Chapter Twenty-Seven
LILY
Knox was on me in a heartbeat. I was caught in a cyclone of sensation, his mouth sucking at my nipples, moving from one to the other, his fingers plucking and pinching, sending sparks ricocheting through my body.
His mouth was so wet, so hot, so hungry. Demanding. Softening me with his need, leaving me languid and on edge at the same time, the contradiction muddling my brain.
I was a spring wound too tight, ready to snap.
Low moans rolled from my throat. All I could say was his name.
“Knox. Oh, Knox.”
Something hot and hard traced the seam of my pussy, teasing out moisture. Not his cock. A callused fingertip circled my clit, and I shivered.
One finger dipped inside. Then two. I was wet. So wet. Ready.
I reached for him. I wasn't above begging. I wanted to feel him inside me. Knox made me wait. He parted my legs, dropped his head between them and licked. God did he lick. And suck. And taste. I couldn't stay still.
I wanted more. I wanted everything. He pinned me to the mattress with hard hands, holding me captive under his mouth, drawing me closer and closer to the edge.
“I need to fuck you, Lily. Do you want that? Do you want me inside you?”
Was he serious?
Just the words sent white-hot bolts of lust arcing through me. I couldn't make the hungry sounds in my throat turn into words.
In answer, I bent my knee and let my leg fall open. That was all Knox needed. He kissed the inside of my thigh, then moved up to bite my hip. I heard the crinkle of foil or plastic.
I hadn't even been thinking of protection. Idiot. I didn't have time to be glad Knox was prepared. He was over me a second later, his weight pinning me to the mattress, the head of his cock pushing inside me, stretching me almost painfully.
I needed him so badly the pain only gave the pleasure an edge. He rocked into me slowly, gently, feeling how tight I was after so many years untouched.
Emotion welled in my heart. I knew what he needed, and still, he was gentle.
It wasn't just emotion. It was love. I wasn't going to lie to myself anymore. It was stupid as hell to fall so fast, but I loved Knox.
I wouldn't tell him. I couldn't. I did the only thing I could think of. The only thing that felt right. I raised my knees, locked my feet behind his back, and surged up, taking him to the root.
His eyes closed, the ecstasy spreading across his face the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. Those hard cheekbones and dark eyes suffused with a joy only I could give him.
I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, hanging on tight as he groaned in my ear. “Lily I need—Lily I need to—”
I held him with everything I had and whispered, “Fuck me, Knox. Please. Fuck me.”
His chest rumbled and his hips snapped forward. I thought I had all of him, but as he fell into a hard, fast rhythm, I realized there was more.
The grind of his pubic bone against my clit, the stretch of his cock inside me, the rasp of his chest hair over my nipples all drove me out of my mind. Out of my body.
The orgasm was a thunderclap, leaving me deaf and blind, boneless and tingling, holding onto Knox, those last few thrusts throwing me higher. Further.
I couldn't breathe, wasn't sure I knew my own name, but I knew the man inside me. When he finally let it take him under, I kissed him.
Everything I couldn't say in words, I said with my mouth, giving him my heart. My fear. My love. My want for him—to keep him with me, to make him happy, to give him anything he needed.
In that moment I didn't care if loving Knox was stupid or reckless.
I didn't care if my heart would end up broken.
I didn't want to protect myself.
I wanted to love Knox.
Knox collapsed to his side as if every muscle in his body gave out at once. He rolled, taking me with him so he didn't crush me. I sprawled on top of him, feeling the loss as his cock slipped from my body.
I knew with a condom it wasn't smart to keep him inside. I wasn't worried about getting pregnant, but until we talked about it—and we hadn't— it was better to be smart about condoms.
Maybe thinking the same thing, Knox eased out from under me, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “Be right back.”
He was, slipping under the covers a few minutes later, pulling me back into my half-sprawled position on top of him. He nuzzled his mouth into my hair.
“I love your hair. So soft. When you opened the door that first day, I thought it couldn't possibly feel as soft as it looked, but it's even softer. Smells like the beach.”
“Coconut,” I murmured. “I use coconut oil.”
He was so warm, the thud of his heart under my ear lulling me into a dream of Knox and me. Together.
His hand stroked down my back, tracing a circle over my tailbone and sweeping back up again. When I thought I could form words into a sentence, I asked, “How many of those condoms do you have?”
