Chapter 13
— chapter thirteen
It was amazing what one prettily decorated gift could do. From the time she’d accepted that candle from Evan, Leanna’s life seemed to burst into color.
Maybe it was because Evan was so attentive, or maybe she was finally starting to see the world through a more optimistic lens, but everything in her life just seemed brighter.
Her shifts at Brenneman’s seemed to fly by, and the customers all seemed to be a little nicer.
Just like each day seemed to give her a new reason to smile.
Or perhaps it was Bumble who did.
She couldn’t believe that she was now the owner of a puppy. Just the week before, Evan showed up at her house with Jeremy—and a small, ten-week-old black-and-white pup.
“What is this?” she’d asked Evan, who looked a little bit put upon.
“Jeremy’s girlfriend, Becca, found a puppy one evening when she was walking home from work.” He looked at Jeremy. “And someone didn’t have the heart to go with her to the pound.”
Reaching down, she touched the pup’s nose. It allowed her to before batting at her fingers like a kitten. “He sure is cute. What are you going to do with him, Jeremy?”
“I don’t know. I thought Daed might want a hund, but he’s not so sure.”
“Oh, that’s too bad.” Bending down, she ran a hand down his soft fur. “He’s mighty cute.”
“He sure is,” Jeremy said. “He’s a real gut hund too. I’m gonna feel so bad for him if he has to go to the scary pound.”
By the time Jeremy finished that second sentence, she was on the ground, the puppy was on her lap, and she’d fallen in love. “I’ve always wanted a dog,” she whispered. “I guess I have one now.”
Evan, of course, had felt a little guilty, but even though Leanna knew she’d fallen right into their trap, she found she couldn’t be upset about it. She promptly named the puppy Bumble and took to buying him a bed, toys, and a very fancy crate to rest in when she wasn’t home.
He was nice to come home to, for sure and for certain.
“Leanna, I enjoyed sitting with you tonight,” Anne said, interrupting her thoughts.
Realizing that she’d let her mind drift during the last twenty minutes of the latest widows club meeting, Leanna felt her cheeks turn pink. “I enjoyed it too. Whoever thought of mixing up our names and assigning seats was so smart. I met lots of new people tonight.”
“I feel the same way. It’s easy to get in a ‘friend rut,’ ain’t so?”
“Indeed.”
“Well, I guess I better head on home. My two daughters are going to be looking for me soon.”
“I’m anxious to get home too. See you next time.”
Anne reached for her hand and squeezed. “I’ll look forward to it,” she said as she hurried out the door.
Watching her leave, Leanna’s heart felt full.
These women had been teaching her to embrace sweet things in life, one small event at a time.
She was getting better at this too. From helping Louise plan a meal to chatting about pets to exchanging titles of favorite books, she was learning to consider even small conversations blessings.
She was slowly becoming embedded in the club, and it was easy to see why so many women were grateful to be members.
She was grateful for them too. However, it wasn’t all she was grateful about.
Right now, her latest visit with Evan and Jeremy was at the top of her list. On Saturday, when they’d come over to help her prep her garden, they got so muddy she practically had to shower them with her garden hose.
She’d laughed and laughed. Even when Bumble ran circles around Jeremy and started barking at him like he was a stranger.
That, for her, had been a wonderful event. She’d felt free and joyous and exhilarated.
Pulling a light shawl over her shoulders, Leanna wished she felt comfortable sharing that story with the ladies in the group.
Her feelings for Evan were still so new, though.
Talking about him made her flustered. She didn’t know if that was because she’d never had a friend who happened to be a man .
. . or because she occasionally allowed herself to believe that there could be something more than that.
In addition, she wasn’t exactly sure how all the other women would feel about her seeing so much of Evan Keim.
She’d never heard any of the members talk about having gentlemen callers.
Was that because they didn’t have any? Or could it be that Leanna simply wasn’t close enough to hear about such things?
As much as she’d love to ask the others for relationship advice, she wasn’t sure it would be received as easily as Louise’s menu dilemma had been.
She decided to keep everything to do with Evan Keim to herself.
Shaking off the sudden melancholy, she picked up her purse and headed toward the door.
“See you next meeting, Leanna,” a young gal named Ruth said as she walked out the door.
“Jah. See you then,” she called out as she headed down the sidewalk. If she walked fast, she could be home within thirty minutes. Then she could take Bumble out for an evening walk before bedtime.
“Leanna, hold up!” another voice called out.
Startled by the summons, Leanna turned around. “Charlotte, what’s going on?”
