to get this job, he wouldn’t throw me under the bus and shun me for being a fraud. But this was me, and I didn’t have a track record for good luck.
“Pull off here,” I said, pointing. I navigated the rest of the way as Walela told Danuwoa everything she was excited about doing at this ribbon-cutting ceremony.
Auntie’s mobile home was old and dirty on the outside. She said it was yellow when she got it, but it looked kind of dingy brown now. The outside did not reflect the care and order she kept inside. “We’re here.”
Danuwoa slowed down to a stop and parked.
“We grew up in a house like this,” Walela said.
“Yes, we did.” Danuwoa smiled. “Hop out.”
I turned to crawl after her, but he caught the bottom edge of my tank top to stop me.
“Can I help you?” I asked with mock outrage.
“Wait a minute. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“The last twenty minutes you were wound tight like a ball. What’s going on?”
“Just family drama, you know?”
He leveled that narrowed expression with one eyebrow raised that silently said, Clearly, I don’t.
I gave him my own look and made sure my eyes said, It’s none of your damn business .
He rolled his eyes, and I looked down at where he still held my shirt. He let go and threw his hands up.
“I just want to help.” That was the problem. I didn’t need help. I had managed everything for everyone on my own, and I couldn’t get used to someone helping me, or I’d never be able to shoulder these burdens on my own again when that someone inevitably left.
I needed to keep my job and my lies under wraps, and I needed to stay away from a man like Danuwoa. He could do better than my messy ass. There was someone out there softer, easier. He needed that. That was what was different about us. He needed , and I couldn’t give any more parts of myself away. I had Sage, Auntie, and Joanna, and the small part of me left had to finish school and build a stable life for myself. I could not afford distractions. But he did help me today, in a huge way. It may seem dramatic, but had I been left on the side of that road, sure, maybe Sage would have made it. Maybe a tow company would have eventually come. But there was a very real possibility that I could’ve been in danger.
“Thank you for stopping when you saw me.”
“It was a happy coincidence. Do you need a ride home later? The pageant should only take a couple hours.”
I should have said no. I should have kept my distance for every thought I just had, but I was selfish. I needed an out so I would not be stuck here overnight or in the car with Sage. Having a timer and a ride was my perfect escape.
“Actually, that would be great—if you really don’t mind. Whenever you’re able to get me is totally fine.”
“Great. I’ll text you when we’re on our way.”
I got out and hugged Walela. I hoped the other girls gave her the scissors.
I waved them off and saw my aunt standing in the doorway, hands on her hips. I braced myself.