Chapter Eight
Adrian
My first reaction when I saw the post was to run and hide. But as I thought about it more, I got pissed beyond reasoning, and I snatched the phone away from Rip and called John. He picked up, already laughing.
“I didn’t think you’d see it that quickly.”
“How dare you? What the fuck did you do? I told you to stop filming.”
“I don’t answer to you, kid. I had some extra footage, and after I got back to the station and sent off the clips to Bryan, I contacted my friend in charge of the Out in Sports social-media page.”
“You bastard.”
“Damn, listen to you. Got a little temper there, don’tcha? I didn’t know you had it in you.”
“Fuck you,” I spat. I’d never been so angry. Not for me, but for Rip, whose privacy had been invaded. “I’m never working with you again. How dare you sell someone’s privacy like that?”
Rip had taken his phone, and his face contorted in anger. The first video was Rip on the phone, his face taut, with heartbreak in his eyes. The second was my arm around Rip and him leaning on me before we walked away. It made us look like lovers.
“Is what it is. By the way, those interviews you did were okay. Bryan was happy.”
Without answering, I ended the call but had no chance to talk to Rip because Neil called me. “I can’t talk right now.”
“Good. So listen. I told you it’s not a good idea to get too close to Rip. Why can’t you listen to me? I know him.”
From Rip’s sadness over his brief conversation with his father, I suspected Neil didn’t know his best friend as well as he thought. He sure as hell didn’t know me.
“Yeah? Well, maybe not. I’ll talk to you later. Bye.” I ended the call and sat by Rip’s side. “I’m so sorry. You know I didn’t want this to happen.”
“What? The rumors about you and me? Screw that.” He set the phone aside, ignoring it, though I could see numerous texts popping up. “Do…did John say anything about the phone call? Do they—did he say he knew whom I was talking to?”
“No, no. He didn’t say anything, and I’m sure he couldn’t possibly know. And I’ll never tell.”
“I know. You’re a good kid.”
“Again? I thought we’d gotten past this crap.” My lips thinned. “For the last time—I’m not a kid. I’m only eight years younger than you. Maybe when you were sixteen and I was eight it made a difference, but it doesn’t anymore.”
Rip didn’t answer, but checked his messages, his lip curling. “Look at this. Of course Denis would be the first to text me.”
He’s so cute. And young. Guess you’re ready to be the boss now.
“I swear,” he grumbled. “It would serve all of them right if we did start dating, just to annoy Neil and make Denis jealous.” He chuckled.
“Even my agent wants to know if the rumors are true, but he’s just being nosy about my love life.
Ezra and his husband are ridiculously happy, and he wants that for all his gay clients. ”
Though happy for his mood shift, annoyance still swirled through me. “Yeah. Neil won’t stop treating me like a little kid. Like he knows what’s best for me and that’s not you.”
“Really?” His lips thinned. “So I’m good enough to be his friend, just not a boyfriend for his little brother?”
Uh-oh. I hadn’t meant to hurt Rip’s feelings.
“I mean…it’s only because he’s so stupidly overprotective.
No one would be good enough.” I nudged his shoulder.
“Let’s eat our dinner, and maybe you can give me some insight into the players in the league?
It’ll help me to prepare for your interview.
” I unpacked the burgers and set them and the fries in front of us, then busied myself getting the ketchup, salt, and pepper.
His thoughtful eyes on me, Rip sat frowning, and an unpleasant concept struck me.
“Unless you don’t want to do it anymore because you think it’ll cause too much gossip about the two of us and it might screw with your concentration on the game.” My phone vibrated with a multitude of texts. Rip tilted his head.
“Your turn. Who are those from?”
I didn’t want to check, but the flood of texts didn’t stop. I groaned and picked it up. Reading the first few texts, I sighed with frustration. “Louie, Rob, and of course, Neil.”
“What’re they saying?” Rip had started to eat, and the words came out muffled.
