Chapter 14 #2
Getting involved with this man was like sending an embossed invitation to the Petruzzi family to find me, and end me. Which, incidentally, put Ethan in danger too. Just being near me could hurt people. The kindest thing I could do for any guy that I really liked was to disappear.
And oh God, how fucking depressing that was. It had always been a fact of life, but it had never stung me like it did tonight.
His eyes narrowed as he studied me. “What?” he demanded.
“Meaning?”
“Your face,” he said. “You were looking happy and relaxed. Suddenly, you weren’t. It was like a light switching off. Was it something that I said, or did? What happened?”
Shit. The guy was as sharp as a tack. Which sucked for me right now.
“Nothing,” I said. “It’s just late, and it’s been a hell of a day.”
“Yeah. Which was ending well. Orgasms and pancakes. What was it? Was it because I answered that fucking phone when my assistant called? I’m sorry, but I saw ten missed calls from her. I had to throw her a bone, or she would’ve had a meltdown.”
“No, no, no,” I said. “That didn’t bother me. It’s fine.”
“Bullshit.” His voice was hard. “We fought back-to-back together, and we just had the best sex of our lives. You can’t lie to me now.”
“I’m not lying,” I said, through my teeth. “It’s just my own private stuff, Masters, and I do not have to share it with you if I don’t feel like it. Understand?”
He just sat there and waited, the bastard. The clock in the kitchen was loud, and the tick-tick-tick banged on my eardrums, driving me nuts. “Goddamn it, Masters!”
“Call me Ethan,” he said stubbornly.
I let out a sigh, and gave in. The guy was chipping away at me like nobody’s business.
“Okay, fine,” I snarled. “I realized, while shamelessly eavesdropping on your phone conversation, that you lead an extremely public and outward-facing life. And for various private but extremely compelling reasons, I do not. I stay off the radar. It’s necessary for my health and safety.
And this makes me sad, okay? Are you happy now that you know the terrible truth?
I had an incredible time with you, and it’s very hard not to glom onto that and want more. But there it is. We cannot hang out.”
“You’re in hiding?” he asked.
I rolled my eyes. “For a guy as bright as they say you are, you sure do make me repeat myself a lot.”
“Tell me what your problem is,” he said. “And I’ll fix it.”
Oh crap. Now I was in for the fight of my life.
“You can’t,” I said flatly. “It’s not safe.
And clearly, you have enough problems without piling mine on top of them.
I certainly have enough without yours. The whole would end up being more than the sum of the parts, and we’d both end up dead. So, no. Forget it.”
“At least tell me. I won’t make your problems worse just by knowing what they are,” he urged.
“Oh, hell, no,” I said. “I know you, buddy. You’d get all overbearing and start thinking Master Knows Best for the little lady. Be real with me. You know you would.”
“Goddam it, Kat.” He slapped the countertop. “Let me help! This thing, with you…it’s special. It’s not the kind of thing you find every day. It’s the kind of thing almost nobody finds, ever. And I fucking want it!”
“Well. That is gratifying. I want it too. But my secret problems suck, Ethan. If you knew them, then suddenly you’d feel like it was your job to solve them, but they are life-ruining problems. And you know what?
I like your life. I want it to continue, unchecked.
I like the whole package. The great, brilliant, tough, benevolent Ethan Masters.
Yum, love that guy. May he live forever.
The world is more interesting with you in it, Ethan. Give my problems a pass. Really.”
“I want your life to continue, too,” he said forcefully. “I want to be part of it!”
I shook my head. This was awful. “I’m sorry,” I said, my voice strangled. “I swear, though, and I mean this from the heart, even though it’s a dumb cliché. But it’s not you, it’s me. You’re awesome. Aside from the bossiness and the forced abduction thing, of course, but nobody’s perfect.”
“Kat, listen.” He shoved his empty plate to the side. “I’m sure your problems suck, but you know a thing I have a lot of? Solutions.”
“Ethan, I can’t let you—”
“If your problems can be solved with money, I have a fuckton of it, more than I will ever need.”
“It is not that,” I said. “Please, don’t push me.”
But of course, he kept pushing me. “If your problems are with the law, I have great connections. I’m owed a ton of favors. Is your problem with the criminal underworld? Guess what…I have connections there, too, what with my checkered past, and all.”
“Ethan—”
“Are your problems something that can be solved with brute physical force? Commando soldiers, explosives, firepower? Guess what…I’m your guy. I have those things, too. As long as I’m not hurting any innocents.”
“I would never,” I said haughtily. “As if.”
“Of course not, but I had to say it. The bottom line here is that I have whatever resources you might need to solve your problem. For fuck’s sake, Kat. Use me.”
I crossed my arms over my chest, shivering. “In exchange for what, Masters?”
His mouth tightened. “That’s not fair.”
“Nope, it sure isn’t, but too bad,” I said. “I have no way to pay you back for a favor that big. Beyond the crass, obvious ones.”
“That is not an issue for us. We’re past that.”
“Yeah? Seriously? You’ve known me for what, twelve hours?
And now you’re laying your fortunes and armies at my feet?
Come on. You’re busy, you’re stressed, you’re overextended with your own problems, and our thing is just too new for this.
You’re not thinking straight, so I have to think straight for you.
Let it go, Ethan. We are not having this conversation right now. ”
“I can’t,” he said.
“Well, that’s not up to you,” I said. “However…”
“However, what?” His eyes brightened.
“The night’s still young,” I said. “And we are all fueled up with your incredible pancakes. Do you want to spend this precious night arguing with me, and trying to manipulate and control me? Or would you rather spend it blowing my mind with your magic dick?”
I strolled around the bar, and laid my hands on his shoulders, then slid them down his chest. Then still lower, down that tangle of chest hair that narrowed to a treasure trail over his gorgeous, taut abs.
His cock tented his sweatpants out, fully erect, hot and eager.
I pulled it loose, caressing the big, blunt, heart-shaped head, sliding my fingers around, making them slick with pre-come.
Swirling my fingers in tender little teasing circles on his velvety cockhead.
“Well, damn,” he said, unevenly. “When you put it that way…”
His arms went around me, our lips touched, and something inside me just threw up its hands. It was stupid, ill-considered, risky, self-indulgent. And more fabulous sex was not going to make this man’s protective instincts any easier to manage, that was for damn sure.
But I wanted this. I wanted more. As much as I could get.
And I was by God taking it.