Chapter 17
The scent of smoke and meat fills my nose, the sizzle of the heat from the barbecue buzzing in my ears as I flip the burgers. Behind me, Sera, Levi and Luca are setting the table on the patio. I can hear the clink of glasses and cutlery as they chatter amongst themselves, about nothing and everything. It’s seamless how those three can fall into conversation, never forcing a subject. I realize how much I’ve missed in such a short amount of time because that used to be us. I used to be the one to make her laugh effortlessly. I used to be the one who could bring a smile to her face, even when she didn’t want to.
That’s all changed now. I’ve lost three months with Sera, and in that time, she found two other guys to replace me.
“You’re gonna burn the meat,” Sera teases from behind me.
I smile at her words, turning my head to get a good look at her. She’s changed from her black bikini into a red strappy dress that flows just above her knees. The sun has given her skin a subtle glow that I can make out even in the low light of the patio, and her dark eyes glisten as she steps a little closer to me. Her hair falls in long waves, windblown and wild. And all I want to do is pull her to me and kiss those soft lips again. With just one kiss, she’s destroyed me. Owned me. Changed me on a cellular level from the man I was before I died to the man I am now. Hers.
Since our kiss earlier on the beach, we haven’t really spoken. Levi and Luca were hollering as soon as it happened, ultimately distracting us, and before we could clear the air, she was darting back into the sea to join them. After that, we all agreed to wash up while I started on the grill, leaving the two of us no time to sit down and talk about what happened.
I feel like I’m acting like a goddamn girl about this. All this time I’ve craved Sera, wanted her in ways I knew I couldn’t. We’ve been toeing the line for years, conscious that what we were to one another could never be more. Maybe that’s just our mentalities, though. Because on the day I died, I admitted what she meant to me, and those were words I’d never uttered to a single soul before her.
I continue flipping the burgers, keeping an eye on the level of heat emitting from the grill. I’m in no way a master at barbecuing, but out of all of us here, we stood the best chance of actually being able to eat if I cooked.
“How long?” Levi calls from the table, twisting the cap off his beer before taking a swig.
“Just waiting for you all to haul ass and come and get it!” I snark.
In less than two seconds, Levi and Luca are fighting their way towards me with their plates, eager to be the first in line.
“Careful!” Sera scolds. “There’s enough for everybody.”
“Luca is just desperate for meat,” Levi comments, shoving Luca sideways.
I cringe a little at the reference. I’m not homophobic, but I’m still coming to terms with the reality that my cousin isn’t as straight as I thought he was three months ago. While I’d rather not delve into the details of how he discovered his sexual preference, I’m happy for him. I’ve never seen him smile as much as he has today.
As for Luca, that guy hardly smiles anyway. But today, I’ve heard him laugh and joke more times than I can count on my fingers.
Luca hands me his plate and I dish out a couple of burgers and sausages onto it. It’s a meek feast in comparison to the usual dinners we’ve all attended. But this is different, this is something special that we all wanted to share with Sera. I’m certain it doesn’t matter what we eat as long as we’re all here.
“Don’t fill up too much on sausages, Pretty Boy.” Levi slaps Luca’s ass as he walks past them.
“You won’t be saying that later,” Luca laughs lightly. It still feels so alien to hear this side of him. He’s usually the brooding type that sits in the corner scowling at you while silently judging everything you do.
Sera lets out a snort, quickly composing herself when I dart her a suspicious glance. Then her eyes suddenly widen, like she’s realized what’s just been said. “Wait!” She frowns at Levi. “You guys…?”
At first, Levi is hesitant, apparently contemplating his answer. But when he glances over at Luca, who is already stuffing his face, Levi’s lips split into a smile. “Yeah, you could say we’ve gotten to know each other a little better.”
“I need the details,” Sera demands, shoving him sideways so she can fill her plate.
“Later, Bellissima,” Levi chuckles.
I raise a brow at her when Luca returns to the table. “You’re really not bothered by that?”
