42. Jasper
FORTY-TWO
JASPER
“So, you arrested him?” I asked the detective who was sitting across from us in the hotel we’d booked into when we got back on dry land. For the last two days, the three of us had locked ourselves away, trying to come to terms with what happened, none of us wanting to leave each other’s side.
Travis stood behind the sofa, his hands braced on my shoulders as Finn sat beside me, his hand wrapped in mine.
“We did. Gregory Green was arrested late yesterday and, when presented with the evidence the men who broke onto your boat told us, he confessed and told us everything. He took it upon himself to try to ruin your work, Professor Fischer, because he didn’t think his organisation should be investing in the research. He sees global warming as ‘a myth’ and didn’t think his company should be ‘wasting their money’.”
Finn tutted, cradling his arm that was strapped to his chest in a black sling he hated wearing. “It’s not like it was coming out of his pocket. That company drills for oil. It’s worth billions.”
The detective nodded. “I’d like to tell you that there was more to it, but it seems that he made it his mission to discredit you. He delayed the start of your project here while he paid someone to tamper with the equipment so your data would be wrong. He then tried to discredit you to his employers, sending emails, writing reports, trolling you on the internet in forums and fan pages related to you and your work.” I shook my head because I knew nothing about any of this, and apparently from his expression, neither did Finn. “And then, when none of that worked, he paid the men who attacked you on the boat, hoping that if you lost millions of pounds of equipment, you would lose your job and the project would fail without you.”
“He nearly killed us,” Travis added, his tone furious. I pressed my free hand over his and squeezed reassuringly because we were safe, and that was all that mattered to me.
“He won’t be bailed—his employers have made sure of that. They have some of the best lawyers in the world making sure he serves time, but we will need you to testify when it gets to court.”
“Of course.”
He stood just as a knock hammered on the door. “I’ll leave you to it. Take care, Professor.” The person hammered again. “Someone’s keen.” He chuckled as I followed him to the door, shaking his hand.
“I appreciate your help with all this.”
“Your boat is no longer a crime scene, so you can arrange for it to be taken to the dry dock whenever you’re ready.”
I groaned because we still had no idea how badly it was damaged.
I opened the door, letting out a louder groan when I saw who was standing there, her hand in the air like she was about to knock again.
“Jasper Fischer, is there any reason that you didn’t call to tell me that you nearly died at sea after you were attacked by pirates? I mean, what mother wouldn’t want to know that her son nearly drowned?”
I glanced at the detective, who was trying and failing to hide his amusement.
“Hi, Ma.”
“Don’t ‘hi, Ma’ me. I’m furious, Jasper. Bloody furious.”
* * *
After an ear bashing from my mum and then introducing her to Finn and Travis as ‘people I worked with’, she went on to tell me that not only had she travelled halfway around the world to make sure I was okay, but that Jax had come too.
I had so much I wanted to tell her, but there was something I needed to do first, which was why I’d asked Jax to meet me.
“Are you always by the water, Jas?” a familiar voice said from behind me. I looked up from my place on the sand and smiled at my oldest friend.
“Always.” I patted the space next to me. This part of the beach was quiet, which was why I’d asked him to meet me here.
“How you doing? You know, after being attacked by pirates?”
I chuckled. “They weren’t really pirates. Wanna be pirates at best. Idiots for hire.”
“Still, that shit must have been terrifying. I bet you’ll be glad to come home. I’m sure your new office job sounds way more appealing than what just happened.”
I smiled, but I wasn’t going back to my office job. In fact, I wasn’t going back to the UK at all. I had plans, but now wasn’t the time to talk about that. I had something more important to tell my oldest friend.”
Jax leant back, tilting his sunglasses-covered eyes to the sky. “Although I can see why you like it here. This place is stunning. That sun.” He hummed happily.
“Did mum tell you I’ve been depressed?”
He stilled, and I knew my answer immediately.
