Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-Four
LIVIANNA/LILY
Then
Love Turns Its Back & Dares You to Survive
Some loves don’t leave…they twist until survival feels like treason.
Iclimb out of the back seat of my dad’s car. “Thanks again for getting me home. I have so much to do.”
My dad carries my bags into the house as my mom waits for me to get out. I slip my bracelets over my bandages, praying my parents won’t notice. Thankfully, it’s January and I can wear long sleeves until the fresh cuts are healed.
I don’t tell them the real reason I asked them to fly me home was so I didn’t have to see John. He’s never going to get me into a situation he can use against me again. He’s lost all my trust.
My mom ushers me inside. “You have two more weeks before filming starts again. What we need to do is sit down and go over the stories that are being released. I want you to be around people who love you when you see them.”
“Whatever you think is best.”
She gets some snacks and water for us while I shower and change into a cozy velour sweatsuit and fluffy slippers. A few times, memories of what happened with Tony sneak into my thoughts and I bury them.
People have gone through a lot worse than I did. Besides, I’m an actress and can use the experience to tap into other parts of myself that might arise.
Yeah, that’s how I’ll look at that experience. An opportunity for me to use it in my acting career. Actually, I can pretend it was a movie role.
I nod to myself. That feels better than anything else I’ve come up with.
I wander down to her office once I’m ready to be smacked in the face with all the pictures from last night that will be all over the internet, magazines, and entertainment news stations.
My rib cage feels empty. In fact, I’m numb all over.
I knock on her door as I enter. “You’ll be happy to know I’ve taken my anxiety medicine as instructed.”
“I know you don’t like it, but I think in this case it’s the best thing for you.”
“Um-hmm.” I sit across from her at her contemporary desk.
There aren’t any drawers. It’s more like a rectangular, classy wood table. I scoot my chair in and glance at her computer. It’s facing sideways so we can both see the screen.
She clicks on a file folder and it opens. Pictures take form and make a square.
My mom peers over at me. “Are you ready to view these?”
“Yep. I already know what they are, so what difference does it make?”
“Just be prepared, Livianna.”
I motion with my finger to give it a spin. She hits a button and a slide show starts. They’re the images she told me about, so I’m not upset. If anything, they aren’t as bad as I thought they would be.
Callum has a strange glow in his eyes, which goes along with what he told me about being drugged. I shrug it off and get ready to leave, feeling better about Callum than I did going in. I get up to retreat to my room and take a nap.
My mom stops me. “You need to sit down, Livianna. There’s another file folder we haven’t gone through.”
“Okay…” I return to my seat. “When did these new photos come in?”
“While you were on the plane.” She gives me a sympathetic smile. “These are much more personal and they’re going to be printed along with the others.”
“Just show me and let’s get it over with.”
She opens the next file and starts the slide show. She moves through these images much slower than the others. The reason…because they’re text messages between Callum and Faith. The thread goes on for a year and doesn’t end until last night.
Him: I had a great time with you last night. I’m glad we met.
Faith: Me too. Thanks for the necklace. I’ll cherish it and our night together for as long as I live.
Him: Glad you like it.
Faith: When do I get to see you again?
Him: The next time I’m in Long Beach, or you can always come up to North Hollywood and visit me. I could show you around.
Faith: That would be fun, but I don’t drive.
There’s a month where there’s nothing exchanged. She starts up the chat again.
Faith: We need to meet. Can you come down to Long Beach?
Him: Sorry, I’m slammed with work and family shit.
Faith: No. You don’t understand.
Him: What?
Faith: I think I’m pregnant.
What the fuck? He never told me about that.
Him: Are you sure?
Faith: No, that’s why I want you here when I find out.
Him: I’ll make time. When and where.
Faith: I’m sending you a calendar invite with all the information.
Him: Okay. I’ll see you then.
She sends him an invite through his messages and the texts stop for about three months. She starts the thread again.
Faith: Surprise. I’m in LA. Ready to show me around?
Him: How long are you in town?
Faith: For good. We moved here.
Him: That’s cool.
Faith: Now we can have that relationship we talked about when you were in Long Beach the last time.
Him: Stop by my house sometime and we can see where it goes.
