Chapter Thirty-Three
ALICE
Dinner was nice but weird. This wasn’t the first time I’d eaten with Cooper, his siblings, and their women, though it was the first since Knox had brought Lily into our lives.
Conversation was easy, touching on things like the repair and remodel at Knox’s house and Emma’s plans at her job when she was back home in Las Vegas.
Stuff we might have talked about anytime. Normal.
It would have been great if anything in our lives had been remotely normal. Instead, everything was inside out and upside down, and the longer we went without discussing the elephants in the room, the more on edge I became.
Elephant number one, Petra, sat on Cooper's big couch with Adam, snuggling her stuffed rabbit and watching a movie.
Despite her long nap she still seemed tired. Maybe she was exhausted, or it could be the giant dinner she'd eaten. Every time I put food in front of the kid she inhaled it. Either Maxwell had been starving her or she was going through a growth spurt.
She’d devoured her breakfast, eaten every bite of the snacks I’d brought along for the shopping trip as well as a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch, and she’d dived into her plate of macaroni and cheese at dinner like she hadn't seen food in weeks.
I always heard people talk about how picky kids could be, but Petra ate whatever I put in front of her until every scrap was gone. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad she was eating, but even Lily seemed unsettled by her appetite.
I don't think Maxwell was intentionally withholding food from his daughter, but he wasn't the kind of guy who thought about other people's needs before his own. I doubted a kid’s meal schedule would be the same as an adult’s.
I skipped meals all the time and made up for it later, but I didn't think you could do that with kids.
Then again, what I knew about kids would barely fill a postcard.
Not talking about Petra was one thing, but it was also odd that no one had mentioned Maxwell. Conversation flowed from topic to topic, all of them mundane, as the tension inside me wound tighter and tighter. Cooper sensed it, sending me worried glances as we ate dinner.
I wanted to reassure him, but I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t bring myself to say I was fine. I wasn’t fine. I was stressed and freaked out. I was worried about Petra, about Cooper having to deal with Maxwell, about the changes in my life, so fast and so huge.
We were sipping on coffee and after-dinner drinks, finishing the crumbs of the cake Axel and Emma had picked up from Annabelle’s, when out of nowhere, Knox said, “Dave Price sent over the paperwork.”
Beside me, Cooper went solid, every muscle in his body locked tight. I leaned closer, my own muscles going stiff with tension when I realized he wouldn’t meet my eyes. What paperwork?
Fortunately, Summer asked for me. “What paperwork? What did you need Dave for?”
Dave Price was their family lawyer. All at once I knew, before Evers answered his girlfriend’s question. “Cooper strong-armed Dad into agreeing to sign papers terminating his parental rights to Petra.”
I glanced over my shoulder to make sure the kids weren't listening, even though I knew the surround sound speakers would drown out any conversation from this side of the room.
My head spun. Maxwell agreed to sign papers terminating his parental rights.
Evers hadn't said who would get custody of Petra.
Somehow, in all my mental back and forth about Petra, it hadn't occurred to me that Cooper had three brothers, one of whom was currently raising a child not much older than Petra.
It hadn't occurred to me that she might not end up with us.
My stomach clutched. My heart ached with a stabbing pain. I didn't know what I was getting into, didn't know if I was ready, didn't know if I'd be any good at this, but the thought of packing up that bedroom, of handing Petra over to someone else, sent panic arcing through me.
I bit my lip to keep my mouth shut, wanting to shout into the room, No! She's ours.
I couldn't do that. She wasn't my little sister. I hadn't even talked to Cooper about it. Cooper wasn't meeting my eyes. Had he decided Petra was better off with one of his brothers? What if none of them wanted her? Were we just going to give her away, abandon her like her father had?
No, of all the things to worry about, that wasn’t one. I knew these men. They would not abandon that little girl. No way.
I wanted her. I had no right, but that was how I felt. I saw Lily and Knox looking at each other, having a silent conversation, and my heart kicked up in another rush of panic.
They were going to offer to take Petra. I knew it. I shouldn't even argue. Lily was already a mother. She knew what she was doing. Wouldn’t Petra be better off with Lily and Knox?
In desperation, I looked at Cooper. He was watching me, his eyes wary yet hopeful. He raised an eyebrow and my heart leapt. In a low voice that no one else could hear, he said, “Do we want her?”
