Chapter 9
— chapter nine
Although he liked eating out as much as anyone, Evan had a reason for asking Jeremy to meet him for lunch. Even though his boy had continued to insist that he was fine and that nothing was bothering him, it was obvious that something was.
It had to be something big too. His youngest had never been the type to dwell on little things he couldn’t change. Over the years, he’d learned to let his kids work through their problems on their own. He and Rose had learned the hard way that the more they interfered, the worse things got.
This approach wasn’t working with Jeremy, though. The boy wasn’t sleeping and was starting to walk around with a dazed, haggard look. It was time to get involved.
He knew better than to corner him in the house, however. There were too many distractions. It was also too easy for Jeremy to leave if he got frustrated.
Brenneman’s restaurant had been the obvious choice. It was relatively close, Jeremy liked it, and the service was usually on the slow side. His youngest would be contained.
It had also been a favorite spot of Rose’s.
Evan had tried to take her there at least a couple of times a year.
Thinking back, he’d always taken her there grudgingly.
Not because he didn’t enjoy the food but because Brenneman’s had the distinction of being down the road from Target, which was Rose’s absolute favorite place to shop.
He liked Target as well as anyone, but their visits there made him grit his teeth. He never understood how his wife could spend two hours in a place that should’ve only taken thirty minutes at the most.
She only laughed at his comments, though.
And when he complained too much, Rose encouraged him to get a fancy coffee and have a seat.
One time she even went so far as to buy him a magazine about the national parks.
He’d felt like a child, sitting on a bench, sipping a mocha coffee, and flipping through the glossy pages. To his surprise, he hadn’t hated it.
He’d never told her that, though.
For all those reasons he avoided going to Brenneman’s for over a year after Rose died. But then one day, when he woke up in the morning aching for her smile, he hopped on his bicycle and finally returned to his wife’s favorite breakfast destination.
He’d expected to tear up when he sat down alone in the booth they’d often shared. He hadn’t, though. Instead, Evan allowed himself to remember past visits fondly. In a strange way, it had brought him a lot of healing.
And perhaps his youngest could use a little bit of healing too.
Jeremy had been surprised about Evan’s invitation. Not in a good way either. But to his son’s credit, he hadn’t complained. Instead, he said that he had to stop by Henderson’s to pick up a check but then he’d meet him at the restaurant.
Right before Evan left, Jeremy called from the store. His boss needed him to help move a china cabinet, so he was going to be a few minutes late.
He’d just gotten a glass of water and a cup of coffee when Jeremy entered the restaurant. Evan used that as an excuse to stare at Leanna again. She looked so pretty in her raspberry-colored dress. The color was flattering. She looked young and fresh. Like spring.
Unlike him, Jeremy didn’t seem to be having any trouble chatting with Leanna. He was all smiles. “It was gut to see ya, Miss Mast,” he said after she guided him to the table. “Now that I know you work here, I’ll have to come back soon.”
“I hope you will. But please, call me Leanna, Jeremy. There’s no need for us to be so formal.”
“All right. Danke, Leanna.”
When she walked away, Jeremy grinned. “I saw you stare at her, Daed. I think she noticed it too.”
“Stop. I did no such thing.”
“If you wanted to see Leanna again, all you would’ve had to do was tell me that that was the reason we were going out to eat. Not keep it a secret and then act all surprised and rude to her.”
“I didn’t choose this restaurant because she was here.”
“Okay,” he said in a singsong voice.
“You are being cheeky.”
“Sorry. But still, I think you should try calling on her again.”
“I disagree.” He couldn’t imagine anything worse than being sent on his way again. Feeling like the whole purpose of this meal out had been turned on its side, Evan grabbed his napkin and put it in his lap. “Jeremy, we do not need to talk about Leanna Mast right now.”
Glancing across the room where she was seating another group of people, the boy nodded. “I guess it isn’t the right place to do that.”
“You guessed right. I brought you here because I’m looking forward to having something that neither of us cooked.”
“That will be a nice change.”
“I’m glad we both agree. Now, look at your menu.”
Five minutes later, a server approached and took their orders. Evan was pleased that Jeremy didn’t hesitate to order a full lunch. His meal of broasted chicken, potatoes, and glazed carrots would sustain him for several hours. Evan ordered soup and salad and a large iced tea.
