Chapter Twenty-One
LILY
“I’ll kiss you all night if that's what you want.”
I said the only thing that popped into my mind.
“Yes, please.”
The grin that spread across Knox's face turned my knees to water and set the rest of me on fire.
He expected me to eat dinner after a kiss like that?
I couldn't think after a kiss like that.
I was turned upside down and inside out. The last twenty-four hours had spun me like a top. I was still spinning.
When I stopped, I'd get my bearings, but right now everything was still awhirl inside me.
I couldn't forget that arm around my neck, the gun to my head. The bone-deep terror that Adam would be hurt. That the gun would go off and I'd be dead. Then Knox was there, one more person I—
One more person I cared about who could be hurt.
The next thing I knew we were at the beach under the bright summer sun and Knox was declaring himself my knight in shining armor.
I wish I could say I was shocked by his revelations about Trey. I hadn't expected things to be that bad, but I'd known on some level that Trey's business hadn't been above board.
I trusted too easily.
I'd trusted Trey.
Now I was trusting Knox.
I wanted to think I'd learned my lesson, that this time I'd chosen to trust the right man. I couldn't know.
Knowing isn't trust. Trust is in the heart.
The truth is, you never really know another person. Everyone has secrets. The best you can do is go off what they show you. What they do.
By the time I understood that I was already married to Trey. Knox had shown me nothing but good. What about the cameras? I had to ask myself.
I couldn't blame him for suspecting me. Trey had done a good job arranging our finances so I looked guilty, and Knox had told me about the cameras, knowing I'd be mad, wanting to be honest anyway. That had to count for something.
Maybe it was the way he'd promised we'd find Adam's birth certificate, promised I wouldn't lose my son.
I'm not a child, and I'm not stupid. I knew Knox couldn't promise me those things. He didn't control the universe. Without those papers, the deck was stacked against me no matter how powerful the Sinclairs might be.
Yesterday he'd looked at me like I was a criminal. He'd told me I might be liable for Trey's crimes. Today he swore he was on my side.
I believed him. Maybe I shouldn't, but I did. Something about Knox… I couldn't not believe.
He didn't bullshit. Didn't charm. He didn't talk fast to get what he wanted. Knox laid it all out. He was who he was. He didn't talk unless he had something to say.
How could I not trust this man? A man who kept his cool through dinner with a cranky five-year-old, and still had the patience to read that five-year-old a book until he fell asleep?
It's one thing when it's your five-year-old. I love Adam more than life, and by the time Knox came in, I was ready to smother him with a pillow.
Anyone who thinks that sounds bad has never had a five-year-old.
Now we were alone. Finally alone. And everything had changed.
He took my hand, leading me to the table. I followed, wobbling a little, my knees still weak from that kiss, my head still spinning from everything else.
I sat in front of my takeout container of lobster. It was cold, but it still looked good. Knox set my refilled glass of champagne in front of me and sat on the opposite side of the small table.
I took a bite and let my eyes wander our suite, suddenly too shy to look at Knox. That kiss had my brain all muddled.
I'd heard of the East Street Hotel. On a weekend in July, a two-bedroom suite didn't come cheap. I'm not wealthy, but Trey left me taken care of. I wouldn't take advantage of Knox.
“This room must have been expensive,” I said, sneaking a quick glance at Knox. “I'll pay for it when we check out.”
The look Knox gave me almost made me laugh. Amusement and impatience warred on his face. “No. You're not a client. Not anymore. Anyway, Alice partly did it to piss off Cooper. I'm not going to ruin her fun.”
“Why would Alice want to piss off Cooper? Doesn't she work for him?” I asked, wanting a glimpse into Knox's life.
“I'm not sure if Alice works for us or we work for her. The place would fall apart without her. Alice is with Coop more than anyone. Evers and I like getting out of the office, but Cooper runs everything. Alice is his right hand.”
“Is it like a love/hate thing?” I asked, trying to get a picture in my head.
Knox took a sip of his champagne, thinking before he said slowly, “No it’s a love/dumbass thing.”
“What does that mean? Which one of them is the dumbass?”
“They’re both dumbasses. But mostly Cooper.
Alice was married until recently, but her husband was a loser and he was never around.
Cheated on her. Told her he didn’t want kids and then got his girlfriend pregnant.
A total asshole. She’s way too good for him.
