Chapter 12 #2
He led her over to the bench and waited until she was seated before claiming the seat next to her. “My partner and I were assigned to root out the leader of The Cursed Lot gang in Gravesend, but my partner was deceived and was murdered.”
“How awful,” Emma gasped.
He gave her a weak smile. “That isn’t even the worst part.”
Clasping her hands in her lap, she replied, “Please continue, then.”
“After my partner’s death, I was assigned to work with Dr. Maddix, but I found him to be intolerable.”
“Emmett?” she asked. “He is quite possibly one of the nicest people I know.”
He sighed. “Eventually, he grew on me as well, especially since he wasn’t completely incompetent at his job.”
“As a doctor? Or was he an agent of the Crown as well?”
He ran his hand through his hair. “What has your family told you about agents?”
“I know that Adrien, Benedict, Jonathon, and Lord Charles Beckett are agents,” she said, lowering her voice. “I haven’t figured out what Eliza, Cosette, and Josette are exactly, but it’s fairly obvious they’re more than they let on.”
Deciding to change the subject, because frankly he didn’t know either, he continued with the story.
“Emmett became my partner, and together we brought down The Cursed Lot and their entire smuggling operation.” After a moment, he reluctantly added, “Adrien, Benedict, and Jonathon may have played a role in the case, but their contribution was limited.”
Simeon decided not to reveal that Eliza and Josette also contributed to bringing down the leader of The Cursed Lot and saving Martha from the clutches of her evil father.
He angled himself towards her. “Martha was working as a nurse in the hospital at Gravesend with Emmett,” he hesitated, his voice becoming strained, “and that’s when I saw her again. For the first time in five years.”
“What did Martha say?”
He huffed. “She pointed a gun at me and threatened to kill me.”
“Why?”
Frowning, he said, “I can’t share that without betraying Martha’s trust. Her past is her story to share, not mine.”
Emma nodded thoughtfully. “I understand.”
“I tried to convince her to love me, but it was too late. She’d already fallen in love with Emmett.”
“I am sor…” She hesitated, then softly said, “I’m at a loss for words. I fear my words are inadequate.”
He placed his hand over hers. “It’s all right. You don’t have to say anything.” He gave her a tentative smile. “This is the first time I’ve shared this story with anyone. I never thought I’d be able to without my emotions taking over.”
“I’m so glad you did,” she murmured, her eyes full of compassion.
He turned his gaze away from hers. “Two weeks after we caught the leader of The Cursed Lot, I got a missive from the palace. It informed me that Prince George wanted to meet with me.”
“What an honor.”
“It was,” he agreed, “but I didn’t care about the title.
The only thing I wanted was Martha’s love, and I had lost it.
” He sighed deeply. “After that, I spiraled out of control. I stopped reading the letters from my parents, I avoided my friends, and I allowed others to run my company. I felt empty inside.”
“Do you still feel that way?”
Furrowing his brows, he thought for a moment, then answered, “Not anymore.”
“That’s good,” she said, smiling.
He brought his gaze back to hers. “We aren’t so different, you and I. After all, I don’t belong in this world, either.”
“But you’re titled and…”
He interrupted her. “Just because someone has a title, doesn’t mean they belong in this world. I own a trading company and work as a Bow Street Runner. I daresay my actions are more scandalous than falling off a horse into a mud puddle.”
“Did you forget that you landed on top of me near Gunther’s?” she asked with an uplifted brow.
He cleared his suddenly hoarse throat. “How can I forget that?”
“Does your family know that you found Martha?”
He shook his head. “No. I have yet to tell them.”
“And the title?”
“I assume they’ve discovered I was given a title.”
“We could write them together, if you wish,” she suggested.
Bringing his elbows to his knees, he leaned over and said, “I shall do it on my own. Besides, I’m not sure I’m ready yet.”
“I’d give anything for my family to still be alive,” Emma remarked wistfully.
