Chapter 31 #2
“I want to tell you to your face that you’re done. You messed with my child. That’s unforgivable. Dylan can’t help you, your brother can’t help you, no one can.”
Her smile is mocking. “Aw, poor little holier-than-thou Mommy Marissa is angry with me. Enough with the act already. So what, you popped a kid out. Oh, wait, that’s the most interesting thing about you. Can’t you see it isn’t working, trying to lure Dylan back to you through the brat?”
The face I make is one of pity, but then I yank, and she hisses. She then tries to ring for the nurse, but I knock the button out of her hand.
“You can’t seriously think I’d ever want Dylan back,” I tell her once I’m done laughing. “Dylan is a boy. A lying little boy who’s afraid to have the difficult conversations. I should be thanking you for taking him off my hands, really.”
Her pursed lips twist, and then something evil flashes in her eyes. “I see how it is. You found yourself a new meal ticket with the Chasers. Don’t you think he’ll see through you soon, too? See that you’re pathetic and have absolutely nothing to offer a man, and then move on to better things?”
That bullet hits its mark, so I put my entire weight on her clavicle, and she screams.
“Worry about yourself, bitch. Think about what detoxing in jail is gonna feel like.” The terror in her face relieves some of the sting her words caused me. “You’ll regret putting my son in that car, mark my words.”
With that, I leave her room and go back to my baby.
“I honestly thought she was just cheating on you with Claw,” I hear Hawk telling Dylan when I enter. “If I had known that he was her dealer, I never would have allowed DJ in your home.”
They both look up at me, and I give Hawk a little smile. He’s the one holding DJ while Dylan sits on the bed with his forearms on his thighs.
“Me neither, man, you have to believe that,” Dylan says vehemently.
“I actually do,” Hawk replies. “Make sure to check your bank accounts and any safes you have. If she had the balls to steal from the Preacher, no offense, but she sure as hell stole from you.”
Dylan blanches, as if remembering something. “Shit. I have to go talk to her,” he exclaims on his way out.
“And where were you?” Hawk asks me knowingly.
I shake my head. “Can we go now?”
“I’ll ask the doctor.”
When Hawk returns a few minutes later, he’s carrying balloons and flowers, and he’s followed by what feels like a sea of denim vests. Of course, I start crying again.
We all cram into the tiny room, and, after we update them, Squid and Bev exchange a particularly dark look.
“Marissa,” Bev speaks first. “What do you want done about this?”
I look at my son’s hand in mine. How easily these tiny bones could have been crushed.
I look back up at Bev. “I want the Preacher’s phone number.”
*
“I called Yoda while you were finishing up with the Doctor,” Hawk tells me as we enter Phoenix.
“She penciled you in for an appointment next Monday. We also arranged for a nurse friend of hers to spend the night at our place, to monitor DJ, just in case. Her name is Mariah something, Yoda will text Teach the details, and he’ll run the background check. ”
“That’s great, thank you,” I say, once more stunned by his foresight.
After DJ is down for his nap, I drag my body to the couch and plop down. I feel like all my ships have sunk. Everything is awful, and I’m the worst person in the world.
“Marissa,” Hawk says gently as he sits down next to me.
He moves my hair out of my swollen eyes, and I bury my face in my hands. “Sweetheart, what is it?”
“You probably hate me now,” I manage to say.
“Why?”
A heavy, warm hand is rubbing my back, and I don’t deserve it.
“Because I’m evil.”
“For wanting revenge on the person who harmed your son?” Hawk sounds incredulous.
I nod.
“Your son was in a car accident. It’s been a rough day. The person we’re talking about potentially exposed your son to drugs and recklessly endangered his life in that car. Who wouldn’t want revenge?”
That reminds me that we’re still waiting for the tox screen results from DJ’s blood, and a fresh wave of dread hits me. This should be too much for a human body to take.
I fear I’m going to actually, physically fall apart.
“I… I…” I take several deep breaths.
Hawk's palm never leaves my back.
“Sweetheart, you’re not evil. You’re pure goodness.”
I make a sound of protest, but he chuckles at it. “Believe me. I know what humans are capable of. You’re thoughtful and kind and selfless, and when I see you after a long day, warmth spreads all over my chest, and I know I’ve finally found my piece of paradise in this life.”
He takes my hands off my face, and I summon the courage to look at him. There’s no judgment in his gaze, no disgust. Only warm, open love and tenderness. The aftereffect of the sobs shakes my chest once more.
“Don’t you remember why I was kidnapped? We blew up that meth lab. Bad people deserve bad things, and while I don’t think it’s always our job to deliver them, sometimes it can be. So now, you’ll go upstairs and try to rest a bit with DJ, while I get us some food, okay?”
“Okay,” I say uncertainly.
I can’t sleep, so I try to wash the hospital smell off with scalding water, then resume working on my embroidery to take my mind off things.
Half an hour later, there’s a knock on the bedroom door.
“Come in,” I say, and put the hoop back into the drawer.
“Hey,” Hawk says quietly from the doorway, glancing into the crib to make sure that he hasn’t woken DJ up. “The nurse is here.”
*
“The twins delivered the package. It’s over,” Hawk tells me as he hangs up the phone.
Neither of us slept a wink; between waking DJ up hourly with Mariah, fielding dozens of tearful, hysterical phone calls from Dylan, and worrying about the police or the Wolves knocking on our door, it was one of the more stressful nights of my life.
The memory of yesterday morning feels like it happened in another life.
I hug Hawk, and he hugs me back.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
“Any time,” he says into my hair. “I love you. I would do anything for you.”
It’s 4:40 AM, and it’s starting to dawn outside.
“I love you, too, Hawk.”