Once they split, we all figured one of them would make a move, but so far, nothing. ”
“Are they going to stop being dumbasses?”
Knox rolled his eyes to the ceiling and the side of his mouth quirked up. “No one knows. We thought about starting an office pool, but if Alice finds out, she'll kill us all. I don't mind pissing Cooper off, but Alice likes me. I want to keep it that way.”
“If this hotel suite shows how much she likes you, I don't blame you,” I said.
“Yeah, this is partly that Alice likes me, and partly wanting to annoy Cooper.”
“Because of how much it costs?” I asked, not sure I understood.
Sinclair Security had a private jet, and I'd seen the cases of surveillance equipment Knox brought with him. It's not like they were running the company on a shoestring.
Knox shifted in his seat, suddenly uncomfortable.
“What? Why would the suite make Cooper angry?” I forked another bite of lobster in my mouth and watched emotions flicker across his face.
“Cooper doesn't think I should be involved with you.”
Of course, he didn't. “Knox, I get it. You're trying to figure out what's going on with your dad, and I was married to his partner in crime. I understand why your brother would want you to stay away from me.”
“Cooper doesn't get to call the shots. He doesn't know you.”
“And you do?” I asked, meaning the question as a friendly tease. It came out dead serious. I'd only known Knox for a week. He didn't really know me either. His next words showed me how wrong I was.
“I know you, Lily. I know you're in a shit situation and doing the best you can.
I know you're a great mom, and when something is important to you, you work for it and you won't give up.
I know you're kind, sometimes when you shouldn't be.
You're patient. Honest. I know you're as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside.
And I know keeping my hands off you for the last week was one of the hardest things I've ever done.”
My cheeks got hot, and I found myself staring at my half-empty plate in embarrassment, not sure what to say. That was a lot of compliments.
I thought I was going to say thank you. Instead, I admitted, “I've had a hard time keeping my hands off you, too.”
Knox's dark eyes flared with heat. I glanced to the cracked door of Adam's bedroom. He was asleep. I could only cross my fingers and pray he'd stay that way.
Knox in a worn T-shirt and cargo pants was one thing. Drool-worthy for sure.
Knox in a button-down with the collar open? He was so hot he was nuclear. I was a little dizzy at the thought of opening those buttons, getting my hands on all that tanned skin.
His eyes on mine, he said, “Eat your dinner, Lily.”
Unlike my son, I didn't argue. I ate my dinner, wondering what was going to happen when my plate was clean.
We finished quickly, pushing our take-out containers aside at the same time. Knox left our champagne on the table but picked up the box of chocolates and walked to my side, taking my hand and pulling me from my chair.
I followed him to the couch, struggling to decide where I should sit—was it too desperate to sit next to him? Should I pick the other side of the couch or get over my nerves and sit right on his lap?
I decided on something in between. I could have saved myself some time. Knox hooked an arm under my knees and turned me, pulling my legs over his lap. I sank back into the arm of the sofa, looking up at him.
I'm not tiny, only a little on the small side, but Knox loomed over me. Taller, broader. Bigger all over. Was he big all over? Was I going to find out?
I couldn't tell the difference between nerves and anticipation, butterflies at war in my stomach, my lungs tight, heart racing.
I hadn't been touched by anyone other than myself in years. After the few times I tried to initiate sex with Trey and he wasn't interested, I'd given up. Anything physical between us had dried up a long time ago. Knox was my first kiss since Adam was born.
I lay there, staring up at Knox, not sure what to do next.
That was okay. Knox had a plan.
Without saying anything, he pulled a truffle from the box of chocolates and held it up to my lips. I took a bite, not expecting the gooey fudge center that spilled out. Knox watched my mouth, his pupils dilating as my tongue flicked out to lick my lips.
Hooking a finger in the strap of my sundress, he tugged it down my shoulder. It was the kind with a shelf bra built-in, and with another tug it slid all the way down, baring my breast.
Knox was completely silent, the look on his face so focused, so hungry, I thought I would melt. Holding the half-eaten chocolate between his fingers, he smeared gooey fudge across my nipple.
Holy shit.
He'd barely touched me, and I was ready to explode. Slowly, so slowly, he leaned down, the anticipation stoking the fire between my legs and drawing my nipple tight. He smashed the chocolate between his fingers and pressed it into my hard nipple, covering me with chocolate.