“Nothing. I just noticed that you were walking in the same direction that I am. I thought we could walk together.”
“Oh. All right.”
Looking pleased, Charlotte said, “You know, I am so glad you joined the group. You’ve been a nice addition.”
“How long have you been a member?”
“Boy, I’d say about six years now. It’s gone by fast.”
“Time does seem to go by quicker as one grows older.”
“Indeed.” Charlotte chuckled. “Before I joined, I fear I spent far too many hours home alone. Every day seemed to meld into the next. I imagine you might have felt the same way.”
“I am glad I joined the club, but I must admit that I’ve been keeping busy otherwise with my work at Brenneman’s, and I just got a new puppy named Bumble.” She couldn’t help but smile. “He’s very cute.”
“I can’t believe you got a dog.”
“I didn’t mean to. It just kind of happened. But I’m thankful for him just the same. He’s so sweet too. I need to get home and let him out of his crate.”
“I understand. Well, I’ll see you soon. Oh! Any chance you’re going to Phyllis’s house next Saturday to make fried pies?”
“Nee. I can’t. I already have plans.”
“Oh no. Are you working?”
“Nee. I am going to Evan’s house to meet his family.” Maybe she shouldn’t have shared so much, but it was the truth.
Charlotte looked at her curiously. “Who’s Evan?”
“He is a friend.”
“Are you dating him?”
“No. We’re just friends.” Or . . . maybe a little bit more than that.
“I see.”
Charlotte sounded dismayed, but Leanna decided not to worry about it. “I hope you have a good time at Phyllis’s haus.”
“Danke.” Pointing to the right, she said, “I’m headed this way. See you next time.”
“Yes. See you then.”
Charlotte headed down a narrow gravel road while Leanna walked on.
Leanna forced herself to think seriously about her future. Evan had stirred up feelings in her she had long forgotten. Even though he was true to his word, it was hard not to think about him as more than a friend.
She didn’t understand it. She didn’t want to ever marry again. Did she? All the women she’d met in the widows club seemed content to be living on their own for the rest of their lives. Shouldn’t she want the same thing?
Just the thought of pushing Evan away again made her feel sick inside. But was he worth losing this new group of women in her life?
She honestly didn’t know.
All she was sure about was that she was grateful to Doreen and the rest of the members of the widows club. Throughout much of her marriage, she’d felt so alone. And yes, isolated.
She and Willis had drifted apart when it became obvious that a baby wasn’t in their future. When those dreams vanished, their disappointment evaporated the fragile bond they’d attempted to build.
She hadn’t known what to do. She’d also been embarrassed.
When Willis had first come calling, her parents pointed out their age difference and the fact that she hadn’t known Willis all that long.
They encouraged her to have a long engagement.
But Willis had acted so impatient to be her husband .
. . she hadn’t listened to anyone’s sound advice.
Instead, all she could focus on was her imagined future with Willis.
He would be attentive and protective of her.
She would be a married woman taking care of her own house.
She’d have lots of kinner and be a doting mother.
She and Willis would feel grateful for their many blessings.
Perhaps a bit of pride too. Her life would be full.
As months and then years went by and it became apparent that babies were not in their future, the loss turned to resentment and finally anger and bitterness. The only dream of hers that had come true was that she was responsible for taking care of the house.
She’d felt some of that same cloying emptiness after Willis died. She’d spent the last twenty years feeling empty and had no idea how to make any changes.
The Amish Widows Club had changed her life.
The women were kind and accepting. Not only of her, but they seemed to accept each woman’s lifestyle and choices.
Instead of acting judgmental, they looked for ways to acknowledge each other.
To her pleasure, Leanna realized that she could treat other women the same way too.
Once she’d gotten over her shock about some of the women’s choices, Leanna celebrated the other ladies’ accomplishments, no matter how small. Just like they’d smiled and hugged her when Leanna mentioned that she was sleeping through the night again.
Though it was a cohesive group, there weren’t any firm restrictions. If a woman wasn’t able to make a scheduled meeting, no one made her feel worse for that choice.
Maybe what she needed to do was talk to Doreen. If Doreen told Leanna that she was going to have to leave the group because she was starting to have romantic feelings for another man, then so be it.
But what if she left the club and Evan eventually changed his mind about her?
Then she’d have nothing. Once again.
As each thought tumbled into the next, rolling around and becoming darker and darker, Leanna knew that she had no choice. She needed to speak to Doreen. And Evan.
She needed to speak to Evan first. That was the right thing to do. She would speak to him after she had supper with him and his sons.