Tevye 7.
I come up behind Yakov in the hallway outside the war room of the family compound. Silent and quick, I plant my hand on the back of his head and slam it into the wall. He turns just in time, so only the side of his face makes impact. Damn, I was hoping to break the fucker’s nose.
Close to his ear, I hiss, “Couldn’t have given me a heads up, dickwad?
I roll my eyes when he replies innocently, “My, whatever do you mean?”
“Vandy Gibbs.”
He chuckles, “Ah, yes, the pretty little nurse.” Those words, his tone…I don’t like it in reference to Vandy. And the bitch of it is, I’m not sure why. I’m attracted to her, she’s fucking hot. But there’s more, something else, and that’s what I’m uncertain about. Outside, she said she enjoyed the day, and I foolishly thought she meant spending it with me and Arlo. Apparently while I was thinking that I wouldn’t mind doing this more often with her, maybe sometimes sans clothes and child, she was just thinking about her job. Her duty. And anger and frustration welled up inside me. There might have been some disappointment. Possibly some hurt? I’ll have to ask Ruthie. She’ll just show me the emotion emoji chart and make me point at which one looks how I feel.
“I’ll fuck you up.”
Yak snorts, “You’ll try.” Then he shifts his feet, sweeps his leg out and around and I’m on the ground with him kneeling on my throat. I glare up at him and his smug triumphant expression. “Told you before, I’ll mount your fucking head on my wall. Lucky for you, watching you learn feelings like a preschooler is entertaining, as is watching you flounder your way through romance.”
“No romance.”
“So, you don’t like the pretty little nurse?”
“I wanna fuck her.”
“Of course. But you want to do more than that. And you don’t like it.”
“I don’t like you.” Yak laughs at my childish retort, stands up and dusts his clothes off from our tussle.
“Ok.” He leaves me lying on the floor of the hallway, entering the large conference room. Everyone’s eyes are on me from inside the room, as I roll to my side and then stand up. Deciding to push aside Vandy and the unwelcome feelings she invokes, I stride confidently into the room and take my seat.
Moshe smirks, “You good, buddy?”
“Start the fucking meeting.” I mutter; my eyes trained on the opposite wall.
“Yak, you called us in here. Go ahead.”
From next to me, Yak taps the tablet in his hand, activating the touch screen hanging on the wall. Everyone is now able to see what he’s doing. He pulls up an email thread. I’m apparently slow today, because before I’ve had a chance to get far, Ezra is already on his feet, roaring.
“Sit down.” In the blink of an eye, Moshe goes from playful to serious, the Avraham Avinu taking over. Ezra is steaming, but he sits back down in his chair. Uncle Aaron, his father, puts a consoling hand on Ezra’s tense shoulder. I observe their interaction, then look at my own father. Steven Frenkel is an imposing man, a few inches shorter than me, but we’re built similar. Broad shoulders, torso of solid muscle, resting asshole face. However, the stark difference between us is compassion, empathy, and selflessness. It’s not that I wouldn’t put myself in front of a bullet for any of these men, not to mention the women and children, it’s just…Dad gives not just his body in the protection of others, he gives his wisdom, his heart, his time and patience. I swallow hard at the reminder that I am not my father and will always fall short of his example.
He meets my eyes from across the table, and the hard look of a moment ago slips briefly as his eyes soften, and he smiles at me knowingly. He points to his watch, and I know he’s gonna make me talk to him. I don’t want to, don’t want to be vulnerable, even with my father. But I think I need more than Ruthie’s help if I want to be a better man and father. A man worthy of someone like Vandy.
“She’s mine!” Ezra is barely controlling himself.
Moshe dips his chin, “We know. And she’s Kosher Nostra. We’ll protect her, Ez.”
Yak, undisturbed by Ezra and Moshe, spells it out for everyone else, “In Florida, our friend in the Cuban mafia, Diaz has heard some rumblings recently regarding Hiram Goldman’s failed flesh market. His death has put a crimp in everyone’s plans. However, it is the man who expected Dorothy to be delivered to him, that has put a renewed bounty on her. Currently, we are unable to determine who that man is. Everything Diaz sent me is word of mouth.”
Moshe frowns, his eyes cold as he considers our next move. “Yak, Tev, track down who this fucker is, I want eyes and ears on him asap. Also, do your thing online to follow the bounty and neutralize anyone dumb enough to take the contract. Increase protection details for all the Goldman girls, I wouldn’t put it past anyone to use the other sisters as leverage to get to Dorothy. Add another guard or two to each of the BABs.”