“Now it’s my turn to be sorry.”
Turning her gaze back towards Caddington Manor, she grew silent for a moment. “I am truly happy living with Luke and Rachel, but sometimes my grief overtakes me. I miss my brother and my father dearly.”
“Not your mother?”
“Her, too, but she died a little over seven years ago,” she admitted. “Her death isn’t as recent.”
Simeon leaned back and put his arm on the bench. “Tell me about your brother.”
A genuine smile came to her lips. “David was vexing, infuriating, overprotective, and the best brother anyone could ask for. Don’t get me wrong, he teased me unmercifully when I was younger, but I always knew that he loved me.”
“And your father?”
Her face softened at the mention of her father. “He was a good man. He tried to care for me the best he could, but it took an enormous amount of time to be a constable and keep a shop going. He decided to send me off to boarding school for my education.”
Simeon was still attempting to understand how a constable could afford the price of the boarding school. “Did your father come from privilege?”
She shook her head. “Heavens, no. He worked hard from a young age until he earned enough money to buy a dilapidated building on the outskirts of Totternhoe, eventually turning it into a general store.”
“Did your mother come from privilege?”
“I don’t know much about my mother’s side, other than her parents died from diphtheria,” she admitted. “My parents always had funds to cover expenses, but I do recall my mother would often take in sewing jobs when I was younger.”
“Did you have no other relations to care for you?”
She bit her lower lip, drawing his attention to their fullness. “I was very much alone in this world before Luke and Rachel rescued me,” she said. “And what of your extended family?”
“What of it?” he said defensively.
Emma let out a huff of amusement. “You entertain me, Simeon.”
“I do?”
Leaning back against the bench, her shoulder was mere inches from his arm. “You have a kind heart, yet you hide it behind a mask of anger and hostility.”
“I fear you’re mistaken. I’m not hiding behind anything.”
Emma studied him for a long moment, and he felt like squirming under her scrutiny.
Finally, she spoke. “Your heart was horribly broken, and I believe you feel that it’s become impenetrable and irredeemable.
” She brought her hand up and cupped his cheek, her eyes imploring.
“To love is to be vulnerable. You’ll never find love again if you keep your heart locked away. ”
“What you speak of is impossible,” he murmured. “How does one move on from someone they loved so fiercely?”
Her eyes crinkled as she smiled. “You can’t forget your past, or you forget the good times, as well. You must find the courage to let go of what you cannot change. It’s the only way to move forward.”
“I’m not ready to open my heart again, nor do I have a desire to ever marry,” he admitted painfully.
Emma lowered her hand and leaned back. “Love isn’t practical, and it’s not meant to be easy. One day, your heart will be ready to love again, and it may come at the most inopportune moment. But you must be prepared.”
“You should write for the society page.” He chuckled. “How are you so wise in love?”
A playful glint came to her eyes. “I’m not, but I’ve read many books on the subject.”
“Books?”
“Yes, and I believe in the immeasurable power of true love.”
He huffed. “You mean fairy tales.”
“No, I believe two people can fall so desperately in love with each other that they can create their own happily ever after.”
Shifting away from her, he teased, “To think, I once considered you sane.”
“Being sane is overrated, milord.”
Laughing, he turned his head back towards the estate and saw the sun was starting to dip below the horizon. “I’ve enjoyed our time together, but I’m afraid I have some business I must attend to.”
He rose and extended his hand towards her. “I shall call on you tomorrow to ensure you don’t plan to sneak out of Caddington Manor.”
“Perhaps I’ll sneak out before you even arrive,” she answered, accepting his assistance.
He gave her a lopsided grin. “You are a minx.”
As he walked her back to the estate, Simeon realized that he’d been deceiving himself.
Emma was most assuredly his friend, but she could be nothing more to him.
His heart was impenetrable, and he could never risk the heartache associated with loving another.
No matter how tempting the thought of it was.