48
Blonde hair flashes in front of me in the candlelight. My heart sinks as I see the soldier holding a girl, with his metal hand across her mouth and her back to his chest.
I recognise the man almost immediately and realise he’s been chosen for this task for a reason. Not just for the relentless way he holds the girl in his arms. Not just because he won’t dare let go as the girl thrashes in his hold. But because of me, because I gave him that metal arm.
He’s been chosen because of his thirst for revenge.
The soldier looks me over, the menacing smile on his face promising payback in a way I don’t know yet.
“What the fuck is going on?” I demand, staring between the soldier and his King.
Hidale turns and gives me that smile that drips with venom. I’m getting sick of not being able to wipe it off his face.
“Look into her eyes Maeve.” Hidale taunts, shoving his lamp in the girl's face.
I turn my gaze back to the girl and stare into her green eyes. They’re wild and terrified and yet there’s something familiar there.
Almost as if they reflect my own.
I stumble back, gathering my thoughts. Not wanting to look away from her eyes.
But not being able to behold the truth that’s in them either.
“Abigail?” I whisper, the question too quiet and too gentle for what the answer to this question would do.
What it would mean.
She blinks once in response and I don’t know if that means yes or no. But I’m becoming almost certain that this is her.
Why else would they bring this girl in?
Why else would she share my eyes?
My heart is pounding in my chest so hard it feels like it could break through and shatter my ribcage at any moment.
I can’t tell if she knows who I am. She can’t possibly remember me from five years old but was she told of me? Did she maybe have some sort of recognition for my eyes as I did hers?
They’re practically identical, though she probably can’t see in this light. But maybe she wouldn’t make the connection anyway, not if she had no idea.
Seeing this girl that could be my sister, is one thing but seeing her roughly held by this soldier, who I know wants nothing more than to cause me pain?
I stifle a shudder that threatens to run through me, it’s more than my heart can bear.
“Unhand her at once!” I shout at the soldier, who looks towards his King for confirmation.
Hidale gives a subtle nod and the soldier removes his metal hand from her mouth and his other from her body.
But he only moves them to hold her hands that are tied at her back.
I don’t wait to think about why they listened to me. I know they have the upper hand right now.
“Abigail.” I breathe, “is it you?”
My hands start violently shaking, waiting for her response, a big part of me hoping that it isn’t her. As much as I have dreamed of seeing her again, I can’t fathom her being at the Agency. The things that they would do to her, the things they might have already done.
The girl nods as her eyes dart around, absolutely terrified.
I let out a small noise of despair before doing my best and failing to shove it back down.
Gods, she really is here, after all these years.
Abigail, my sister, is all grown up.
She’s tall, her blonde hair grown long, her face older.
Gone is the five year old I once carried to the stables.
In her place, a woman.
One that probably has no idea who I am.
My heart sinks in my chest, even further than I thought possible, before hitting something sharp that catches when I breathe.
“It’s me, Maeve.” I whisper while touching my shaking hands to my chest. Partially to hold that sharp pain back.
“Do you— do you know who I am?”
My voice breaks at the end, at my last word. I don’t know if she’ll remember me but I’m prepared to have my heart broken, I just need to know the answer.
She shakes her head and I feel the tears start to form.
I can’t let them, I can’t give in because that’ll confirm to Hidale that they have found what hurts me.
But they already know.
That’s why she’s here.
I want to get Abigail out of here, take her far away and make sure she can never be found again.
I have to find a way.
“I’m your… sister.” I choke out, trying my hardest to keep it together.
I will not break.
“You were five when I had to leave you… I haven’t been able to see you since.”
I don’t expect her to care at all, for all she knows I could be lying. I have no idea how she grew up and what she had to endure. If she had to constantly be in fight mode, she has every reason to hold her guard up and not believe me.
Abigail doesn’t say anything but her bottom lip trembles. Gods, I want to pull her in for a hug, ask about her life, tell her how much I missed her, tell her that I’ll make sure she’s safe.
But I can’t.
The truth cuts me deeper than any blade has before.
She doesn’t remember me.
I have to get her out of here, she doesn’t belong here, this is everything I fought to prevent.
“Why do you have her?” I demand Hidale, sadness turning to anger almost instantly.
“Leverage.”
I’m going to murder him.
For the fact that he brought her here, for the threat to her life, for breaking my heart all over again.
He’s dead.
“The Agency won’t let you kill the only thing that keeps me coming back!” I yell at him, my face turning rigid, my chains clanging as I shake.
Hidale smiles and looks towards the corner of the room. I follow his eyes and peak into that dark corner that I cannot see.
I sense movement and bring my hands up, ready to defend myself.
But there is truly no way to prepare myself for who lurks there.