He sends his address. I close my eyes as the betrayal starts to sink in. He told me it was a one-time thing.
Yeah right, he doesn’t lie. Motherfucker, I’ve been played.
My mom scrolls through a bunch more text like the previous exchanges. I’m to the point I don’t care anymore, but then there’s a group of messages that catches my attention.
He starts the thread, but that’s not what gets me. It’s the date that does. The day they returned from touring, right before we started dating.
Him: Hey, I’m back in town. Wanna come over?
Faith: Sure. I can be there in an hour.
Him: Don’t make me wait a minute longer.
Faith: Why? Did you miss me?
Him: You’re like a drug I can’t get out of my system. I need more. I want more.
Faith: You always do.
Him: Always will.
My heart cracks in two. He wants her and always will. Everything he’s ever told me is a lie. My insides empty and I get dizzy.
I place my palm over my mom’s hand to stop her. “I don’t want to read anymore. We already know what we need to know. Callum hasn’t been honest with me.”
“Understood, but there aren’t many more. After that last group of texts, they quit communicating until last night. Do you want to read those?”
“Why? So I can see he lied about that, too?” Tears fall in waves down my cheeks. “Just tell me what they say.”
“He asked her to be in the front row last night so he could show her that he still cares about her. He told her to put out her hand and as he walked by shaking the hands of all the fans, he would take hers and hold it and that would be the sign she’s been waiting for.”
“So I’ve been the substitute just keeping him busy until he can commit to her. Got it, Mom. It’s just as I thought. Thanks.” I stand as I tremble with tears pouring from my soul.
I’ll always be second best. The replica or next best thing.
“Livianna, your publicist wants to know how you want to handle it.”
“Have them release a statement saying I’m young and learning. Add that I’ve ended it with him. Tell them I’m going to focus on work and take the next couple of weeks to heal and move on. And please respect my privacy.”
“So the standard breakup response?”
“Yes. That’s perfect.” I choke on a sob. “I want to be alone now, Mom. Can I please go to my room?”
“Yes, darling. I’ll have your publicist send the release soon.” She rounds the desk and takes me in a firm embrace. “I’m sorry, Livianna. Maybe it’s best you found out now before anything went further between the two of you.”
I cry harder. She has no clue how far Callum and I have taken our relationship. We’re too good at sneaking around. We keep our contact to brief kisses and hand-holding when my parents are around. All that’s gone now.
I push out of her arms and hide in my room. Bren tries to talk to me when he gets home, but I tell him I don’t want to.
I overhear my dad tell him about the text messages between Callum and Faith. Bren stays in his room after that.
At midnight, I get a text from him.
Bren: Just so you know, you haven’t heard from Cash today because he lost his phone on NYE. He won’t be able to get a new one until the stores open tomorrow.
Me: It won’t matter. Mom sent a media release responding to the tabloid articles coming out this week.
Bren: What does it say?
Me: It’s over between Callum and me. I’m focusing on work.
Bren: You sure about this?
Me: He lied to me. Tons of texts to prove it.
Bren: Yeah, but are you sure they’re really from him?
Me: Yes. They’re from his phone and between Faith and him. They started a year ago and ended last night.
Bren: Don’t be so quick to believe what you saw.
Me: Why do you say that?
Bren: After our show, I got a bunch of messages from him, and he swears on his dad’s grave that they’re not from him. You saw my text that he lost his phone, right?
Me: It doesn’t matter. The messages before last night prove he’s lied to me on more than one occasion.
Bren: How’s your anxiety?
Me: Fine. Mom made me take my medication before she showed me everything.
Bren: Good. Sleep well but think about hearing Cash out. Even if you don’t believe it, I know he loves you. I’m with him all the time and he doesn’t cheat on you.
Me: Night, Bren.
I make it out of bed and to the kitchen a little after noon. There’s a note on the island from my mom and dad saying they went to a movie and then they’re going to drive down the coast for an early dinner to enjoy a day alone.
They try to be sweet with each other and take time out of their busy schedules to make the other feel important, especially after my mom has to handle a situation surrounding me. As happy as I am for them, my insides sink at the thought.