After they ordered and were alone again, it was time to get to the real reason for their outing. “I’m glad we went out for lunch. It’s been too long, don’t you think?”
Jeremy leaned back, looking stressed again. “Jah?” His voice was wary.
“I always liked this place. Your mother did too. Do you like eating here?” Inwardly, he cringed. He sounded like an idiot.
“Yeah, I guess. I mean . . . I haven’t eaten here in a long time, but I remember it’s good.”
“Did you only come here with your mother?”
“I came once with Eddie and his family.”
“I had forgotten that you used to spend the night at his house.” Eddie was one of Jeremy’s childhood friends.
Eddie’s grandparents were Amish, but his parents had elected not to get baptized and live Plain.
They’d opened up a construction company and made quite a name for themselves.
Eddie and Jeremy met one Saturday during a community work project and became fast friends.
“Boy, there’s a name from the past. Have you seen him lately? ”
“Eddie?”
“Jah.”
Jeremy’s mouth tightened. “Yes.”
“Why do you look upset by that?”
Jeremy pursed his lips again, then seemed to come to a decision. “Daed, I have something to tell you.”
The boy’s tone of voice matched his serious expression.
Evan exhaled softly. This lunch idea had worked. At last Jeremy was going to talk about what had been bothering him, and it obviously wasn’t something little. “Okay,” he said slowly. “I’m listening.”
When Jeremy still hesitated, Evan braced himself as his head started spinning all sorts of scenarios.
Then it hit him.
This could be about the biggest decision a teenager had to make during rumspringa. Was it about his baptism? Had Jeremy decided to follow in either Russell’s or Kurt’s footsteps and not remain Amish? Or was he going to follow Trip’s lead instead?
“Daed . . .”
“Yes?”
To Evan’s dismay, Jeremy’s cell phone buzzed.
His boy had done a fairly good job of pretending that his phone wasn’t buzzing constantly in his pocket.
Evan knew that meant that he was getting texts.
Lots of texts. “Someone must really want to talk to you. Do you need to see who it is?” he asked with barely contained patience.
“Nee. I’m sure it is nothing urgent.” Jeremy went on. “See . . . you know what? Never mind.”
He was clamming up again? No. No way. Why, this was worse than getting a tooth pulled. “Jeremy, whatever it is, we’ll handle it. Just say what’s on your mind, son.”
“You sure?”
“I’m positive.”
“All right.” He took a deep breath.
Evan clenched his hands together in his lap as he leaned forward.
Of course, right then the server arrived with their plates as well as a basket of hot rolls and a cup of honey butter. After she arranged it on the table, she filled their glasses. “Anything else?”
“No. Thank you.”
“All right, then. Enjoy,” she said before walking to the next table.
Jeremy cleared his throat. “Daed—”
“Ah, first, let us give our thanks,” he murmured.
After they silently prayed, he picked up his fork and took a bite. Jeremy did too, though it was obvious that he was debating how to begin.
Finally, after he took several bites, Jeremy blurted, “Eddie introduced me to a girl.”
“A girl.” Well, this was not what he’d expected to hear.
“She’s special. Real special. I like her a lot.”
“Ah.” Evan wasn’t sure if he was relieved or not. On one hand, his son’s interest in a special girl was bittersweet. Yet another reminder that his youngest was almost an adult. On the other hand, he was no longer worried about hearing something horrible. “Tell me about her.”
Jeremy shrugged as he took another bite of his meal. “I don’t know where to start.” His son’s cheeks filled with color, though whether it was from embarrassment or high emotion, Evan didn’t know.
Reminding himself that the Lord had already helped him with two of his older boys and their relationships, Evan felt more of the tension ease that had been settling in his neck and shoulders.
Yes, Kurt and Trip had each fallen in love while their mother was still alive, but she wasn’t the only one they had talked to about falling in love.
Remembering the way he and Rose had needed to navigate through the other boys’ awkwardness, Evan decided to start with something simple. “What’s her name?”
“Becca.” Jeremy said her name in a soft tone. Like she was special.
“What’s that short for? Rebecca?”
“Jah. She only goes by Becca, though.”
“Becca’s a pretty name.”
“I think so too.”
“Any reason you’ve been reluctant to tell me about her?”