Not when it’s Erix who comes out of the shadows.
My body almost gives out at the sight of the face I have spent years trying to forget since being conscripted. Shivers run down my spine and I hope to the gods he can’t tell.
“Is that right?” He purrs as he moves closer to me.
I push back the shock that’s radiating through my body from seeing him again. Push back the aches that flow through me from the memory of his hands. I push all of this away and narrow my eyes at him. I can’t give him the satisfaction of knowing how my body responds to his presence.
It’s been two years since I’ve seen Erix and he hasn’t changed at all.
His black hair is still long and shaggy, he’s dressed in the same black pants and buttoned shirt he would always wear.
His dark eyes contrasting his pale skin, the eyes that sometimes still haunt my dreams.
The many silver rings over his fingers that glisten in the candlelight.
I can almost see my blood stained over them.
With Hidale taunting me and the hurt from seeing Abigail again, I had forgotten about Erix. I forgot that he’d be here somewhere in the Agency. And forgot his power of camouflage.
He can blend into anything, changing the colour of his very clothes and skin. But as soon as he moves, his features stop blending into whatever’s surrounding him.
His dark eyes stare down at me with the familiar mocking feline expression and I’m reminded of just how much I hate him.
“We had a deal!” I yell, all too aware of how deranged I surely look at this point.
“Deals can be rearranged.” Erix says with a shrug.
I bear my teeth at him. “If you touch a single hair on her head you have no chance of me coming back when the conscription contract is over!”
“You broke the conscription contract when you ran.” He sneers at me, “you’re lucky I didn’t kill her then.”
I stare down at him. “There was nothing in the contract that stated I had to be in the army the whole time. It just said I couldn’t come back here.”
“Don’t think yourself clever Maeve, that was not a loophole.” He seethes at me.
I start to reply but he holds his hand up to cut me off and I fight the urge to spit at him.
“Do as the King of Hidale requests and Abigail will remain unharmed and alive. Play games or involve others, we will show Abigail that life can be worse than death.”
Torture.
Gods, I can’t let that happen to her.
“Since when did you partner with Hidale?” I sneer at him.
“It serves a purpose.” Erix replies casually, looking at his finger nails as he raises them to his eyes.
I snarl at Erix, resisting the urge to launch forward and show him all the anger I’ve kept buried deep.
But I can’t attack them, least of all because I’m in chains but mostly, because they still have her.
“So if I do what Hidale wants.” I say nodding my head towards where he stands, “you won’t touch her?”
Erix shakes his head. “You do exactly what Hidale asks and no different, then yes, your sister's life will be.” He stops and kind of shrugs a little, “pleasant.”
Erix prowls forward, looking cat-like in his features, I’ve always hated that.
“Then once you have successfully completed your mission, you’ll meet us here and you can have her back.”
I stare at him, not believing what he says. This has to be a trick or what they’re asking me to do is so terrible that they’re not expecting me to finish the mission. There’s no way he’d so willingly offer her back to me.
“And if I refuse?” I mock, tilting my head at him.
Erix remains calm but narrows his eyes at me.
Then in an instant, his gaze is now at the soldier and he gives him a nod.
I turn and see the soldier slam Abigail to her knees and hold his blade to her throat.
I scream, the sound drowning out the pounding of my heart.
“No—” I cry out, the sobs in my throat cutting my words short.
“Please… please don’t hurt her—”
My knees drop to the ground and I clutch my chest.
Fear like I’ve never known runs through my body as I stare at Abigail with the blade to her throat, just piercing her skin.
Tears are streaming down her face but she makes no noise and I don’t know why but that feels almost worse than seeing her beg for her life.
It’s like she’s accepted her fate.
The soldier brings the blade against her harder and I see a bead of blood form below the metal.
I whip my body towards Hidale, desperation taking over all the anger I feel.
“I’ll do it… I’ll do anything.” My eyes are pleading and burning with tears. “Just please… don’t hurt her.”
My voice cracks on every word and I think they have successfully broken me.
The bastards know it too.
Hidale looks towards his soldier and calls him off. They drop Abigail to the floor and she gasps and clutches her throat.
When she pulls her fingers away I can see the few drops of blood that coats them. Her eyes widen as she stares down at them and her fingers start to shake.
“I’m so—” my voice breaks entirely as I look at Abigail and she stares back up at me with those eyes filled with tears
and fear.
“I’m so sorry.”
She doesn’t say anything but the soldier grabs her and hauls her up.
“I will fix this!” I yell as they take her out.
“I will fix this, I promise you!” The desperation in my voice drowns out as she gets removed from the room.
Abigail gets taken from me as quickly as she did all those years ago.
She’s gone and I am nothing.
Nothing but a whisper of history repeating itself.