His laugh rumbled under my ear. A wave of embarrassed heat took me and dissolved when he said, sounding a little embarrassed himself, “A box. I bought it in Bar Harbor. Not that I thought—I wasn't assuming, but—”
I pressed a kiss to his chest. “I'm glad you did. How many do you think we can use in one night?”
Knox hooked his hands under my arms, hauling me up his body and settling me over him, my legs straddling his abs. His half sleepy, sated smile had an edge. Dark eyes glinted up at me as his hand covered my breast, squeezing a nipple between his thumb and forefinger.
I squirmed against him. I'd kind of been joking when I'd asked how many condoms we could use, but with his hands teasing me, his hard body between my legs, and that look in his eye, I was definitely ready for another round.
His cock stirred. Knox wasn't ready yet, but he would be. I pressed my mouth to his, kissing, rubbing his tongue with mine, our breath mingling, hands stroking.
My forehead pressed to his, I lifted my hips and shifted, trapping his hardening cock between his stomach and my pussy.
Oh yeah, I was totally ready for another round.
The scream sliced through the room, severing me from my dreamy arousal. Knox went stiff, his hands tightening on my hips reflexively before he rolled, taking me with him. He was off the bed, yanking on his clothes while I was still trying to get my legs to work.
Another scream and my brain kicked online.
Adam. Adam.
No alarm. There was no alarm. It's a nightmare.
Ignoring my clothes, I lunged for the robe hanging on the back of the bathroom door, sliding my arm through the sleeves as I groped for the bedroom door. I had to get to Adam.
Knox's hand closed over my shoulder, pulling me back. Driven by instinct, I tried to dive past him, but he put his body between me and the door. “Lily, wait. Let me go first.”
The absolute command in his tone broke through my panic. I held back long enough for Knox to clear the hall before me. He kept a hand on my arm, holding me behind him as he made sure there wasn't any danger standing between me and my son.
Adam was alone in his room, sitting bolt upright, eyes wide, panicked. Like the night before he whimpered, “Mom, Mom, Mom.”
Unlike the night before, this time he saw me.
I fell to my knees on the carpet, pulling him into my arms. He buried his head in my neck, wetting my skin with his tears, murmuring my name over and over.
Knox took the floor beside us, his back to Adam's bed, pulling us into his arms, his forehead pressed to my temple, his hand rubbing Adam's back.
“It's okay, buddy. It's okay. Your mom's right here. Everything's okay. Everything's okay.”
I don't know how long we sat there. Griffen appeared in the doorway, probably having heard Adam's screams and the pound of Knox's feet as he ran down the hall. Without saying a word, Knox looked up and nodded. Griffen nodded back and disappeared.
After a while, Knox tightened his arm around me, urging me to my feet, taking Adam so I could get up. Adam curled his arms around Knox's neck, pressing his cheek to Knox's wide chest and letting out a sigh.
I didn't realize I was crying until Knox lifted his hand and wiped a tear from beneath my eye.
“He'll be okay, Lily.”
That wasn't why I was crying.
My heart was too full. I was a lost cause. Seeing Knox hold Adam like that got me deep inside. I had no defense against a man like this, one who would hold my child with such tenderness, even after that child had interrupted him in the middle of sex, not once, but twice.
Knox didn't seem to mind. Knox didn't blame Adam. He didn't blame me. He shifted gears and did what needed to be done. In this case, comforting a scared five-year-old boy who'd seen a man hold a gun to his mother's head not forty-eight hours before.
Maybe if Trey hadn't died, Adam would have been more resilient. I wasn't just his mother, I was his only parent.
Knox tucked Adam in on the side furthest from the door, waiting by the side of the bed while I changed into a nightgown.
“You get the middle,” he said, holding up the blanket.
I climbed in, wrapping my arm around Adam. He snuggled into me out of habit, his little hand closing over mine as he fell back to sleep. The bed dipped, and Knox got in, his heavy arm coming over me and Adam.
I wanted to say so many things. To tell him I loved him. To say thank you. Thank you for everything; his kindness and the orgasms. For keeping us safe. For being Knox.
I couldn't figure out how to put the words together, afraid it was too much. I wouldn't be able to live with it if I scared Knox away.
I didn't know how long this thing between us would last. I wanted to keep Knox as long as I could. If that meant I kept my feelings to myself, I could live with it, as long as I still had Knox.