Callum could’ve left that party and come looking for me even if he didn’t have a phone. It’s just a reminder that his life as a rockstar is more important than me. And why shouldn’t it be? Just like everyone says, we’re young.
Once I’ve made breakfast, I sit and eat while I scroll through my phone. I rarely go to the gossip sites, but my statement went out this morning. Since my mom isn’t here, I want to know what’s being reported.
Bren slides onto the stool next to me. “Did you make enough eggs and bacon for me?”
“Yes. I knew the smell would lure you out of bed.”
“So it was a planned attack on my sleep.” He gets up and strolls over to the stove. “I’ll remember that for the future.”
“What? That I like cooking for my brother?”
“No.” He fixes himself a plate. “That you would rather disrupt my rest than be by yourself.”
If only he knew how true that statement was. I woke up feeling lost and missing Callum, but I’m confused. Nothing makes sense even though I’ve seen enough to know Callum has lied to me.
Bren sits next to me and digs into his meal. “Damn, I needed this. The only thing that’s missing is some toast.”
“If you let me finish, I’ll make you some.” I push my food around, knowing I’m not going to eat much more. My appetite is almost gone. I’m nauseous and devastated.
“Deal.” Bren shoves a piece of bacon in his mouth.
The door alarm chime goes off, indicating someone has entered the house.
I glance at Bren. “Any idea who that could be?”
He shakes his head, but Callum makes his presence known before Bren can swallow his food.
Callum marches into the kitchen with crazed eyes and slams a cheap gossip newspaper down in front of me. “Is this the reason you put out that shitty statement today?”
I pull back as my heart jumps out of my chest. “What are you talking about?”
He shoves the paper my way, breathing erratically. I peer down at it. The front cover shows photos of Tony and me laughing as we ride around in the golf cart.
There’s another picture kind of stacked on top of that one. I’m holding on to him as he leads me into the hotel, and the final one is an image of me kissing his cheek as I’m opening the door to the hotel suite.
Shit! I forgot about those.
I push the tabloid away. “Those don’t mean anything. They were part of the same setup that you went through.”
“Not even close.” He spins my stool so we’re directly in front of each other. His face is red and betrayal covers his eyes. “I wasn’t kissing anyone or leading them into my hotel suite after riding around and partying with them all night.”
“No, but you were in bed with someone and holding her hand on stage.” I jump off my seat and try to storm past him.
He grips my arm and swings me back to him. “You know I was drugged and nothing happened. Can you say the same?”
I was on drugs, but not the same kind he claims were given to him. And something definitely went down between Tony and me. My eyes must expose the haunting truth because Callum flinches back.
“Did you fuck him, Lily?” He blinks several times, then explodes as if he can’t believe it. “Is that why you broke up with me through the media? Because you couldn’t face me and tell me the truth?”
“No!” I ball my hands into fists at my sides. “I—”
“You did something. That’s why you caught a flight back. You couldn’t face me.” He releases his hold on me in haste. “You messed around with him and that’s why you were cutting on yourself. You had to do something to release the guilt.”
“Enough, Cash!” The stool behind me scratches the hardwood floor as Bren pushes out of it. “She didn’t do anything with him, you asshole.”
“You know what happened and refuse to tell me.” Callum steps to Bren, squaring off. “You’re covering for her.”
“You’re such a stupid, self-absorbed prick.” Bren gets nose to nose with him, their chests touching. “If you weren’t off trying to escape Ur Boyz by staging some publicity stunt, you would’ve come back to the hotel with me and your uncle. You would’ve seen for yourself what really took place.”
Electricity ricochets through me in waves of pure panic. “Brendan Brooks Hemings, don’t you dare say another word or I’ll never—”
“See, right there.” Callum points at me. “She’s got you by the balls and that’s why you won’t tell me the truth.”
“You want the truth, bro? He tried to fucking rape her.” Bren forces Callum away with a hard shove. “There’s your fucking truth, you arrogant dick.”
I coil into myself, close my eyes, and lower my head. One of my worst nightmares was just exposed to the one person I never wanted to know.
Callum won’t believe I didn’t do something to provoke Tony. The pictures on the cover of the magazine tell another story.
A story that I was the one who brought it on. With that, I know Callum Mayze will never look at me the same.