“Don’t be mad at her. She’s been so worried about you, Jas. Not just this, but for years. You’ve been more and more distant, and now she’s paranoid she’s going to miss something’s wrong and you’re going to do something stupid.”
I hated knowing what I’d put her through.
“I think I was depressed because I was so unhappy with my life. I didn’t understand who I was and nothing made sense.”
He pushed his glasses onto the top of his head so I could see the confusion in his eyes. “What do you mean?”
“Jax, I’m gay.”
He stared at me for a moment. “Okay, wow. Gay? But you’ve been with women?”
“Yes, and I hated it.”
“The rock star woman?”
I shook my head. “Couldn’t get it up. Told her I loved her to distract her from that fact, and she ran. Rightly so, because I was weird as hell.”
His mouth fell open before he shook his head and adjusted his expression. “Okay, so gay. And you’ve been depressed because you thought you had to hide it?
“No. I had no idea until recently. In fact, until the night of your charity dinner.”
His brows furrowed in confusion. “My dinner. You ran off… so you realised at my dinner and that’s why you left?”
“Yeap.”
“What am I missing here, Jas, because I hear what you’re saying, but it’s not making any sense?”
I swallowed, my mouth dry with dread at saying this out loud, but I knew I needed to. “When I was fifteen, I started to have feelings… an awareness of a boy. I found myself looking, dreaming, wanting. I didn’t understand it at first, and when I did, I was so scared it would affect our friendship; that they’d hate me. Then one day, my friend left. Moved away with no notice. No explanation. So apparently, my subconscious took it personally and shoved my gay awakening in a cupboard, locked it away, and buried it so deeply that I had no idea. I thought I liked women. I tried to like women. But my body had other ideas. Then there was your dinner. Arlo, the dancer, well…” I sighed as I remembered how Finn moved that night. “And then there was also Travis. Him and I… well, look, it’s complicated, but what I’m trying to say is my experiences when I was fifteen made me believe that there was something wrong with me that drove my friend away and despite learning why he left, I don’t think I ever believed I was safe to explore my sexuality until I met them.”
“Them?” Jasper asked.
I pointed to a table set outside a cafe just down from where we sat in the sand.
“Them.”
Finn and Trav were watching us intently, grinning back at me; Finn offering an adorable finger wave.
Jax stared at them for a moment before turning to me and tilting his head to the side. “Jas are you trying to tell me that you had feelings for me and that my leaving made you feel like you had to hide who you were and that’s what made you depressed?”
“The depression, no, but the other stuff… yes. Jax, I think fifteen-year-old me thought he was in love with you, and when your psycho dad forced you to leave, I thought it was my fault. That my feelings for you drove you away. I think my moving to Ecuador was actually me running from you because deep down I knew being around you would open up all those emotions, and I wasn’t ready to deal with them. That’s where the depression came from.”
He stared out at the water. “I’m so sorry you went through that.” I could hear the pain in his words.
“None of it was your fault,” I told him, meaning every word.
“I had no idea, I promise.”
I nudged his shoulder with mine. “I know.”
“So, I was your first crush?” he asked, sounding more playful.
“Do we have to tell Ma?”
He chuckled. “You still in love with me?”
I made a vomiting sound. “Nope.”
“Well then, whether you tell your mum or not is up to you, but she won’t hear it from me, but the being gay part, Jas, you have to know it won’t change how much she loves you or how any of us feel about you.”
I smiled. “I know, and honestly, this is why I’ve been so distant. Nothing made sense, and I didn’t know how to be around you all while I was miserable.”
“And them ? Do they know everything?”
I leant my head on my friend’s shoulder, letting out a contented sigh. “They know everything.”
“And what? You’re all together, together?”
“Together, together, and I’m not letting them go anywhere.”
“Well, best go introduce me. You can tell them I’m your best friend, first crush, and a hot firefighter. They’re going to love me.”
“You’re a dick.”
“Let’s not add that on to the list of my amazing qualities, please.”