Her brow furrows, and suddenly I feel like the biggest asshole. I know she cares for them both equally, which I’m still confused as fuck about. But I’m still trying to wrap my head around things, around this dynamic. Nothing about this is normal in any society, but the fact Sera is truly happy is evident. I wasn’t lying when I said I want to be a part of that. I want to be the reason she smiles like she does when she’s with each of them. But I don’t know if I can compete with other men for her attention. I don’t know if I can share her the way she wants.
“What’s wrong with you?” Levi asks me.
“Nothing,” I mutter, turning my attention to the grill.
“You’re lying. Tell me,” he demands.
I place the meat on it before shaking my head at him. “I’d just rather not hear about my cousin taking it up the ass.”
Judging by the look on Levi’s face, I’ve just committed the worst offense in the world, and for a split second, I wish the earth would open beneath my feet and swallow me up. But then his lips kick up into a smile and he grabs my shoulder, leaning in.
“Trust me, you don’t know what you’re missing.”
I don’t respond. I’d like to keep things the way they are—preferably with my asshole still intact. So I just bite my tongue and join them all at the table.
Two hours go by where we lose ourselves in conversation. The drinks are flowing and we’re all enjoying sharing old memories and jokes. Even Luca throws me a compliment here and there, which stuns me into silence one too many times. It seems too easy for us to be able to sit and talk like this. It feels as though this is how it’s always been. Us four, our group. Seamless. Effortless. Relaxed.
This side of the friendship is what I’ve missed. As a kid, I looked forward to the days I’d get to spend with Sera. Even with Levi, there was never a dull moment. Maybe I’m thinking too much into things, or maybe it’s the alcohol, but I’m suddenly overwhelmed with all the memories we’ve made over the years.
I’m abruptly snapped out of my thoughts when something soft bounces off my head. It lands on the deck with barely a sound, but when I look down to see it’s a bread roll, I dart my gaze around to size up the culprit.
The only problem is, everyone is looking equally as guilty as the next.
Picking it up off the floor, I toss the bread roll in the air, weighing up my options. And when I hear Sera’s soft, nervous giggle pierce the silence, I know she’s the offender.
I bounce up from my seat, about to round the table, when her scream pierces the air and she bolts from her chair to seek protection behind Levi.
“Nuh uh.” I shake my head. “That’s not how this works.”
“Enzo,” she laughs, holding her hands up. “It was—”
I dart her way, scooping her up by the waist before she can make an escape. She wriggles and writhes, her legs flailing with her back to my chest as I walk us towards the pool. “Say you’re sorry,” I growl in her ear, holding her body suspended over the water.
“Hmm…” Sera shakes her head, hands gripping my wrists.
It’s funny how she thinks that will prevent the inevitable. Either way, she’s getting dunked in this pool. I give her one more chance to concede and beg for forgiveness, but her stubbornness plays into my favor. I swing her back and forth in warning, and just as she yelps, I toss her into the pool.
The water splashes around her as she drops beneath the surface. When she bobs back up for air, coughing and spluttering, she’s got a scowl on her face that is too damn cute to take seriously.
“Don’t give me that,” I chuckle, crouching down to offer her my hand. “You had it...fuuuuck!”
My body is thrown forward, the cold water enveloping me and stealing the air from my lungs. I push through to the surface, spotting Levi and Luca standing at the pool edge laughing together, and though I should be pissed, this kind of entertainment is exactly what we need.
I glance over at Sera who is slowly gliding towards me, smiling so widely that my own lips spread to match her happiness. She wraps her arms around my neck, her warm body pressing into mine.
My hands instinctively wrap around her waist, holding her steadily against me. Her lashes flutter, beads of water trickling down her face and dripping past her glistening lips. As I look at her, I’m immediately floored by how beautiful she looks with the alcohol induced glow on her cheeks and the glazed look in her eyes. Sometimes I wonder whether she even realizes how stunning she really is. She’s undeniably attractive, sure. But it’s the other parts of her people take for granted that stand out to me; her ability to forgive, to move on, to fight for what she loves.
She leans in, brushing her lips against mine, teasing.
A breath filled with hesitation and desire parts my lips, and Sera takes it as an invitation to tilt her mouth against mine, kissing me so intensely I forget that I’m treading water for the both of us. I break it for just a second, guiding us to the shallower part of the pool, only to pin her against the wall and take her lips again.