Zilv groans, stupidly interrupting his brother, “Not you too! Fucking Tovah and her badass bitches . Ridiculous!”
Uncle David leans forward to look at his son, “Membership application denied?”
Zilv lifts one shoulder, his eyes on the table. “Twice.” Everyone laughs at Zilv, even Ezra.
The moment of levity passes, Ez takes a deep breath, his shoulders rising and falling with the effort. “I won’t lose her…I won’t survive.” That sentiment, the defeated tone of his voice hits me in the solar plexus. The devotion he feels for another human being, the way he truly believes their souls entwine…I’ve grown up listening to the older men of the family wax on poetically about their women and children. But to witness everything Moshe went through with Seril, Zeppo and Ruthie, Jonah and Harper, Ezra and Dorothy, it’s starting to click.
Perhaps Tov and I have missed out, unable or unwilling to trust our soft underbellies to someone else. I wouldn’t consider these men weak; in fact, if I look at it objectionably, they are stronger. They truly have something to live for. Would it be so bad?
Arlo. I must live for him. Like that woman said in the group, I am his protector, his advocate, his shield against the world. Vandy’s smile flashes through my mind, the way her face lit up when she held Arlo and played with him. I’m a big man, I can be her shield, too.
“The Kosher Nostra will stand in front of Dorothy.”
Ezra deflates slightly in his chair, “I know. But we can’t predict what this person will do, or how far his reach extends.”
Moshe nods in understanding, “Then we remain vigilant until we are able to eliminate the threat.”
We cover a little more business before Moshe dismisses us. My mom took Arlo when we got home to feed him, bathe him, and put him to bed for me. And after the day I’ve had, I’d like to pour myself some scotch and crawl into bed.
“You alright, son?” Dad asks once we’re out of earshot of everyone else. “Seems like you got a lot on your mind?”
“Hard to breathe.” I rub my chest, keeping my face blank as my father looks at me with concern.
“Does your chest hurt?”
“No. You know Tovah visits the underworld every full moon. The scent of sulfur she brings back with her gets stronger every trip.”
“I’m always up for a good Tovah is the devil joke, but don’t deflect. It’s cowardly.” I toss a glare his direction as we walk side by side to my suite. He sighs, “Tevye, your mother and I love you and your sister. And joking aside, we are proud of you both. You two always felt this need to stand apart, distance yourselves from others, and your mom and I didn’t try to stop you, knowing you did what you felt you had to do. But…it’s alright to let people in. People move away, they fall out of touch, romance fizzles away, and everyone dies eventually. It’s the impact they have on our lives that remains. You may not believe yourself capable of love, however, your actions would indicate otherwise.”
Several thoughts float through my mind. “And… if …I put myself out there…and I’m not enough?” Fuckin’ hell. Where did that come from?
Dad’s eyes open wide, shock overtaking his features instantly. He blinks at me several times, then schools his face to appear normal again. “Then they aren’t enough for you. You don’t have to settle. You and Tovah deserve to be loved and treasured just like anyone else.”
“Even Zilv?” I can’t help but joke, not a fan of the crawling sensation under my skin from the heavy discussion.
Dad chuckles, “Even Zilv. I love you, Tev.” He puts his hand on my shoulder just outside my door. “And I’ve seen the effort you’re making with Arlo, and I’m so damn proud of you. Your situation isn’t ideal, it isn’t easy. Not to be a cliché, but it isn’t how many times we get knocked down, it’s how many times we get back up.”
I unlock my door without responding, unsure of what to say, the words clogging in my throat. This is too much for one day. I’m fucking exhausted, mentally and physically.
I’m unprepared for the scene I walk in on. My dad bumps into me as I stop abruptly in my doorway. Mom sits on my couch, turned to rest her arm on the back of it. That’s not what’s confusing. It’s that Vandy is walking the length of the room, talking with mom, while holding Arlo snug to her chest, her hand rubbing up and down his back. He’s passed the fuck out. Wasted in her arms.
Why is she here? How is she here? I left her outside before I went to the meeting; she was supposed to be leaving. I am not a fan of the emotions that rise from my esophagus. My conversation with my dad echoes in my brain as I stare at her. Fear. Apprehension. Hope. Fuck, I’ve never felt any of this before. Makes me want to vomit, purge all these unwanted emotions from my body and be done with them.
But I can’t look away. I can’t focus on anything but her and my son.
