Tovah 20.
Smile on my lips, I want to linger in my dreams, my memories of Masud and I, but as I stretch in bed, my shoulder and chest pull painfully. I hiss, my eyes snapping open. I’m in a hospital room, surrounded by my family…and husband. Oh, that’s why they all look pissed off.
Well, they were bound to find out eventually. Though, I would have rather been the one to tell them…mostly to see their faces. And so Masud didn’t have to stand alone.
I look up at him with a soft smile. Ignoring the surprised gasps around the room, I focus on my husband. “Are you alright?” I ask, my voice strained. He nods, extending his hand toward my face. I hold still and keep my smile in place as he explores the contours of my face with the tips of his fingers. After not nearly enough time, he snaps his hand back. My smile only grows, knowing he reached his limit.
“Tovah, you better fucking explain and do it fast,” Dad growls from the end of my bed, a scowl contorting his face. Mom stands beside him, her hand on his tense back, Tevye on his other side. I wink at Vandy who mirrors my mother, and meet my father’s eyes. It pains me more than I can say to see the disappointment and hurt in them.
Tevye starts before I open my mouth to respond. “Married? Fucking married? And you never told me? As much as you and I are capable of having best friends, you are mine. We were Wombmates for fuck’s sake! We’ve joked that you were Satan’s offspring, but I’ve never thought you were evil.”
“Tevye—” Vandy tries but hospital bed or not, he won’t make me fucking feel bad for my actions.
“Oh, get off your fucking high horse! My relationship with Masud doesn’t concern you or anyone else. The details of our life together aren’t up for discussion or debate.”
“Who’s Masud?” I’m gonna fucking kill Zilv. I press the button to raise my bed, it’s slow and ruins my attempt at intimidation. Pretty much my entire family is in my private room. Thank God we don’t skimp with donations, or they wouldn’t fit.
“I love you. All of you. I know you might not understand how I love, but there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for my family. And that includes Masud.” I glare at Zilv. “But that’s part of the fucking problem, isn’t it? We’ve been at the top so long we’ve forgotten the people who prop us up. The Pharaoh,” I point at Masud. “His name is Masud. You’d know that, you fucking dickless degenerate, if you took the time to get to know the people around you. No matter that he is flesh and bone, heart and brain, a wounded soul…as long as he tortures and maims and carries out bloody justice for the Mishpocheh, who cares what his name is? Right, Zilv?”
“Well, when you put it that way.”
“I’ll get off my high horse when you get off yours. How long have you been married?”
I stare at my brother, then gaze up at my husband. “7 years.”
“Moses, Miriam, and Aaron.” Dramatic much? I swear Aunt Esther nearly passes out.
“Why would you…why would you keep it from us? Why wouldn’t you…you married someone without us. I didn’t get to walk you down the aisle. Give you away. You stole that from me, Tovah.”
“Dad—”
“You’ve been married 7 years?” Blanche cuts me off, her voice lethal and steady.
“Yes.”
“We just…what the fuck, Tov? You’ve been cheating on him!”
I shake my head. “No. I have not.”
“You can lie to him and yourself, but I won’t do that. I won’t be the ‘other’ woman! And my sister!” Blanche points at Dottie. Dottie grins knowingly at me. “You’ve been fucking your way through the female population of Charlotte and along the eastern seaboard.”
“That’s a gross exaggeration.”
“It’s just gross.” Moshe’s face scrunches up.
“Don’t be jelly,” I tease but this is not the right crowd. Masud steps closer to the head of the bed, a solid pillar of support next to me. I feel the underlying tension that thrums through his big body. I look up at him with a genuine smile. I won’t tell his story, his past, his childhood, they aren’t mine to share.
“Not jealous. You’re a cheater—” Motherfucker.
“Ezra, watch yourself.”
“Why? You’ve been having affair after affair while your husband has been none the wiser—”
“Ez, stop.” Dottie tries and I love her for it. But Ezra is riding this sanctimonious horse all the way to the end.