She opens her mouth, allowing my tongue to slide against hers, delving deeper. She wraps her legs around my waist, moaning softly when my hand makes its way up the back of her neck and into her hair. I yank her head back to run my lips across her neck and my dick twitches when she gasps. Everything about this feels surreal. One blink and I’m afraid this might all be a dream.
I’ll be damned if this is taken away from me, though. The day I died was the day I realized just how much I wanted to live, and I’m not ready to let that go just yet. I remember everything I felt that day, every vivid emotion.
I pull away abruptly, my train of thought suddenly flooding me with worry.
“Don’t stop,” she whisper-moans.
“What about them?” I grimace at how much of a pussy I sound right now, but the last thing I want is for Sera to regret this. We’ve skated around the real topic of what this is for us. Sure, I’ve told her how I feel, only not in so many words. But that’s the beauty of our friendship, she can read me and I can read her.
Stop being a pussy.
I turn to look over my shoulder to see the boys throwing back beers, Luca with his arm over the back of Levi’s chair as he whispers something in my cousin’s ear.
Sera peers over at the boys, smirking as her brown eyes meet mine. “What about them?”
I press my forehead to hers, slowly closing my eyes as I let my thoughts spill out. “Sera, I don’t know how to do this. How—”
My words are stunted as Sera slams her mouth onto mine. She’s eager in the way she devours my lips, but innocent enough to let me take the lead when I realize I shouldn’t be taking this moment for granted. She slides her fingers through my hair, her nails digging into my scalp. The kiss feels hot and heavy, like we’re a pair of teenagers who’ve just discovered how good kissing is.
Eventually, Sera pulls away, but not before pecking my lips one more time. “There are no instructions for this sort of thing. No rules, Enzo.”
“So you just decide who you want to be with?”
She shakes her head with a smile. “I just go with the flow.” Her face lights up when she locks eyes with Levi, and I don’t miss the wink he sends her way. I should feel some kind of jealousy over that, but as hard as I search for it, I can’t find that emotion.
“Besides,” Sera mutters. “They like each other’s company, too.”
She turns my head back to hers with her palm against my cheek, drawing us into another kiss fueled by memories and unspoken emotions. My cock is hard against her hot center, desperate to fill her just so I can confirm this isn’t a dream.
“I don’t know if I can share you,” I growl my honesty against her lips.
She pulls away, tilting her head as she tries to prevent the worry from showing on her face. It’s too late, though. Her eyes are already rounding, softening as she battles whatever thoughts are swirling around in that pretty head. “Try?” she pleads.
It takes me a hot second to weigh up the situation and my options. Levi and Luca are part and parcel of this dynamic. All three come as a package. But the question is: where do I fit in with all of that?
“I’ll never be able to choose,” she reminds me, apprehension and sadness lacing her words. “You said you wouldn’t—”
“I won’t,” I growl, cementing my decision. Grabbing her by the waist, I walk us over to the steps of the pool and amble out. She’s still clutching my neck, legs tightening around me as gravity comes into play. I march us inside without saying a word to the guys. I sense that if they had a problem with this, they’d have already voiced their opinions. “But you’re going to have to be patient with me, okay?”
Slowly, she nods her head in agreement, and that’s all the confirmation I need before I’m ascending the stairs to my room. I chose this place because we’d all have our own room. I assumed everyone would be comfortable with that, but clearly Levi and Luca had other ideas.
I push through the door to my bedroom, water soaking into the carpet as I walk us to the bed, and drop down onto it with Sera still clinging to me. As soon as my body makes contact with the mattress, she pushes me backwards and starts peeling off her dress. Her tits spill out beautifully, the peaked nipples glistening as water droplets trickle over her chest.
I lick my lips, imagining how they’d feel beneath my tongue.
But I don’t have to imagine. She’s right here.
I lean forward, taking one in my mouth, and she moans so prettily that my dick fights against my soaked jeans. The ache only worsens when Sera rubs her pussy against me, her fingers tugging at my hair as I suck on her nipple and roll it with my tongue.