The shortest of questions, but there was no time for anything else. I'd already cataloged all my doubts, all the reasons to say no.
I did the only thing I could. I said, “Yes.”
Cooper's eyes lit with incandescent joy. He reached to take my hand, squeezing it hard, pulling it to rest on his leg, his fingers wrapped around mine as he said to his siblings, “We want her to stay with us. Alice and I want custody.”
Surprised expressions from everyone at the table but Lily.
My heart still pounding, Cooper's hand the only thing anchoring me in place, I barely heard Evers when he said, “How's that going to work?
Is Alice going to quit? Alice can't quit. We had three days without you this week,” he said to me, “and the place is about to fall apart. I don't want to be an ass—” a quick glance at the kids on the couch and he lowered his voice. “I don’t want to be an asshole but—”
I rode a roller coaster from joy to dismay. I wanted Petra. Cooper wanted Petra. We wanted to give her a home, love, and safety. But I didn't want to quit my job. Cooper couldn’t. He ran the company.
It's not that I have anything against staying home with kids, but I love what I do. And Evers was right, my leaving would affect a whole lot more than just Cooper, myself, and Petra.
I looked at Cooper to see his eyebrows knitted together with worry.
He squeezed my hand again and said to the table, “We'll figure it out.
Alice doesn't want to leave her job, and we need her there, but we can get creative. Before we know it, Petra will be ready for preschool, and maybe at that point, we can look into a nanny. With everything she’s been through, I don't feel right putting her with strangers during the day. Not for a while.”
“Then what?” Knox asked.
“We could do half days,” Cooper offered. “I can scale back, you guys can pick up some of my client work and team management so Alice and I can switch off, one of us working in the mornings and the other in the afternoon. Part-time with both of us is better than one of us leaving.”
Lily leaned forward, and everyone looked in her direction.
Quietly, looking a little nervous now that the entire table was staring at her, she said, “I’ll watch Petra during the day.
I think you're right, for the next few weeks maybe both of you doing half-time or figuring out how to take some days off would be best. That scene at the store today—”
Lily shook her head, her eyes dark with concern. “It was bad. She needs time to settle in. I can come over during the day here and there while she gets comfortable, and once she’s ready she can spend the days with me.”
Relief was sunshine in my heart. Lily was a great mom, and once she married Knox she'd officially be Petra's family. Still, Adam had just started kindergarten and she was still getting used to a new city. Full-time childcare is a huge commitment.
“Are you sure?” I asked.
“Unless anyone can think of a reason that wouldn’t work—” Lily waited for an objection.
Knox kissed the side of her mouth before saying, “I think it’s a great idea.”
With more confidence, Lily went on, “To be honest, the house is a little empty—a lot empty—now that Adam is in kindergarten. Knox and I decided—” Lily sent a questioning look at Knox, who gave her a reassuring smile.
“We’re not ready to start trying for another child until Adam's had more time to adjust to the last year. He’s doing great, but losing his dad and then moving…it's a lot all at once and he’s only five. We have time to add to our family, and by then Petra should be starting school herself.”
Lily looked at Cooper and me. “Just because you guys are taking custody doesn't mean we all shouldn't pitch in. She has four brothers, you know?”
I let out the breath I'd been holding. If Lily would watch Petra, if we could do what she suggested and ease her in so she was comfortable with everyone before Cooper and I went back to work full time… That solution would be just about perfect. I leaned forward to catch Lily’s eye.
“You really wouldn't mind? It's a lot to ask.”
“We’re family, aren't we? This is what families do. That little girl is attached to you. I saw it today. She didn't want me, she didn’t want Griffen. She wanted you. I've already seen her with Cooper tonight. You both genuinely want her, and she clearly wants you.
“And honestly, I'm at loose ends right now. I don't want to get a job I don't really need just to fill the time. I love kids, loved being with Adam when he was Petra’s age, but I don’t want to take care of a stranger’s kids.
This is different. If it doesn't work out, I'll tell you and we’ll find another solution.”
“If you really don't mind,” Evers said, “you'd be a lifesaver, Lily. Because seriously, if we don't have Alice at the office we’ll all end up killing each other.”
“What about me?” Cooper cut in with mock offense. “You can’t live without Alice, but you can live without me?”