“This whole time…every word out of your mouth—”
“HE WATCHES!” The room silences at Dottie’s exclamation. Sighing, I shrug and slide back down into bed, the entirety of my upper left chest and shoulder on fire.
Ezra stares at her like she’s grown a second head. “What? Was he…” Ez swallows hard, “Was he in the room with you when you…?”
“The mirror,” Blanche mumbles, Dottie points at her.
“Yes. The mirror. He’s on the other side, isn’t he?” Biting my bottom lip, I dip my chin in confirmation.
“So, you aren’t a lesbian?” Harper’s question comes out of nowhere and I start laughing. My cousins and brother join, but my aunts, uncles, and parents aren’t as amused.
“I’m bisexual.”
“I’ve only ever seen or heard of you with women.” I tap the side of my nose then point at Harper. The men of the Kosher Nostra have chosen intelligent partners.
“Out of respect for my husband and our marriage…with his consent.”
“Okay. This is none of our business.” Mom claps her hands to get everyone’s attention. “She’s just woken up from major surgery, this isn’t the time or the place.” She approaches Masud and reaches out to put her hand on his arm.
“Don’t touch him,” I tell her as he recoils.
Hands in front of her, she’s instantly contrite. “I’m sorry, Masud.”
“Mom, Dad, can you give Masud and I a few minutes alone?” They exchange a look I’m familiar with, communicating telepathically, before they agree. “I’ll tell you anything you want to know, within reason, as soon as I speak to my husband.”
It takes a few minutes, the girls coming up to give me a quick hug, the guys waving as they leave, shaking their heads and whispering. “Do you need anything?” Ruthie asks and out of everything, her tenderness and concern for me bring tears to my eyes.
“No, you need to leave. I’m about to piss emotion.” She laughs, kisses my cheek, wiggles her fingers at Masud, and lets Zeppo lead her out.
Dad sighs pointing a menacing finger at Masud, “We’ll be having words.”
Tev chuckles, “We’ll be throwing fists.”
“Try it,” I dare both of them. Tev’s eyes flare, knowing he might try but I’ll succeed.
“Sorry, kiddo, you can’t intimidate your way out of this one.” My heart clenches as I watch my dad hold out his elbow for Mom and leave my room, Tev and Vandy following behind.
The door closes and with it my eyes. That was a lot first thing after anesthesia. Masud’s a comforting presence at my side. “Baby, are you sure you’re alright?”
He makes a noise of disgust, “I was not the one who got shot. Are you alright?”
“I’m alive. You’re here. My family knows about us. I grossed a few of them out. All in all, I’m good.” Shifting closer to him without touching, I ask, “Did I get the bad guys?”
“Most. However, Baird was not among them.”
“Shame.”
He sighs, his hand resting on the hospital bed above my head, his long fingers playing with my hair. “You can tell them.” I hum, enjoying having him nearby. I just got shot and had major surgery, I can indulge a little. “Everything.”
“Not my story to tell.”
“They need to know, Tov. To understand. To accept.” I hear the scrape of a chair and open my eyes to find him sitting down with a pensive look. “Perhaps—”
“If you say we should consider a divorce, I will gut you, then reanimate your corpse a la Weekend at Bernie’s and keep you in my bedroom until I die.”
He coughs a laugh. “Sounds more like Norman Bates . And not a divorce. Just time for things to settle.”
“Do you love me?” I ask, smirking when I recall asking him that years ago when he tried to pull this shit.
“To the marrow of my bones.”
“Then kindly shut up.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Are you sure, Masud? I don’t have to tell them anything. Or you can tell them, maybe that might help? Getting some of it out.” He thinks it over, his dark eyes trained over my head.
“I will try. For you.”
“I love you, Masud. You know that, right?”
His entire expression softens, his eyes warm. “There are few certainties in life, omri , but your love is one of them.”