Chapter 51
Iwatch my daughter for hours, to the point that I move past my own exhaustion and am wired instead. Stroking the curls away from Gabriella’s face, I memorize every feature: the way her long eyelashes brush the tips of her cheeks, the way her curls puff away from her mouth on every exhale. I lay fascinated by the surreal fact that I have her back in my arms, swearing that I’ll never let her down again.
I exhale a long breath, trying to steady my worry as I drop a kiss on my daughter’s cheek. Words can’t describe how I felt as soon as Gabriella fell into my arms. Her dirt-covered hair smothered my face, her hands wrapping around my neck as I crouched down to catch her. I still feel the way my chest constricted, fighting against the lead weight of relief.
Sera’s promise still echoes in the recesses of my mind, and I have to bite back the overwhelming sob that threatens to break through. She did it. She brought Gabriella back to me. She promised she would, yet I didn’t realize what that would cost me. I never doubted she would fail, but I also never thought I’d see her limp in Levi’s arms as he carried her across D’Angelo’s lawn, blood coating her face and arms.
It’s five in the morning, and I sense from how quiet the house is that they never brought Sera back here. Wherever they took her, I have no way of finding out. Nobody has returned, and that only ratchets my worry up even more. It had to have been a serious injury, otherwise she”d be here right now, giving me shit for not staying in the car with Luca.
Fuck.My own guilt wraps around me like a steel noose, squeezing me tightly until I’m gasping for air. I shoot up from the side of the bed, carding my fingers through my hair with anxious movements as I try to steady my erratic heart rate.
I need to know she’s okay, even if it’s just to hear her voice.
Turning back to my daughter, I watch her chest move up and down slowly, her dreaming state so calm and hypnotic that I have to blink a couple of times to make sure she’s actually here and it’s not a figment of my imagination.
Then she stirs, her body shivering and eyelids flickering like she’s tormented by her dreams. I wouldn’t doubt it for a second. I can’t even imagine what she’s gone through, nor do I want to. She assured me she wasn’t hurt, and I made sure there were no obvious signs of abuse when I told her to wash up. But as soon as she wakes up, I’m getting the doctor here to check her over.
She doesn’t look malnourished, so I know she’s been fed reasonably well, but that’s not to say there isn’t any other lasting damage; a thought I don’t even want to entertain.
Gabriella’s eyes suddenly open, horror etched in them as her breaths fall sharp and ragged.
“Shh… It’s okay, Angioletto,” I whisper, stroking her cheek. “You’re safe.” And I can’t mean that any more than I do. I feel complete, like I’m taking my very first sip of fresh air after being suffocated for so long. It’s refreshing, relieving, and I relish in the clarity it brings me. “Go back to sleep.”
“She’s hurt,” my daughter whimpers.
“I know, baby girl,” I soothe. “She’s going to be okay.” She has to be.
Wrapping my arms around her, I tug my daughter against my chest, relishing in her warmth. Whatever happened tonight, it didn’t go to plan. I know that much. I didn’t get to see what happened, but the terror in Gabriella’s face told me all I needed to know. And then when I saw Levi rushing past, clutching Sera to his chest, one of my greatest fears became a reality.
“I hope so,” she whispers back, nuzzling into me. “She saved me, Papa.”
I swallow thickly. There are no words for what Sera did tonight. I still don’t know how she got shot, but judging by the sounds of gunfire that rained down through Luca’s earpiece, I can only assume she must have been caught in the crossfire.
“I know,” I murmur into her hair; the only words I can find in these desolate times.
“Where is she?” Gabriella asks. Her brown eyes are blown wide with pure innocence and curiosity. The fact she cares so much about someone she’s only met once reminds me of how similar they both are. Sera would be asking the same questions, demanding answers for someone she’d only just met, just to ensure they were safe. It’s that unyielding kindness that hits me the hardest. Her steadfast promise to get my daughter back, despite what I did, shows just how compassionate she is.
