Chapter 2 #2
Wanted her with an intensity that terrified me. Wanted to know everything about her. Her laugh, her fears, her dreams. Wanted to watch her photograph the world through her eyes. Wanted to make her smile, make her moan, make her look at me like I was the one she’d been searching for.
But I couldn’t have her. Could never have her.
Because my brothers would kill me. And I’d deserve it.
My phone rang, and I jumped like I’d been shocked. Xander’s name flashed on the screen.
For a moment, I considered not answering. But that would make things worse. Xander knew me too well. He’d know something was wrong, and he’d come looking for answers.
“Yeah?” I tried to sound normal. Failed.
“You definitely coming to meet Leigh today?” His voice was casual, but I could hear the undercurrent of concern. Xander never called without reason.
“Yeah. I’ll be there.”
“You okay? You sound off.”
“Fine.” I forced steadiness into my voice. “Just tired.”
“Big day. I’m worried it might be too much. Throwing her into the middle of it all. She’s probably nervous.”
The image of her in that bar flashed through my mind, vulnerable and open, telling me about her fears. About feeling like she wouldn’t fit. About being terrified they wouldn’t want her.
She’d been nervous last night. And I’d made it so much worse.
“Yeah,” I managed. “Probably.”
“It’ll be good,” Xander said, almost like he was trying to reassure himself. “The family’s growing. It’s one more person to add to the chaos. A sister… that’s going to take some getting used to though.”
Sister. The word was a knife in my gut.
“See you at the farm,” Xander continued. “One o’clock. Don’t be late. Delaney’s making a spread. We already have a solid kidnap plan if you don’t turn up so might as well just embrace the inevitable.”
“I’ll be there.”
“And we’ll talk?” he asked tentatively.
Xander had been on at me for months to talk.
They all had. They knew there was something going on with me but I’d avoided it at all cost. Because how did you tell the people you cared most about in the world that the thing that was hurting you most was their happiness?
How did you do that without them realising you were a complete ass?
“Yeah,” I said, already knowing that we wouldn’t.
He hummed in agreement not sounding completely convinced and then hung up, and I stood holding the phone, staring at nothing.
One o’clock. Three hours from now. Three hours to figure out how to face her without giving everything away. How to pretend we were strangers meeting for the first time.
How to look her in the eye and not see the hurt I’d put there.
I couldn’t do it. Couldn’t face her, face them, and pretend everything was fine.
But I had no choice.
I finished the brake job on autopilot, cleaned up the garage, and locked up. Drove home to the house. The one my grandparents had left me, the one that echoed with absence and loneliness.
I showered again even though I didn’t need to. Changed into clean clothes. Looked at myself in the mirror and practiced normal expressions.
None of them looked normal.
At twelve-thirty, I got in my truck and started driving to Trace and Delaney’s farm. Every mile felt like walking to my execution.
The James Farm came into view. Trace and Delaney’s place, with its beautiful house and the cider mill and the pond where they were getting married. Cars were already parked in the drive. Booker’s truck, Xander’s SUV, Gage’s sedan, Jasper’s. And one I didn’t recognize.
Hers.
My hands tightened on the steering wheel. She was in there. Right now. Meeting them for the first time.
And soon I’d have to walk in and face her.
Face the anger in her eyes. The hurt underneath. The knowledge that I’d made her feel cheap and unwanted when she was the furthest thing from either.
I sat in my truck for a full minute, unable to make myself move.
Through the window, I could see movement. People inside, gathering. I caught a glimpse of dark hair and my heart stopped.
She was here. She was real. Last night hadn’t been some fever dream brought on by loneliness and too much whiskey.
And I had to go in there and pretend nothing had happened.
Finally, I forced myself out of the truck and walked toward the house. Each step felt like wading through concrete.
Before I could knock, the door opened. Delaney stood there, smiling.
“Dex! Come in, we’re just…” She stopped, looking at me more closely. “You okay? You look…”
“Fine,” I said, the lie bitter on my tongue. “Just tired.”
She didn’t buy it. I could see it in her eyes. But she stepped aside. “Come meet Leigh.” She reached out, her hand briefly clasping mine. I’d never been able to hide anything from Delaney, it was one of the reasons why I was avoiding everyone.
This was going to be a disaster.
I walked inside, and there she was.
Standing by the window with an older woman who had to be Caroline, afternoon sunlight streaming through and catching in her dark hair like a halo. She was laughing at something someone had said, her whole face lit up, and she was so beautiful it hurt to look at her.
Then she turned and saw me.
The laughter died. The light in her eyes went cold. And I watched her expression shutter, closing me out completely.
Across the room, I could feel her anger like a physical force. Could see the set of her jaw, the tension in her shoulders. Could read the fury and hurt in every line of her body.
She hated me. And I couldn’t even blame her.
Everyone in the room seemed to sense the shift. Conversations faltered. Eyes darted between us. Xander’s gaze sharpened with interest.
“Do you two know each other?” he asked, his voice carefully neutral.
I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. What could I say? We met last night. I almost took her home. I wanted her so badly I could barely breathe. Then I panicked and treated her like garbage.
“We met briefly,” I finally managed, my voice rough. “Last night. At the bar.”
“Ran into each other.” Her voice was tight, controlled, barely masking the anger underneath. “Small world apparently.”