I cast a despairing gaze to the ceiling.
“This is from Louie: Thought you weren’t dating?
Bet your ratings are going to be through the roof.
The next is from Neil: Call me tomorrow.
We need to talk.” I saved the best—or worst—for last and winced reading Rob’s text.
I didn’t repeat everything he said. Glad you took my advice.
See me tomorrow about the sports talk-show idea.
We’ll probably make it work now that you bring so much more to the table.
If Rip weren’t here, I’d probably have thrown my phone in frustration. “Uh…not much else. Rob wants to talk to me about the sports-show project.” I left out the part about taking his advice since it made me sound calculating.
“That’s a good thing.” Rip wiped his mouth, but when I didn’t respond with enthusiasm, he set his burger on the plate. “Or not? What aren’t you telling me?” I didn’t answer. His lips tightened and his eyes narrowed. “Adrian? Spit it out.”
Heat rose through my entire body, and sweat broke out on my back, sending a trickle down my spine. The last thing I wanted Rip to discover was the desperate secret crush I’d had on him since I was a kid.
“Rob’s been insinuating that if we were…involved, it would be easier to sell the show, and the ratings would be higher.” My face burned. I was certain it must be bright red. I ducked my head. “I’m sorry. It’s so ridiculous, and he’s—”
“Hey.” To my shock, Rip reached out and covered my hand with his. The rough skin of his large palm stirred a low throb in my belly, and my heart pounded. His gaze held mine, and a slow grin kicked up his lips. “Hold on a minute. Maybe it’s not.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, even as my heart leaped. “I’m sorry, what?”
“Well…everyone seems to think it’s already happening, why not give them something to talk about? You and me dating. You’ll get the benefit of our fake dating, helping you with the show’s ratings. It can only be good for your career.”
My stomach rebelled, and I thought I might be sick.
“I’ve never been so embarrassed in my life.
I’m not…I can’t ask you to do that. It’s not fair to put you in the position of having to pretend to be my boyfriend.
You shouldn’t have to force yourself.” The words left a bitter taste on my tongue.
If only it were true…but Rip hadn’t suggested we try and date for real. He only wanted to pretend.
“I’m not that altruistic.” His hearty laughter boomed in my small apartment.
“You act like it’s a hardship to be close to you.
” His fingers played with mine. “To be honest, it hurts like hell to think Neil doesn’t feel I’m good enough to be your boyfriend, that he’s so against it.
He deserves to be played for being so angry that we might be together. Let him sweat.”
“This has to be the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard,” I muttered, even as my heart screamed, Yes. Do it. You know you want to.
“Why?”
“Because…because,” I sputtered, “what if you meet someone you actually want to date? You’re stuck with me.”
He squeezed my hand. “We’re in the thick of the season, fighting for the championship.
When I’m playing, I’m not out looking for anyone.
My concentration is solely on the game and winning the Cup.
I’m not sure how many more seasons I’ve got, Adrian.
And I want it so bad, it’s all I can think of morning, noon, and night.
Now that Denis and I aren’t together, it’s the only thing I’ve got to look forward to in my life. ”
My heart squeezed at his heartfelt words.
I’m right here, I wanted to scream. We could be good together.
But I couldn’t put Rip in that position of refusing me. I knew he’d feel bad about it.
“Okay, what about this?” I argued. “Define our relationship. Do I stay over? Do we go out in public?”
It took Rip a moment to figure it out. “I have two bedrooms, so yeah, to make it look realistic, you could stay over when I’m playing at home.
And of course we’ll go out to dinner if you want, but like I said before, I’m a homebody who likes hanging out on my couch, watching television and enjoying quiet time.
I’m not a clubber or a party guy. Been there, done that.
” He looked introspective, and I wondered if he was thinking about Denis and the life he’d lost.
“I just don’t understand why you want to do this for me.”
Seemingly frustrated with me, Rip carded his fingers through his dark hair. “Why not? I want you to succeed. I’m your friend.”
