Chapter 27
Chapter Twenty-Seven
CALLUM/CASH
Then
The Pulse Beneath Blue & Purple
Not all bruises fade…some keep beating until they own you whole.
Istare down at Livianna with my jaw almost hitting the floor. “What?”
“You heard me.” She rests her forehead in her palm as she hangs her head over the toilet bowl. “I’m sorry.”
My world stops. She can’t be serious.
What the fuck am I thinking? Of course she is. We’ve been stupid, careless teenagers thinking we’re indestructible as long as we’re together.
I spin away and march to the other room. This can’t be happening. I don’t have any way to take care of a baby. I wanna punch myself in the face a few times for thinking with my dick.
The problem with that thought is every time we had sex without a condom, I was trying to show her I thought she was worth the risk. I just didn’t think it would happen.
We’ve only been sexually active since my birthday. I figured we’d get her on the pill within the month and everything would be okay.
My blood turns hot and my pulse races. I don’t know how to be a pops. Fucking hell, I don’t know how to be anything. I’m seventeen.
She comes out of the bathroom after she’s showered and back into her clothes from yesterday. Her face is splotchy and red.
My heart sinks. She’s been in there crying and dealing with this alone. I collapse inside at the same time wanting to erupt.
“We’ll figure this out together.” I take her in my arms.
She holds me around my waist. “We don’t even know if that’s what’s going on.”
“You complained on New Year’s Eve you felt tired and bloated. On the way up here, you thought you were car sick a couple of times. Let’s not fool ourselves.”
“What are we going to do?”
“We’ll drive back to LA and pick up a test to make sure.”
“Then what?”
“We’ll take it from there.” I swallow hard.
“My parents are going to be furious.” She squeezes me. “What have I done, Callum?”
“It’s what we’ve done. I was there, too.”
We hold each other as our worlds spin a million miles an hour. I nudge her and tell her I need a shower.
Once I’m done, we go to the hotel’s restaurant and grab a quick bite so we can put the check on the room since I don’t have enough cash on my debit card.
She nibbles on toast with tears sitting on the edge of her eyelashes. Every second, I shrink that much smaller.
How could I have put her in this situation?
We leave and drive back to LA barely speaking. My heart thunders as I tremble down the mountain. We pull into the city and I find a convenience store.
I park my car and gaze her way. “Do you wanna come in with me?”
“No. If we’re both in there, we’ll draw too much attention to ourselves.”
“True. So what am I looking for?”
“A pregnancy test with quick results.”
“Any specific kind?”
“I’ve never paid attention to them. I don’t know.”
My hands tingle and I get lightheaded. “Okay. I’ll figure it out.”
“Thanks.” She hangs her head. “I know you’re mad at me and I’m sorry, Callum.”
I swallow the hurtful words that are crawling up my throat. This isn’t her fault.
I push the car door open and trek inside. Once I find the aisle with a million different types of tests, I stand frozen. This is something I never thought I’d be doing. I have no idea what I’m looking for.
A female store employee who appears to be in her early thirties joins me by my side, and I nearly jump out of my skin. I had no idea anyone was around me.
She grabs one off the shelf. “This is the best one and it’s not too expensive.”
“How much is it?”
“It’s thirteen dollars.”
“Thirteen. That’s a lucky number, right?”
“Sure.” She hands it to me and smiles. “I hope you get the answer you want. Come with me and I’ll ring you up.”
I follow her with my limbs shaking and sweat collecting on my upper lip. I pay and she places the test in a paper bag.
As I’m walking out of the store, I trip over my own shoes and almost faceplant on the sidewalk. The bag flies out of my hand. The box slides out and stops at some dude’s feet.
He reaches down and picks it up as I get stable. He glances at it and then at me.
“Thanks.” I grab it from him. “Have a good day.”
“I’m sure it will be better than yours.” He laughs as he enters the store.
Fucking prick.
I get back in my car and hand the test to Livianna. “Where are you gonna take this?”
“Can we go to your house? My parents are home today. There’s no way I can do it there.”
I glance out the window. My ma’s probably at our place, but she would be more understanding than Livianna’s parents.
“Yeah. We should be fine there.” I pull out of the parking lot and drive to my house with my stomach in knots.
We get out of the car and I take her hand. “I’m not mad. Just freaked out.”
“Me too.” She leans into me.
I slide my arm around her shoulders and lead her into the living room. I search the area for any signs of my ma or uncle, but neither of them is here.
“We lucked out.” I take in a deep breath. “Nobody’s here, so we have some privacy.”
“Where should I do this?” She holds out the bag.
