Chapter 8 #2
“That was no one’s fault,” Erin said. “We were annoyed that it looks like Carter’s led you on.
We don’t know that he has – we have no understanding of who Laurie is – although I did like her.
She didn’t introduce herself as his girlfriend and we didn’t see any signs of her being touchy with him, which is what you’d expect if she was with him like that – she’d have been practically spraying him to mark her territory. ”
“Who’s the psychologist now?” I asked, although I agreed with Erin. “But still – it was a jolt going from kissing Carter for the first time since - ” I stopped. They didn’t know that story.
The inside of the car was frozen with silence, especially as the engine was now off. We had arrived at our destination.
Erin turned around and pinned her eyes on me. ‘I’m sorry, I thought I heard you say ‘the first time since’ which suggests there was a previous time.”
“Rose?” Harriet prompted encouragingly.
“We all know you kissed when you were fourteen and he was your knight in shining armour,” Fallon said. “But you didn’t mean that, did you, Rosie?”
Rosie. Carter was the only one who called me Rosie. He was the only one who could get away with it.
I could lie and say that was what I meant, but I hated lying. I sometimes refrained from telling what happened or what I’d done, but that meant I didn’t say anything about it.
“We kissed when I was seventeen.” Factual. Just stating what the events were.
I felt Fallon’s eyes boring into the side of my face. I didn’t turn round to look at her.
“Can I suggest we pause the interrogation here and go and check in. I feel like I need a cocktail as well as a glass of champagne.” Practical. Nice, practical side quests that would cease this line of questioning, for now at least. There was no way I’d get away with not talking about it later.
We had our own rooms for the first time. Usually we’d have booked two twins, but we could afford not to now, and the space was welcomed, for me at least. We agreed on ten minutes to freshen up, unpack anything we needed, and then meet outside Erin’s room, which was the biggest.
The place we’d booked for afternoon tea was about a five minute walk away, which meant clustering under umbrellas because the English weather was doing its thing – slow, large drips of rain fell on us and bounced off the pavements as we walked around to the café bar, a venue decorated to look like it was set in the nineteen forties.
We were seated straight away and presented with menus and a run through of what afternoon tea looked like. Champagne had been poured before Fallon could complain about being thirsty and three pairs of eyes landed on me, two sets of arms folded, and Harriet was giving me a sweet assassin’s smile.
“Seventeen, Carter, kiss. Tell.” That was Fallon. To the point.
“We’d gone to Clapham Common - ”
“I knew this would be Clapham Common. You were so secretive that day about what you’d been up to and you had this really dreamy look for weeks afterwards. You stopped talking about the boy who was doing work experience at your law firm as well.” Erin’s memory was impressive.
“Let her tell us what happened.” Fallon would’ve made a good detective. Interrogator.
“It wasn’t much. We were sat down on a blanket and I’d ended up between his legs, resting against his chest and we kind of ended up looking at each other and we kissed. Just once. And we never talked about it afterwards until Erin’s party.” Facts, stripping it back to just the facts.
None of them said anything.
I studied the afternoon tea menu, different selections of sandwiches to pick from, a variety of cakes. It all looked very good and the champagne was lovely.
“Rose, we’re waiting for more details.” It was a gentle prod from Harriet.
“There are no more details.”
“How did you end up sat between his legs. That’s a bit more than friends to start with, isn’t it?” Erin said, looking at the waiter who was hanging around to take our order.
I wonder what stories he heard during the course of a working day.
We ordered, asked for more champagne, then it was back over to me to answer the question.
“We’d done loads of walking and I was tired and leaning against him, so he instigated shifting us so I could lie back.
I think I knew it was a more than friends thing but it was one of those nice days where you can get swept away.
” I loved the memory of it. It had been so innocent and so grown-up at the same time.
Carter had been ridiculously good looking – even my mum had commented on how handsome he’d grown – and I knew I had a crush on him, I think all of us had, maybe.
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Fallon actually sounded hurt.
“Because there was nothing to tell and you’d have persuaded me to do something else, like try and seduce him or equally odd and it would’ve wrecked everything.” And it had been my memory which I hadn’t wanted to share. Mine and Carter’s.
“Rose, we’ve never been able to persuade you to do anything. I wish you’d told us – and he never said anything either. I really thought he’d have told me.” Fallon looked thoughtful.
“He’d have known that whatever he said to you would’ve come back to me,” I said, sipping at my glass of champagne, enjoying the bubbles. “He’s not stupid.”
“Fair,” Fallon acknowledged. “He was also always closer to you than any of us.”
“Because he lived in my house.”
“I used to think he fancied you.” Erin had almost finished her glass. “He’d smile at you every time he saw you. I don’t think he really noticed if the rest of us were there or not.”
“You all got on well with him though, didn’t you?” I’d never known them not get along with Carter.
“He came with rugby playing mates, so I was happy.” Fallon, of course.
“But yes, we all got on. I’m surprised at him not telling you more about Laurie.
Because there’s something more there – especially he’s said that he’s single but not available.
I’d never thought Carter could be cryptic.
Anyway, have I told you about the Hell’s Angel I met on Wednesday? ”
I figured Fallon did it on purpose, redirecting the conversation to give me a break from being grilled, and the others followed her lead.
It was a brief respite, because my mind wasn’t letting me come away from analysing everything, something I was good at, only it wasn’t that easy when you were emotionally invested.