18. Swordplay
Sanne and Paul planned to celebrate their news with family at Windsor on a lovely Friday evening. Sanne was excited to cut the cake and determine if they were having two baby girls, two baby boys, or one of each. She prayed it would be two girls but would settle for one of each. She feared it was two boys.
They had dinner, Elliot’s favourite—a rack of lamb. It was delicious. Well, for everyone but Natalie who noticeably picked at her food. As per usual, Kiersten inhaled her food before anyone finished. Olav said no one put away food quite like his wife. Sanne wished she had Kiersten’s metabolism.
After dinner, they cut the cake. Natalie brandished a sword. As the children were given the green light to stay up, they crowded around her in awe. Natalie knew how to orchestrate magical core memories—another reason she was the World’s Best Auntie.
“So, all you wanted to do was have an excuse for swordplay then?”Patrick joked.
“Fuck yes, I did! I am so happy for Paul and Sanne and wanted to do it up big. So, thank you all for humouring me.”
“Paul would let you write the name of his children in the sky, so this is nothing,”George laughed.
“So, each half is a different colour,”Natalie said.“I handed this off to the pastry chef yesterday. They did their best. Well, I guess it’s different if they are a boy and a girl. The icing colour corresponds to stupid gender binaries. But, what can you do?”
“Natalie, we don’t need a bloody dissertation,” Paul groaned.
“You stop!”Natalie pointed the sword at her younger brother.
“Natalie., stop waving that about. You’re making everyone nervous!” Robbie said.
“I am quite good with it, thank you,”Natalie said.
Sanne laughed. Ed facepalmed. This was typical for them. Natalie rarely took this sort of thing seriously, having fun with it.
“Alright. Do you want to help me cut this side, Keir?” Natalie asked.
Keir hopped up to be helpful. He idolised Natalie and she adored him. As he grew, their relationship blossomed. He wanted to be just like her. Keir climbed onto a chair to be of appropriate height and beamed at her.
“Do we think… boy or girl?”Natalie asked.
“Boy!”Keir’s face lit up.
“Okay, team boy. I predict they both are because mothers never get what they want. And for that, if I am right Sanne, I am sorry.”
“I know you’re team girl at heart, so it’s okay,” Sanne said.
“I am. Alright. Hold onto this handle with me and we will cut the thing.”
They hacked two times before Ed stepped in with a proper knife to pop out the piece of cake, showing blue icing. Sanne groaned audibly while Keir celebrated.
“Sorry, Mummy. But you’ve got a 50% chance the next one works out,” Natalie winced.
“I want to do it! I want to do it!”Charlotte declared.
“Sure, why not? Young man, thank you for your service,”Natalie joked as Keir hopped down.
“I think it’s a girl,”Charlotte stood by Natalie’s side.
Natalie repositioned the sword. “Well, let’s see.”
Charlotte helped this time, more adeptly than little Keir proclaiming, “Ugh… another boy!”
Ed held up the second piece of cake. Sanne felt herself burst into tears, broken in a nonsensical way.
“Baby, it’s okay,” Paul said.
“Fuck you,” Sanne said, annoyed.“It’s not. I will never have a daughter! I wanted one so badly. And you’re just… rubbing it in my face.”
“Sanne, I would never do that. I would have been just as happy with girls,” Paul said. “I know you’re disappointed, but it will be okay.”
“It will,” Rebecca said. “We never got the boy we wanted, either. But we got four beautiful, wonderful young women, and I am sure that your boys will all be very lovely—as lovely as Keir and Nathan are.”
“Mama don’t cry!” Nathan grabbed Sanne’s maternity dress. “You no cry.”
“Hey bud, it’s okay.” Paul fluffed Nathan’s blonde locks. “Promise. Mummy is just a bit overwhelmed.”
“No, I’m a dreadful mother.”
“You’re not!” Natalie comforted her sister-in-law. “God, you’re a wonderful mother. And these things feel huge. It’s the end of a journey and you wanted a daughter so badly to share things with. I’m sorry. If ours is a girl, I promise you that you can spoil her rotten as we do your boys.”
“Yours? What do you mean?” Sanne asked. “Natalie, are you?—”
“By some miracle, yeah.” Natalie’s tears welled. “Sorry, didn’t mean to spoil that. It’s just… I guess I was excited to share that with you. Because… they’ll be so close in age.”
“What the fuck? Ed, you’re having a baby?” Paul asked.
“He is not having anything,” Natalie swiftly corrected her brother. “No. I am having a baby.”
“Oh my God! When?” Kiersten asked. “Really? This is happening?”
“August!”
“How? You don’t even look pregnant.” Kiersten marvelled, wrapping her big sister up in a tight squeeze.“Cecilia! Auntie Natalie is having a baby!”
Tiny Cecilia approached, covered in cake. She gave a little shrug before returning to her seat by Nathan whose lips were dyed blue with icing.
“I am so glad she stays calm,” Natalie wiped tears away.
“Cheers! This is great news,” Paul said.