“She’s English, Daed.”
There it was. Evan tried the worry on for size. No, it wasn’t ideal, but his family had been through much worse. “I thought that might be the case. If you had your eye on an Amish girl, I probably would’ve seen you speak with her at church.”
He smiled slightly. “Jah. I guess so. You aren’t upset with me?”
“Nee.”
“How come?”
Evan took a sip of coffee to hide his smile. Took a second to thank the Lord for giving him three other sons he’d had this conversation with. To remind him that life moved on, no matter how much it veered from a parent’s carefully thought-out plans when they were holding their newborn.
“Jeremy, so far you haven’t told me anything. You’re still in your rumspringa, and all you’ve said is that you’ve met a girl you like. Have you forgotten that Russell already told me that he wanted to be English? Or that your other two brothers have already fallen in love?”
“This seems different, though.”
“Why?”
“Becca . . . well, her family is struggling.”
“How so?”
Jeremy looked down at his half-eaten meal and frowned. “I don’t think Becca always has enough to eat. Sometimes she says her parents have a difficult time with their bills.”
“That is sad, indeed. What can you do to help her?”
“I don’t know. Every so often I’ll bring her a meal, but she gets kind of mad when I do that.” He wrinkled his nose. “She acts like it’s charity.”
“Hmm.”
“Do you think it’s charity if I bring her a sandwich?”
Evan thought about that. “Nee. Not really.”
Jeremy took a sip of water. “What does that mean?”
“Whenever I think of being charitable, I think of giving money or items to strangers because I feel sorry for their circumstances. But whenever I give a friend or a loved one a gift, it’s a way of showing my love.
” Like that box of chocolate that he had given to Leanna.
Realizing he might have gone too far, he added, “Not that you’re in love or anything. ”
Jeremy’s blue eyes clouded. “I might be, Daed.”
“Ah.” He speared a piece of lettuce and took a bite.
Seemingly encouraged by his silence, Jeremy blurted, “Also, Becca knows that I haven’t told you about her. That I haven’t told Trip, Russell, or Kurt either. She’s upset about that. I think she thinks I’m embarrassed about her.”
“I can’t say that I blame her for thinking that, son.”
“Really?”
“If she’s important to you, then you have to act like it, ain’t so? If you feel you might be in love with Becca, then you should be thinking about her feelings.”
“I am.”
“Are you putting her feelings first, Jeremy? Looking after them so you don’t hurt her with careless words?”
Jeremy’s eyebrows rose. “Daed. Really?”
“I’m serious.” A memory flashed in his head.
“It’s hard to admit this, but your mother wasn’t always easy to live with while she was pregnant.
She didn’t feel well and was tired. And, at times, rather short-tempered.
Usually, I ignored her complaints. Not because I didn’t care but because the things she was complaining about didn’t bother her when she wasn’t with child.
But I was only human, and sometimes I wanted to get upset too.
To remind her that I was also tired and worried about the future.
But I knew saying such things was a mistake. I had to put her feelings first.”
“I don’t know if your example helps me much, Daed.”
Evan couldn’t help but laugh. “Okay, how about this, then? Becca doesn’t want to feel like a secret. If she’s already ashamed of her circumstances, she doesn’t want you to be ashamed too.”
“But I’m not.”
“I know, and you know that. But maybe, if she already feels at a disadvantage because she doesn’t have enough food . . . then you not acting proud to have her on your arm could make her upset.”
“No guy my age is going to walk around with their girlfriend holding on to their arm.”
“Whatever. You know what I meant.”
Jeremy smiled. “I know what you meant.”
“So does that mean you’re going to bring her over soon to meet me?”
He nodded. “If you’re sure you don’t mind.”
“I don’t mind. I’ll look forward to it.”
“I think maybe I’ll just see if Russell can come over too.”
Russell, because he was English. “That sounds like a fine idea.”
“Jah.” Jeremy smiled at him. Appreciation shone in his eyes. “Danke, Daed.”
“You are welcome. I’m glad you talked to me about Becca.”
“Me too. And . . . Daed?”
“Yes?”
“Sorry, but I think you need to take some of your own advice about Leanna.”
Everything inside of him wanted to argue. To say that his problems with Leanna were very different.
But he didn’t dare.
Especially because Evan feared Jeremy was right.