I release it with a loud pop, my eyes lighting up when I see the mark left on her skin. She groans slightly as I rub my thumb over her other nipple, teasing and taunting until she’s gasping and writhing for more.
“Enzo,” she moans, the sound making it even harder to rein in my self control.
I roll her over onto her back, conscious of the fresh scar that now decorates her skin and look down at her. There’s so much I want to say to Sera, but I know words will never be enough. I wish I could show her just how much it hurt me to watch her move on with her life. I want to prove that her loss was mine too, and that if I could take it all back, I’d do it in a heartbeat.
Instead, I’ll just have to prove that my loyalty to her outweighs any plans her father ever had. I have to show Sera that I can be the guy she needs, the same person she grew up with who devoted his life to her—whether she knew that or not.
Her eyes draw to the scar on my chest, and I can see the guilt painted across her beautiful features as she strokes a finger over the raised flesh. I push her hair away from her face, dropping a kiss to her swollen lips. “I’d take a thousand bullets for you,” I murmur.
She smiles up at me, her eyes going glossy. “Even one bullet is too many.”
Her words set fire to my heart. They hit the depths of my soul, and I want to lay everything bare for her. At the hint of her sincerity, I’m lost. My heart hammers against my ribcage, my pulse racing as she draws me to her lips once more, sealing her words with the only thing that can cement what this is between us. Her hands slide up my chest, picking at the buttons of my shirt. The wet material sticks to my skin, making it difficult to remove. The longer it takes, the more impatient we grow, until I’m tearing my clothes off my body with feverish intent.
“Shit,” Sera gasps, her eyes widening as she pushes up on her elbows, her gaze fixated on my cock. She licks her lips, slowly lifting her chin to peer up at me. “Please tell me that feels as good as it looks.”
I glance down at what has her so enraptured—my Prince Albert piercing—and smirk. “Oh, baby,” I growl, fisting my cock leisurely. “You have no idea.”
Excitement brews in her eyes as her naked chest heaves. Her lips glisten from licking them hungrily, and I’d be a liar if I said I wasn’t already thinking about those lips wrapped around my cock.
As if she can read my mind, she leans forward, replacing my hand with her own and stroking me firmly. She licks the tip, sending a shockwave of pleasure coursing through my body. I shudder, trying to keep my self-control intact.
She slides the head of my cock past her lips, the heat of her mouth wrapping around me. She pumps expertly, like she’s been sucking cock her whole life—or maybe it’s the anticipation I’ve built up to this moment. Either way, I don’t want it to stop, and when she pulls me deeper, the piercing hitting the back of her throat, I definitely don’t want this to end.
I slide my fingers through her hair, barely guiding her to where I want her to be because she seems to know exactly what I want and how I want it. She moves with intent, sucking and slurping, running her tongue along the underside of my shaft all the way to the tip. When she reaches the piercing, she gives it a tug with her teeth, and that’s my undoing.
Without warning, I push her backwards, her body bouncing gently as she hits the mattress. I spread her legs and bow down to the pussy I’m about to devour, tearing away the pathetic excuse for underwear with one single yank. My eyes hone in on her pretty pink pussy, glistening with excitement. The sight damn near makes me blow my load.
I dive straight in, licking a path from her entrance to her clit, relishing the way her body writhes beneath me. I swirl my tongue around her sensitive bud, listening to the moans that make my dick throb. With my hands on her thighs, I split her wider, darting my tongue into her hot center, lapping up her juices like a starved man. She grips the sheets beside her hips, her legs quivering as I nip at her clit, sucking it into my mouth. Sera not only looks like a fucking angel, but she sounds and tastes like one—if angels had a specific taste, it’d be her.
Sera’s gasps and moans fill the room, and if I weren’t already on my knees for her, I would be after hearing those delicious sounds. It spurs me on to slide a finger into her pussy. Her walls clench and before I even get another taste of her, she’s falling apart, screaming my name like it’s a goddamn symphony.