“I don’t know,” I finally admit under my breath. “But I’m sure she’s safe.”
“She killed her grandfather.”
“What?” I stare down at my daughter, mouth agape as I attempt to comprehend what she just said. There’s no way her grandfather was involved with this. How?
“But…” Gabriella frowns, not even perturbed by what her words mean. “He’s not her grandfather,” she continues.
“How do you know that?”
Gabriella shrugs, her brows still furrowed. “He said his son wasn’t her papa. Which means they’re not family, right?” She continues looking up at me, undeterred by what happened tonight. My daughter has always been smart for her age, excelling in school and at home. So it’s no surprise that she picked up on what was said. She continuously impresses me, and it fills me with regret that I’ve never been there to see her grow, to grow with her.
“I guess that’s right,” I smile, tucking a curl over her ear. It still doesn’t answer the question of what happened or why Levi was hauling a limp Sera away from the scene, not even returning here.
Just as I’m about to tell Gabriella to go back to sleep, I hear the front door close and the heavy footsteps of someone making their way across the living room.
“I’ll be right back,” I tell her. And once again, my daughter astounds me, nodding as she rolls onto her side and rests her head on her pillow.
Heading out of the bedroom, I close the door with a soft click before making my way down the stairs. From the way the cupboards in the kitchen slam, I’d hazard a guess that it’s either Luca or Levi. They’ve never been able to get a grip on their emotions, always allowing their anger to get the better of them.
So as I step into the kitchen, I’m surprised to see that it’s Enzo grasping the edge of the table top, his knuckles whitening and his head sagging between his shoulders.
“Why are you still here?” he grumbles.
I ignore the lack of warmth in his question, recognizing the pain in his posture, both physical and emotional. Opening a cupboard closest to me, I locate the whiskey I’ve seen Sera hide from the guys, smiling as I place it on the counter and silently pull two glasses from another cupboard by the sink.
Enzo watches me warily, dark eyes following my movements like I’m some kind of threat.
Nodding to the dining table, I kick out a chair for him and quietly take my own. I should really check on Gabriella. After all she’s been through, I don’t want to leave her on her own for very long. But right now, Enzo looks like he’s about to fall apart. It’s a stark contradiction to how he’s been since he returned, and that only piles on the guilt I’m already feeling.
“How is she?” I ask, pouring out two unhealthy measures of amber liquid.
Snatching the closest glass, Enzo knocks back the drink seamlessly, barely registering his gulps before sliding it back in front of me. Apparently, whatever he has to say requires some Dutch courage, so I ply him with another triple measure.
“She’s out of surgery,“ he croaks, but doesn’t elaborate further. I sense it’s because he still doesn’t trust me enough to share those details. While I respect that, I have to suppress all my own worry and guilt so that I can listen without my emotions taking hold of me. Something that is damn near impossible when I saw the state Sera was in leaving Oakwood. If I’d known where they were going, if someone had told me, I’d be in a very different place. As it is though, I have my daughter to think about and I know Sera would understand. Now that I’m hearing she had surgery, though, the thought of her sustaining serious injuries has bile rising in the back of my throat.
“Is she going to be okay?”
“Yeah,” Enzo replies, sipping on his fresh drink a lot more casually than the first. “She’s stronger than this.”
I can’t help but agree with him on that. Sera is a fighter, determined and stubborn. If anyone can overcome the shit she’s been through, it’s her.
“What happened?” I ask hesitantly, taking a gulp from my own glass.
Enzo is silent for a moment. His eyes are glazed over like his thoughts have taken him to another place—probably reliving tonight. But then his gaze drifts back to me, his dark brows creasing. “I knew something was wrong. I knew we were being set up, and she still went down there. She still wanted to…” he chokes up slightly, losing his words for a moment.
I know what he’s holding back on. Guilt is a bitch when you did everything you could to prevent it. Sera obviously ignored his warning for me, to be sure Gabriella wasn’t there.
