Chapter 26
Carter
“Ijust don’t feel well.”
I sat on the chair in front of Fallon, my doctor’s head well and truly screwed on. “Talk me through your symptoms.”
“I feel sick. I’m lightheaded – when I stood up before I nearly crashed back down again. I think I’ve eaten something that’s disagreed with me. Do you have anything?”
I did. A medical degree and specialism in gastro-intestinal issues, with a minor specialism in cardiology. Enough to know that this wasn’t something she’d eaten.
She was almost grey, her breath short, her pulse erratic.
“Fallon, I think we need to admit you.”
She shook her head, standing up, only half a second later she was coming back down. I caught her, dropping her gently and carefully to the floor, her eyes flickering, moving in and out of consciousness.
My call was probably loud enough for the whole hospital to hear.
At that point, Fallon wasn’t someone I’d known since I was fifteen, she was a patient who needed care.
The fact that she’d been teasing me about Rose now walking with a genu verum gait the night before was irrelevant, that she’d been present at my non-wedding didn’t matter.
I knew her medical history, I knew some of her current predicament, the operation she was putting off.
I checked her pulse. Thready, rapid. This wasn’t good.
Three nurses and another doctor appeared, one grabbing a trolley. “Get her into cardiology, then we need oxygen and an ECG.”
Her eyes flickered back open. “I’ll be okay. You’re being dramatic.” But there was no force behind the words.
“Yeah, Fallon, and you’re never dramatic.
Keep lying down.” We’d lifted her onto a trolley and were already running with it down the corridors towards cardiology, which was fortunately the next department along.
Someone had let them know we were bringing one of our own in and a team were ready to meet us, rushing her into a room.
I bleated out what I knew of her medical history, added that she was meant to schedule surgery for a new valve and watched fairly helplessly, as she was attached to machines that I knew and understood well, the telemetry showing the rhythm of her heart that was irregular.
The cardiologist now stuck with the world’s worst patient was Vaseem Dhand, someone I had known for ages as he used to work alongside my dad. I watched as he studied the results of the ECG, while I sat next to Fallon, holding her hand because I could tell she was petrified.
“Okay, I’ll talk medical to you. We have severe regurgitation leading to atrial dilation and electrical instability which is causing arrhythmia.
This is why you’ve had a brief collapse, Fallon.
I’m going to get you wired up and monitor you, but you need to know that this isn’t watch and wait anymore.
We need to schedule you for surgery.” He looked at me.
“Emergency surgery, which she’s not going to understand. ”
“I don’t have emergencies. I have carefully planned crises.” Her words came between breaths. She’d lost even more colour. “And you’ve seen my boobs. What will Rose say?”
“I know exactly what Rose is going to say when she gets here.” I needed to call her and let her know what was happening before she heard it through the hospital jungle drums.
Fallon nodded, a nurse gave her oxygen.
I stepped outside and called Rose’s ward from the reception phone.
I had no idea whether she was with a client or on the ward, but this was enough to be considered an emergency.
Fallon wasn’t close with her parents; Rose, Harriet and Erin were her family, and she’d need them around and they needed to know.
“Adolescent Mental Health.” It was Juney, one of the nurses who answered.
“It’s Carter. I need Rose – it’s an emergency.”
Rose was outside Fallon’s room within ten minutes, just finishing a session with a patient and legging it through the maze of corridors to cardiology. She looked pale, panicked and the first thing I did was pull her into my arms, but I couldn’t tell her that it would be okay.
Vas came out of the room, the open door meaning we could hear more of what was going on.
“Oxygen stats are dropping!”
“She’s not stabilising.”
Rose stilled. I looked at Vas for answers.
“We’re taking her straight into theatre. We don’t have the luxury of waiting anymore.” His tone had dropped, there was a seriousness there that I recognised.
“What is it?” I asked.
“Pulmonary valve is shot. See you on the other side.” He continued barking orders, the ward performing their well-rehearsed dance for emergency heart surgery.
For a moment, I felt useless. I was used to being the one who operated, the one who called the shots, but this wasn’t my specialist field. I understood hearts and how to fix them – how to almost break them as well – but I was glad I wasn’t Fallon’s surgeon.
“Will she be okay?” I led Rose into a relatives room that was thankfully empty.
“It’ll be touch and go. She should’ve had this surgery months ago.” I couldn’t cover the truth. “But she has the best team and they’re experienced with this.”
A nod, tears. She was breaking my heart.
“I think you need to call Erin and Harriet. Let her parents know too. Do you want me to do that?” The waiting would be the difficult part now, time would slow down, every second taking a minute, every minute feeling like an hour.
“Can you? I have their number here.”
I rang them, giving them as much information as I could on their daughter. They were in Glasgow, so wouldn’t be at the hospital any time soon. I promised to keep them updated and I could tell they were petrified of what the outcome could be.
Rose spoke to Harriet and Erin. Harriet would automatically drop everything and head over to London, although she’d agreed not to drive and that someone would give her a lift. There was no confirmation of who that someone would be and none of us cared right now.
Erin was only a few miles away, and would be there first. Rose put her phone away, falling back into my arms and clinging on.
I nuzzled her hair, catching the scent that was so familiar, shower gel and body cream that my sheets smelled of.
We don’t have the luxury of waiting any more.
Vas’ words ran through my head, along with a stack of what ifs. I knew that Rose was healthy, that she kept on top of her now annual appointments and made choices based on her health, but still.
“I love you.” The words came out without a stutter. “Not the best time to say it, but I do, I love you.”
She pulled her head back so she could see me. “I love you too. No idea why you’ve told me that now, but I’m glad I know.”
“My timing could always be better.”
“Agreed.” I held her until Erin got there, then stayed with them both while Harriet arrived, accompanied by a tall Scotsman who was vaguely familiar and had to get back to Stratford, but asked me to keep him updated and gave me his number.
“I have lots of gossip for Fallon when she’s awake,” Harriet said. “I’ll tell you all at the same time.”
“Never tell a story twice,” Erin said. “But I think I have an idea.”
“I’m lost.” And I wasn’t sure I wanted to be found when they started talking in code like this. “Let me see if I can get an update.”
I did, and it was good news, which meant more cryptic clues were given about Harriet’s chauffeur to pass the time.
That was the thing about time, you never knew how much you had, or whether it was the right time, or if there ever was a good time.
I guessed you just had to work with what you had, and in my case, I now had the woman I’d always loved.