Relief flooded everyone. George picked Natalie up and spun her in excitement. No one was perhaps more elated than Sanne who watched her sons eat cake knowing that, more than likely, they were moving down the line of succession. Suddenly, everything changed for the better. And then? It all came crashing down again as most things in this family did. There could never be just joy. It was all just a punctuation point in an equilibrium that trended towards mostly meh things.
The children finished their cake and were herded to bed by Kiersten and Olav’s nanny. It was adorable to watch her bark at them in Norwegian. Keir and Nathan became more fluent every time they stayed in Oslo or when Elisabeth visited. They had little Cecilia to talk to as well. When Sanne heard them speaking her mother’s native language in their baby voices, it filled her heart ten times over.
Robbie sat seriously at the head of the table. “Okay, so to wrap things up, I do have news. It pales in comparison to two more grandsons or Natalie and Ed becoming parents. And it’s altogether unpleasant, but now that the children are off, let’s chat.”
Paul looked at Sanne, brow furrowed. George stared at Natalie who, no doubt, knew what this was about. She always knew.
“I don’t know quite how to say this in a way that won’t cause alarm, but I must have open-heart surgery in March. It is preventative for something that is causing problems that’s probably always been there.”
There was a collective gasp, but Robbie continued. Sanne’s eyes remained fixed on Natalie’s impassive face. She continued eating her cake. Sanne was convinced they could have dropped a nuke outside and Natalie would have ignored it except to run out and try to see if she could spot enemy aircraft. She knew what was going on and wasn’t in a panic. That was a good sign.
“While I am on leave, Natalie will be in charge. And while I am incapacitated, Natalie will act as regent. For the next six months, consider Natalie and Ed in charge. Let me be clear. I trust them to make decisions and do what is best. My focus is on getting well if I am to see all of those children grow up. And that is all I want. To live out my days in peace.”
Kiersten, predictably, burst into tears. Exasperated, Olav comforted her. He notably showed little emotion, but Sanne knew it pained him greatly to see his wife cry. In a ranking of things Olav cared about, his wife always came first. Her happiness meant stability for him, his household, and their child. He took his work and fatherhood seriously. Without Kiersten, he’d be lost.
“I do not think you should cry, sweetheart,” Robbie said. “I will be fine.”
“Everyone handles things differently, Dad,” Paul said, protectively.“Are you sure you are alright?”
“Your father is fine. This is an SOP for this sort of valve,” Duncan chimed.
“It will work well,” Vanna echoed.
“I promise not to play tyrant and to wield the sword for good,”Natalie joked, trying to lighten the mood.
“But what about our leave?” Paul asked. “Are you telling me Sanne must drop a baby and start work again? That’s not fair?—”
“Fuck no!” Natalie replied. “And if I am in charge, that will happen over my dead body. No one is suffering and unable to care for their children. Okay? I promise you that our family ties us together and keeps this thing afloat. It’s not in my purview to force you all back to work after a serious life event, nor shall I do anything of the sort. I will take six months’ leave to bond with our child.”
“Six months?” Robbie stared.
“Yes, Daddy, six months is normal,” Kiersten said. “And it’s what Sanne took the last time. I took nearly a year.”
“Norway is different.”
“Thank God for that,” Olav said in Norsk.
Sanne snickered.
“Look, I don’t think six months is doable, Natalie.”
“Robert,” Vanna’s tone was sharp. “You gave me six months with the twins. We always said Sanne could do the same. Natalie is not a special case. She”ll be treated like everyone else. And it’s not up to you at present, is it?”
“We took six months for Victoria,” Duncan pointed out. “How do you know that baby will sleep? Take pity on both of them—especially Ed who gets to shoulder the burden. Best of luck, mate.”
“I relish the opportunity, but it is important she gets time to recover,”Ed said.
He looked about to burst in frustration, but let it go. “Six months it is. Bloody hell, I think knowing you, well, you’ll be bored, Natalie.”
“So what? If I am bored, I can return to service. In the meantime, I will enjoy my child.”
“I agree with her,” Elliot said. “Not that it matters, but I agree with Vanna and Duncan on this.”
“It does,” Vanna said. “Because Robert is wrong.”
Robbie rolled his eyes. Sanne stifled a giggle. God, she loved to watch the two row. Paul and Robbie were both stubborn, but Paul always put the boys first. And now? He always could. He’d never be king!
There was a knock.
“Come in,” Vanna called.
Everyone turned to hear the door open. A footman approached.
“Your Majesties, there is news at the guardhouse. The Countess of Lauderdale has turned up—unannounced—with a baby in a pram. She is asking for the Princess of Wales and wants to ring her at Frogmore, but she’s here. Were you expecting her, Your Royal Highness?”
“Lucy’s at the gate?” Natalie perked. “Really?”
“She is, ma’am. And… she looks very unlike herself.”
“Let her in, of course,” Robbie insisted. “Don’t make her stand out there with a baby!”
“Where is Winston?” Ed asked.
Sanne had a bad feeling about that answer, but only time would tell. It was a long time since Lucy reached out. It made Sanne sad. She wished their children were closer, but the opportunity was never there. Lucy and Winston only came down on important occasions and each time, Lucy looked less and less the confident woman she used to be.