Chapter Seventeen
Denis
Monday morning practice started off with me annoyed as fuck.
Sterling was messing with my head, and I didn’t like it.
My focus had to be on hockey, not some guy.
But Sterling wasn’t just any man, and he’d invaded my dreams, disturbing my normally untroubled sleep, and I came into the arena pissed off.
I stood in front of my locker and merely grunted at the team as they greeted me.
I’d always been able to separate my personal life from my professional career, and hockey had come out on top every single time.
But now with Sterling first on my mind instead of the upcoming game, I was massively irritated with myself.
I was stripping out of my clothes to get changed when I heard a whistle from across the room.
“Damn, bro. You get attacked by a wild animal this weekend or what?” I turned to see Seb’s dancing eyes, and Rip stuck his head into his locker, but it couldn’t drown out his cackling.
Idiots.
“Or what,” I snapped and set out my pads and shields.
“So closemouthed,” Rip said. “But Seb’s right. Those scratches look like it was either hand-to-hand combat or fun as hell.” Having recovered from his hysteria, Rip shut his locker and sat to check the tape on his sticks. “Normally you love talking about your conquests.”
“Why, are you jealous? You can’t already be tired of the gorgeous Adrian.” I knew that would get a reaction from Rip, and I was right.
“Don’t be an ass. I’ll never get tired of him. But how was the rest of the night with Sterling? You two officially dating now?”
“No.” I strapped on my chest protector and slipped the jersey over my head.
“Just fuck-buddies, huh?” Rip side-eyed me with amusement. “So what you’re saying is nothing’s really changed. You’re still embracing the bachelor life. Well…I guess if you’re not involved, I should tell Adrian. He likes Tag. The guy might be good for Sterling. Lighten him up.”
“That golden retriever?” I snorted. “Don’t be ridiculous. Who could put up with his annoying, perpetual smile and corny jokes? And what’s with your husband? Is he a reporter or a matchmaker?”
“I don’t know about that,” Rip mused, ignoring my question. “I could see them together. They’d have that whole grumpy-sunshine thing going on.”
“What the fuck is that—grumpy sunshine?” I stared at him. “Are you on edibles? You must be. Sterling would never be interested in a guy like Tag.”
“Why?” Seb slammed his locker. “He likes playing with your stick too much? You put the biscuit in the basket yet?”
I growled, and next thing I knew I had Seb by the throat and pushed up against the row of lockers. “Don’t talk about him like that. Would you want someone thinking about you and Jolie having sex?” Seb’s eyes flared with anger, but after a moment he dipped his head.
“You’re right. That was both rude and crude.” The entire room had gone silent, and breathing hard, I released him. We locked gazes. He stuck out his hand. “I’m sorry. I apologize.”
We shook, and I glared at everyone else standing around. “Don’t you all have anything better to do? Idiots,” I snapped and stomped away on my skates toward the tunnel. Rip caught up with me before we hit the ice.
“Hey. I’m sorry too. I didn’t realize.”
“Realize what?”
“That you really like the guy. I won’t tease you again.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. And why are you so up in my business? You didn’t care so much when I was with Gordie or Rudy.”
“That’s not true. But we weren’t in a good place when you were with Gordie. And I knew Rudy wasn’t long-term.”
“You did? How?” Surprised, I glossed over my failed engagement, not wanting to bring up the foolishness of my past.
“I’m not sure.” He shrugged, and we set out on the ice. “You’re more intense about Sterling.”
“We’re not together. But you’re right. I am more intense—I’ve never met anyone so damn frustrating and annoying in my life. He makes me want to punch a wall.”
“Must make for some great sex. Just sayin’.” He popped in his mouth guard and took off.
“You have no idea,” I muttered to myself, but Coach called to us and I put Sterling out of my mind.
I wasn’t some teenager mooning about a boy.
The last time I’d done that, it had cost me everything.
I was an adult now, and I had room for only one love in my life. Hockey. Everything else came in second.
Tuesday was an away game, and on the flight to DC, I sat across from Rip. I was still angry with Sterling and didn’t expect to hear from him. I sure as hell wasn’t about to get in touch with him. I didn’t run after men. They came to me.
“Want to hear something funny?” Rip asked.
“Sure.” I was reading an old article on Dahlia Dumont to see if I could glean anything pertaining to their connection.
“Remember how I mentioned yesterday that Sterling and Tag should get together?”
A sour taste rose in my mouth. “Yeah.”
“Adrian jumped on it all on his own and went ahead and arranged a double date. The four of us are going to dinner Thursday night.”
“You’re full of shit.” I laughed, but Rip remained serious, and I set the magazine aside.
“No. Adrian thought he’d have to convince Sterling, but he agreed right away. Maybe he really does like the guy.”
“And you’re telling me this, why?” A red haze filled my vision. It made no sense that Sterling would agree to a date with him yet push me away.
“Because you were so sure Sterling wasn’t into Tag.”
“Thank you for your need to point out all my incorrect assumptions. But I don’t give a fuck who that man dates. And I’d like you to stop bringing up his name. Understood?” I picked up the magazine again.
“Yeah. I understand.” Something that looked like sympathy rested in Rip’s eyes, and it made me furious that I’d allowed myself to lose control.
The short flight landed at noon, and after dumping our stuff at the hotel, we went to lunch, then headed to the Snow Caps arena to practice before the game. I felt good—strong and quick. Ellis skated over to me to change shifts.
“You’re playing better than ever, Denis. I know I failed the team when you were out.” He hung his head in defeat. “My parents came to watch me play, and of course it was a game I lost. They tried to tell me it didn’t mean anything, that everyone loses, but they worked so hard to give me my shot.”
