Chapter 22 #3
“You will see certain behaviors rooted in that. Hyper vigilance. Startle responses. Overprotectiveness. Emotional disconnect that reads as coldness. Difficulty trusting authority. Strong loyalty to teammates but reluctance to open up individually.”
My throat tightens because this is familiar terrain.
“Do not push for stories. Do not ask for details. Just make them feel safe, be predictable, structured. Trauma responds best to non-chaotic environments. Some international players think they are being respectful when they go quiet. Some think they are being honest when they speak bluntly. Some think they are bonding when they tease. You will be the cultural interpreter more than once.” She smiles a little.
“And believe me, you will prevent at least ten fights a season by explaining context.”
She leans back and exhales before diving deeper.
“Many of them send money home. They support whole households. They feel responsible for parents, siblings, and cousins. When a player from overseas gets injured, his first worry is not his body; it is whether his family will be okay if he loses playing time.” She sighs softly.
“That guilt is invisible, but it is heavy. Some of them come from warmer climates and struggle with East Coast winters. They get depressed around January and February. It affects sleep, energy, and motivation. They will not call it depression. They will call it being tired.” She gives me a firm look.
“You catch that. You normalize it. You help them regulate. They will lean on you before they lean on anyone else.” She smiles warmly.
“They respond to kindness quickly. Faster than you think.” She clears her throat, “What will cause them to pull away? Patronizing language, jokes about accents, speaking too fast, assuming they understand all team slang, pressing for trauma details, exposing vulnerability in public spaces, making assumptions about their countries or culture, and expecting them to assimilate instantly. Once shut down, it takes a long time to rebuild trust.”
She takes a sip from her Brooklyn Bears mug.
“All that is a universal athlete phenomenon, but it is magnified in foreign players. When they do well, when they win big, when they get headlines, they crash emotionally afterward. Why? Because the praise cannot reach the part of them that is still living in survival mode. You support that comedown with a calm presence. Gentle check-ins. Encouraging sleep. No pressure to perform again immediately.”
It's quiet for a moment as she looks me over.
Before it gets too uncomfortable, she leans forward slightly, voice warm.
“You understand displacement. You understand fear. You understand rebuilding yourself in a new environment. Players will sense that. You have the kind of empathy that does not need explanation.”
I swallow, trying not to cry again.
“You will be the anchor point for many of these men,” she says. “Not because you fix them, but because you understand them without needing their whole story.” She smiles. “And that is rare. Very rare.”
“I hope so.”
She smiles bigger now. “Any questions for me?”
“Why did you leave?” I ask.
“Going back to finish up my MD, closer to my family.” She rolls her eyes. “I’m quickly remembering why I left.”
“Any regrets?” I ask.
“I miss the City, and the team. But I had a goal and needed to do that for myself. You have to remember to put yourself somewhere in the top twenty.”
“You know my backstory, or at least part of it. Any concerns?”
She giggles silently, “Did you really agree to become Bitty Costello and her friends’ therapist?”
I laugh, “I’ve heard I did.”
“Hold firm on the team being first. I’m sure when you were hired, you were told it was very flexible.
” I nod, and she shakes her head. “The things they don’t know because of privacy laws?
You will get phone calls when your players are in crisis.
They told you travel is not required, right?
” She asks, and I nod. “You will emotionally travel every game with them. There may be times when you’ll want to travel to physically.
Last year I traveled to every away game during the holidays, and then while heading into the playoffs.
Our whole team, medical and performance staff, decided it was best for the team. ”
Worry settles in.
“Jo? Who works in the childcare center?” I nod. “She loves to travel. If it’s a weekend, holiday, or even after hours, utilize her. She’s solid. So is her best friend, who used to work with them, but started her own business, Elite Childcare.”
“Do you have children?” I ask.
“I missed my window.” She says solemnly.
I don’t know how to respond, so I don’t. Appreciation shows in her eyes.
“One last thing before you onboard with the medical and performance team?” I nod.
“Off the record?” Again, I nod. “The contracted psychiatrist is a pile of shit. She runs a business that oversees professional teams like the Bears, collects huge annual contracts, and Zooms in on meetings to pretend she’s actually earning the amount of money they pay her.
None of my players, except one,” she shakes her head, “I mean, your players, agree to allow it anymore. She loves to talk down to them and tries to put them on meds they don’t need or don’t work for them, which she’d know if she listened.
Dr. Timmins, the team’s MD, is more than capable of writing a script if needed.
I’m going to finish my degree just to put her out of business. ”
I shake my head. “That should be criminal.”
“I couldn’t agree more. Please keep that to yourself.”