I look up at her from between her thighs, her chest rising and falling harshly, her breaths filling the room. Crawling up her body, I rest my cock at her entrance. With our eyes locked, she pulls me to her lips. She slides her tongue against mine feverishly, her legs wrapping around my waist as she pulls me even closer. “You’ve made me wait long enough,” she rasps, her eyes alight with desire.
I inch inside, the head of my dick sliding past her entrance. It’s almost symbolic the way her pussy accepts me, like we’ve officially accepted the friend zone is no longer an option for us—hell, we’re already way past that, but I can’t ignore the significance in this moment.
Sera gasps as I thrust in all the way to the hilt. Her back arches, her fingernails digging into my shoulders, pressing her perfect tits against my chest. When she takes a deep breath, adjusting to my size, I start to pull my hips back, snapping them forward hard.
“Enzo!” she moans breathlessly, her eyes closing as she bites down on her lip.
I take her mouth in a kiss that could claim her body and soul. In fact, I want that. I want every piece of her, even the broken parts. I want to claim the parts she loves, the edges she hates, the emotions she wants to feel and the ones she doesn’t. I want all of her. Every. Last. Piece.
I punch my hips, slamming into her so hard the bed hammers against the wall. Her cries fill the room, encouraging me deeper. I grab her thighs and tighten them around my waist, rolling us over until I’m on my back.
“Ride me, baby,” I growl, my fingers digging into her hips with bruising force.
She grinds down on my cock like a goddamn expert, rolling her hips as she leans forward to press her palms to my chest. My piercing rubs the inside of her walls, intensifying the pleasure I feel with each stroke. I lean up, licking a path from the valley of her tits to the column of her neck, palming her tits. “I’m going to mark these one day,” I promise as I guide her down on my dick harder.
Sera shoves me back, riding my cock until my balls start to tingle and I’m moaning for more, but she swallows them with a hungry kiss. Her lips are swollen when she pulls away, and I can’t help but run my thumb along her bottom lip.
She takes my thumb in her mouth, swirling her tongue around it until her saliva drips down my knuckles. Then she releases it with a pop and guides it over her throbbing clit, circling it in time with her own motions. She fucks me so intensely, I don’t know whether I’m about to come or I already have. Her hands drag through her hair like this moment between us has her losing all her inhibitions. For a moment, I’m in so much awe, so hypnotized by her, that I can’t hold back.
My release finds me in seconds, my cum filling her sweet pussy with every grind of her hips. My climax sweeps over me, colors bursting behind my eyes, but she keeps rolling her body, chasing her own high. I rub her clit harder, faster, until she panting and screaming, writhing and seeking her orgasm. And when her body shakes and she shatters with my name on her lips, I feel it in my bones that this was meant to be.
She collapses on my chest, our breaths mingling, bodies hot and sweaty from exertion. It’s no longer pool water coating our skin now. The sticky sheen of desire covers us.
I wrap my arms around her, keeping us close for as long as possible. Nothing about this feels awkward. We’re equally sated, both reveling in our post-fuck high.
Sera draws her finger over my chest, following the design of an inked angel directly over my heart. Wings of fire sprout behind the angel, the words ‘Bound in blood, forged from fire’ written in a ribbon that circles the woman.
Sera lifts her head, her brows furrowing. “I’ve never noticed this before.”
“I got it when I left the hospital,” I say. “A reminder.”
“A reminder of what?”
“Not what,” I say, shaking my head. “Who.”
Sera’s eyes grow glassy as she bites down on her bottom lip. I reach up, untucking it with my thumb and stroking it softly.
“I hated not being able to speak to you, to tell you what happened,” I explain, though I know it’ll do little to express just how much the last three months hurt me. Not just because I couldn’t be with her, but because of what my death did to her. The raw truth of how much I hurt her is splayed all over her face. “I hated watching you move on.”
She leans forward, pressing her lips to mine softly. “I never moved on,” she replies earnestly.
Our kiss deepens, her tongue snaking around mine. A small whimper escapes her, the sound cinching at my chest. She pulls away with a smile, her gaze falling back to the tattoo that holds an uncanny resemblance to the woman I’m still seated inside of.
“Sei tutto per me,”she repeats my words.
“Sei la mia ragione di vita.”