Years ago I would’ve built up my own ego by tearing his down, but I didn’t need to spread negativity.
“Nonsense. Do you think we’ve never lost games before? In my first few years, I was booed on the regular. The key is to never give in to self-doubt. Take the anger you feel at those losses and turn it to the game. You’ve got the talent, Ellis. You’re gonna get your shot.”
“I’m not like Lindy who thinks he’s better than Rip. I want to be the best, and I know I can learn from you.”
“You will be. And your parents are proud, I’m sure.”
“Yeah. I mean, I’m sure yours are too, about your success.”
There was no way I could truthfully answer that, so I just shrugged.
“We’re champions. What more could anyone want?”
We skated to the bench for pregame instructions.
The Snow Caps were division rivals and always played us hard.
This game was no exception, and we ended up with a tie, which always annoyed me, but it wasn’t a loss and kept us in second place.
On the plane ride home, I wanted to block out the conversations around me, but I’d forgotten to charge my headphones, so I was forced to listen to Rip and Seb gossip.
“Adrian and I are going out with Tag and Sterling tomorrow night. Wanna come with us? You and Jolie can get a sitter.”
“Wish I could, but her brother’s introducing us to his new girlfriend. I didn’t know Sterling and Tag were dating.”
The words of the article in front of me blurred as I strained to listen.
“Adrian said Tag asked him if Sterling was seeing anyone. Guess the strong and silent type is having a moment.”
I grinned to myself. Sterling wasn’t so quiet when I was inside him. Then I remembered how he couldn’t wait for me to leave the last time, and my good mood vanished. I closed my eyes to concentrate on listening to Rip and Seb. I had zero fucks to give about eavesdropping.
“Anyway, Adrian said he was surprised Sterling agreed. When Adrian first came to the station, Sterling seemed standoffish, but he’s warming up.”
“Looks like it.” Seb chuckled. “Guess he’s making up for slighting hockey players and sports in general. First Denis, now Tag.”
“Adrian was never pushing Denis and Sterling. He’s still a little upset about some things that happened between Denis and me and has a hard time letting go. He likes Denis, but I don’t think he trusts him.”
I winced but could hardly blame Adrian. That threesome I’d proposed to Rip would forever haunt me.
Rip accepted a glass of water from the flight attendant.
“As much as I care about Denis, I’m not sure he’s capable of being with one man for long.
And Sterling appears to be a pretty quiet, private guy.
Not his usual type. I’m guessing he’s not a partier or someone who’d enjoy being one of many.
Denis might’ve tried, but in the end, he’s just not the type to settle down. ”
I supposed I deserved that. Rip had seen me at my worst, and because I respected Sterling’s wishes to keep our encounters private, there was little reason for him to think I’d changed.
By the time we landed in New York, my mood had turned black.
I picked up my overnight bag and didn’t hang around for anyone else—my car was waiting, and I took off for home.
In the old days, I might’ve hit up a club and partied a little, but it was late, and I was exhausted.
Once in my apartment, I thought sleep would come easily, but instead, the river view called to me.
I sat on my couch and stared at the lights twinkling in the darkness.
My talk with Ellis had unexpectedly reopened the old wounds of my parents’ betrayal. My father’s whole life revolved around hockey—surely he’d known I’d been out for a month. No one from my family had acknowledged my two Stanley Cups, being named MVP of the series, or my three Vezina trophies.
All because twenty years ago, I’d kissed a boy.
My sleep sucked, and I was up early the following morning, drinking cappuccinos and checking my calendar. Practice in the morning, PT in the afternoon. My evening was empty.
Unlike Sterling, who’d decided I was only good as a fuck-buddy and was busy with a new boy toy. Guess the tables had turned, as I wanted to see him, but he’d obviously moved on.
Fuck that.
Practice was intense as the upcoming game would be a matchup of last year’s Cup final. At PT, I pushed myself to where a concerned Hutch took me aside.
“You all right? There’s no need to go to where it gets painful.”
I swept the sweat-soaked hair off my brow. “I’m feeling good—great, in fact. I want to make sure I can go past the point of no return. Every team is after our asses this year. I need to be better than ever.”
“You’re at the top of your game. I don’t think you need to worry. You’re one of the greats, Denis. You’ve won so many awards. Don’t knock yourself out. You’ve got nothing to prove.”
I nodded, but my mind was on what he hadn’t said. I had professional success but nothing else in my life. People like Rip and Seb, they’d managed to have it all. They were the best in the game and had someone to share that with. I came home to a world-class view I stared at alone.
Tonight was Sterling and Tag’s date. I didn’t begrudge Tag his angling for this—if I had a chance to be with Sterling, I’d snap that up in a heartbeat.
But that didn’t mean I was about to lie down and give it up.
I hadn’t gotten where I was in life by waiting for others to tell me what to do. I made my own rules.
That was why, at eleven that night, I was at Sterling’s apartment building, waiting in the lobby. I’d already greased the wheels by bringing signed jerseys and pucks for the concierge and doorman to let me sit.
What the hell was wrong with me?
Sterling was the first man I was with who didn’t care about my fame and actively disliked it. He fought our attraction at every turn and had no issue kicking me out even after sex so intense, I had trouble catching my breath and remembering my own name.
The thought of Sterling bringing another man to his apartment or even kissing him good night was unacceptable to me. This Tag fucker better not make a move, or I’d make sure he was dead to the Blades.
“Denis? What’re you doing here?” Brows knitted, Sterling stood in front of me, and I rose to my feet.
“Where’s Tag?”
“Why? What business is it of yours?”
I covered his mouth with mine, shoving my tongue past those frowning lips until he sagged in my arms and kissed me back.
“Everything about you is my business. Now, am I coming upstairs or not?”