“The bathroom in the hallway.” I show her the way even though she knows where it is. “I’ll be waiting in my room.”
“Okay. I’ll come find you when I’m done.” She shuffles inside and closes the door with tears trickling down her cheeks.
She knows what the results are gonna be. We both do.
I sit on my bed and rub my face in my palms. This is a shit situation. I stare at the floor, feeling as if my life is about to end. The minutes tick on like hours.
Livianna’s black Chucks come into view. I raise my head to find her shaking, pale, and with rivers of tears flowing from her eyes. She drops the box and the plastic stick on my floor.
I rise to my feet and pull her into my chest. She just confirmed everything I already knew. She’s pregnant. We’re not even adults and we’re going to be parents. My mind goes blank and I turn numb.
“Callum, I’ll find someone who can take care of this for us.” She weeps. “I’m sure someone at the studio will know how to help me.”
“What does that mean?” I step back with my face bunching together. “Someone to help you with what?”
“We can’t have a baby. It would destroy everything.”
Oh, fucking hell no. I didn’t even consider she’d be thinking this way.
“Lily, we don’t have a choice. Like it or not, we’re having a kid.”
“Are you crazy?” Her face turns bright red. “How the fuck do you expect us to raise a baby? We’re not even old enough to rent an apartment. And my parents will kick me out.”
“Yeah, we should’ve thought about that before now, but here we are.” My heart rate kicks up. “We’ll just have to live here with my ma.”
“Callum, you’re talking like an insane person right now. I’m fifteen.”
“Yeah, and I’m seventeen. We don’t get to change that. I know we’re not ready, but people our age get pregnant every day and have babies. We don’t have a choice.”
“Yes, we do.”
I shake my head as a wall of iron takes over me. “No, we don’t. It’s against my religion.”
“So? What does that have to do with it?”
“I don’t believe in abortion, Livianna.”
“But—”
“No fucking way will I let you go through with it.”
She grows taller as her back straightens and her hands plant on her hips. “You can’t stop me. It’s my body.”
“That’s my baby, too.”
“So?”
“Livianna, I will stop you. Just try me.”
“How do you plan on doing that?”
“I’ll tell your parents. Hell, I’ll go to the media. I’ll let everyone know.”
She glares spears of hate my way. “You wouldn’t dare.”
“Wrong, Livianna. I would.” My heart thumps wildly as my chest rises and falls in quick succession. “I lost my pops. You can’t take my kid from me, too. I won’t let you.”
Her gaze softens. She lowers her head as her shoulders shake. “Callum, I’ll lose everything.”
I rush to her and take her in my arms. “You won’t lose me. Not if you agree to keep it.”
“But how… How do we even make it work?”
“You have the money from your show.”
“They’ll fire me the second they find out.” She cries into my shirt, soaking it to my skin.
She’s right. They’ll never let her keep her job. I push her away a little but still hold her in my embrace.
I stare with determination growing in my heart. “Then I’ll do what I’m meant to do and make Mayhem the biggest band out there. It might take a little while, but I’ll support all of us.”
She wipes her tears away. “Do you really think we can make this work?”
“I know we can. It won’t be easy, but I know we can. People do it all the time.” I take her over to my bed and sit her down.
I pace before her, thinking about how to tell my ma and her family. This is gonna be a nightmare, but I’m not gonna lose my baby just to make everyone feel better. That’s not who I am as a man.
Who would be willing to help us and be on our side?
A thought comes to mind. “I met a few producers on New Year’s Eve. Maybe one of them could help me get Mayhem started.”
Her gaze sweeps around my face. “Are you sure you want to be tied to me like this?”
I kneel before her. “What did I say to you up in the mountains?”
“That you’d love me forever.”
“Exactly. We’re already tied to each other for life. We were from the second we met.”
“I think so, too.”
“Then let me prove to you I can do this. I can be the man and the father to our baby that you need me to be.”
“I’m scared.” Her body shrinks. “What if I mess everything up and we lose it all?”
“Lily, together we’ll get through this.”
Something flies by us and lands on the bed. We both jump and check to see what it is.
A new cell phone lies on my comforter. I turn around and my uncle’s standing in the doorway.
His eyes are bloodshot. He’s either high or drunk. Probably both if I had my guess.
He stumbles into the room. “Betcha enjoyed your freedom.”
“What?” I stand and block Livianna from him.
He set her up by putting her with that asshole on New Year’s Eve. Neither one of us trusts my uncle around her.
I’m sure he’s another person who’s trying to break us up. Why? I don’t know, but he doesn’t make sense when he’s screwed up in the head.