Chapter Seven
The room was dark except for a strip of light under the door. Bryce leaned against the door and listened to his own breathing. Far too fast, and he hadn’t run anywhere, but he felt like he had.
He pressed his palms over his eyes. It didn’t change anything. His mouth still remembered the closet. His body still remembered Sage’s hand in his hair and the steady hold at his back. For those two minutes, everything made sense. That was the problem.
“Chemical reaction,” he muttered. “Drunk. Whatever.”
He didn’t buy it. He dropped onto the bed and stared at the ceiling. He tried to picture Layla and got Sage instead. His gray eyes in the dark. Do you regret it? He hadn’t said no because saying it out loud would have changed things.
His phone buzzed under a pile of notes. He left it and told himself to calm down.
He couldn’t, though. He thought about the times Sage had sat three feet away and made the room feel comfortable.
He should have noticed that before tonight.
He thought about Sage’s palm at his spine and had to roll onto his stomach and breathe into the pillow until the heat in him settled.
Nine minutes. He counted them. Then he stood. Lying there wasn’t helping and leaving Sage to carry it alone felt worse than the confusion in his head.
“Test the hypothesis,” he murmured.
He opened his bedroom door quietly. The apartment was quiet, and the living room was dim. The lamp in the hall threw a warm half-circle across the floor. Sage stood at the counter with his hands braced like he needed it to hold him up.
“Hey,” Bryce said.
Sage looked over, and Bryce saw the way his body stiffened. “Hey.”
Bryce shoved his hands into his pockets so he wouldn’t reach without asking and decided to ignore the fact he wanted to reach for Sage. “I shouldn’t have walked off.”
“Probably not,” Sage agreed.
“I’m not good at this.”
Sage exhaled heavily. “Me either.”
They stared at each other across their own living room like it wasn’t theirs, the air thick with tension. Bryce licked his lips and looked away, then ran a hand over his face. “When I said it was nothing,” Bryce tried. “I didn’t mean… I didn’t mean that.” He shook his head. “I’m saying this wrong.”
Sage waited. He was good at that. It made Bryce want to fill the silence. “Bryce.” Sage whispered his name.
“It didn’t feel like a joke,” Bryce murmured.
“No.” Sage nodded. “It didn’t.”
“I don’t know what that makes me.” Bryce shrugged, looked down at his feet. “I don’t know.”
“It makes you a person.”
“Not helpful.” Bryce snorted as he shook his head.
“It’s the best I’ve got.”
Bryce huffed out a breath. He took two steps toward Sage, stopped, then moved closer. “Can I—” He gestured between them. “Is it okay if I—”
“Yeah,” Sage said. “It’s okay.”
Bryce crossed the last few feet and set his hands on Sage’s shoulders. He could feel Sage’s warmth under his shirt. Feel the solidness of him. “Tell me to stop if it’s too much or you’ve changed your mind.”
“I will if I want you to,” Sage said.
Taking a deep breath, Bryce leaned closer and kissed him.
No beer. No game. Just his decision to do this.
Something in him settled when their lips touched.
Sage met him halfway, mouth opening with a quiet sound that made Bryce tremble.
Bryce moved one hand to the back of Sage’s neck, thumb sliding along his jaw.
Sage put one hand on Bryce’s waist; the other moved up his back, sliding into Bryce’s hair.
He didn’t yank or tug. He just held him.
They kissed slowly, then deeper, tongues touching, licking, caressing.
When Bryce’s fingers tightened, Sage made a low sound in his throat that sent a shiver through Bryce.
They backed up without planning to and bumped into the hallway wall. The light knock shook a laugh from Bryce that went straight back into the kiss, moaning softly when Sage’s fingers tightened where they held him.
“Still okay?” Bryce asked softly.
“Yeah,” Sage answered. “You?”
“Yeah.”
They didn’t rush it. When Bryce felt himself start to, he tightened his grip on Sage’s shirt and slowed down. When Sage’s breath hitched, Bryce eased back half an inch, rested their foreheads together, then kissed him again.
Sage’s hand slid higher under the shirt, fingers spreading between Bryce’s shoulders. The pressure was light but sure, and Bryce leaned into it without thinking. He leaned on the wall, his hands sliding over Sage’s back, his fingers digging in slightly.
They broke when they needed to breathe. Bryce rested his forehead against Sage’s and closed his eyes. Every breath he took, he could smell Sage, and he knew he wanted more but had no idea what this was or how Sage felt about it.
“I don’t have a label for this,” he whispered.
“We don’t need one tonight.” Sage moved his head and kissed Bryce’s cheek, sliding his lips over the skin before kissing him. “We can leave it like this tonight.”
Bryce nodded as his thumb brushed Sage’s jaw. He liked the roughness there, the feel of Sage’s stubble. “I don’t want to screw us up.”
“You won’t.”
“You can’t know that.”
Sage leaned back just far enough for their eyes to meet. “I know you. And I want this. With you. Whatever this is.”
Bryce swallowed and nodded. “Okay.”
“Slow. We can do slow.”
“Yeah.” Bryce nodded. He could do slow while they figured this out.
Sage lifted a hand and put his palm over Bryce’s chest, and Bryce covered it with his own. They stood there and breathed until Bryce felt like he could move.
“Bed?” Bryce asked. “I mean, just to sleep.”
Sage understood. “Yeah.”
They pushed off the wall and walked to Bryce’s room. He switched off the hall lamp as they passed. In the doorway, Bryce stopped. “This is weird, right?”
“Extremely,” Sage said. The honesty helped.
Bryce kicked off his shoes and pulled the blanket back.
Sage hesitated at the edge, then slid on top of the covers.
Bryce followed. They lay on their backs first, shoulders not touching, both staring at the dark ceiling.
Bryce slowed his breathing by counting four in, four out.
It worked a little, helped to settle him.
“You awake?” Sage asked.
“No,” Bryce said.
They both laughed quietly. It loosened Bryce enough to say, “I like you here.”
“Me too,” Sage said.
“Don’t tell anyone.” Bryce wasn’t ready for anyone to know what was happening between them. He didn’t know exactly what was happening between them, and he needed to before anyone else did.
Sage nodded and smiled. “Classified information.”
They turned at the same time and bumped into one another. Close now. Bryce lifted his arm and placed his hand on Sage’s shoulder because he didn’t know where else to put it. It fit. Sage rested a hand on Bryce’s waist. It was a steady weight that eased something inside Bryce.
“Still okay?” Sage asked.
“Yeah,” Bryce answered.
The apartment made its small noises. A car hissed by outside. Bryce listened and felt Sage’s breath warm on his cheek. He thought about tomorrow and let it go. He thought about names for this and let that go too. None of it mattered right then.
“You’re my—” Bryce started, then stopped, heat rising in his face.
“Valentine?” Sage responded.
“Shut up.”
“It’s the day.”
“Technicality,” Bryce said, but he was smiling.
Sage’s thumb touched the edge of Bryce’s T-shirt and slid over the skin. Bryce answered with a light press of his hand on Sage’s shoulder. He didn’t need more tonight. He needed to sleep and wake up with Sage in the same spot.
“Night,” Sage said.
“Night,” Bryce said.
He thought he wouldn’t sleep. He did as soon as Sage’s breathing evened out, and the mattress settled under their weight. His last clear thought before sleep took him was this doesn’t feel wrong.