“No,” I replied with a stubborn edge. “You’re Neil’s friend.”
“Maybe this arrangement can change that. I could use as many friends as I can get.” He stared past me, his eyes distant.
Could it be true that behind the devil-may-care smile and multimillion-dollar salary that could buy him anything he wanted, there lurked a man who might be as lonely as me?
“Plus,” he continued, “your family made all this possible for me.” He swept a hand in front of him. “Who knows where I might’ve ended up if your parents hadn’t taken me in?”
A lead weight bottomed out in my stomach. “Oh…so you’re doing this out of a bizarre sense of gratitude. Like repaying a debt you think you owe them?” That hurt me more than anything.
But even as I spoke, he shook his head. “No. But what would it matter anyway? There’s no difference.
The end result justifies the means. You’ll get noticed by the powers that be and get the recognition you deserve.
That will help you move up the ladder and give you a chance to leverage this opportunity for a meatier role. ”
Dammit. I hated that his argument had merit. “I don’t know…” I crumpled up the remains of my dinner, my stomach rebelling against any more food.
“Oh…wait. I get it.”
“What’re you talking about?” I took his trash as well and stuffed it into the bag. “What’s there to get?”
“Listen.” He rose from his seat to join me in my cramped kitchen area. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think of the other way around. If you meet someone else, I’ll step aside but still talk you up to the station. I wouldn’t want to stand in the way of you finding a boyfriend. That’s more likely.”
The sincerity in Rip’s eyes almost brought tears to mine, if only it wasn’t so laughable.
Me? Find someone better than Ripley Tremaine?
“That’s definitely not going to be a problem.
I haven’t had guys beating down my door, and nothing’s changed.
” I couldn’t humiliate myself any further and tell him I’d never had a real boyfriend, and as for the few men I’d been with, none compared to my dream of him. He didn’t ever need to know.
Rip’s face registered surprise. “Are you shitting me?” He grimaced when I nodded. “I mean, let’s be real. Guys can be dicks.”
I lifted a shoulder. “I guess so. Maybe.”
He checked his phone. “It’s getting late, and I need to be up early tomorrow for morning practice. I can’t be late.”
“Of course.” He hadn’t left, yet I already missed him, knowing I wouldn’t see him for a while. Silly, it had only been a few days since we’d reconnected, but Rip had given me a taste of a world I’d been ignoring. Something I hadn’t known I was missing but now desperately wanted to be part of.
Or was it him I wanted? Angry with myself for reverting to an old fantasy, I concentrated on my work. Rip was correct. Us pretending to be together would certainly cause a buzz. But was it the right way for me to succeed? Only time would tell. “I guess I’ll see you.”
“I’ll call you from the road to see how it’s going.”
As he requested a car on his phone, we walked to the door. “I’m still not sure about this.”
He squeezed my shoulder. “Sleep on it, and you’ll see I’m right. There’s no downside to this idea. You’ll get the inside scoop to help your career, and hopefully it’ll stop people from assuming I’m devastated over Denis and me breaking up.”
Was he? Did Rip still think about Denis and wish they were together? His hand remained on me, and I never wanted to move. I hadn’t been touched in years and I tried to remain casual, but it was an impossible task. I could only hope Rip didn’t feel the tremors running under my skin.
“You’d better get going,” I muttered, not trusting my voice to remain steady, and opened the door.
For one crazy second I thought Rip might lean in and kiss me. My lips tingled with anticipation. Then his face grew taut, and he backed out of my apartment. As usual, I was wrong. He didn’t want me.
“Night, Adrian.”
God, he couldn’t wait to get away from me.
I closed the door behind him and leaned against it.
“Stop acting like this is anything more than exactly what Rip said. A way to get ahead. He’s nice enough to want to help.
You should just do what he said and take advantage of it.
He’ll never be anything more than a friend. ”
No matter how I wished he were so much more.