“Tev! I was about to put Arlo down for the night when Vandy knocked on your door. She’s so good with Arlo, he reached out for her and fell asleep immediately.” Mom’s words sound innocent, but they are laced with so much “knowing” that I’m never going to hear the end of it. She likes Vandy, that’s obvious. She would never have given Vandy her grandchild to hold if she didn’t. The women of the Kosher Nostra appear open and accepting, but they are a shrewd judge of character. Within seconds, they make their decision, and it is final. Mom has welcomed Vandy into the family, just as Seril has.
I grunt out, “Did you need something?” Last I saw her, she was reminding me that we are nothing more than business, a responsibility of her employment.
Vandy’s throat moves as she swallows, her grip tightening ever so slightly on my son. “I was hoping to walk through your suite and figure out if there was anything to be done to make life easier for both of you.”
Live here with us. Moses, Aaron, and Miriam, I can’t believe I just thought that. What the fuck is wrong with me? I shake my head to rid myself of whatever the fuck that was, and motion for her to have a look around.
“Vandy?” Dad steps in from behind me. “Steven Frenkel. It’s a pleasure to meet you, young lady. Why don’t I take the little guy and Gert and I will put him to bed while you…look around.” Subtle. Not a word the Kosher Nostra understands.
“Nice to meet you, Steven.” Vandy gifts him a brilliant smile as she carefully hands over the limp body of Arlo. I’ve held that kid when he’s asleep, it is solid dead weight. Nothing weighs more than a sleeping child, as far as I’m concerned. Especially my child. Despite his illness, Arlo is above height and weight expectations at his age. He’s a big kid and will only get bigger.
Dad carries Arlo into his bedroom, Mom follows, spinning around once she’s behind Vandy and gives me a double thumbs up. I stifle a laugh at her antics, meeting Vandy’s eyes. She’s nervous in my presence. Biting her bottom lip and darting her eyes around the room but coming back to me every few seconds. The way the blush suffuses her skin draws me in and before I know it, I’m inches away, towering over her, my cock and I loving the size difference between us.
“You’re good with Arlo. He likes you.”
“He’s such a sweet boy. I have a list of things in my phone to check up on for his condition. I’ll get you an easy guide for dealing with MSUD; foods, activities, things to watch for. I can make copies for everyone that would be with him. It’s best to get everyone on the same page. I’m sure your family would feel bad if they gave him something his body couldn’t process. I caught a little of his bedtime routine with your mom. She’s great. And she loves Arlo so much. And you. Obviously. She’s your mom, of course she loves you. I don’t know if I said it. But you’re doing a good job with him. I wasn’t so sure when you spoke of him in the group. It’s clear that you’re trying. And that’s all any of us can do. Just try. Although Yoda said, ‘ do or do not, there is no try’ .”
She yelps when I bend low enough to fuse my mouth to hers. God help me, her rambling and terrible Yoda impression are endearing. Her words, though, the fact she’s noticed my effort to connect with my son, and how much she already likes my boy, incite something inside me that can only be quenched with her lips. Her tongue hesitantly touches mine. Her whimpers when I band my arm around her back and lift her effortlessly, so I don’t have to bend down so far. I drink from her mouth and it’s everything I knew it would be. Only better. Her arms around my neck, she holds on tight, opening to me willingly, letting me plunder her mouth.
Dad clears his throat and ruins the fucking moment. Vandy gasps in my arms, then squirms like Arlo when he wants to get down. On her feet, she takes a giant step back, staring at me in horror. Not the reaction a man wants from a woman after kissing her.
“Oh God! What have I…we can’t do that! This is so wrong. Seril’s gonna fire me.” Dad, Mom and I burst out laughing. Seril will do no such thing. Knowing the Sarai Ima, this was probably her plan all along. I’m not as mad as I should be about it, either. “I have to go!” She dodges my outstretched hand, running to the door, throwing it open and she’s gone. I could go after her, I could tell the guards to detain her. But she’s like a cornered animal right now, and I’m smart enough to know she needs space. And I need a cold shower.
“Your son is sound asleep. Go take care of that thing.” Mom points at my tented pants. “We’re leaving.” Mom grabs Dad’s hand and drags him from my suite. My cock dies a swift death when Dad winks at me, thrusting his hips slightly as he shuts the door behind him.
Fuck. That kiss…that’s too tame a word for what we just shared. If I was interested in her before, I think it’s safe to say I’m bordering on obsession now. She needs to process, and I’ll give her that time, but then I’m coming for her. Ready or not, she’s mine.
Great, now I sound like Ezra.