Taking another gulp of whiskey, he drops his gaze to his hands that are sliding up and down the tumbler. “She shot herself.”
My stomach knots with sickening grief and shame. Guilt piercing me like a jagged blade, ripping me from the insides out.
“He made her choose,” he tells me, bitterness filling his words. “Me, or your daughter.”
“Fuck,” I whisper, dropping my head into my hands. I’m already exhausted from tonight, but now everything else is piling on; anger, remorse, sadness, emptiness, relief. It’s a tempest of emotion, one with no direction. The only choice I have is to weather the storm, because that’s what we’re living in right now.
But this is Sera all over. This was her choice, a way to save the people she cared about. It’s both selfish and altruistic. Any other leader would have made the choice and beared the remorse of their decision for years to come. Not Sera, though. She took the power out of her grandfather’s hands. The respect I have for her now has just catapulted out of this world, because she’d rather take her life over anyone else”s. Yet, Enzo can’t see that.
“You can’t blame yourself,” I placate.
His eyes shoot back to mine, his glare so sharp it could slice through the very glasses in our grips. “I don’t,” he snaps, and shit, I already know what he’s going to say and I can’t even blame him.
“Enzo,” I reply, trying to keep my own calm over the situation because of course I’m just as affected by this. The last thing I wanted was for Sera to take a bullet, least of all from herself.
Grabbing the bottle from the table, Enzo fills his glass to the top before necking the entire contents like it’s water.
“Francesco has gone?” I confirm, even though my daughter said as much.
Enzo nods silently, effectively ending our conversation. Nothing I say will make the situation any better. I can dance around platitudes until the sun goes down, but his mood won’t change.
At least Sera is in a hospital where she can be taken care of. If Francesco is dead, then hopefully that means she’s no longer a target. I can rest easy for now knowing she’s safe—which is no thanks to us. Considering we’re all skilled in combat, scheming, and logistics, we fucked up royally here. The only good thing to come out of this right now is laying upstairs sound asleep.
Or so I thought.
“Papa?” Gabriella’s sleepy voice sounds from behind me. I turn to see her rubbing her eyes as she pads in my direction. In one move, I sweep her up and place her small frame on my lap.
“You should be sleeping,” I whisper into her hair, not fighting her when she snuggles into me. For all the pain and loss we’ve dealt with, this moment feels the most humbling, and when Enzo’s eyes land on me, I see the recognition flash across his face.
“I couldn’t sleep,” she yawns, and though I should encourage her to go back to bed, I can’t bring myself to. For all the time I’ve lost with her, she can stay up as long as she wants, eat whatever the fuck she likes, and I won’t make it into a battle.
Not that I need to, anyway. As soon as her head rests against my shoulder I hear soft snores escaping her. I chuckle silently, catching Enzo’s smile at the same time. For a brief moment, I see respect harden his features, quickly followed by what I can only describe as some level of guilt.
“Thank you,” I mouth to him. Without Enzo, this wouldn’t have been possible. I owe him and Sera so much that a few meek words of gratitude won’t suffice. The only thing I can offer them is for me to disappear, which is something I promised Sera. What they’ve done for me will never be forgotten, and to prove that, I’ll remove myself from their lives so I’m no longer a liability and Sera’s life is no longer in danger due to me or my daughter.
Enzo sighs, eyes drifting to his half drunk glass. “If you’re thinking of leaving for the sake of me, don’t.”
I frown, forgetting all about my drink to instinctively wrap my arms around my daughter.
“Sera loves you, I know she does.”
I don’t really know what to say to that. Sera and I shared a moment the other night, and I shamelessly told her how much she meant to me. But she never said it back, and while that should worry me, Enzo’s words settle the debate that has been going on in my mind since he dumped me in the pool house over a month ago.
After a while of me not saying anything, Enzo finishes his drink and stands. “That bullet didn’t kill her, but you leaving will.”
With that, he disappears, leaving me to sit with his words. And trust me, those words hit me deep.