The tension was thick enough to choke on. Trace and Booker exchanged glances. Blake’s eyes widened with curiosity. Caroline looked between us with confusion.
Someone, I think it was Trace, said, “Dex, this is Leigh. Leigh, Dex. He’s been part of our family since we were kids.”
“Practically another brother,” Gage added, smiling, not knowing what it was he was saying.
Brother.
The word landed like a bomb.
I saw Leigh’s face pale slightly, saw her fingers tighten around the water glass she was holding. She understood now. Understood exactly what I was to them. Why I’d panicked.
“Nice to officially meet you,” she said, her voice cold enough to freeze.
I nodded, not trusting my voice.
And then I had to stand there, on the periphery of the room, while they welcomed her. While Trace and Delaney made her feel included, while Booker asked thoughtful questions, while Xander charmed her with his easy manner, while Gage shared stories about being the outsider who’d come home.
I watched her relax by degrees. Watched her smile become real instead of forced. Watched her find her place among them like she’d always belonged there.
And every time she laughed, every time her face lit up, I felt the knife twist deeper.
Because I’d had that. For a few perfect hours, I’d had her attention, her smiles, her trust.
And I’d thrown it away.
Xander drifted over to stand beside me, his eyes on Leigh as she talked with Blake about photography.
“You want to tell me what’s really going on?” he asked quietly.
“Nothing’s going on.”
“Dex.” He turned to face me fully. “I’ve known you for over twenty years. Don’t bullshit me.”
I couldn’t meet his eyes. “Just drop it, Xan.”
“Does this have something to do with why you’ve been pulling away the last few months?”
Everything in me wanted to tell him. To spill it all and let someone else carry the weight for a moment. But I couldn’t. It was all too shameful to admit.
“I’m fine,” I said. “Just going through some stuff. It’s not about any of you.”
“Isn’t it, though?” His voice was gentle but probing. “You’ve been different since Gage got engaged. Quieter. More distant. And now there’s this thing with Leigh…”
“There’s nothing with Leigh.” The lie tasted like ash. “We just met wrong. It’s awkward.”
“How did you meet wrong?”
I scrambled for something believable. “At the bar. She was... we just got off on the wrong foot. That’s all.”
Xander studied me for a long moment, and I knew he didn’t believe me. But mercifully, he let it go.
“Just be careful,” he said finally. “This whole situation is… a lot. It’s a complicated thing to navigate and the last thing she needs is more complications.”
The words were like a punch to the gut. “I know.”
“Do you?” He looked at me intently. “Because you’re looking at her like…”
“Like what?” I snapped, unable to help myself.
“Like she matters. Like she already matters.”
I forced myself to look away from her, to focus on Xander. “She’s your sister. Of course, she matters.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
I knew what he meant. Could hear it in his voice. The concern, the warning, the unspoken question about what had really happened between us.
“I’ll stay away from her,” I said quietly. “I promise. I won’t make things complicated.”
Xander’s hand landed on my shoulder, squeezing gently. “That’s not what I meant either. Just... be careful. For both of your sakes.”
He walked away, leaving me alone on the periphery while the family embraced their newest member.
I stayed for another hour because leaving sooner would have been too obvious.
Stayed and watched her bloom under their attention, watched her find her place, watched her become part of something I’d always been adjacent to but never truly inside.
There was a time when I’d thought I was, when I assumed I was one of them.
But now I saw it for what it was. I was their guardian angel and not the brother they all called me. Not really.
Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. I made my excuses, blaming work at the garage, things to finish, and then headed for the door before any of them could stop me.
I didn’t look at her on my way out. Couldn’t bear to see the cold dismissal in her eyes again.
But I felt her watching me leave. Felt the weight of her gaze on my back.
I drove home in silence, my mind racing.
This was my life now. Watching her fit into my family while knowing I’d destroyed any chance of something between us before it even started. Seeing her at every gathering, every dinner, every celebration.
Always there. Always close. Always completely out of reach.
And I deserved every second of torture.
Because I was the asshole who’d made her feel unwanted. Who’d treated her like a complication instead of the incredible woman she was. Who’d let his own fear and guilt ruin something that could have been real.
I pulled into my driveway and sat in the truck, staring at the empty house.
Maybe I should sell this place. Sell the garage. Leave Willowbrook and start over somewhere where I wasn’t constantly reminded of everything I couldn’t have.
But even as I thought it, I knew I wouldn’t. Couldn’t. This was my home. These were my people.
Even if I was slowly disappearing into the background of their happiness.
Even if the only woman who’d made me feel alive in months hated me.
Even if I’d destroyed my one chance at something real.
I sat in the dark truck and let myself feel it all. The loneliness, the regret, the want that wouldn’t go away no matter how much I told myself it should.
I pressed my head against the steering wheel and closed my eyes.
“You’re an idiot, Moore,” I whispered to the darkness. “A complete fucking idiot.”
But knowing it didn’t change anything.
Didn’t make me want her less.
Didn’t make the loneliness go away.
Didn’t fix what I’d broken.
And tomorrow, there’d be another family event. Another chance to see her. Another reminder of everything I couldn’t have.
Welcome to the rest of your life, I thought bitterly.
It was going to be a long, painful road ahead. And a part of me, the part that liked to punish myself, was glad about it.